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  #31  
Old 08-03-17, 10:12 AM
Caco3girl Caco3girl is offline
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Re: My 14 Year Old Son has just been diagnosed.....advice

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Originally Posted by Mom2tnx View Post
That's all good and all, but you all have to understand that this is not black and white for most. Please allow newbies to have grey areas and figure out what works best for their child all while coming onto the forum and asking questions, seeking advice, etc. Newbies should not be made to feel as though this is a one dimensional illness. There are many different factors and every child is different. It's easy to shout "we've been there, done that".....but it's nice to step outside of your personal experience and see things from another persons perspective. Thank you
You are coming from a different place than most of us. Your kid was not failing all his classes, was not kicked out of several schools for behavior issues, was able to relate to others socially, and was coordinated enough to play sports. For MANY of us one, or more, of these things was happening to our child, or us.

Can you put yourself in our shoes? I sat at work crying from the 10th phone call that week about my son....actually crying because he isn't a bad kid he just does crazy non destructive things that the school won't allow. He's failing every class, he's in in school suspension weekly, the phone calls won't stop and I'm trying everything to be a good mom but he's slipping through the cracks, I'm failing as a parent, he will NEVER have a good job, never graduate high school, oh my God will someone please help me....and then he started ADHD meds, and my life, his life, our whole families lives changed.

When you find a miracle you share it. You didn't need a miracle which is why we aren't on the same page.
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  #32  
Old 08-03-17, 11:10 AM
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Re: My 14 Year Old Son has just been diagnosed.....advice

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Originally Posted by Mom2tnx View Post
But the thing is that I did not ask about treatment. And just because I did not ask about treatment doesn't mean that I'm not treating him. It's crazy to make that assumption. I asked for advice on getting my son to understand his diagnosis, perhaps a support group (I see that this forum has something for teens), etc. I was hoping that perhaps some parents would have some ideas.....this wasn't about whether to medicate or not. Or what approach I should take in addressing his diagnosis. I'm sure that folks are eager to share their knowledge. I'm thankful for the advice I've received thus far.
Sorry, if it appeared i was implying that your son was not receiving treatment.

I am not familiar with the teen or groups section here at ADDForums.

I was getting caught up with my own agenda in the off topic debate.

I think it is great that he decided he wants to discuss things with a psychiatrist, that's a pretty big step, in regards to learning more about himself.






M
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Last edited by mildadhd; 08-03-17 at 11:22 AM..
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  #33  
Old 08-03-17, 11:18 AM
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Re: My 14 Year Old Son has just been diagnosed.....advice

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Originally Posted by mildadhd View Post
Hi Mom2tnx

I understand your frustration, and I take ADHD medication.

Imagine going to a forum meant to discuss about different types of treatment for different types of diabetes, and being being told the only treatment option to discuss about is insulin.

Even if your doctor does not recommend insulin.

I really appreciate ADDForums, my issue is not with the creators moderatoring of this forum, it's the one demensional medication only treatment approach by some members that can be bewildering.

If your son is happy, maybe he will be more interested in learning about ADHD when he gets older?

It's great that you are learning now, to possibly help him if he finds himself struggling or interned, in the future?






M
I have never seen members of this forum tell anyone that meds are the ONLY
treatment option for adhd.

It did seem that way to me at first, but in time I realized that what they were
actually saying is that treatment with meds is the only treatment that has
good research results to back up their effectiveness, safe long term results,
and the majority have found them to be effective.

Nothing else compares to the effectiveness of stimulant meds in treating this
disorder. So why not start with what has been proven to work safely in most
patients with adhd?

Maybe because there is still a stigma around mental disorders and treatments
for them? There is very little stigma to the illness of diabetes or the need to
use insulin to treat it.

We certainly do have members who post about alternative treatments that
have worked well for them but simply don't work as well for as many others.
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  #34  
Old 08-03-17, 11:25 AM
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Re: My 14 Year Old Son has just been diagnosed.....advice

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Originally Posted by Lunacie View Post
I have never seen members of this forum tell anyone that meds are the ONLY
treatment option for adhd.

It did seem that way to me at first, but in time I realized that what they were
actually saying is that treatment with meds is the only treatment that has
good research results to back up their effectiveness, safe long term results,
and the majority have found them to be effective.

Nothing else compares to the effectiveness of stimulant meds in treating this
disorder. So why not start with what has been proven to work safely in most
patients with adhd?

Maybe because there is still a stigma around mental disorders and treatments
for them? There is very little stigma to the illness of diabetes or the need to
use insulin to treat it.

We certainly do have members who post about alternative treatments that
have worked well for them but simply don't work as well for as many others.
Sorry I was off thread discussion topic.





M
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  #35  
Old 08-03-17, 11:30 AM
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Re: My 14 Year Old Son has just been diagnosed.....advice

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Originally Posted by mildadhd View Post
Sorry I was of thread discussion topic





M


You post about that, but then chastize me for responding to your post.

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  #36  
Old 08-03-17, 11:38 AM
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Re: My 14 Year Old Son has just been diagnosed.....advice

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Originally Posted by Lunacie View Post


You post about that, but then chastize me for responding to your post.

I reread the thread this morning and I was off topic.

If you want to discuss a different topic start a new thread.


M
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  #37  
Old 08-03-17, 12:55 PM
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Re: My 14 Year Old Son has just been diagnosed.....advice

Quote:
Originally Posted by mildadhd View Post
I reread the thread this morning and I was off topic.

If you want to discuss a different topic start a new thread.


M
I don't agree that discussing medication along with other treatments is off-topic.
The OP herself mentioned being resistant to meds without explaining why she
has this opinion. Naturally some of us were curious about that and wanted to
share some of our own opinions on medication.
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  #38  
Old 08-04-17, 07:50 AM
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Re: My 14 Year Old Son has just been diagnosed.....advice

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Originally Posted by Caco3girl View Post
You are coming from a different place than most of us. Your kid was not failing all his classes, was not kicked out of several schools for behavior issues, was able to relate to others socially, and was coordinated enough to play sports. For MANY of us one, or more, of these things was happening to our child, or us.

Can you put yourself in our shoes? I sat at work crying from the 10th phone call that week about my son....actually crying because he isn't a bad kid he just does crazy non destructive things that the school won't allow. He's failing every class, he's in in school suspension weekly, the phone calls won't stop and I'm trying everything to be a good mom but he's slipping through the cracks, I'm failing as a parent, he will NEVER have a good job, never graduate high school, oh my God will someone please help me....and then he started ADHD meds, and my life, his life, our whole families lives changed.

When you find a miracle you share it. You didn't need a miracle which is why we aren't on the same page.
I am truly so sorry for what you're going through. I can only imagine....I went through a really rough time when my son was around 4-5 years old. It's heartbreaking as a parent to face any type of challenge with your children. We all want them to be healthy, happy and prosperous! I posted this thread seeking a bit of advice and support for my particular situation but I'd never want to come across as dismissive of others situation.
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  #39  
Old 08-04-17, 11:51 AM
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Re: My 14 Year Old Son has just been diagnosed.....advice

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Originally Posted by Mom2tnx View Post
I am truly so sorry for what you're going through. I can only imagine....I went through a really rough time when my son was around 4-5 years old. It's heartbreaking as a parent to face any type of challenge with your children. We all want them to be healthy, happy and prosperous! I posted this thread seeking a bit of advice and support for my particular situation but I'd never want to come across as dismissive of others situation.
He's better now, has 3.3 GPA, and ISS was down to only 6 days last year, all of it for stupid impulsive stuff that would have been fine outside of school. He has improved greatly and is a MUCH happier person. I told you all that to explain why we all jumped on the medicate him bandwagon, which frustrated you, and I wanted you to know where we were coming from.

Many kids on this site were much worse off than my son, medicating our kids ADHD...well I'm not exaggerating when I say it altered the course of their lives for the better. You have every right to choose your sons path, we just are all so relieved our kids have a chance at life now that the thought of not medicating them...well we didn't want your kid to have the problems our kids had. My son actually told a teacher he was too stupid for school and he was going to drop out after 10th grade, when he legally could. YOUR kid isn't having these problems, but many of us thought of our kids. Hope that makes sense.
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