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Old 06-23-18, 07:07 PM
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Question Looking for a coach experienced with working with executives / managers with ADHD

Hi all,

Been a long time since I stumbled upon the forums.
I am struggling, really bad.
Almost done with 6 months probation period at the best job I ever had, with the best boss who has ADHD himself, but undiagnosed officially and not as bad as mine - and yes, I told him I have it months ago and it did not ruin my career.
But, I am really struggling with time management, emotional regulation and stress management.

I am a mid level executive leading a department. They hired me to build and develop the department from nearly zero - company is huge and growing but used to be a start up and the previous IT lead was and pardon my french, an incompetent neglegent passive aggressive guy, who luckily no longer works there. He left the department in such a mess, I am in firefighting mode for over 3 months now.

My boss is supportive and I am doing a great job BUT, I am overwhelmed by the crazy amount of emails, we are understaffed and I am trying to fill in 3 positions for the past few months and I am mainly all over the place, disorganized, sometimes paralyzed by the amount of load and not knowing where to begin.
I did so much overtime I almost had a nervous break down and slowed down, after talking to my boss and figuring out the problem is not the load but me. Yes, with my all or nothing perfectionist approach, I was the one who was killing myself with stress and long hours and not the job.

I am desperate and need a coach before I screw this job up and get fired.
Anyone had a coach and could recommend one?
I am located in Germany but willing to work remotely with anyone anywhere in the world.

Thanks ahead.
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Old 06-23-18, 10:25 PM
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Re: Looking for a coach experienced with working with executives / managers with ADH

I'd love to hear how it worked after you find one.

I am very sceptical of the possibility of coaching oneself up to a successful management career as an adhder, but I'd love to see it works somehow.

I think I will need it as well.
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Old 06-24-18, 12:05 AM
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Re: Looking for a coach experienced with working with executives / managers with ADH

Try either Marina Darlow or Marla Cummins. Both great coaches for ADHD.
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Old 06-25-18, 06:38 PM
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Re: Looking for a coach experienced with working with executives / managers with ADH

I don't know how much of your issue in this is ADHD and how much of it is just being thrown into the middle of a **** storm. I doubt anyone on their best day would handle the position you are in very well. So props to you for sticking with it. Best of luck to you.
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Old 06-26-18, 11:26 AM
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Re: Looking for a coach experienced with working with executives / managers with ADH

well, I wen to therapy for ADD some years ago and the therapist was good. Gave me tips on organizing tasks and time and emotional regulation skills thjat were helpful. Don't know if he practices remotely, or if he's even practicing anymore. This was in Philadelphia. Isn't there anyone you can find in Germany?
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Old 08-25-18, 12:37 AM
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Re: Looking for a coach experienced with working with executives / managers with ADH

Ive worked with a coach twice. Neither specialized in adhd and neither knew I had it (although I think one suspected). It was a great experience both times. I’m the CEO of a small but profitable and growing social impact startup. I’d be happy to share a few tips I learned on managing my priorities (and email!) from the perspective of someone who has struggled with adhd if you’re still looking for help.

Last edited by namazu; 08-25-18 at 01:12 AM.. Reason: no solicitation/advertising of products or services is permitted on ADDF
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Old 08-25-18, 01:12 AM
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Re: Looking for a coach experienced with working with executives / managers with ADH

Quote:
Originally Posted by Kungfuninja View Post
Iíd be happy to share a few tips I learned on managing my priorities (and email!) from the perspective of someone who has struggled with adhd if youíre still looking for help.
I'm sure a number of people here would be thrilled if you'd share your tips!
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Old 08-25-18, 04:53 AM
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Re: Looking for a coach experienced with working with executives / managers with ADH

I've found that Transactional Analysis is good for ADHD. Easier to find a TA coach than an ADHD coach.

Make sure the TA person you talk to is "Classic" TA, as this works best with ADHD. Avoid the "Relational" ones.
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Old 08-27-18, 08:13 PM
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Re: Looking for a coach experienced with working with executives / managers with ADH

Ok, so let me preface by saying that since ADHD can look/feel very different for different people, I have no silver bullet that will work for everyone. Most of my tips are for people who are in leadership positions and whose work is not very detail oriented. If you need to pay attention to details and you have ADHD...Iím so sorry I wouldnít even know where to start!

Ok, so a few tips that have worked well for me:

Every morning when I first wake up and am still groggy, I open my journal (I use one from bestself.co), check my calendar for the day and decide on 3 things I absolutely have to do that day. Each of the 3 things should take 5-30 minutes and be important slash getting each one done should feel like a big win. Some days are hard and it takes everything I have to finish 3 quick tasks, other days I knock them out by 10am and get into that ďhyper-focusĒ mode. Either way, I feel good about accomplishing those 3 important things and I know that Iím getting closer to my goal.
-itís important to relentlessly prioritize and skip any tasks that can be skipped (face it, youíll never get to inbox 0). I also try to find someone I can delegate the really boring tasks to - either someone on my team or outsourced. Outsourcing administrative tasks is pretty cheap compared to the time it would take my adhd brain to do them.
-everything goes in my calendar, even basics like laundry and heckling email. If itís not my email time, I wonít even look at my inbox. My colleagues have gotten used to this and itís not a problem (although at first it took a few apologies and explanations to make things right).
-I use a ďdaily standupĒ meeting to hold myself and my team accountable. Every morning at 10 my whole team stands in a circle and shares in 60 seconds what they accomplished yesterday, their priorities for today, and any requests for the team. The social pressure helps me set reasonable expectations for myself and stick to them. I donít get it right every day, but it helps.
-sometimes I get anxious about having put something off too long and it makes it seem even harder. Thatís why I do a weekly review on Friday to evaluate my progress this week and set strategic (not tactical) goals for the following week. This lets me start on Monday already knowing what I need to do instead of wasting time thinking about it (or even worse, working on something low priority).
-we have a gym in the office and I take my laptop or phone in there and walk on a treadmill while I get some work done. This really helps on bad days.
-I canít rmphasize this enough: prioritize and let low priority things just get not done (or delegate/outsource). Networking also helps because sometimes someone way more experienced who would never work for you is willing to do a piece of work for you because itís easy for them (and hard for you) and they like you.

Thatís a few thoughts off the top of my head. Iíve never given broad/general advice because I usually work directly with an individual and try to help them manage their individual situation. Anyway, I hope at least some of that is helpful to at least some people! Lol
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Old 08-28-18, 01:51 AM
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Re: Looking for a coach experienced with working with executives / managers with ADH

the three tasks idea is brilliant!
I really like the idea of choosing them the same day. Because if something else comes up, well the things you had planned to start "first thing in the morning" may not get done at all. and no matter how hard you work that day, handling a new client or super urgent issue, there is that lingering feeling of "not getting anything done" because none the items marked on the list with an asterisk (i use calendar + handwritten list) are crossed off.

I was an executive assistant and so the workplace advice kinds of articles never completely applied to me, I was the person who got the delegated items. And I had to pay very close attention to detail!

Also, if i didn't reply to my boss' emails within 5 min he would call and yell. ):
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Old 08-28-18, 03:27 AM
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Re: Looking for a coach experienced with working with executives / managers with ADH

One other general tip is that one will usually be most mentally fresh first thing- so it is better to target larger tasks first up, rather than expend a lot of alertness on multiple emails.

Nancy Ratey may be a good option if she can do remote coaching.
Ive always found her book "The Disorganised Mind" very helpful.
She has a website.
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