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  #31  
Old 08-14-17, 10:20 PM
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Re: How to handle a controlling coworker

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Originally Posted by sarahsweets View Post
Since she has been there a long time, is all this up your as* stuff fairly new? Or is it something that happened over time?
I've actually been here longer than she has. My coworker says that it's because I question things. I think it's a fairly new thing.
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Old 08-15-17, 08:33 AM
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Re: How to handle a controlling coworker

Yesterday she told me that I had to be logged into a particular website that we use to communicate with prospective customers. This seemed crazy to me. It seems like the expectations are not written in stone and are constantly changing. I don't know how to handle this.
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  #33  
Old 08-15-17, 02:32 PM
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Re: How to handle a controlling coworker

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Yesterday she told me that I had to be logged into a particular website that we use to communicate with prospective customers. This seemed crazy to me. It seems like the expectations are not written in stone and are constantly changing. I don't know how to handle this.
Welcome to the dynamic workplace! Expectations and protocols often do change, and as employees, we're expected to adapt. ADHD doesn't always make that easy.

In the years I've been associated with my current place (in different capacities), the systems for things like submitting timesheets, submitting receipts for travel reimbursement, setting up purchase orders, and even the e-mail system have changed multiple times. Sometimes the changes make things more efficient; sometimes they...well, let's just say they don't. And the changeover from one system to another can be a real bear.

Unless there's more to the story, it doesn't sound crazy to me that you're expected to log into a system for communicating with prospective customers when you're communicating with prospective customers.

When you say you don't know how to handle this, what do you mean?

Your pseudo-boss has informed you of the expectations, so now (since they're not unethical or immoral) you follow them.

Does the new system record your phone calls ("for transparency purposes")? Is the system just a pain in some way? What about this expectation bothers you?

If you have trouble remembering, leave yourself some kind of note. If you feel like you could/should have known about this earlier (e.g. all your colleagues were aware), but you didn't, you could tell your pseudo-boss that it would help if she sent you new protocols in writing so that you can be sure to implement them.

If you feel like having to log into the system is actually hindering your sales performance (say, if it cuts off phone calls, or is a major distraction), it seems reasonable to let her (or maybe your friendlier higher-up bosses) know that, since it has an adverse effect on your job performance. But it needs to be done tactfully'strategically, in a way that indicates you're looking out for the best interests of the company/your customers.
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Old 08-15-17, 03:48 PM
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Re: How to handle a controlling coworker

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Originally Posted by anonymouslyadd View Post
I've actually been here longer than she has. My coworker says that it's because I question things. I think it's a fairly new thing.
So just out of the blue she decided to start picking on you? Do you think your boss said something like" keep an eye on him and let me know how he's doing" (or whats he's up to, hows his work, does he understand things)
Maybe you do question things and she feels threatened. Maybe she feels like you should understand the way things go by now. I guess to play devil's advocate, I'd be bothered by a fellow employee questioning me, and I'd probably throw it right back at them. Its just not adding up to me.
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  #35  
Old 08-15-17, 03:58 PM
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Re: How to handle a controlling coworker

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Originally Posted by anonymouslyadd View Post
Yesterday she told me that I had to be logged into a particular website that we use to communicate with prospective customers. This seemed crazy to me. It seems like the expectations are not written in stone and are constantly changing. I don't know how to handle this.
Look, you know I am blunt so forgive me if it sounds harsh. Go to your real boss and tell him whats going on. Make sure its clear who you have to listen to AND that you know all the protocols for interacting with customers, the order and steps work has to be done in and all that. Ask him if she has any say over your performance and evaluations. Make sure you here it from the boss how things are supposed to be done, and what you are specifically supposed to do. Then when she has something to say to you about how you are doing things you can say" Really? Let me double check with Mr. Boss" or "I was told differently, I was told it has to be done xyz way" Or if she's right which I would think is the case more often than not, say thanks and move on. At this point its not about it being her fault or about her picking on you. Its not about whether she is right or not. Its about the stress you have over work. It doesnt matter if in the past you have used your personal funds or times to do things for your customers-it has to end. It doesnt matter if you have always done it one way- do it her or the boss's way. You are spending way too much time on this whole thing and the only way to fix it is to change your own behavior.
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  #36  
Old 08-15-17, 10:37 PM
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Re: How to handle a controlling coworker

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Originally Posted by namazu View Post
Welcome to the dynamic workplace! Expectations and protocols often do change, and as employees, we're expected to adapt. ADHD doesn't always make that easy.

In the years I've been associated with my current place (in different capacities), the systems for things like submitting timesheets, submitting receipts for travel reimbursement, setting up purchase orders, and even the e-mail system have changed multiple times. Sometimes the changes make things more efficient; sometimes they...well, let's just say they don't. And the changeover from one system to another can be a real bear.

Unless there's more to the story, it doesn't sound crazy to me that you're expected to log into a system for communicating with prospective customers when you're communicating with prospective customers.
Let me explain. I actually don't have to use that website anymore! I got one of the other sales guys to suggest that I handle our web chat, and he'll handle the one I struggled with.
Quote:
When you say you don't know how to handle this, what do you mean?
I think I was unsure what to do when I felt like the expectations weren't clear.
Quote:
Does the new system record your phone calls ("for transparency purposes")? Is the system just a pain in some way? What about this expectation bothers you?
The website doesn't update automatically and has no mechanism for notifying you when a new message arrives. It just appears, without warning. That was the hardest part. I had a hard time using the website, and thank God I won't have to anymore.
Quote:
If you have trouble remembering, leave yourself some kind of note. If you feel like you could/should have known about this earlier (e.g. all your colleagues were aware), but you didn't, you could tell your pseudo-boss that it would help if she sent you new protocols in writing so that you can be sure to implement them.
The task feature on my iPad has been amazing at setting regular reminders to help me remember to check certain things. Regarding the idea to get things in writing, sometimes she follows through with things in writing and other times she doesn't.
Quote:
If you feel like having to log into the system is actually hindering your sales performance (say, if it cuts off phone calls, or is a major distraction), it seems reasonable to let her (or maybe your friendlier higher-up bosses) know that, since it has an adverse effect on your job performance. But it needs to be done tactfully'strategically, in a way that indicates you're looking out for the best interests of the company/your customers.
I had her favorite guy in our group write an email to her suggesting that I stop using the clunky website and use the web chat instead. This is fantastic and will help me get more sales.
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Old 08-15-17, 10:43 PM
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Re: How to handle a controlling coworker

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Originally Posted by sarahsweets View Post
So just out of the blue she decided to start picking on you? Do you think your boss said something like" keep an eye on him and let me know how he's doing" (or whats he's up to, hows his work, does he understand things)
Maybe you do question things and she feels threatened. Maybe she feels like you should understand the way things go by now. I guess to play devil's advocate, I'd be bothered by a fellow employee questioning me, and I'd probably throw it right back at them. Its just not adding up to me.
I believe upper management likes me. I was one of the people they kept after our company reorganization.

What changed my relationship with my pseudo-boss was the time that I called a meeting without her knowing. Because I was under the impression that she wasn't my real boss, I didn't think she needed to be involved. I think she was very offended by that, and things haven't been the same since. I explained myself well and was honest about what happened. It didn't matter.

I think she needs to have things orderly and under control in her realm, or she becomes anxious.
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Old 08-15-17, 10:54 PM
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Re: How to handle a controlling coworker

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I got heart palpitations just reading through this.

I would be a nervous wreck all of the time. I am extremely impressed with how you are handling all of this. I can let people take up ALL of my head space and can become really messed up. No one can see so no one knows but it is very difficult for me.

Good luck.
I'm lucky that I enjoy what I do. Otherwise, I would experience those heart palpitations all over again. That's what happened when I was working at the manufacturing facility.
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Re: How to handle a controlling coworker

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I think she needs to have things orderly and under control in her realm, or she becomes anxious.
I think you do, too.
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  #40  
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Re: How to handle a controlling coworker

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I think you do, too.
I certainly do.
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Re: How to handle a controlling coworker

One of the problems that I've had at this place is not having the right amount of training. To compensate, I've called our customer service people and asked them for help. The pseudo-boss doesn't like that, and she's not the only one.

In the evenings, sometimes I'm by myself without anyone to go to if I need help. I've noticed that my pseudo-boss doesn't answer her cell phone when I call her. She answers text but not the calls. I asked my coworker tonight, and he said that she answers his calls. Am I looking for something to be upset about?

It's infuriating. It's infuriating to not have people available when I need help, and then when I try to get the help I need on my own, I get push back for it. I'm sick of this ****.
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