ADD Forums - Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder Support and Information Resources Community  

Go Back   ADD Forums - Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder Support and Information Resources Community > ADULTS AND ADD/ADHD > Adults with ADD > General ADD Talk
Register Blogs FAQ Chat Members List Calendar Donate Gallery Arcade Mark Forums Read

Thread Tools Display Modes
Prev Previous Post   Next Post Next
Old 06-11-18, 11:19 AM
vaneurysm vaneurysm is offline

Join Date: Jun 2018
Location: Australia
Posts: 6
Thanks: 7
Thanked 7 Times in 2 Posts
vaneurysm is on a distinguished road
I think Dex may have just saved my life

Hi All,

I am new here, just wanted to share my story and see if anyone else has had any similar experiences.

Diagnosed ADD as a child, on Methylphenidate for 13 years through school.
Even then, medicated, I always felt I didn't quite fit in.
Typical story, 'he seems to be smart but doesn't apply himself'.
I made it through with 'ok' grades.
Went to Uni, however dropped out after 6 weeks.

My adult life has been quite messy though.

I stopped taking medication not long after I turned 18. I was convinced I didn't need it. Also my father who I love to death was always convinced that I didn't need it either.
So I put ADD behind me and didn't think about it again until recently.

Not long after my 19th birthday I developed a severe anxiety, panic/phobia disorder. At certain stages it bordered on agoraphobia. This is still present to a degree, but some CBT 5 years ago helped a lot.

At 26 after an extremely low risk sexual encounter I was convinced I had caught HIV. I spent 3 months of my life in a constant panic attack. Lost massive amounts of weight (30+ pounds) in those 3 months. (I wasn't overweight to begin with).

Then the alcoholism started. From 27 through until about a month ago (I am in my early 40s) My brain has been obsessed with alcohol.
It started when I moved in with my ex who drank every night. Before that I was a weekend warrior, but now it had become ok to get drunk 7 nights a week.
After we broke up though... the damage was done. The habit was formed.

I met another woman who helped me reel it in, but it was ever present. I was always trying to crowbar drinking in where ever I could fit it.
I did CBT, ACT, outpatient, tried quitting altogether multiple times, nothing seemed to work.

Late last year I became quite despondent, tired of fighting alcohol. I couldn't seem to stop the impulsiveness that led me to drink. My brain just couldn't connect with the weight of the potential consequences vs the few hours of relief I would get from drinking.

So one day late last year, I contacted my brother (Who also has ADD) and asked him how dex was helping him as an adult around issues with impulse control.
He sent me a simple text back that potentially saved my life... 'It is a lot better when I am on dex, I notice it is worse when I forget to take it.'

I thought... 'holy ****... is this ADD? Do I still have ADD?' So i started doing research.
I learned that ADD and Substance abuse go hand in hand for a lot of people.
The more reading I did, the more it made sense. The social anxiety, talking over people, drifting off during conversations, laziness, procrastination, feeling like I didn't fit in etc.

So I made an appointment to see a Psychiatrist who specializes in ADD. It took 6 months to get an appointment though.

I had my first appointment 2 months ago. He put me on Methylphenidate again. It did nothing except cause the most horrible comedowns. Really introverted/depression type feelings. Awful. If anything it made me drink more to try to counteract the comedown.

After that I thought I was ******... I was so hopeful that ritalin would help. I was doomed to have to try to fight drinking until the day I died... I wasn't sure if I would be able to keep living like this...

The worst of it was the drinking while at work. I couldnt stop myself from going for a drink as soon as the bars opened at 8am. Every day I would tell myself I wouldn't... but I kept doing it.
I was walking a very fine line that had I got caught, I probably would have lost my job.

So I had a follow up with my Psychiatrist, told him the ritalin failed and that I was probably just an alcoholic and I was destined to destroy my life whether I wanted to or not.

He suggested Dex. I told him there was no point. He insisted... so I said 'ok' I will give it a try.

I went home, started my way into another 6 pack of beer and 3 beers in I thought, **** it, might was well try this dex.

Holy ****. The change was instantaneous. I actually almost didn't feel like finishing the six pack. (spoiler alert: I did)

However since then, I have been taking Dex daily and my desire to drink has almost completely disappeared.
I have not had the urge to leave work and drink for over 3 weeks now.
Also other areas of my life are so much better.
I can concentrate and apply myself to tasks, I am interested in hobbies that I could only enjoy when drinking but now without alcohol.

It's ******* amazing.

Apparently I have been living my entire adult life on 'hard mode'.

Anyway, that is my story.

Hopefully the Dex keeps working.
It has literally saved my life from Alcohol.
Reply With Quote
The Following 5 Users Say Thank You to vaneurysm For This Useful Post:
finallyfound10 (06-11-18), Little Missy (06-11-18), namazu (06-11-18), PoppnNSailinMan (06-11-18), stef (06-11-18)


Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On
Forum Jump

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
New ad/hd Diagnosed...Feel like I ruined my whole life Damaged Goods Adult Diagnosis & Treatment 7 02-16-12 10:08 PM
Oh Dex; where've you been all my life? tweedledee Dexedrine/Dextrostat 9 12-11-08 06:44 PM
Poetry of James, aka Jimmmaaa-If anyone is interested jimmmaaa Poetry 7 04-25-05 01:27 AM
The beautiful things in life.. Dreameralive_sky Chit-Chat 0 09-28-04 11:06 AM

All times are GMT -4. The time now is 12:49 PM.

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.7.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2019, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
(c) 2003 - 2015 ADD Forums