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  #1  
Old 03-30-13, 05:24 AM
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ADHD and...maturity?

It's so hard to put this into words. But the more I think about it, the similarity of maturity and ADHD doesn't seem to fit.

I've heard people mention they're 'young at heart' but...it doesn't mean there's a childish immaturity surrounding that. Considering ADHD and the general definition of maturity probably isn't a stable comparison anyway. Being mature means accepting responsibilities, and that doesn't always fluctuate backwards with ADHD, no? Someone with ADHD can be just as mature as their peers.

I guess it's hard to explain. Maybe maturity isn't the proper word. Maybe....expectations? Or something else.

Seriously, if maturity means getting old and boring...then...who in their right mind wants to be mature?

Anyhow, just my two cents.
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Old 03-30-13, 06:16 AM
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Re: ADHD and...maturity?

Good questions, glad you raise this topic. Coincidentally, I was just thinking about this a couple of minutes ago. I think maturity, I would call it "becoming a (wo)man", is very important. Yes, getting old and boring may be part of it. But let's face it, we all age and it's natural. In the same way it's natural to become mature and deal with the things that come to us in life in a responsible way, even if it's boring, painful, messy, scary, etc. I think it's good to strive to learn to face all these challenges as good as possible and at the same time not get discouraged by our weaknesses that come from ADHD.

People who are not mature may rely much more on their feelings, if something doesn't "feel" right they don't do it. In this way you don't learn character and it get's you nowhere. Believe me, I know, because I used to be like this. I think this is particularly a challenge for ADHD people and I don't wish to call others immature, let everyone be his own judge. I just think sometimes pushing through, ignoring your feelings and just doing it because you know that doing this is for the greater good, is something that's just part of growing up. You may delay is, you may not learn this at all (like many people), but you're better off if you pay attention to these matters, because, as the Art of Manliness (Manvotionals) book tells us, "character is power".

If you don't do your own duties, other people will have to do these things for us, which makes you dependant. I think independence is very important, even if it means I have to do my own laundry and work all day, because, if you do these things, you will build character, so you can take what life brings you and you will be able to do much more good for others, because others people will know that they can rely on you.

I hope this helps answering your questions, or starting a discussion! Cheers!

Edit: I wish to add something to avoid confusion. I said it's good to learn to ignore your feelings for the greater good is part of maturity, but I think it's also mature to learn to acknowledge your feelings and to take them into account in a balanced way when making decisions. Like Aristotle says it: the good is in the middle. For example, courage is the mean between recklessness and cowardice. courage is not the absence of fear, it's the mastery of fear. Haha I'm drifting off-topic here, so let's finish here.

Last edited by Jacksper; 03-30-13 at 06:29 AM..
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Old 03-30-13, 06:25 AM
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Re: ADHD and...maturity?

maturity is overrated.
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Old 03-30-13, 07:01 AM
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Re: ADHD and...maturity?

I would say the part of maturity that equates with a lot of things people 'expect' from you when you grown up is the part that is overrated. I would call that the outer maturity.

The inner maturity, building your character, cannot be overrated in my opinion. One of these character traits is that you take responsibility for your life, and that you don't live the way people expect you to live, but to live a good life (the two may be similar or very different).
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Old 03-30-13, 08:41 AM
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Re: ADHD and...maturity?

Maturity is a bit subjective OMHO. I think commonly people use the word to mean, takes care of their responsibilities and is self reliant for their wellbeing.

I think about the question a lot too. I generally go by the emotional mastery definition. In that someone has a set of principles that govern their approach to life which allows them to live in a sustainable and healthy way.

So someone can be narrow-minded yet still mature if it allows them to function smoothly and independently.

Maturity is something that is very untangible to my personally. Since being diagnosed, my opinion of how I wan't to mature is totally different to before. I used to want to develop my sense of understanding of the world, have opinions on pertinent worldly issues etc. etc. Now, I just seek balance and self determination in some areas of my life.

Secretly, I love the immature, jumpy, out there side of me. The challenge is nurturing this while not allowing it to dictate my daily emotional being.
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Old 03-30-13, 10:04 AM
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Re: ADHD and...maturity?

The rational version is consciously making a decision. It may be a selfish, risky, irresponsible one, but if it has been thought through, the intellect has been used and it means you've got a reason, an alibi to justify your actions, regardless of what anyone would judge that action to be.

The actual version is not applicable in the case of mental conditions as maturity is a comparison based of society's average human standard brain development. Wouldn't it be cool if that standard actually was ADHD ?Unfortunately it isn't. It is the 'normal' (majority of people on a scale of a certain concentration within a specific perimeter I think) neurological capacity according to its age. If it (maturity) would be comparable to mentally differently evolving group of people, it would only signify there would be no condition to speak of. As the label of the condition was 'invented' (y'know what I mean) to describe people who develop differently and different means other speeds or ways of developing on their self or in their environment - maturity is not to speak of.

Take a psycho (got involved personally with three people dx with AsPD) and me... how are our brains similar ? I've done my research and the EQ of a socio or psychopath is extremely slowed down, whereas ours is just very slowed down. Example - a 65 yo psycho has managed to actually feel remorse... never felt before in hist life. 65 yo ! Finally he had reached a society's standard level. A schizo or schizoid works differently again as well. Not immature, just different.

Sure, you can compare yourself to others but I suggest it's utterly pointless to hurt yourself in vain and doesn't prove a thing. Our maturity even varies enormously among our family (of attention deficit)

So conclusion - the only maturity we should worry about is any rational decision that defines the rebellion of becoming an individual, taking your life into your hands, having a stand up alibi, standing for your beliefs, having an opinion, facing reality and taking action (or not^^) to revolutionize the world. That's the one I stick with.

PS - well said : if being mature would mean losing emotion... God that would be awful - besides, humor is proof of maturity, as for being able to laugh about things that despite taking seriously, you can look at through the point of view of someone else.


Oh and off the topic - Maturity is not the most important thing. The most vital Quantum in our social based community is LOVE. For real, compassion : EQ. Not IQ. Otherwise I'd be screwed...

Last edited by Gilthranon; 03-30-13 at 10:26 AM..
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Old 03-30-13, 11:39 AM
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Re: ADHD and...maturity?

idk...
ive been preoccupied with this literally for years.
i dont feel actually feel "young at heart", yet sometimes i still get that feeling like at school when i had no idea what was going on. will think about this some more...
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Old 03-30-13, 12:53 PM
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Re: ADHD and...maturity?

is there a difference between 'growing up' and 'maturing'?
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Old 03-30-13, 01:26 PM
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Re: ADHD and...maturity?

I remember when I was younger, I met a girl on an online game and she told me to grow a pair of balls...

I can be wrong but I believe we reach our maturity around the age of 40...
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Old 03-30-13, 05:17 PM
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Re: ADHD and...maturity?

I am very responsible but also can be extremely childish, especially be bored and then behave like a 16 year old.
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Old 03-30-13, 10:22 PM
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Re: ADHD and...maturity?

Oh nuts, I must be mature. I rely on thought rather than gut feelings. I solve all my problems.

But I feel young. Sometimes I feel like 7 year old who hasn't developed emotional understanding, can be a bit selfish and playing jokes on people and giggling.

I get along with my little nephews in a different way to my other siblings. I get down and play with them (non-imaginatively) and talk to them as though I'm their age. Some of the things I blurt out like 'kid just loves to run' when my nephew is just running off and his parents are struggling to keep him near the group, gets me this nasty look from them. And sometimes when my nephew is being deliberately naughty I laugh along.

I guess I'm just a big kid. Wanna go on the trampoline?

I'm off meds now and I feel like it. I like it. I have all this energy and maybe my level of empathy goes down but...I just think I'm a lot of fun. I think out of all my friends and a few family members I use my head more, to work through problems and gain more understanding of a situation. In that respect I'm more mature, but they're still the boring fart eaters that collect their own farts that they save to smell later.
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Old 03-31-13, 01:01 AM
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Re: ADHD and...maturity?

Quote:
Originally Posted by fracturedstory View Post
In that respect I'm more mature, but they're still the boring fart eaters that collect their own farts that they save to smell later.
Fart humour. The dividing line between mature and immature.
No, actually, the dividing line between immature and childish.

Poopy-head.
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Old 03-31-13, 03:28 AM
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Re: ADHD and...maturity?

And you're asking us about maturity!?!?

(haha jkjk, just had to.. Back to mature convo...ahem...)
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Old 03-31-13, 08:38 AM
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Re: ADHD and...maturity?

If mature people are so serious, then how can they "mature" content on TV?
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