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Old 04-09-17, 08:53 AM
Olivia40 Olivia40 is offline
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Need advice regarding teacher

My son is 8 years old and he has been diagnosed with adhd and anxiety , he is also been tested for dyslexia. He is in grade 2. He goes to special education class every day for about an hour. I just started him on 10mg of biphentin.

He tells me the teacher is always screaming and it upsets him and it makes his anxiety worse. He gets frustrated with the work so he never completes it.
I would like to write a note to the teacher but I do not want to come off as accusing or blaming. Or one of those "mom's" who take things and make them mountains , kwim? What would be the best approach with this?

Thanks.
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Old 04-09-17, 03:19 PM
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Re: Need advice regarding teacher

Maybe the teacher is screaming.

Maybe by any objective standard the teacher is not screaming at all, but is saying such things, or in such a way, that your son feels very bad when he hears it.

I'm immature and oversensitive. I'm 47 years old and I act like early 20s. Your son is immature and oversensitive as well, guaranteed. Most likely he feels emotionally like he's about 5 or 6. (Depending on him, his ability to speak maturely and to "behave himself" MAY even be ahead of his age - but not the emotion part.)
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Old 04-09-17, 03:31 PM
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Re: Need advice regarding teacher

Go and talk to the teacher in person.
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Old 04-10-17, 09:32 AM
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Re: Need advice regarding teacher

Quote:
Originally Posted by Olivia40 View Post
My son is 8 years old and he has been diagnosed with adhd and anxiety , he is also been tested for dyslexia. He is in grade 2. He goes to special education class every day for about an hour. I just started him on 10mg of biphentin.

He tells me the teacher is always screaming and it upsets him and it makes his anxiety worse. He gets frustrated with the work so he never completes it.
I would like to write a note to the teacher but I do not want to come off as accusing or blaming. Or one of those "mom's" who take things and make them mountains , kwim? What would be the best approach with this?

Thanks.
Had a similar report from my second grader. Mrs. XYZ screams at me for no reason, and she is SOOO mean. It turned out it was both true and not true.

It was true that the teacher was very nice the first time my daughter asked to go get a drink, go to the bathroom, go to her book bag, got up to tell the teacher that her dog died 2 years ago or some other random fact that had no relevance in that moment....etc.....teacher was firm/a.k.a "screaming" at about round 7 or 8 of random things my daughter was doing because she wouldn't/couldn't sit still and do her work.

Never got a back up report that the teacher was "screaming" but did get corroboration from another teacher that my daughter had to be told NO in a firm way for her to sit and do her work or she spent the whole class coming up with 100 excuses to not do her work and in general disrupt the class.
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Old 04-10-17, 12:51 PM
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Re: Need advice regarding teacher

Tone makes a huge difference to kids. Tone and volume. Some teachers are naturally loud so it seems like they are screaming. Some teachers emphasize the negatives so that the child misses the correction that is wanted, so they hear only what they are doing wrong and none of what they are doing right. I would either call the teacher or even better, meet with her, Eye eye leaves no room for interpretation.
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Old 04-10-17, 10:58 PM
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Re: Need advice regarding teacher

As others say, it might be her tone ... Look there are some voices that if I had to listen to them all day, I would freak out myself ... and feel tortured and uncomfortable. Just a random dumb thing: some voices are annoying to different individuals.

I had a teacher that I just didn't like in second grade. She wasn't mean ... but she just had this cold manner that I couldn't stand. My mother came to school and talked to the teacher. The school and my mom offered me a chance to transfer to someone else's class ... For some reason I said no, I'll stay in the same class.

I then got along fabulously with that teacher.

I can't tell you what changed ... other than that my mother came to school to talk to the teacher and the principal. I think I felt recognized by the simple chance to transfer out of this class ... and I then apparently made an adjustment to the teacher and I gave her a chance ... .and perhaps she made a subtle adjustment to me as well. She ended up being one of my favorite teachers from elementary school.

In your child's case, it could be as something as his teacher talks really fast ... or encourages him too fast (he feels a lot of pressure) ... or the teacher might just use a bad tone ... teachers can go through bad periods of their lives and sometimes don't contain the emotional pain.

... Or as others say, the teacher could be screaming.

In any case, you really do (affirmative) want to use the word "screaming." Because using another word won't convey how uncomfortable your child is ... Don't worry about insulting the teacher. If she is any good, she'll be happy to get this feedback so she can make an adjustment and make your child comfortable and able to get on with the task of learning and liking school. If she's any good, she'll really emotionally reach out to your child to reassure him that she likes him and wants the best for him. That little act there can make a huge difference.

And this can also be educational for your child in figuring how what makes him comfortable and uncomfortable and in finding the right language to describe interactions ... You can be relaxed (as strange as that sounds) and simply go talk to the teacher. The teacher will quite appreciate it, because she's gonna be held accountable for how your son performs and if there is a disconnect like this, she'll want to clear it up.

Good luck.

Tone
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Old 04-12-17, 02:26 AM
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Re: Need advice regarding teacher

I agree on some comments, first go and talk to the teacher in person and tell all your concerns about your child. After that you must consider also the tone of voice that maybe the tone of voice of the teacher is quite normal that a child suspects that the teacher is screaming. Coz 1 quality of being a teacher is she/he must have loud and clear voice that all the children can hear.
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Old 07-04-17, 06:06 AM
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Re: Need advice regarding teacher

Sometimes sensitive kids can hear a strident voice and it comes across as screaming to them. I know my kid is very sensitive. But I take very seriously her comments about not feeling comfortable in class. His feelings are real whether or not the teacher is actually screaming. I hope you went to talk with her. I think acknowledging his feelings is really important, but I know what you mean about not wanting to be THAT mom who is always contacting the teacher (that's me for sure....). But your his champion and there to help him so so what if you are persistent. Then the teacher will know that you care and might look out for your kid that much more! Good luck!
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Old 07-09-17, 05:47 AM
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Re: Need advice regarding teacher

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Originally Posted by kikicologne View Post
Sometimes sensitive kids can hear a strident voice and it comes across as screaming to them. I know my kid is very sensitive. But I take very seriously her comments about not feeling comfortable in class. His feelings are real whether or not the teacher is actually screaming. I hope you went to talk with her. I think acknowledging his feelings is really important, but I know what you mean about not wanting to be THAT mom who is always contacting the teacher (that's me for sure....). But your his champion and there to help him so so what if you are persistent. Then the teacher will know that you care and might look out for your kid that much more! Good luck!
I say go ahead and be "that" mom who is in touch with the teacher regularly. we are the ones who protect and guide our kids and we have every right to let that carry over into other important areas and other important relationships. As long as you are firm yet nice and willing to compromise, I dont see how a teacher would get upset with you. I imagine teachers might like to work as a team with parents.
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Old 07-10-17, 01:53 PM
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Re: Need advice regarding teacher

BE THAT PARENT!

I can't tell you how many emails I have received over the years from teachers that had the general gist of "Well, I was going to send him to the office but since you are an involved parent I thought maybe you could handle it at home."....it has saved MANY visits to the office, many days of ISS, and really I want to know whats going on anyway so I encourage all the teachers to email me if they have an issue they think I can help with.
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