ADD Forums - Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder Support and Information Resources Community  

Go Back   ADD Forums - Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder Support and Information Resources Community > ADULTS AND ADD/ADHD > Adults with ADD > General ADD Talk
Register Blogs FAQ Chat Members List Calendar Donate Gallery Arcade Mark Forums Read

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #1  
Old 02-23-18, 04:17 AM
mildadhd mildadhd is offline
ADDvanced Forum ADDvocate
 

Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: North America
Posts: 11,915
Thanks: 1,766
Thanked 1,241 Times in 937 Posts
mildadhd has disabled reputation
It makes me doubt ADD is real when..

It makes me doubt ADD is real, when people promote medication as only the treatment for ADD.

It makes me doubt ADD is real, when nobody wants to discuss or learn how self regulation normally develops, and only wants to recommend medication.

It makes me doubt ADD is real, when discussing attachment and attunement role in developing self regulation is seen as off topic and blaming the parents. (when attachment and attunement are essential requirements for healthy brain development in every human ever born)

It makes me doubt ADD is real, when people who have ADD wish me good luck privately, but will not promote the benefits of supervised PLAY, and healthy brain development.

It makes me doubt ADD is real, when people are only interested in promotiing medication use, and not any other known treatment factors, essential for normal development of self regulation.

I makes me doubt ADD is real, when medication, medication, medication, medication..

Makes me wonder if I am wrong to take medication., because the perspective is so lopsided.







M
__________________
"When people are suffering mentally, they want to feel better—they want to stop having bad emotions and start having good emotions." (-Temple Grandin)

Last edited by mildadhd; 02-23-18 at 04:46 AM..
Reply With Quote
  #2  
Old 02-23-18, 05:00 AM
namazu's Avatar
namazu namazu is offline
Contrapunctual Moderator
 
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Northern Hemisphere
Posts: 14,411
Thanks: 64,433
Thanked 20,769 Times in 10,448 Posts
namazu has a reputation beyond reputenamazu has a reputation beyond reputenamazu has a reputation beyond reputenamazu has a reputation beyond reputenamazu has a reputation beyond reputenamazu has a reputation beyond reputenamazu has a reputation beyond reputenamazu has a reputation beyond reputenamazu has a reputation beyond reputenamazu has a reputation beyond reputenamazu has a reputation beyond repute
Re: It makes me doubt ADD is real when..

Quote:
Originally Posted by mildadhd View Post
It makes me doubt ADD is real, when people promote medication as only the treatment for ADD.
Does that happen often? I don't know of any serious clinician or honest-to-gosh ADHDer who would argue that medication alone is sufficient for most people with ADHD .

Quote:
Originally Posted by mildadhd
It makes me doubt ADD is real, when nobody wants to discuss or learn how self regulation normally develops, and only wants to recommend medication.
You keep saying that nobody wants to discuss or learn how self-regulation normally develops.

I don't think that's true.

I do think that posts with big blocks of uncontextualized quoted material, along with strings of unfamiliar jargon, make it difficult for some people to participate succesfully or in ways they find satisfying. Sometimes I see a long quote and wonder what to do with it.

Similarly, when a thread topic is really broad -- "Let's explore Topic X" (where "X" is something that is often covered in one or more entire college-level or postgraduate courses) -- I think some people can get lost trying to figure out what the focus is. I know that has been true for me.

I also think some people prefer to learn these things in other ways, not by reading posts on a forum.

And some of us are here for support and practical ideas for treating our own ADHD as adults. While learning about normal early childhood development is interesting and useful in some contexts, it can be difficult to see the direct implications for our adult lives, with the (quirky) brains we already have. If you want to engage others in discussing these topics, making those connections clearer might help.

Quote:
Originally Posted by mildadhd
It makes me doubt ADD is real, when discussing attachment and attunement role in developing self regulation is seen as off topic and blaming the parents.
Speaking as a mod...

If you start a thread on attachment and attunement's role in developing self-regulation, and you make it clear in the OP that that's the topic of the thread, you certainly won't be off-topic if you post about them.

If someone else starts a thread on attachment and attunement, or on the development of self-regulation in early childhood, you won't be off-topic if you post about them.

If you start posting about these topics on someone else's thread, without clearly considering and/or referring to the OP's intent or needs, and/or if you start side conversations with members other than the OP, your post may be considered off-topic.



Speaking for myself only...

As for "blaming the parents" -- I think people can be very touchy about this. I don't think that linking social stressors to ADHD is necessarily "blaming the parents". (I don't think those links are necessarily causal, either.) But I can also understand why people who are parents may feel guilty about their children's ADHD, if they get the impression that something they could have altered contributed to it, and get defensive.

Quote:
Originally Posted by mildadhd
It makes me doubt ADD is real, when people who have ADD wish me good luck privately, but will not promote the benefits of supervised PLAY, and healthy brain development.
Do you know anyone here who discourages healthy brain development?! I haven't met anyone here who does...

I think supervised play is great for kids with and without ADHD! So is unsupervised play (for kids who can be left unsupervised without danger to themselves or others). Play is good for adults, too. It can help relieve stress, be good exercise, and boost mood and sometimes feelings of social connection.
Reply With Quote
The Following 6 Users Say Thank You to namazu For This Useful Post:
aeon (02-23-18), Kaia.S (02-23-18), kwalk (02-27-18), Lunacie (02-23-18), PoppnNSailinMan (02-24-18), psychopathetic (02-23-18)
  #3  
Old 02-23-18, 05:04 AM
psychopathetic's Avatar
psychopathetic psychopathetic is offline
e-(((hug))) extraordinaire!
 

Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: Wyoming, USA
Posts: 10,430
Thanks: 29,509
Thanked 15,398 Times in 7,666 Posts
psychopathetic has a reputation beyond reputepsychopathetic has a reputation beyond reputepsychopathetic has a reputation beyond reputepsychopathetic has a reputation beyond reputepsychopathetic has a reputation beyond reputepsychopathetic has a reputation beyond reputepsychopathetic has a reputation beyond reputepsychopathetic has a reputation beyond reputepsychopathetic has a reputation beyond reputepsychopathetic has a reputation beyond reputepsychopathetic has a reputation beyond repute
Re: It makes me doubt ADD is real when..

I don't doubt the existence of ADD.

What I do doubt sometimes is whether I actually have it or not...or if I'm just really lazy and unmotivated in life.
The more I learn about ADD, and the longer it's been since I was diagnosed just a few years ago...the less this doubt becomes.

I believe in meds...Adderall and Dexedrine specifically...because they absolutely do help when I take them, and I'm a slug without them.

Sometimes I feel wrong in taking them because I think they add to my sleeping issues, I'm afraid of becoming physically addicted to them, and sometimes I'm scared I'm wanting/getting too much out of them.
I am very proud of the fact that I have never abused these meds however...which I was afraid I'd do when I first started to take them. And I've never sought out a high from them.

All in all...I do believe ADD is real, I do think medications do work, and that there's nothing wrong with those with ADD seeking out such medicine to help them.
__________________


(((((((MOM)))))))
I Miss You.

Reply With Quote
The Following 5 Users Say Thank You to psychopathetic For This Useful Post:
Kaia.S (02-23-18), Lunacie (02-23-18), namazu (02-23-18), Pilgrim (02-24-18), PoppnNSailinMan (02-24-18)
Sponsored Links
  #4  
Old 02-23-18, 05:07 AM
psychopathetic's Avatar
psychopathetic psychopathetic is offline
e-(((hug))) extraordinaire!
 

Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: Wyoming, USA
Posts: 10,430
Thanks: 29,509
Thanked 15,398 Times in 7,666 Posts
psychopathetic has a reputation beyond reputepsychopathetic has a reputation beyond reputepsychopathetic has a reputation beyond reputepsychopathetic has a reputation beyond reputepsychopathetic has a reputation beyond reputepsychopathetic has a reputation beyond reputepsychopathetic has a reputation beyond reputepsychopathetic has a reputation beyond reputepsychopathetic has a reputation beyond reputepsychopathetic has a reputation beyond reputepsychopathetic has a reputation beyond repute
Re: It makes me doubt ADD is real when..

Also, if you doubt ADD...do you also doubt ADHD? And if so...is it for the same reasons?? Just curious.
__________________


(((((((MOM)))))))
I Miss You.

Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to psychopathetic For This Useful Post:
ToneTone (02-23-18)
  #5  
Old 02-23-18, 05:22 AM
psychopathetic's Avatar
psychopathetic psychopathetic is offline
e-(((hug))) extraordinaire!
 

Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: Wyoming, USA
Posts: 10,430
Thanks: 29,509
Thanked 15,398 Times in 7,666 Posts
psychopathetic has a reputation beyond reputepsychopathetic has a reputation beyond reputepsychopathetic has a reputation beyond reputepsychopathetic has a reputation beyond reputepsychopathetic has a reputation beyond reputepsychopathetic has a reputation beyond reputepsychopathetic has a reputation beyond reputepsychopathetic has a reputation beyond reputepsychopathetic has a reputation beyond reputepsychopathetic has a reputation beyond reputepsychopathetic has a reputation beyond repute
Re: It makes me doubt ADD is real when..

After reading Namazu's post...I'm questioning where you're getting all this info from. You say things like "when people" or "when nobody"...but who are these people? Who is this nobody you're speaking about? You also said "when discussing"...but who did you have that discussion with? Or you said "when people who have ADD wish me good luck privately, but will not promote the benefits of supervised PLAY, and healthy brain development."...but did they really? Was it "people" or just 1 person?

I'm confused and for some reason a bit flustered/frustrated because I don't know who these people are you're getting all this from...
And why do you let these people influence you so deeply?
__________________


(((((((MOM)))))))
I Miss You.

Reply With Quote
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to psychopathetic For This Useful Post:
Lunacie (02-23-18), namazu (02-23-18), ToneTone (02-23-18)
  #6  
Old 02-23-18, 05:33 AM
mildadhd mildadhd is offline
ADDvanced Forum ADDvocate
 

Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: North America
Posts: 11,915
Thanks: 1,766
Thanked 1,241 Times in 937 Posts
mildadhd has disabled reputation
Re: It makes me doubt ADD is real when..

Could anyone explain why attachment and attunement are essential requirements for healthy development of self regulation?






M
__________________
"When people are suffering mentally, they want to feel better—they want to stop having bad emotions and start having good emotions." (-Temple Grandin)
Reply With Quote
  #7  
Old 02-23-18, 05:37 AM
sarahsweets's Avatar
sarahsweets sarahsweets is offline
Mod-A-holic
 

Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: nj, usa
Posts: 28,219
Thanks: 5,744
Thanked 32,632 Times in 15,113 Posts
sarahsweets has a reputation beyond reputesarahsweets has a reputation beyond reputesarahsweets has a reputation beyond reputesarahsweets has a reputation beyond reputesarahsweets has a reputation beyond reputesarahsweets has a reputation beyond reputesarahsweets has a reputation beyond reputesarahsweets has a reputation beyond reputesarahsweets has a reputation beyond reputesarahsweets has a reputation beyond reputesarahsweets has a reputation beyond repute
Re: It makes me doubt ADD is real when..

Well is this thread about attachment and attunement or whether you doubt adhd is real and what some 'people'promote as treatments and such?
__________________
President of the No F's given society.

I carried a watermelon?
Reply With Quote
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to sarahsweets For This Useful Post:
Lunacie (02-23-18), namazu (02-23-18), psychopathetic (02-23-18)
  #8  
Old 02-23-18, 05:46 AM
namazu's Avatar
namazu namazu is offline
Contrapunctual Moderator
 
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Northern Hemisphere
Posts: 14,411
Thanks: 64,433
Thanked 20,769 Times in 10,448 Posts
namazu has a reputation beyond reputenamazu has a reputation beyond reputenamazu has a reputation beyond reputenamazu has a reputation beyond reputenamazu has a reputation beyond reputenamazu has a reputation beyond reputenamazu has a reputation beyond reputenamazu has a reputation beyond reputenamazu has a reputation beyond reputenamazu has a reputation beyond reputenamazu has a reputation beyond repute
Re: It makes me doubt ADD is real when..

Quote:
Originally Posted by mildadhd View Post
Could anyone explain why attachment and attunement are essential requirements for healthy development of self regulation?
As I understand it...
We are not born with the ability to self-regulate well.
In the very early stages of our development we cry out for (literally) and rely heavily on external assistance for regulation (e.g. from a parent or caregiver who makes us feel safe and who responds to our needs).
Over the course of development many kids/young adults are increasingly able to regulate their own emotions/feelings and internalize these self-regulatory abilities instead of having to rely on others for regulation.
If our basic needs for safety/comfort/connection are not met when we are in the critical stages of development, it is difficult to learn how to regulate our feelings.

(Unfortunately for some of us, even with attached and attuned parents in generally healthy environments, we still fail to develop good self-regulation skills.)

Is this the topic you really wanted to discuss in this thread? I often have difficulty knowing how to respond to threads when the main topic changes in the middle of it.
Reply With Quote
The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to namazu For This Useful Post:
fathom6 (02-23-18), Lunacie (02-23-18), mildadhd (02-23-18), psychopathetic (02-23-18)
  #9  
Old 02-23-18, 05:49 AM
Kaia.S's Avatar
Kaia.S Kaia.S is offline
ADDvanced Member
 

Join Date: Aug 2017
Location: Nederland
Posts: 129
Thanks: 411
Thanked 256 Times in 97 Posts
Kaia.S is a name known to allKaia.S is a name known to allKaia.S is a name known to allKaia.S is a name known to allKaia.S is a name known to allKaia.S is a name known to allKaia.S is a name known to all
Re: It makes me doubt ADD is real when..

Quote:
Originally Posted by psychopathetic View Post
And why do you let these people influence you so deeply?
I hate it that i'm so influenceable and suspect that to be one of my adhd symptoms. Sometimes i don't know where i begin or the other person ends. I still need gratification from others to feel good about myself.

P.e. Yesterday i was freaking out on disturbing thoughts about the meds i've started recently, yet the minute i received some reassuring posts here and after calling my psych, the panic was gone. It's really scary sometimes how things come in, because the disturbing thoughts came after my mother told me she thinks i should not take meds and accept myself the way i am. So it can work both ways, positive and negative. Working on my own intentions and empowerment is very important for me right now.

Posting about your doubts is also a good way to confront your thoughts and check if they are true.
Reply With Quote
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to Kaia.S For This Useful Post:
mildadhd (02-23-18), namazu (02-23-18), psychopathetic (02-23-18)
  #10  
Old 02-23-18, 06:03 AM
psychopathetic's Avatar
psychopathetic psychopathetic is offline
e-(((hug))) extraordinaire!
 

Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: Wyoming, USA
Posts: 10,430
Thanks: 29,509
Thanked 15,398 Times in 7,666 Posts
psychopathetic has a reputation beyond reputepsychopathetic has a reputation beyond reputepsychopathetic has a reputation beyond reputepsychopathetic has a reputation beyond reputepsychopathetic has a reputation beyond reputepsychopathetic has a reputation beyond reputepsychopathetic has a reputation beyond reputepsychopathetic has a reputation beyond reputepsychopathetic has a reputation beyond reputepsychopathetic has a reputation beyond reputepsychopathetic has a reputation beyond repute
Re: It makes me doubt ADD is real when..

Quote:
Originally Posted by Kaia.S View Post
Posting about your doubts is also a good way to confront your thoughts and check if they are true.
I strongly agree with this, well worded...I hope I didn't come across as being against posting your doubts. I'm a huge supporter of people opening up and venting on support forums like this one.
I do have to admit I tend to ride a high horse (which is a saying they use when someone acts/thinks they're better then someone) at times and I did so a bit in that post...it's something I've been trying to work on for years.
So I probably did come across as being a negative a-hole to some. I'm sorry for that .

I do still question where he's getting this info from and who these people he's talking about are though.
__________________


(((((((MOM)))))))
I Miss You.

Reply With Quote
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to psychopathetic For This Useful Post:
Lunacie (02-23-18), namazu (02-23-18)
  #11  
Old 02-23-18, 06:30 AM
mildadhd mildadhd is offline
ADDvanced Forum ADDvocate
 

Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: North America
Posts: 11,915
Thanks: 1,766
Thanked 1,241 Times in 937 Posts
mildadhd has disabled reputation
Re: It makes me doubt ADD is real when..

Quote:
Originally Posted by mildadhd View Post
Could anyone explain why attachment and attunement are essential requirements for healthy development of self regulation?

M
Quote:
Originally Posted by namazu View Post
As I understand it...
We are not born with the ability to self-regulate well.
In the very early stages of our development we cry out for (literally) and rely heavily on external assistance for regulation (e.g. from a parent or caregiver who makes us feel safe and who responds to our needs).
Over the course of development many kids/young adults are increasingly able to regulate their own emotions/feelings and internalize these self-regulatory abilities instead of having to rely on others for regulation.
If our basic needs for safety/comfort/connection are not met when we are in the critical stages of development, it is difficult to learn how to regulate our feelings.

(Unfortunately for some of us, even with attached and attuned parents in generally healthy environments, we still fail to develop good self-regulation skills.)

Is this the topic you really wanted to discuss in this thread? I often have difficulty knowing how to respond to threads when the main topic changes in the middle of it.
I mentioned this topic as an example in my opening post.

That is why I asked this question, in this thread, as an example.

So I am not sure why you are saying that I changed topics?

The fact that I got to pull my hair out, to get people to discuss and promote topics that could determine whether some of people have deficits of self regulation, or possibly reduce some people severity, makes me doubt if taking medication is the right thing do.

Why are we not discussing this type of topic all the time, along with medication use?

Why are we not discussing/promoting this type of topic before medication is even an option?




M
__________________
"When people are suffering mentally, they want to feel better—they want to stop having bad emotions and start having good emotions." (-Temple Grandin)

Last edited by mildadhd; 02-23-18 at 06:51 AM..
Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to mildadhd For This Useful Post:
namazu (02-23-18)
  #12  
Old 02-23-18, 06:54 AM
psychopathetic's Avatar
psychopathetic psychopathetic is offline
e-(((hug))) extraordinaire!
 

Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: Wyoming, USA
Posts: 10,430
Thanks: 29,509
Thanked 15,398 Times in 7,666 Posts
psychopathetic has a reputation beyond reputepsychopathetic has a reputation beyond reputepsychopathetic has a reputation beyond reputepsychopathetic has a reputation beyond reputepsychopathetic has a reputation beyond reputepsychopathetic has a reputation beyond reputepsychopathetic has a reputation beyond reputepsychopathetic has a reputation beyond reputepsychopathetic has a reputation beyond reputepsychopathetic has a reputation beyond reputepsychopathetic has a reputation beyond repute
Re: It makes me doubt ADD is real when..

Quote:
Originally Posted by mildadhd View Post

So I am not sure why you are saying that I changed topics?
Because you started a topic about one thing...then in your next post you made in the topic (while ignoring people who had questions for you about the original post you made) was about something completely different from what the topic of the thread was.
...why are we saying that you changed topics?
Because as far as I see it...you DID change topics.
__________________


(((((((MOM)))))))
I Miss You.

Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to psychopathetic For This Useful Post:
namazu (02-23-18)
  #13  
Old 02-23-18, 06:58 AM
mildadhd mildadhd is offline
ADDvanced Forum ADDvocate
 

Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: North America
Posts: 11,915
Thanks: 1,766
Thanked 1,241 Times in 937 Posts
mildadhd has disabled reputation
Re: It makes me doubt ADD is real when..

Quote:
Originally Posted by psychopathetic View Post
Because you started a topic about one thing...then in your next post you made in the topic (while ignoring people who had questions for you about the original post you made) was about something completely different from what the topic of the thread was.
...why are we saying that you changed topics?
Because as far as I see it...you DID change topics.

Do you have any perspective on the extremely important question (below) that I mentioned in the opening post?

Quote:
Originally Posted by mildadhd View Post
Could anyone explain why attachment and attunement are essential requirements for healthy development of self regulation?
M
__________________
"When people are suffering mentally, they want to feel better—they want to stop having bad emotions and start having good emotions." (-Temple Grandin)
Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to mildadhd For This Useful Post:
psychopathetic (02-23-18)
  #14  
Old 02-23-18, 07:24 AM
psychopathetic's Avatar
psychopathetic psychopathetic is offline
e-(((hug))) extraordinaire!
 

Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: Wyoming, USA
Posts: 10,430
Thanks: 29,509
Thanked 15,398 Times in 7,666 Posts
psychopathetic has a reputation beyond reputepsychopathetic has a reputation beyond reputepsychopathetic has a reputation beyond reputepsychopathetic has a reputation beyond reputepsychopathetic has a reputation beyond reputepsychopathetic has a reputation beyond reputepsychopathetic has a reputation beyond reputepsychopathetic has a reputation beyond reputepsychopathetic has a reputation beyond reputepsychopathetic has a reputation beyond reputepsychopathetic has a reputation beyond repute
Re: It makes me doubt ADD is real when..

Namazu worded it so well...she explained it way better then I could've.

Quote:
Originally Posted by namazu View Post
As I understand it...
We are not born with the ability to self-regulate well.
In the very early stages of our development we cry out for (literally) and rely heavily on external assistance for regulation (e.g. from a parent or caregiver who makes us feel safe and who responds to our needs).
Over the course of development many kids/young adults are increasingly able to regulate their own emotions/feelings and internalize these self-regulatory abilities instead of having to rely on others for regulation.
If our basic needs for safety/comfort/connection are not met when we are in the critical stages of development, it is difficult to learn how to regulate our feelings.
For me I'd want to check up on a few of the key words in your question...get some basic definitions for them just to make sure I'm understanding the question...

Quote:
Originally Posted by https://www.alleydog.com/glossary/definition.php?term=Attunement
Attunement describes how reactive a person is to another's emotional needs and moods. A person who is well attuned will respond with appropriate language and behaviors based on another person's emotional state. They are good at recognizing moods and emotions in another person and adapting their own response in accordance.Well attuned parents are important in that they are able to detect what their babies are feeling or thinking and respond appropriately.
or also...
Quote:
Originally Posted by http://www.dictionary.com/browse/attunement
being or bringing into harmony; a feeling of being "at one" with another being
and

Quote:
Originally Posted by https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Emotional_self-regulation
Emotional self-regulation or regulation of emotion is the ability to respond to the ongoing demands of experience with the range of emotions in a manner that is socially tolerable and sufficiently flexible to permit spontaneous reactions as well as the ability to delay spontaneous reactions as needed.
I'm a little confused exactly on "attachment"...are you talking about attachment to your parents/caregivers? I'm assuming that's what you mean here.

And like I said...I think Namazu did a great job of saying what I believe...

But essentially...in my opinion...and please note, this is all my thoughts...I don't have any data to back any of these thoughts up...they're only my theories and such...

But I think in order to develop strong, positive, healthy self regulation...you need strong, positive people in your life early in your childhood as your brain is growing and learning so rapidly...and this needs to come from external places (care takers and other people in your life) because I don't believe we're born with the ability to self regulate (again, this is just my idea...No idea if it's true or not). Self regulation is developed over time (and in fact I don't think it ever stops developing during our lives) and in order to develop in a healthy way...you need to be brought up/taught in healthy ways.
Things like being loved and cared for, being taught honesty and how to share, how to ask for help and to appreciate what you have, that not everything can go your way all the time and how to compromise...these things are core to developing healthy self-regulation in my opinion...these and many other things obviously.

If you grow up in a chaotic environment or with unhealthy care takers...you're very likely to have a life time of poor self regulation. You'll have a hard time controlling and releasing your emotions and actions in acceptable ways.
But if brought up in a healthy environment or with healthy and consistent caretakers...you'll likely have healthy self regulation.
It's not a promise though. I think there's lots of disorders that you can be born with...and no matter how great your family is...you're going to struggle.


I don't know...I'm just rambling lol. I'm too much of a dumb dumb for this stuff.
I'm just going to go with what Namazu said. She said it better! lol
__________________


(((((((MOM)))))))
I Miss You.


Last edited by psychopathetic; 02-23-18 at 07:35 AM..
Reply With Quote
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to psychopathetic For This Useful Post:
Batman55 (02-24-18), Lunacie (02-23-18), namazu (02-23-18)
  #15  
Old 02-23-18, 07:31 AM
namazu's Avatar
namazu namazu is offline
Contrapunctual Moderator
 
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Northern Hemisphere
Posts: 14,411
Thanks: 64,433
Thanked 20,769 Times in 10,448 Posts
namazu has a reputation beyond reputenamazu has a reputation beyond reputenamazu has a reputation beyond reputenamazu has a reputation beyond reputenamazu has a reputation beyond reputenamazu has a reputation beyond reputenamazu has a reputation beyond reputenamazu has a reputation beyond reputenamazu has a reputation beyond reputenamazu has a reputation beyond reputenamazu has a reputation beyond repute
Re: It makes me doubt ADD is real when..

Quote:
Originally Posted by mildadhd View Post
I mentioned this topic as an example in my opening post.
So I am not sure why you are saying that I changed topics?
The title of the thread is "It makes me doubt ADD is real when..."

That suggested to me that you wanted to discuss your reasons for your doubts that ADD is real.

Yes, you did mention self-regulation, but mostly you complained about other people frequently recommending medication and repeated that people discussing medication made you doubt whether ADD is real.

If you primarily wanted to discuss attachment, attunement, and self-regulation (as the "meat" of the thread), it might have been helpful to make that the title of the thread and the focus your OP instead of making repeated statements about how people not wanting to discuss those things and instead recommending medication made you question your ADD.

Be straightforward. If you want to discuss something, just say so directly in your OP. Accusing other people of "lopsided" views and bad faith isn't a great way to draw people into a productive and respectful discussion of a substantive issue.


Quote:
Originally Posted by mildadhd
The fact that I got to pull my hair out, to get people to discuss topics that could determine whether some of people have deficits of self regulation, or possibly reduce some people severity, makes me doubt if taking medication is the right thing do.
I have 3 thoughts on this:

1) I admire and respect your desire to help promote favorable conditions for early childhood development.


2) I am here primarily as an adult with ADHD.

Since I cannot go back in time -- and since I don't think anything related to attachment or attunement in my own early life could have been substantially improved even if I could go back in time -- for my own purposes, all of the attachment/attunement/early childhood development stuff is academic rather than practical.

For me, as an adult with ADHD, that ship has already sailed.

Those issues may be relevant to babies growing up in more challenging environments, sure. Whether or not there are meaningful ways to intervene to improve attachment/attunement that could prevent or reduce the severity of ADHD itself, I honestly don't know. I'm somewhat skeptical, but I'm a generally curious person, and I know enough to know that I don't know everything, so I'm willing to think about it and discuss it.

That said, I don't see how understanding early-childhood attachment and attunement will meaningfully improve my own adult life, which is what I'm (selfishly) mostly here for. ...That, and to support other people who come to ADDF because they are dealing with ADHD that has already developed (generally adults with ADHD and their partners, and parents of kids ages 4+).

Simply understanding early childhood development, attachment, and attunement doesn't give me any clear ideas for how to improve my working memory, my organization, my focus, my tendency to start and not finish projects, my terrible time management, etc. And it doesn't help me help others who are already dealing with ADHD.

While we can discuss hypotheses about causation and ways to intervene before people develop ADHD (or fail to develop self-regulation abilities) -- and I believe that's worthwhile in a big-picture sense -- the reality is that most people come here for help after ADHD symptoms are already present.

Certainly love and support and play can help children (and adults) even after they already have ADHD. But unfortunately, talking about ways to support healthy development during ages 0-4 doesn't immediately help people whose kids are already 12, or adults who are 47, and who are looking for practical suggestions they can implement now. Medication is certainly not the only thing people can do. But for most people it is more practical than inventing a time machine.


3) I don't understand the link between other people's willingness to discuss "topics that could determine whether some of people have deficits of self regulation, or possibly reduce some people severity" and whether or not you, a grown man, should take medication. What connection are you making?
Reply With Quote
The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to namazu For This Useful Post:
aeon (02-23-18), Lunacie (02-23-18), psychopathetic (02-23-18), ToneTone (02-23-18)
Reply

Bookmarks


Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On
Forum Jump

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
You know you have ADD when... *~ §EEK ~* Chit-Chat 2094 08-05-13 02:46 PM
How much is adult ADD; how much is me? healthwiz General ADD Talk 33 08-28-11 12:46 AM


All times are GMT -4. The time now is 08:15 PM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.7.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2018, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
(c) 2003 - 2015 ADD Forums