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Women with ADD/ADHD This forum is for women to discuss issues related to being a woman with AD/HD.

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  #46  
Old 09-19-17, 11:27 AM
acdc01 acdc01 is offline
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Thumbs up Re: SINGLE ADHD WORKING WOMEN: holy crap is your house ever clean??? HELP

I was so messy before I have been kicked out and have had people move out with the sole reason cited as they can't stand how messy I was.

Then I moved into around 600-700 square foot condo. This condo has 1 bedroom (do not recommend studio), a great room where kitchen/living room/dining room are, and a bathroom. That's it. Rooms are just thr right size too. Too small and jist a little clutter eill look like a lot of clutter. Hardwood flooring also makes the ground really easy to clean. I recommend an automatic robot vacuum cleaner as well. Condos also close to work so I save about 5 hours of commute time. Add to that it's not a house so I don't have to do any exterior maintenance, yard upkeep, etc and I pretty much saved a whole work day worth per week of time I can spend on chores now.

I became a minimalist and didn't buy anything I didn't need and got rid of stuff i didnt need. I put my laundry basket right next to my shower and got into the habit of dropping my clothes in it immediately before washing.

After these changes my place became immaculate. I would say moreso than the average person even. It actually felt really weird to be so clean, like it didn't feel like me and that it was just me pretending to be something I'm not just to appease society. But well, it worked extremely well. I don't think I could have improved without changing my environment as radically as I did.

With no space or stuff to make a mess with, i kept the place immaculate for a very long time. Then I got a cat and now that one little cat has thrown off my balance and made my place messy again. Although now it's not nearly as bad as I was before. Still clean enough I can let people see my home.
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  #47  
Old 10-02-17, 12:17 PM
dgadhd dgadhd is offline
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Re: SINGLE ADHD WORKING WOMEN: holy crap is your house ever clean??? HELP

I can clean and organize anybody's stuff BUT mine. I actually enjoy organizing as long as it is somebody else's stuff. Can anybody relate?
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  #48  
Old 10-03-17, 03:39 AM
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Re: SINGLE ADHD WORKING WOMEN: holy crap is your house ever clean??? HELP

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I can clean and organize anybody's stuff BUT mine. I actually enjoy organizing as long as it is somebody else's stuff. Can anybody relate?
Im the same way, I can clean and scrub someone place. Organize it very well. Personally I cannot for the living of me do it. I take forever though. Yet I'm over here in a hurry to clean for the other person.
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Old 10-13-17, 04:06 PM
ataylor1215 ataylor1215 is offline
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Re: SINGLE ADHD WORKING WOMEN: holy crap is your house ever clean??? HELP

I'm not single or working...I'm a stay-at-home mom with 3 kids in school. Which means my excuse of not having time to stay up on housecleaning because I was taking care of the kids or the kids were making it messy is gone. (I do work part-time from home, so it's not like I have nothing to do). Anyhow, the times my house stays the cleanest is when we have people over on a regular basis. Likely a weekly play-group (when the kids were younger), bible study, family bbq's, whatever. If I have people coming over every week then I forced to do a pretty good cleaning before they come. Even if I wait until the last minute (which is always) I get more done than if I didn't have that extra motivation of people coming. And because it has to be done every week, it's not long enough for it to get too terrible in between. I am still messy. Closets aren't organized well, my bedroom often looks terrible, and I have hot spots here and there, but having the pressure to pick up/clean on a regular basis keeps it from getting completely out of control.
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Old 10-14-17, 04:41 AM
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Re: SINGLE ADHD WORKING WOMEN: holy crap is your house ever clean??? HELP

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Originally Posted by ataylor1215 View Post
I'm not single or working...I'm a stay-at-home mom with 3 kids in school. Which means my excuse of not having time to stay up on housecleaning because I was taking care of the kids or the kids were making it messy is gone. (I do work part-time from home, so it's not like I have nothing to do). Anyhow, the times my house stays the cleanest is when we have people over on a regular basis. Likely a weekly play-group (when the kids were younger), bible study, family bbq's, whatever. If I have people coming over every week then I forced to do a pretty good cleaning before they come. Even if I wait until the last minute (which is always) I get more done than if I didn't have that extra motivation of people coming. And because it has to be done every week, it's not long enough for it to get too terrible in between. I am still messy. Closets aren't organized well, my bedroom often looks terrible, and I have hot spots here and there, but having the pressure to pick up/clean on a regular basis keeps it from getting completely out of control.
I also am a stay at home mom and my kids are older so I always feel like I should have a perfect home and its not.
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Old 10-09-18, 11:11 AM
amymya amymya is offline
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Re: SINGLE ADHD WORKING WOMEN: holy crap is your house ever clean??? HELP

Hiya! I'm new to this forum and wanted to say how much I empathise with this!! it's uncanny. But an additional factor - I am single at the moment and this has an interesting effect on my sex life. You'd think I was invested enough in the possibility of having people over that I'd be able to manage the chaos - but apparently not. My bedroom is much more likely to be utter chaos than my living room and other areas, largely because I aim to invite people round for films and other things often enough purely in order to force myself to get the more public living area into shape...
Does anyone else have a particular approach when they want to have guys over - or do they just always go to the guy's house?
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Old 10-09-18, 05:12 PM
SashaBV SashaBV is offline
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Re: SINGLE ADHD WORKING WOMEN: holy crap is your house ever clean??? HELP

Not single, but DH is disabled and can't help. My grownup DD has someone who comes in twice a week, and I just SO envy her! She doesn't even had ADHD, does work full time and can afford it. I just hate certain parts of the cleaning...and forget being organized. There's been times in my life when I could manage fairly well avoiding the pigsty effect, but...seems that is over. I'd much rather being outside working on my garden when I have the energy to do it.
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Old 01-05-19, 02:49 PM
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Re: SINGLE ADHD WORKING WOMEN: holy crap is your house ever clean??? HELP

My house i s never clean and worse my car looks the same as my house. I have been on medication for a couple years now and it has had no effect on my being able to organize and clean. I feel judged as well. My dad is embarrassed by me. I don't let people get to close to me because of it. I don't have relationships or other friends over. I wish I could change it. I've been trying to research ideas to
help me but so far nothing is changing.
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  #54  
Old 01-06-19, 12:44 AM
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Re: SINGLE ADHD WORKING WOMEN: holy crap is your house ever clean??? HELP

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Originally Posted by allisax View Post
My house i s never clean and worse my car looks the same as my house. I have been on medication for a couple years now and it has had no effect on my being able to organize and clean. I feel judged as well. My dad is embarrassed by me. I don't let people get to close to me because of it. I don't have relationships or other friends over. I wish I could change it. I've been trying to research ideas to
help me but so far nothing is changing.
Can you afford to hire someone to help you clean your house and keep it clean? I know some people can't afford it but are you sure you are one of them? I think if it's keeping you from maintaining friends and relationships, it should be a priority financially (not above food and housing of course but other stuff).
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Old 02-05-19, 03:00 PM
IdaOslo IdaOslo is offline
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Re: SINGLE ADHD WORKING WOMEN: holy crap is your house ever clean??? HELP

My house is hardly ever tidy. I've added a toddler to the mix (single mom) which doesn't help the tidying situation at all. 😉 I try not to worry about it, but I do. Yesterday, a neighbour with a toddler came over for a playdate unannounced, and I just panicked because of the mess. My only advice is to try and think about how you feel when visiting a messy home. I have a friend who is just as chaotic as me, and I love visiting her, I feel relaxed there. I feel so much less relaxed when I visit people with perfect homes. So I try to focus on that, hopefully at least some people feel the same when visiting us.
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Old 03-30-19, 12:18 PM
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Re: SINGLE ADHD WORKING WOMEN: holy crap is your house ever clean??? HELP

I was seriously reading this wondering if I wrote it in my sleep or something lol!

I relate to this so much! Multiple diagnoses, same issues with cleaning, same emotions around dating, same reaction from my mother!

I don't have much advice for this, I am still working out some kind of system for myself.

The only thing I have done that has helped is talking with a couple of close friends who have seen my place at the peak of filth and inviting them over relatively regularly to help motivate me to clean. This way, I have the motivation of someone seeing my place, which is extremely effective, but I don't have the crazy anxiety feeling that if I don't get anything done, they won't judge me because they have already seen it. Also, letting them know that's what I am doing in advance preps them for whatever they walk into lol!

I hope you have found some helpful suggestions in some of these responses! You are not alone! Thanks for sharing!
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Old 04-12-19, 04:47 PM
EnergonWaffles EnergonWaffles is offline
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Re: SINGLE ADHD WORKING WOMEN: holy crap is your house ever clean??? HELP

I used to feel terrible. But then I met a couple at church who constantly had people over at their house, and their house was somewhat messy. They were unapologetic about it, and would just say "Welcome! It's messy, because people live here!"

Now, I've learned to make a quip like "Sorry it's messy...but you know... I live here." That usually diffuses any shame or awkwardness.

Another strategy is I'll purposefully invite over a friend who DOES have high standards for cleaning. Like, somebody who knows me well enough to say something and would care. And I know I'll care if they care. That's a great motivation for me to get up and get the place spotless.
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