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  #1  
Old 04-01-07, 01:18 PM
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Trading one addiction or condition for another

I by far do not claim to be a saint or a poster child for a 12-step program, and some may get PO'ed as they may feel this post does not belong in this part of the forum, but that is ok, blame my ADD.

What I have found is that I can claim this so-called sobriety as it relates to not drinking or drugging, yet as it came to cyberspace, I had no defense. I myself finally succumbed to investing in a computer 5 years ago. I never thought that I could get yanked into that world of cyberspace.

At first I could moderate my time, I won't go into the graphic neglect of my home and children, as I got enmeshed into the monitor screen chatting with all kinds of people. I fortunately came across another person in recovery who told me how our addictions would spill over onto the Internet. I balked and then I found myself addicted. She actually advised me to work the 12 steps on the computer. Wow! What a revelation that was!

The reality is, is that I rationalized and justified my computer usage as not being a problem. I thought my children and friends should be grateful that I was not out running the streets. What I have found in a 12-step recovery program is that by human nature we very well trade one addiction for another.

How many of you see first hand how the Internet has affected your sense of emotional sobriety and that of your family and friends? This is horrible and terrible, but my older daughter asked me one day what would I do if I was not on the computer. I replied, “I'd probably be talking to you.” How cold-hearted! But in my addiction, that had become my reality.

When do we take away from communicating with our partners or children for the camaraderie of strangers on the Internet? What a concept to become an active participant in the lives of our partners or children. We very well may have to look at self. We've already done 4th steps in other aspects of our lives.... why do it on our addictions to the Internet? Why not, is what I ask?
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Old 04-01-07, 01:57 PM
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My wife is addicted to the internet.
How much time do you spend on it Willow?
After work, my wife gets home at 5:30pm.
After walking at 6pm, we get home and she gets on the internet, on her game "Second Life."
She plays it from 6:30pm to 3am every week day.
Then on Friday night, she comes home around 6-7pm, and she's on it when I get up the next morning around 7am.
She eats breakfast, piddles for a few minutes, and then she's back on it until
2-3am the next morning (Sunday).
All day Sunday, until 3am Monday, then to bed, and up again at 6:30 am to go to work.
Are you this bad or worse?
It does affect relationships, because I end up playing my video games off and on, when I'm not cleaning the house, doing the dishes, cooking, working in the yard, or washing clothes.
She does none of this whatsoever.
This isn't a rant, I could really rant if I wanted to.
I just wanted to show you what the addiction can do to people.
If you enjoy it, that's great.
And actually she does make money on this game, but at what cost?
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Old 04-01-07, 04:09 PM
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I'll say this much, I don't burn my children's dinner any longer, I go to work, I pull weeds, I go out and interact with real people... it is a concentrated interaction now. There are times I'd wonder who or what was going on, on the net. Now I go to bed at a respectful hour... I am so much better.... not well, but better. Btw... video gaming also has its addiction element.
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Old 04-01-07, 05:23 PM
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I play my game 2-3hrs a night, and on Sat and Sun, it's the same time as during the week, no extra time just because I'm away from work.
As for my wife...this is just something we are going to have to work on.
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Old 04-01-07, 06:22 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by gstien
My wife is addicted to the internet.
How much time do you spend on it Willow?
After work, my wife gets home at 5:30pm.
After walking at 6pm, we get home and she gets on the internet, on her game "Second Life."
She plays it from 6:30pm to 3am every week day.
Then on Friday night, she comes home around 6-7pm, and she's on it when I get up the next morning around 7am.
She eats breakfast, piddles for a few minutes, and then she's back on it until
2-3am the next morning (Sunday).
All day Sunday, until 3am Monday, then to bed, and up again at 6:30 am to go to work.
Are you this bad or worse?
It does affect relationships, because I end up playing my video games off and on, when I'm not cleaning the house, doing the dishes, cooking, working in the yard, or washing clothes.
She does none of this whatsoever.
This isn't a rant, I could really rant if I wanted to.
I just wanted to show you what the addiction can do to people.
If you enjoy it, that's great.
And actually she does make money on this game, but at what cost?
with any type of addiction there are questions that must be asked about the person and about the addiction. the first is what is the reason behind the addiction, what is the person trying to replace, what kind of pain is being covered over by the action.(I know more than one question. ) any addiction does affect everyone the addict knows and loves. what is going on or has gone on in your wifes world that she feels like she needs to escape?
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Old 04-02-07, 04:58 AM
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I think addictions give many a source of focus. . . .a direction where we can apply our energies for some type of reward.

Gary has a brother who can't quit smoking pot and popping Somas, he has a cousin who used to be a wine-o but exchanged his wine for a Bible. Gary gave up drinking and replaced it with constant working. My theory is some people are addicts plain and simple they didn't ask to be that way any more than I asked for ADD and dyslexia however at least in the case of Gary and his cousin they were able to replace unhealthy addictions for more productive ones.

I spend a lot of time here and I spend a lot of time on the computer. I used to be alone a lot because Gary works until he is physically exhausted then he comes home and plops in front of the TV. All my children are grown and live in other towns. I work strange hours so I am up when most are asleep. I tried several approaches to no avail. . . . so I found a distraction of my own. .and you guys are it. .my internet life came about because I was looking for a productive way to live around who he was and to fill my need for "company" at 2:00am.

This medium suites me well because it is interactive, flexible, and give me more control. I prefer e-mail over talking on the phone. The phone rings when it wants to how ever I read my e-mail when I want to. I get tired of ADD one click and I can be transported into the middle of a heated debate. . . . if I get tired of internet society I can always turn you guys off. . . . having hyperactive ADD mean often feeling like life is in over drive going 100 miles an hour down a steep hill with no brakes. The only control I have is over me, my perspective and my reactions. Here in cyberspace I feel as if I have more control over my environment so I do tend spend a lot of time in it.

I hope this makes sense.
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Old 04-02-07, 07:53 AM
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It makes perfect sense. I understand the time flexibility and the turn-on/turn-off mode options of the internet. You have that flexibility in your life and the time.... whew, one day, some day I will have that also. I will say, I have done somethings on the net, that I normally wouldn't have (no, notthing kinky like webcamming).

I do know people who have taken a 'good addiction' and addicted the good out of it, and it turning around becoming a bad addiction ~ anything done in the extreme.
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Old 04-03-07, 07:36 PM
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Quote:
I do know people who have taken a 'good addiction' and addicted the good out of it, and it turning around becoming a bad addiction ~ anything done in the extreme.
I think with any type of action it can become bad if we let it take over our lives and the thing becomes unmanagable. so any thing that is done in moderation and does not hurt urselves or others is it bad or is it good or just indifferent?
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impossible is not a word,
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Old 04-03-07, 09:18 PM
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You're doomed if you ever pick up world of warcraft.
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Old 04-04-07, 10:08 AM
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I take it that is where you are at? Warcraft Doomsville?
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Old 04-04-07, 10:14 AM
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The expansion came out and i have two characters to level to 70 :/
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Old 04-04-07, 10:18 AM
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What's considered 'moderation' to one does not necessarily mean it is moderation to those around them. We are an interesting collage of characteristics that is not truly appreciated by those that surround us ~ My conception of moderation is neither good or bad... it is a happy medium, and if I am happy...
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Old 04-04-07, 10:29 AM
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2 Years ago I got addicted to Star Wars Galaxies, another MMORPG. I lost 6 months of my life to that game, getting up before school just to play for a half hour, then from jumping off the bus till bedtime I'd play it. Those games create such a unique cyber-society it was as if I lived in it, where every player had a purpose. You can even get married and buy a house in that game, on top of fighting huge star wars monsters. Whoever thought to create these games are evil geniuses lol.
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Old 04-05-07, 09:59 AM
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lol... the only thing I got addicted to was that "Pole Position" (race car driving) and "Frogger" (that frog hopping across the freeway), but that was WAY back in the day. In the world of video games today, I am lost, and it seems like it is a good thing. I can get myself all twisted up with time in a multitude of addictions given the opportunity.

Well, I guess what can be said, is that you aren't out running the streets or participating in deviant behaviors.

Interesting observation and/or question. I have known grown men to spend hours of their waking day mesmerized in the world of video fantasyland. Does it fill a void of an adrenaline rush that they cannot create or get from real life? Do they trade that as a means not to have the human interaction with those around them? Does it hamper the emotional growth in interacting with real life?

sorry... the question may be deep... I noticed I am old enough to be your mama, as my daughter was born in '89.
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Old 04-06-07, 03:12 AM
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This thread is BS. Before the internet you never heard of "library addiction." It's just becuase the internet seems so magical to many that it needs to be labeled an addiction. Indeed the internet is an amazingly powerfull and flexible source of information and I wish more people were "addicted" to information. I would would not have said this even a few years ago but the internet is the most empowering and accessable technology of the century. I supose you can waste alot of time with it but it has truely enhanced my quality of life. And while I'm on the topic don't EVER take the internet for granted. Support net neutrality lest we ever be denied the right to freedom of information.
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