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Old 10-14-13, 05:19 AM
hattz19 hattz19 is offline
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ADHD is ruining my life...

Long story short, I was prescribed adderall in July after being diagnosed with ADHD. I'm a 21-year old college student, 5'10", ~183, pretty active (run 3-4 times a week. I'm also out of state, from PA but go to school in CA. Was diagnosed back home in PA, I worked my way up from 5 mg IR for two days to 10 mg for two until eventually I got to my first day of 15. It was going AWESOME. I understood and retained what I read, making me feel great since ADHD caused me such academic woes until being diagnosed. I thought I found my cure, until, while reading my business law book.(1.5 hours after the medication kicked in), I experienced the worst panic attack of my life. Chest pressure, dizzy, etc. Stopped until September 23, when fall quarter began. I titrated up from 10mg for two days to 15mg for two days and 20mg for about a week until I saw my doctor and he gave the ok to do 20mg twice a day.

However, a whole host of symptoms began. On the bright side, one of my main academic issues was somewhat solved. I’m a second-year out of state student with a 3.96 GPA, but boy last year was hell. I didn’t learn anything, and reading a page of a book was a nightmare. However, it wasn’t hell like the symptoms I’ve been experiencing. I was never anxious before being prescribed and only had a panic attack once before that in March ’13, when I idiotically drank a Red Bull at midnight after drinking a coffee and taking a 200mg caffeine pre-workout earlier that day.

Anyway, I began doubling my 20mg Adderall on October 3, 2013. The first dose was promising- not the feeling the 15mg in July gave me, but no negative symptoms. The second dose was hell. I was at the library, went to my car to take the second dose of 20, and walking back up my heart rate was through the roof, I was lightheaded and couldn’t wait to sit down. I constantly drink water and fidget when I studied. Scenario of the positive aspects: I took 20 at 11 AM and 4 PM usually and it took 20-30 minutes to kick in. I zoned out less and was really persistent with learning. I stopped looking at the clock because I was engaged with learning. Those, however, are where the positives end. The negatives are horrendous. This past Friday, for example, I masturbated, and right after climaxing my eyes kind of rolled back, I had immense head pressure, began hyperventilating, was extremely anxious, dizzy, lightheaded, disoriented. I went to the ER and my heart rate was 120+ and BP was 150/90+. Two days before at the doctor’s office, BP was 114/68 with an RHR around 60. However, the machines at pharmacies keep telling me I have prehypertension or hypertension? So I was discharged from the ER, watched a TV show, and decided to go to bed. Then I began shaking violently and my teeth were grinding. I wasn’t cold at all. Called the doc, went to the ER. More than likely a massive panic attack. Originally, the doc said to titrate down, but then told me to stop cold turkey.

I was only on it for two weeks, but yesterday and today were awful. I went to bed on Saturday after the ER (and 24 hours of no sleep) and slept until 5 PM. I felt like hell and was really moody and irritable and depressed. Then today I felt the same way, very irritable and nervous, and just angry at the SLIGHTEST things. Not myself at all. I went to the coffee shop to study (or at least try to), and couldn’t. Every time I tried I became anxious. Even writing this right now is hard. My head then began shaking and I felt weak and irritable. It freaked me out and I kept feeling like I was gonna pass out. I also suffered from extreme fatigue. Also, tonight after masturbating, same thing, even though I’m not on the med.

Is Adderall not right for me- was the dose too high? Maybe it’s the fact that I’m taking 22 units, but I don’t think so. I’m seeing my doc tomorrow morning and really want to see what he says. I will fail academically without the medication but don’t want to risk anything. I just don’t know what to do… I just want to be non-medicated self again with my ADHD addressed and panic attack free…

SYMPTOMS:

Negative:

-Feeling of pressure in my chest.
-On the 20, felt a little bit overmedicated, but it seems to actually work better.
-Chest tingles, serious anxiety.
-Basically when I’m reading, I get these “jolts” within 30-45 minutes of taking it, which go away.
-Yesterday when I took the 20, and other days when I took the 15, I noticed that if I took the dose at 11 AM (my normal time), I have a little bit of anxiety that again is short, but comes back when the medication is ending. Then, at my 6:30 PM math class, I begin to FREAKINGLY hyperventilate. I lose focus, which ****** me off because I want to learn.
-Less aware driving.
-Works differently with meal timing.
-Shaking head.
-When I masturbate, high anxiety.
-Cheek pulsate, leg shake.
-BP readings are inconsistent, pulse rate in 100's on med.

Positive:

-Can focus more. (BIG deal)
-Even though not as much as originally, it does help when it’s in me.
-Less distracted, don’t read and forget, can sit still better.
-Feel better overall.
-Much less fatigued.
-ECG and EKG all good, not heart-related.
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