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  #1  
Old 06-05-19, 09:36 PM
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People bore me to tears

I literally would have to get drunk or smoke myself stupid in order to be on their level!

Y'all should stop being so hard on yourselves if you feel you don't fit in with the cool crowd or don't relate with regular folks, you're probably more interesting than all of them combined anyway!

Last edited by namazu; 06-06-19 at 12:08 AM.. Reason: Please avoid using the r-word, which many people find offensive.
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Old 06-12-19, 01:39 AM
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Re: People bore me to tears

Since you're a very interesting individual, do you ever get bored, or are you able to keep yourself entertained?
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Old 06-12-19, 03:01 AM
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Re: People bore me to tears

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Since you're a very interesting individual
But all of my conversations center around sports, movies and celeb gossip!


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Old 06-12-19, 03:02 AM
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Re: People bore me to tears

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are you able to keep yourself entertained?
After reading this comment, yas!
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Old 06-12-19, 11:00 AM
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Re: People bore me to tears

I don't find it easy to talk to people (especially not crowds) but when I do manage to I often find I enjoy it..unless it's about work..I barely understand my own work. I automatically switch off when someone talks about their work. Or sport. I try to ask questions to.make it more interesting for myself but other people hate explaining why everyone is running behind a silly ball..

It's definitely harder without medication.

There was a time when I found myself interesting and entertaining enough but after forty years the charm does tend to wear off a bit ...
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Old 06-20-19, 04:21 PM
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Re: People bore me to tears

I have been there and done that, and indeed it is tempting. It is a tough challenge to overcome this sense of others being boring.
After a very long and hard struggle I have found that it is not through the mind, but through the heart that I was able to find a renewed appreciation of all those around me.

I learned to appreciate that all these people have a very specific life path that they have chosen to follow in this lifetime, with very specific experiences that they wish to acquire. It is not for me to judge the validity of all these experiences. All that I can do is cherisch them for being.
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Old 12-09-19, 08:49 PM
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Re: People bore me to tears

I find people are interesting in a physiological way , everyone has a story to tell or something weird to share.
People are really strange to be honest, the why they do things is quite intriguing to me. People are super weird ��
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Old 12-15-19, 03:58 AM
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Re: People bore me to tears

I abhor small talk. Cannot stand it.
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Old 12-15-19, 06:14 AM
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Re: People bore me to tears

Everyone has a Story, you just have to delve a little bit past the conventional small talk sometimes.
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Old 12-15-19, 11:46 PM
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Re: People bore me to tears

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Everyone has a Story, you just have to delve a little bit past the conventional small talk sometimes.
My ADHD is the problem. I dislike the small talk because it requires a ton of effort on my part to stay present in the conversation. This causes me a great deal of irritation that I have to pin down to remain socially appropriate. I literally want to scream and run around in circles once the, “Hey, how about this weather...” starts. I’m not kidding or exaggerating. lol

While the weather (or whatever) is being commented on, my brain isn’t just switching off, it’s literally trying to pull me out of the conversation and into never-never land. It goes something like this:

Person: How about this weather? No one expected rai—

My brian: This is boring. This person is boring. I don’t want to hear this. Why won’t they just get to the point. I should jump through this plate glass window and just run and run.

Person: And then the high pressure system and the low pressure—

My brain: I wonder if the protagonist in that movie last night was really in love with that guy. I think she was just using him. Those glasses hanging over the bar look cool in this light. I’m hot. I should take this sweater off. Is it Tuesday, or Wednesday? Is this boring person still talking??! Okay, I’m not going to run through that window, but I am going to excuse myself, yet again.

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Old 12-16-19, 02:53 AM
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Re: People bore me to tears

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I literally would have to get drunk or smoke myself stupid in order to be on their level!

Y'all should stop being so hard on yourselves if you feel you don't fit in with the cool crowd or don't relate with regular folks, you're probably more interesting than all of them combined anyway!
I think we all struggle with this, somewhat. However it is boring in the end,and all do better when we have plenty of people to hang with, and talk to, and more- if we are lucky.
The biggest thing is breaking the ice.
For all the idea that other people are boring, honestly the best times I can remember was when we were at school, and we were monkeying round being silly.
I do not know why this gets so difficult over the years.
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Old 12-16-19, 02:56 AM
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Re: People bore me to tears

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Originally Posted by BouCoupDinkyDau View Post
My ADHD is the problem. I dislike the small talk because it requires a ton of effort on my part to stay present in the conversation. This causes me a great deal of irritation that I have to pin down to remain socially appropriate. I literally want to scream and run around in circles once the, ďHey, how about this weather...Ē starts. Iím not kidding or exaggerating. lol

While the weather (or whatever) is being commented on, my brain isnít just switching off, itís literally trying to pull me out of the conversation and into never-never land. It goes something like this:

Person: How about this weather? No one expected raió

My brian: This is boring. This person is boring. I donít want to hear this. Why wonít they just get to the point. I should jump through this plate glass window and just run and run.

Person: And then the high pressure system and the low pressureó

My brain: I wonder if the protagonist in that movie last night was really in love with that guy. I think she was just using him. Those glasses hanging over the bar look cool in this light. Iím hot. I should take this sweater off. Is it Tuesday, or Wednesday? Is this boring person still talking??! Okay, Iím not going to run through that window, but I am going to excuse myself, yet again.

That boring person is probably desperately thinking "How do I get myself into a more interesting question?".
Its a big question - how do we loosen up and have fun? I know for sure that its not by working out a plan to talk about serious issues all night.
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Old 12-16-19, 06:50 PM
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It's Our Right to be Anti-Social! But We Might Not Be the Best Judge.

Everyone is certainly entitled to his feelings, but why would a person with ADHD--especially one who is not keen on socializing anyway-- consider himself a proper judge of how interesting another person is?

I mean, if you know you have trouble sustaining attention anyway, isn't it more likely that you are missing something--maybe even failing to hold up your end--than that there is something--anything--deficient about that other person you find boring?

And what would a person have to do for you to find him interesting? Do you do any of those things? Are you finding positive things to comment on? Are you asking questions about their history or reasons for saying this or that? Are you looking for interests you might have in common? Are you joking around about whatever's going on? Are you maybe pretty boring, too? Not to mention missing out?

Not that there's any law against being bored--or boring--but owning it might be a step toward seeing what you have in common with your fellow man.
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Old 12-16-19, 09:05 PM
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Re: People bore me to tears

Oh it most certainly is the deficiencies caused by my ADHD that make me find small talk incredibly difficult. And yes, my fear and mistrust of others contribute as well.

I basically avoid social situations as much as possible due to that fear and mistrust, and when I'm obligated to engage in said situations I am already primed to avoid others and/or be prepared to make an escape as soon as someone talks to me.

I can get incredibly awkward, which embarrasses me (and sometimes them too), which makes things even worse for me. I don't understand social cues very well. I don't know how to maintain the flow of a conversation at times or sustain a connection with others. I can't read body language or hidden messages in speech until long after I've talked to the person. I can read facial expressions when directly interacting with someone else, but don't always get them right.

My wife has joked with me over the years (especially when we were younger) because I didn't understand sexual cues. I didn't know when a woman was hitting on me, nor did I when a man tried it. I just thought people liked me and were being friendly. I'm better with that aspect now, but I still don't pick up on it sometimes. "You could have slept with so many girls," she often laughs at me.

So yes, it's more than being bored that is a barrier for me. The person themselves may not be boring, but what they're talking about is. Pedestrian topics do not engage my attention, so I never really get to know anyone in any meaningful way, because let's face it: 99% of our lives is pedestrian.

So I've got this going against me:
1. Fear and mistrust of others (this is mainly due to childhood PTSD and life experience with ppl in general).
2. Social awkwardness and failure to understand social cues.
3. Inattentive ADHD.
4. Disinterest in common and mundane details of other's lives.
5. Also, I'm a natural introvert. I have been since I was a very small child.

* I am a lot better at talking in environments like this than face to face.
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Old 12-17-19, 12:13 AM
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Re: People bore me to tears

Quote:
Originally Posted by BouCoupDinkyDau View Post
My wife has joked with me over the years (especially when we were younger) because I didn't understand sexual cues. I didn't know when a woman was hitting on me, nor did I when a man tried it. I just thought people liked me and were being friendly. I'm better with that aspect now, but I still don't pick up on it sometimes. "You could have slept with so many girls," she often laughs at me.

You see, there IS a good reason for all this small talk
Damn, how frustrating.
I definitely feel your pain there.


Quote:
So yes, it's more than being bored that is a barrier for me. The person themselves may not be boring, but what they're talking about is. Pedestrian topics do not engage my attention, so I never really get to know anyone in any meaningful way, because let's face it: 99% of our lives is pedestrian.

So I've got this going against me:
1. Fear and mistrust of others (this is mainly due to childhood PTSD and life experience with ppl in general).
2. Social awkwardness and failure to understand social cues.
3. Inattentive ADHD.
4. Disinterest in common and mundane details of other's lives.
5. Also, I'm a natural introvert. I have been since I was a very small child.

* I am a lot better at talking in environments like this than face to face.


Its a sign of social degeneration that small talk has devolved so badly:
Back in the good old days:





We clearly have a duty to see to it that the standard of social discourse is raised- for our own sakes if nothing else.

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