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Old 01-17-19, 06:01 PM
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Unhappy Struggle with applying for jobs

I struggle with applying for jobs and it's getting worse. Because my work history is all of the place- teaching, non-profits and nursing, I do a custom cover letter for every job. I have to try and tie everything up for HR or whoever reads them.

I have low confidence in my writing skills so it takes me a long time and I've rewritten the whole thing when it's all said and done.

I'm still applying to jobs on the edges of healthcare/nursing, in places where I think I could be successful but honestly applying for anything in that field gives me such anxiety and I so lack confidence in myself during the writing the cover letter, it's excruciating.

It's about also my pattern of what happens when I get a new job. I don't want to go through the same scenario again in a new setting with new people. I look good on paper, interview well and I'm in my late 40's so I've been in the workforce for years and years so that sets the expectations. It often does not help me in the end that I am friendly and basically outgoing

The pattern:

I get the job and do well in the beginning and then at some point, still in the early phase, things start to go downhill. I get terribly embarrassed, self-esteem tanks, become so self-conscience in front of my manager(s) as I know they are thinking/saying WTF happened with her and I've made more work for them so I try to dodge them whenever possible. If my co-workers are effected I just want to quit and feel beyond terrible. If it doesn't effect them but they start treating me differently and/or talking about me, the self condemnation is very bad. Yet at the same time, I am mad at them (all hidden, of course) as I am thinking, why are you treating me differently/poorly? This doesn't effect you at all. Do you think that what is wrong with me is catching?

I can't even fathom treating people differently/poorly based on performance. When I see other people like me or when something not good is going on, I am nicer and make a point to treat them better.

Well, I better get back to struggling with my cover letter. Thank you for listening.
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Old 01-18-19, 07:36 AM
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Re: Struggle with applying for jobs

Quote:
Originally Posted by finallyfound10 View Post
I struggle with applying for jobs and it's getting worse. Because my work history is all of the place- teaching, non-profits and nursing, I do a custom cover letter for every job. I have to try and tie everything up for HR or whoever reads them.

I have low confidence in my writing skills so it takes me a long time and I've rewritten the whole thing when it's all said and done.

I'm still applying to jobs on the edges of healthcare/nursing, in places where I think I could be successful but honestly applying for anything in that field gives me such anxiety and I so lack confidence in myself during the writing the cover letter, it's excruciating.

It's about also my pattern of what happens when I get a new job. I don't want to go through the same scenario again in a new setting with new people. I look good on paper, interview well and I'm in my late 40's so I've been in the workforce for years and years so that sets the expectations. It often does not help me in the end that I am friendly and basically outgoing

The pattern:

I get the job and do well in the beginning and then at some point, still in the early phase, things start to go downhill. I get terribly embarrassed, self-esteem tanks, become so self-conscience in front of my manager(s) as I know they are thinking/saying WTF happened with her and I've made more work for them so I try to dodge them whenever possible. If my co-workers are effected I just want to quit and feel beyond terrible. If it doesn't effect them but they start treating me differently and/or talking about me, the self condemnation is very bad. Yet at the same time, I am mad at them (all hidden, of course) as I am thinking, why are you treating me differently/poorly? This doesn't effect you at all. Do you think that what is wrong with me is catching?

I can't even fathom treating people differently/poorly based on performance. When I see other people like me or when something not good is going on, I am nicer and make a point to treat them better.

Well, I better get back to struggling with my cover letter. Thank you for listening.
I havent had to apply for a job in a long time but I do have an English Lit degree and am excellent at selling the positive attributes of others. If you ever want me to look something over send me a pm.
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