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Old 07-07-19, 05:30 AM
Drogheda98 Drogheda98 is offline
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yo everyone again, things keep on stirring in my head

first I would like to ask a general question to anybody that can answer cause I truly don't know the name for the notion I'm looking for, what is the name for that, things stirring in my head? do any of you know?

anyway, the other day I took an IQ test just for piece of mind, and a lot of you have know me fairly well. there was a notion that Jordan Peterson made, that their are "numbers that are housed withen ones mind", withen my own mind and anyone else that tells us how good we are doing. the first number is in computer concepts, 80% in the state, public speaking, 90% in the state and 13th place at nationals were I went off script and spoke from my heart, 70% at impromptu speaking, and according to the ravins iq inventory, around 138 in iq. I don't want to brag and if I am please, someone tell me. I've just become more aware of who I am, and what I can do, were my emotions are.

really, I would never admit any of that to anybody else, I feel safe admitting all those things here cause I truly believe that the point to our life, is to know who we are, to know who I am, and then to act upon our skillets, or what we can do. all those numbers are housed in my mind. another reason I took the ravins inventory was I was scared ****less about dementia or Alzheimers, and never wanted to take a formal test cause, ya, I was scared, and the last few months have been all about facing all of my fears, cause I truly believe that is how we truly know who we are, or, first person, who I am. and ya, know that stuff about myself is all well and good, however I never want to flaunt any of that in front of others, I just had to know for myself going forward. also, I can recall that I almost got invited to a photo gallery, anyway.

I made it to the BEACH!!!! third trip, somehow I knew was going to be, finding out in large part, who I am, what I can do, what I'm good at. I enjoy traveling and photography, I have a sort of connection with the environment around me, stopping to smell the roses, people seem to resonate with the photo's and music and other creative works I do, and I think everyone needs a bit more awe in their life. I'll post photo's on facebook, not even my best photo's, and I get like 200 upvotes, and I know why, because of awe, because I have the courage to go were other's won't or can't at no fault of anyone's, and I believe the reason people like photo's of nature, is because we are all part of nature.

be it desert photo's, forest photo's, any landscape photo's I take, or telephotography, even some cityscape, museums, art, animals I first, take them for my own, however, it's not all about me, life that is, it's also about other people. healthy self esteem comes from whithen who I am, reception comes from other's who view my art, respect comes from others who know from experience that I both walk the walk and talk the talk, heh.

I think it comes down to awe, the collective thing that I know I needed more of, and I think, others do as well, one of those common qualities of the human condition that truly does cross all boundaries, the internal/external thing in all of us that I think becones all of us, and ya I'm hinting at more than one notion. heh, said that more for myself.

the 8 thing is still on my mind, I recounted my 3 trips on redit on the day that was "cake day", reminding me of something my therapist said to me a long time ago, that I can have my cake and eat it too. classes start on the 8th of this month, I have more than enough money to get by, I know were I want to purchase a house, mostly, I'm going to rest tomorrow cause it's been nonstop for about a month, the day after is the 8th, the last motel I stayed at had an 8 on the air-conditioner, which, even if I was making the 8 stuff up, which I wasn't, their is absolutely no way I could of predicted that.

I'm ready to start the next chapter of my life.
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