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Old 09-13-18, 04:53 PM
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How do you deal with those who just don't understand?

I was talking to a case manager I work with, and a lady from a group I attend about how I'm really struggling right now in life doing small (and big!) things.
I have a new mattress and box spring that's been sitting in my living room for like 3 weeks now...meanwhile my bed I'm using is horrible...there's a bunch of holes in it and there's a couple of springs now poking through that really hurt when I sit.
And even further how the mattress is starting to fall off my box spring and and so I'm only able to use about half the mattress lol.
Or how I need new tubing for my oxygen (not cpap)...and all I have to do is make a simple call for that.
Or how there's a stupid backpack on my pathway between my bed and bedroom door that I keep walking over...when all it takes is bending down and moving it.
And how I'm having difficulty keeping my place picked up again...or getting my laundry done...just on and on and on.

I explained that I'm not the only person that has these kinds of difficulties...keeping up with all the small things in life...and that I wasn't trying to make an excuse...but I think it's part of my disorder.
I told them that I WANT to do change these things, and I think about them almost daily...and that I'm just not sure why I don't...

My case manager just scoffed very lightly under his breath...got up, and left the room. He didn't say anything as he left...but he didn't need to. I could FEEL his frustration and judgment.
He's VERY much so got an attitude of "just get **** done and stop making excuses". He also use the term "self victimizing" a lot. And he's used that on me quite a lot over the past year. How I self victimize myself...and that's exactly what I think he feels about me right now. How I'm putting myself in these situations and victimizing myself, and also that I just need to stop being so freaking lazy and stop making excuses and just get **** done and taken care of.
I get a very strong feeling from him that he thinks I'm just being stupid and oppositional and childish and spoiled.

And I don't know.
I really feel hurt by it today. Frustrated, angry, sad.
I don't mean to be a bad person. I don't mean to be so f'ing behind in everything...I don't mean to be so f'ing lazy.
And here's this mental health professional that is without saying it out loud...is giving me all these hints that, that's just it...I'm being "bad", and I that I need to learn to behave myself or something.

And...though I don't even really like this guy anymore (I could make a very long thread on all the frustrations I've had wih this guy over he past year.)

But I still feel a desire to please him...to be good enough for him...to be hat 'champ' for him. Like the kinds of things I feel with my dad.

I don't know how to deal with him. I've never dealt with anyone who has been so judging of me...and whether I like it or not, he is a big part of my life for now.

He refuses to try and understand me. He doesn't get it at all.

Or maybe I'm the one in the wrong? Maybe these kinds of things (falling behind on a bunch of simple things in life) isn't a shared thing among those with add?
Am I just making excuses? I'll tell you for dam sure...the whole "Just do it!" and "get your lazy *** up and just do what you need to freaking do!" stuff just does NOT work for me. Is that bad of me? Childish?

I'm very frustrated. I almost felt like crying when he walked out on me. I could feel his eye rolling at me and his disgust in me..

**** him.

How do you deal with a guy like that?

...Thank you for letting me vent.
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  #2  
Old 09-13-18, 06:03 PM
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Re: How do you deal with those who just don't understand?

I'm so sorry, Psycho. I understand what you are going through because many times in the past I have felt this way. There are hard seasons in which things do not go as we want. My question is, are you taking stimulants? because you are describing my life when I do not take them. Always below expectations, leaving things for another day ...

Start with something small, for example, change the mattress. Many times the hardest thing is to start doing things. Propose a simple goal and rest when you finish it. Go putting goals every day until you get an inertia, inertia is very important, and I see you with a negative one, but don't worry. Change costs but it is not impossible. Start with little. I would like to help you more but I do not know all your history. I hope you understand me.
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Old 09-13-18, 06:22 PM
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Re: How do you deal with those who just don't understand?

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Originally Posted by benito View Post
My question is, are you taking stimulants? because you are describing my life when I do not take them.
I am.../sigh...they really worked well when I first got on a good dose. Then after a year or 2 they stopped doing much of anything that I noticed. So I quit them.
A year later I started them again.
Again...they worked well for me...I really started to get things done.
But recently over the last couple of months...they're yet again just not doing much for me again.
It's very frustrating. And I'm all ready taking the max dose my pill lady is willing to prescribe me.

I feel like I'm just really freaking lazy. I mean...if meds can't even help, what else can it be? Grrrr!

I am making some very big changes in my life...big things. It's just all these dang small things. The easy things. Super simple things.
They're all freaking adding up.
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Old 09-13-18, 06:33 PM
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Re: How do you deal with those who just don't understand?

It is possible that you will benefit from making breaks in your medication. For example, on weekends. It seems that your tolerance increases very fast. Maybe this would help, but I guess you've already tried it. What do you think? Adding an antidepressant like Wellbutrin could help you? I speak from ignorance, I already tell you that I do not know all your history, but I would like to help you.
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Old 09-13-18, 06:46 PM
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Re: How do you deal with those who just don't understand?

Seriously? he walked out on you?no explanation?no bye? How rude. if he's got such perfect self control he should control his judgment and at least be civil.

I think you need to talk to him. Ask him what he thinks and tell him thst yoi are feeling judged and misunderstood. I'm not sure what the role of a case worker is but ik wondering if hisbehavioir ajd your relationship might mean zhat yoi need a new case worker if he csnt change. If that's a possibility at all.
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Old 09-13-18, 06:48 PM
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Re: How do you deal with those who just don't understand?

(((((((Bensy-Bens)))))))

I do take a mood stabilizer, and it does help a TON (keeps my mood from dropping too low)...though I suspect I could use a dose adjustment.

Is it possible to have like a low grade depression...even if I don't feel it all the time? I know that depression over this past year has played a big role in a lot of things in my life (my mom...my best friend...passed away last may).
But, like today...I don't feel a bit depressed at all.

These sorts of things aren't new in my life either. I've struggled ever since I can remember doing all the small things in life.
I miss having my mom around as she helped with a TON of things. Keeping track of and making appointments for me, taking me to the grocery store, helping me with my laundry...all sorts of small things. She was always there in the background of my life.
It's been tough having to do this whole "adult" thing without her. Doesn't help that I lost my dad as well in the past year (he moved to a city 550 miles away).

I plan on becoming employed here shortly...maybe that will help turn things around for me. I tend to get stuck in these 'funks' in life. Maybe a job will jolt me out of this current funk.

I also have a lady that's going to start coming to my apartment to help me clean it starting in october...so there is hope yet!
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Old 09-14-18, 01:44 PM
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Re: How do you deal with those who just don't understand?

so, I'm going to say this regardless of the post at hand. not that what you said doesn't have any merit, we all have to search are feelings and talk/write things out(btw I need to get my english done!). this is longer than I'd like, but I think this will answer a lot of questions for you psychopathetic

I think there is a much deeper issue that I've recently figured out, I was talking to the PHD at the college I go to about, well, smart/intelligent people. ya it's one aspect that I think we share and one aspect that I think a LOT of people on this board share. to love ourselfs completely we need to understand this aspect completely. everyone is of equal value, so when I say smarter people, I'm not putting down anyone who isn't. what I'm talking is an issue that actually hit's smarter people that doesn't people of average smarts.

Alienation. if you have ever felt this very specific and odd feeling, you aren't alone. most of the time's we feel alianated precisely because other's don't understand us and won't take what we say seriously, and the reason is precisely the, for lack of a better word, smarts gap. take your Icon psychopathetic for example, that is, to me(and I might be wrong). people with ADHD usually use these kinds of symbols to express our emotions... but not only people with ADHD.... smart people.

so I don't think I have to draw the bell curve(don't know how on a forum, ). but say, 65% of the population falls withen the normal dimension, that is, like 85 to 115 IQ, withen 1 deviation. people who fall in the normal dimension of the IQ scale have been able to talk to people and figure out who they are, their emotions etc with everyone around them sense they where born.

I can't talk for anyone else here, but I fall in the top 10% (I think 7%). this means that unless I really try (and I have developed my ability for talking among a plethora of IQ). people with normal IQ won't understand a lot of the concepts I talk about. IQ, G, multiple intelligence we have when we are born, that is, like the fluid intelligence on the IQ is pretty much the same as it was when I was conceived, the rest of the IQ test measures different thing, and as flawed as I think the IQ test is, the test does measure logical and metaphorical analysts, of course a specialist is someone who can really gauge if a person uses stuff like modular int, metaphorical speech and so on. someone who is as smart as the person or more can as well, because they are, more or less, speaking the same language (and that takes time to identify).

for instance, when I talk about concepts like modular intelligence, deep science etc.... the only people who understand those concepts (even if they don't know they understand, but can follow the concepts and keep up) are in the same relative IQ range. when I talk about modular intelligence to 2 people, one in the normal range and one in about the same range(deviation), the one with normal intelligence can not keep up. that is, ya when first discovering a bit about you sometime's it is hard to keep up, but someone with average IQ won't understand the concepts at all. the multilayered bits that connect different concepts to different concepts, the fluid and dynamic speach that is precisely what the fluid int part of the IQ measures

a good example of this kind of discussion is when I was talking to the PHD at the school about a topic, I was going on a trip and he went through some of his photo's, I said "that fog looks amazing" and in the next photo he pointed out a fox and said "that's a nice shadow". I even talked to him about this and we where having a metacognative discussion, the fog was confusion I had at the time about something and the fox, curiosity, his own curiosity about the topic at hand and telling me that I should be curious about that particular subject.

if that makes sense, then you are like in the second or third deviation(even if it makes an inclining of sense, we can think we are dumb when we aren't for this very reason), if it doesn't, that means that a person isn't. a person with normal smarts will not be able to make heads or tails of the above example. not all smart people are good at what society deems smart people should be good at, some are great writers(linguistic int) and suck at Math, that's the inferiating part about IQ tests

it won't make sense. that is, the conversation. we can then, well if you are like me, take it to mean we don't make sense. when we have grown up trying to express our full selfs only to be met with that sentemet over and over again we can think we don't or will never make sense, that something is wrong with us.

here is the kicker, everyone has their own form of stigma depending on race, creed, relationships, smarts etc... the sensitive feel their stigma, we can feel like

aliens.

and because like, for me, I can only truly be myself around 15% of the population or so. this has been sense I was conceived. the intelligent people in life can have a very hard time with self concept, self awareness etc precisely because we have few peers to talk to, and that goes for each smart person, because we all experience alienation that just magnifies the alienation, cause each person can feel alienated it makes each person less likely to go find like minded peers. hell, rumination is a good example, people of average int tend to ruminate less because they are able to speak their mind freely without being cast aside into the alienation domain. rumination is specifically not being able to talk about things, things only the top 20% of the smarts scale will understand. we can then think and believe we are dumb(Impostor syndrome) simply because we are smart, talk about smart things, but because society in general can't understand the concepts we talk about, we think we are wrong, dumb and smart people, sense we adapt to the environment very well, can then behave in said ways loosing a part of who we are in the mix.

the solution, stop squelching yourself(I'm assuming you may, that seems to be a problem we have to deal with), find like minded people to talk to online or whatever and talk things out. I've found quora an awesome place. when we volentarily squelch ourselfs with no good reason other than"other's don't understand", we in turn, mute part of ourselfs.
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Old 09-15-18, 03:36 AM
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Re: How do you deal with those who just don't understand?

Hey thanks a lot Drogs. I REALLY appreciate this.
Sorry I haven't replied yet. I have read your post...
To be honest, I'm just not sure how to reply yet.
I initially was going to reply in humor by saying something along the lines of "There's just one thing wrong with your theory. I'm not smart...I'm a dumb-dumb!" lol...
But yeah. I just haven't formulated a reply in my head yet. I don't like at all saying out loud that I'm any smarter then anyone else...and in fact (just like you explained in your post) I feel like I really truly am a dumb-dumb...even though I know I'm rather intelligent...maybe not with typical things like math and science or whatever...but in other areas I really am above average.

Most of your post does make sense to me...and I hope I'm able to think of a proper way to reply...it's just taking me time to process.

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Old 09-16-18, 04:31 AM
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Re: How do you deal with those who just don't understand?

Psycho love- Who is this guy? I dont think I understand what his job is. Is he like a disability case manager? What an A-hole though! Are you able to petition for someone else? Or complain about his treatment of you? For someone in his position I am surprised he acts this way. Screw him though. You and me, we have a disability- and there should be no shame-(even though we both feel it a lot). But I know I am a good person-flaws and all. And you are too. That job you are considering...who but a good person would try and get that job?
Bad lazy people do not go for jobs like that. You know what I am gonna say..

You are NOT Lazy, crazy, useless, hopeless, stupid, dumb, worthless, unworthy, terrible, horrible, evil, unloveable or insignificant.
You are human.
You have faults.
You have gifts.
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Old 09-16-18, 05:56 AM
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Re: How do you deal with those who just don't understand?

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Originally Posted by sarahsweets View Post
Psycho love- Who is this guy? I dont think I understand what his job is. Is he like a disability case manager? What an A-hole though! Are you able to petition for someone else? Or complain about his treatment of you? For someone in his position I am surprised he acts this way. Screw him though. You and me, we have a disability- and there should be no shame-(even though we both feel it a lot). But I know I am a good person-flaws and all. And you are too. That job you are considering...who but a good person would try and get that job?
Bad lazy people do not go for jobs like that. You know what I am gonna say..

You are NOT Lazy, crazy, useless, hopeless, stupid, dumb, worthless, unworthy, terrible, horrible, evil, unloveable or insignificant.
You are human.
You have faults.
You have gifts.
haha I knew you'd make your way over to this thread eventually

Wish I had you in the 3d world for a few days. You could sit in on a few of my groups that this guy co-runs to see how much of a (adult word!) he can be.
I'm really starting to become bitter and angry with him and it's really getting in the way of group for me. I think I'm going to confront him in group this week.
Then you can tell him to go **** himself for me and tell him I don't deserve his ****!

I sure could use an advocate right now! I feel so vulnerable and abandoned right now.

Yes, he's my case manager who works at the place I get therapy...been working with him for about a year now...and I have a LONG list of bad experiences I've had with him.

---EDIT---
lol I just typed up a bunch here, but deleted it. It was getting too long >.<'.
Let's just say that I've lost most respect I had for him as a professional, and he's shown over and over that he wants to help me as little as possible.
I feel like at this point, he's actually working against me in my life far more than for me.
Yet I'm kinda stuck with him for now.
---EDIT 2---
lol I again just typed up a bunch...and deleted
...

---edit---
ha! Just deleted again!!! damn it lmao!

To keep it short...I'm not the only one who has had difficulties with him. He just chased a new member away last week.

...There is light at the end of the tunnel! There is a new lady I just started to see who will be helping me out...who is WAAAAY more sensitive to me and not at all as judgmental, abrasive and uncommitted to me. She's not only going to help me get into employment, but starting next month she's going to start coming to my apartment to help me get it clean (and not just 'picked up'...but clean!)...then she's going to help me work on a plan to keep things nice. And.../gulp...she wants me to start taking short walks with her a couple of times a week...luckly she's not in the best shape herself and is getting up there in age...so she's a slow walker too and not ready for long walks. Just really short ones till we build up a bit of stamina.

Now that I think abou it...she very well could become an advocate here in 3d land for me. She's very mothery...and I really get along with her. I also don't feel almost any judgment from her.

...
...
Thank you for the reply Sweets. I always love getting your support. I always feel stronger when you give it to me, and you've given me so much of it!

Sorry for the long reply! haha...I've tried SO hard to keep it short! /sigh

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Old 09-16-18, 06:04 AM
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Re: How do you deal with those who just don't understand?

I love your long replies! But maybe she can help you detach from that jerk enough where you feel strong enough to kick him to the curb. I wish we had the kind of stuff you have here in NJ. I would seriously really benefit from what you have. Can you pm me about how you got involved in these types of services? Maybe I can look into it since I am tossing around the idea of school but have so much going against me. Only pm if you are comfortable though, its your private business so do not feel like you are obligated to tell me anything.
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Old 09-16-18, 07:41 AM
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Re: How do you deal with those who just don't understand?

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Originally Posted by sarahsweets View Post
Can you pm me?

NOPE!
Not going to do it, and you can't make me!!

But thanks for the e-smooch!

...
p.s.


I is only kidding! long winded pm has been sent!

I only wish I had more to give you .


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Old 09-16-18, 09:14 AM
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Re: How do you deal with those who just don't understand?

This thread is flying!
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Old 09-16-18, 10:33 AM
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Re: How do you deal with those who just don't understand?

I hate it when people who are supposed to understand ...
instead invalidate the things we share with them.

And so many of them seem to be in the health care field.
Where is the "care" in what they are doing and saying?

I've had years of this with doctors and nurses and therapists.
I'm not happy with the clinic I go to, but I love the PA that I see.
She never invalidates me in any way, so I stick with this clinic.
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Old 09-16-18, 05:57 PM
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Re: How do you deal with those who just don't understand?

Quote:
Originally Posted by sarahsweets View Post
This thread is flying!
lol...I think this reply was meant for he owl thread?
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