Getting family history from deadbeat dad?

[MindBlind]

So I read someone’s account of living with a bipolar parent and the way she described her own father was a lot like mine. My father would have inexplicably jubilant phases where he would be super motivated and sometimes a bit grandiose. He would joke around and be silly and often the jokes went too far and he would need prompting from my mother to let it go. He was also sometimes very reclusive and despondent, wanting to be left alone with his thoughts and wallowing in his own sadness. Worst of all was when he would become irritable and paranoid to the point where we were always walking on eggshells around him.

My mum mentioned that he was arrested as a teenager and apparently his behaviour was so disruptive in prison that he had to be put on antipsychotic medication. It’s unclear if he actually suffered from psychosis or if he was drugged to sedate him, but what is clear is that these were antipsychotics.

He has a history of substance abuse and has even stolen my anxiety medication on occasion. He would self medicate with anything that would calm his nerves, so his go-to drugs were alcohol and cannabis whenever he needed to wind down. Granted, heavy cannabis use could have contributed to his paranoia, but honestly it’s hard to say because he was always unpredictable no matter what.

I don’t have any contact with my dad and I don’t ever intend to, but I don’t know if I should maybe start looking into that family history more. Honestly, given his childhood, he could have a personality disorder or some other condition (if any at all) but if he is bipolar or bipolar runs in his family (which I don’t know) then that’s something my psychiatrist needs to know.

I don’t want anything to do with him or his family, but this info could be important down the line. What do you guys think?

[sarahsweets]

I think rather than put yourself in the position for trauma or to get upset you should leave him out of it. Just assume there is a mental health issue and tell your doctor everything you shared here. I would bet the farm there is a mental illness but symptoms will help the doctor determine if any of them indicate something. You know in your heart that it wasnt a normal way to live and that he didnt cope right or live right. You do not need him to confirm or worse deny this.

[MindBlind]

Originally Posted by sarahsweets

I think rather than put yourself in the position for trauma or to get upset you should leave him out of it. Just assume there is a mental health issue and tell your doctor everything you shared here. I would bet the farm there is a mental illness but symptoms will help the doctor determine if any of them indicate something. You know in your heart that it wasnt a normal way to live and that he didnt cope right or live right. You do not need him to confirm or worse deny this.

I suppose I’ve always been afraid of turning out like him, which maybe goes far beyond a bipolar diagnosis. I wouldn’t say I was traumatised but my childhood was somewhat dysfunctional, in part because of his behaviours. He was the one that eventually walked out and didn’t try to keep in touch, so it’s not like I intentionally cut him off, though I do intend to keep it that way.

I have mentioned family history before, including all these red flags, but my doctor doesn’t seem to think it’s idicative of bipolar. Perhaps they are afraid to misdiagnose me based on such information, especially since I have other comorbidities and I function fairly well. Understandably, my doctor doesn’t want to throw drugs at the problem, especially if the symptoms could be better explained by my ADHD and autism. I respect that and I’m glad that I can trust my doctor to be rigorous about this stuff. Still, I can’t help but see those massive red flags from my past and wonder if I should do something sooner rather than later.

I am now on the highest permitable dose of my current antidepressant and right now I’m keeping an eye on what happens next. Hopefully I won’t need to switch meds again, but if I do I hope that means they start to look into bipolar because, honestly, the meds scare me and I don’t want to end up in a place where I don’t have any choice but to take lithium. Of course, that can’t necessarily be avoided but I’d rather know for sure that I don’t have it or be prepared if I do.