ADD Forums - Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder Support and Information Resources Community  

Go Back   ADD Forums - Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder Support and Information Resources Community > CO-EXISTING CONDITIONS > Anxiety Disorders, OCD & PTSD
Register Blogs FAQ Chat Members List Calendar Donate Gallery Arcade Mark Forums Read

Anxiety Disorders, OCD & PTSD A forum to discuss Anxiety, Generalized Anxiety Disorder, Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, Panic Disorder, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, Simple Phobias, and Social Anxiety Disorder

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #1  
Old 03-14-12, 10:33 PM
messironaldo messironaldo is offline
Member
 

Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: Phoenix
Posts: 40
Thanks: 11
Thanked 7 Times in 7 Posts
messironaldo is on a distinguished road
Extreme introversion, how to deal with it?

I have never been diagnosed with Social Anxiety, then again I have never discussed my introversion with my doctor. By extreme I mean that it is affecting me in a negative manner. I don't always have a problem speaking to strangers although i don't like it at ALL. I usually use a very low voice and mind my own business. It stresses me out when people--even if they have the best of intentions--attempt to talk or have a conversation with me.

As for my introversion, it is terribleeee. It is depressing. I do have friends that invite me places, although they have stopped for the most part because I usually say no. I WANT to be home, I feel like I need to be home. Does that make sense? I feel like something might happen that might require me to be home. I have missed out on so much stuff because I rather stay home, even when I am dead bored. Honestly, the last few months I have stayed in every single day! I do go out occasionally to church or the local gas station(buy a snack or something). That's it though. I haven't been to a movie, mall, event or anything like that.

A typical weekend consists of staying in and doing homework. Yes folks, this Saturday at 8 PM I will be doing calculus homework. That's always my excuse as well. What is wrong with me? It is self-destructive because I am gaining weight, becoming depressed, hurting myself mentally by staying in every single day.

I have been taking online courses from local community college but I'm going to have to do the whole brick and mortar university campus after May (Summer I begin new set of courses available only via traditional classroom). It worries me because I feel I am too unstable to interact socially right now. Lab partners? I can talk to people, it's not like I'll freak out but I don't want to. I'd rather talk to myself. Heck, I shove away my brother and sister even though I don't see them for most of the day! I don't like talking to people a lot.

Even when I drive to places, I don't like driving too far from my home. I could be playing basketball with my friends right now, in fact, they are a couple of blocks away at a park. But nooooo, I need to be home. Even though there is nothing for me to do here, I need to be here. Why?!
Reply With Quote
  #2  
Old 03-14-12, 11:11 PM
TheChemicals's Avatar
TheChemicals TheChemicals is offline
ADDvanced Forum ADDvocate
 

Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: South Florida
Posts: 2,887
Thanks: 670
Thanked 2,400 Times in 1,331 Posts
TheChemicals has disabled reputation
Re: Extreme introversion, how to deal with it?

Nothing wrong with introversion. Its not a disorder.
__________________
Another monster body shot. Rocky's ancestors must have felt that one.
Reply With Quote
  #3  
Old 03-14-12, 11:18 PM
messironaldo messironaldo is offline
Member
 

Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: Phoenix
Posts: 40
Thanks: 11
Thanked 7 Times in 7 Posts
messironaldo is on a distinguished road
Re: Extreme introversion, how to deal with it?

how do you deal with it? i would appreciate any suggestions. i assume this is the appropiate subforum since someone here is bound to be a huge introvert as well.
Reply With Quote
Sponsored Links
  #4  
Old 03-15-12, 01:54 AM
purpleToes's Avatar
purpleToes purpleToes is offline
Forum Guru
 

Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: California, USA
Posts: 962
Blog Entries: 1
Thanks: 1,095
Thanked 763 Times in 442 Posts
purpleToes has much to be proud ofpurpleToes has much to be proud ofpurpleToes has much to be proud ofpurpleToes has much to be proud ofpurpleToes has much to be proud ofpurpleToes has much to be proud ofpurpleToes has much to be proud ofpurpleToes has much to be proud ofpurpleToes has much to be proud of
Re: Extreme introversion, how to deal with it?

Introversion, Shyness, and Social Anxiety: What's The Difference? Learn Why Being a "Loner" Isn't Always a Choice

Chemicals is right, that introversion is not a disorder. It's a preference to be alone and do quiet things. However it sounds like you're not happier spending time alone than getting out and socializing, rather that it's just less stressful.

You said this bothers you a lot, which means it's not just your personality. You're lonely and bored, and desire human interaction and novelty, but something is holding you back. Maybe depression, maybe social anxiety/social phobia, maybe a touch of agoraphobia (another face of anxiety disorder).

I hope you'll bring this up with your psychiatrist, and therapist, if you have one, because this will be easier to fix the sooner you address it, before you get too set in your ways.

In what way are you feeling unstable?

Last edited by purpleToes; 03-15-12 at 02:15 AM..
Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to purpleToes For This Useful Post:
messironaldo (03-16-12)
  #5  
Old 03-15-12, 02:07 AM
purpleToes's Avatar
purpleToes purpleToes is offline
Forum Guru
 

Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: California, USA
Posts: 962
Blog Entries: 1
Thanks: 1,095
Thanked 763 Times in 442 Posts
purpleToes has much to be proud ofpurpleToes has much to be proud ofpurpleToes has much to be proud ofpurpleToes has much to be proud ofpurpleToes has much to be proud ofpurpleToes has much to be proud ofpurpleToes has much to be proud ofpurpleToes has much to be proud ofpurpleToes has much to be proud of
Re: Extreme introversion, how to deal with it?

P.S. I am pretty introverted, but social anxiety causes me to be more isolated than I want to be. Even if I had no social anxiety, I would be happy with just a very few friends, and seeing them regularly but preferring to spend more time alone or just with my significant other, because that's just my personality, not a disorder. The problem is when social anxiety makes me avoidant of friends and family even when I feel lonely. It's the difference being content to not socialize, vs wanting to, but feeling it's too stressful in some way. I hope that makes some sense.
Reply With Quote
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to purpleToes For This Useful Post:
markadd (04-06-12), messironaldo (03-16-12)
  #6  
Old 03-15-12, 04:06 AM
Driver's Avatar
Driver Driver is offline
ADDvanced Forum ADDvocate
 

Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 2,958
Thanks: 158
Thanked 1,779 Times in 1,010 Posts
Driver has a reputation beyond reputeDriver has a reputation beyond reputeDriver has a reputation beyond reputeDriver has a reputation beyond reputeDriver has a reputation beyond reputeDriver has a reputation beyond reputeDriver has a reputation beyond reputeDriver has a reputation beyond reputeDriver has a reputation beyond reputeDriver has a reputation beyond reputeDriver has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Extreme introversion, how to deal with it?

Doesn't sound like introversion is your problem: it's depression and social anxiety.

Introversion doesn't mean you find social situations distressing, it means you find social situations draining, and after a while you get all social'd out, and need a rest. Extroverts differ in that they get energised by social situations.
__________________
I'm on a horse.
Reply With Quote
  #7  
Old 03-15-12, 06:28 AM
Fortune's Avatar
Fortune Fortune is offline
I eat shades of red.
 

Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: The Candy Kingdom, Land of Ooo
Posts: 12,429
Blog Entries: 1
Thanks: 11,961
Thanked 22,202 Times in 9,398 Posts
Fortune has a reputation beyond reputeFortune has a reputation beyond reputeFortune has a reputation beyond reputeFortune has a reputation beyond reputeFortune has a reputation beyond reputeFortune has a reputation beyond reputeFortune has a reputation beyond reputeFortune has a reputation beyond reputeFortune has a reputation beyond reputeFortune has a reputation beyond reputeFortune has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Extreme introversion, how to deal with it?

I deal with introversion by not talking to people much. I find a lot of people tend to be fairly disappointing and disingenuous anyway, so it's not like I'm missing out.
Reply With Quote
  #8  
Old 03-15-12, 06:52 AM
Fuzzy12's Avatar
Fuzzy12 Fuzzy12 is online now
ADDvanced Forum ADDvocate
 

Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: UK
Posts: 20,117
Blog Entries: 1
Thanks: 32,552
Thanked 30,381 Times in 13,999 Posts
Fuzzy12 has a reputation beyond reputeFuzzy12 has a reputation beyond reputeFuzzy12 has a reputation beyond reputeFuzzy12 has a reputation beyond reputeFuzzy12 has a reputation beyond reputeFuzzy12 has a reputation beyond reputeFuzzy12 has a reputation beyond reputeFuzzy12 has a reputation beyond reputeFuzzy12 has a reputation beyond reputeFuzzy12 has a reputation beyond reputeFuzzy12 has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Extreme introversion, how to deal with it?

I can relate. I rarely feel like socialising (unless it involves alcohol) but I always feel like I should be or worry about missing out. I don't have social anxiety but my depression doesn't leave me a lot of energy. On some days, it's difficult enough to get through the day without having to pretend to be happy and cheerful for other people.

However, I am quite introverted and I don't really need to be surrounded by people all the time. On the contrary. Most people do drain me and bore me after a while. I need lots of alone time and I'm only slowly coming to accept that. My whole life I've had it drilled into me that unless you are social and like being with people that there is something seriously wrong with you. My family is extreme in their belief that you absolutely need people around you, but I think society as a whole promotes a picture that being social and outgoing is somehow more desirable.

You say you feel bored when you are on your own. How do you feel while you are socialising? Do you enjoy it?

Quote:
how do you deal with it? i would appreciate any suggestions. i assume this is the appropiate subforum since someone here is bound to be a huge introvert as well.
It does sound more like a problem of social anxiety and depression but if you don't feel like socialising then don't be too hard on yourself. It's ok to not always feel social or to prefer to be on your own. If it worries you, I'd discuss it with your psychiatrist, like the others have suggested.

If it's a problem of getting the initial motivation to just get up and meet someone, then maybe you could put regular activities in place to make it more of a habit. For instance, you could decide with your friends that every Thursday, you play basketball with them and once it's a habit maybe you don't have to think everytime if you really want to go.

If you are close to your friends, maybe you could ask them to push you a little bit to join them. Or if it's feasible, maybe you could hang out at your home if you feel more comfortable there.

If you get bored easily then maybe you could suggest activities to your friends, that you enjoy. I've stopped going with my acquaintances shopping or just meeting them for chit chat because that bores me terribly and I just can't get the motivation to do it. However, I'm happy to meet them for more outdoorsy activities or for a drink in the evening. You have to compromise at times of course, but this seems to work well for all of us.
Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to Fuzzy12 For This Useful Post:
messironaldo (03-16-12)
  #9  
Old 03-16-12, 03:23 PM
aglobke aglobke is offline
Jr Member
 

Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: OH
Posts: 14
Thanks: 3
Thanked 4 Times in 4 Posts
aglobke is on a distinguished road
Re: Extreme introversion, how to deal with it?

Quote:
Originally Posted by TheChemicals View Post
Nothing wrong with introversion. Its not a disorder.
Introversion is not a disorder ONLY when you don't mind being introverted. Social Anxiety is a disorder where you are "trapped" inside that introversion and desperately want out.
Reply With Quote
  #10  
Old 03-16-12, 06:57 PM
messironaldo messironaldo is offline
Member
 

Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: Phoenix
Posts: 40
Thanks: 11
Thanked 7 Times in 7 Posts
messironaldo is on a distinguished road
Re: Extreme introversion, how to deal with it?

Quote:
Originally Posted by purpleToes View Post
Introversion, Shyness, and Social Anxiety: What's The Difference? Learn Why Being a "Loner" Isn't Always a Choice

Chemicals is right, that introversion is not a disorder. It's a preference to be alone and do quiet things. However it sounds like you're not happier spending time alone than getting out and socializing, rather that it's just less stressful.

You said this bothers you a lot, which means it's not just your personality. You're lonely and bored, and desire human interaction and novelty, but something is holding you back. Maybe depression, maybe social anxiety/social phobia, maybe a touch of agoraphobia (another face of anxiety disorder).

I hope you'll bring this up with your psychiatrist, and therapist, if you have one, because this will be easier to fix the sooner you address it, before you get too set in your ways.

In what way are you feeling unstable?
Thank you, I read the article and clicked on the "Social Anxiety Network" link within the article.

Ufortunately I do not have a psychiatrist. Just my Dr. Can't afford a visit to a Psychiatrist at the moment.

I say unstable because I am quick to show my fury. We all know there are a lot of idiots in this world and I'm seconds away from snapping and doing something self destructive(i've been known to go against all logic since i was a child).

Quote:
Originally Posted by Fuzzy12 View Post

You say you feel bored when you are on your own. How do you feel while you are socialising? Do you enjoy it?

It does sound more like a problem of social anxiety and depression but if you don't feel like socialising then don't be too hard on yourself. It's ok to not always feel social or to prefer to be on your own. If it worries you, I'd discuss it with your psychiatrist, like the others have suggested.

.
It always depends on my mood(wether I enjoy socialisizing) but 80% of the time I would say no. Even when I hang out with my best friend, I have to force myself to talk to him, or listen. It is quite rude of me when he's telling me personal stuff and I zone out(when adderall is wearing out) or when I'm just completely not in the mood to talk. Partially, yes, my add is the cause of staring blankely into space but my friends ask me "why are you so quiet?" i've gotten used to that question already.

it's not a matter of doing interesting stuff because my best friend, whom i hang out with if i decide to go out, has the same interests, i.e. favorite restaraunt and activities. it's more or less that i have to force my self to talk, otherwise i'm comfortable staring at a wall while i think or listen to my internal thoughts.

As for depression, I have tried an anti-depressant already(citalopram), it did elevate my mood somewhat, in fact I would say that I was more of an extrovert while on it, however, the change in mood was not sufficient and it was too inconsistent. also, my dr didn't like me taking it with adderall. i'm looking into trying wellbutrin.

i only consider this a disturbance because i do not want my house to become my world. i could be going to the gym, grocieries, park, hanging out with friends, etc if i wasn't held back. it is almost ridiculous but even my skin is beginning to lighten up a bit-i live in phoenix and several weeks of no sun will make you 20 shades lighter-.
Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to messironaldo For This Useful Post:
Fuzzy12 (03-17-12)
  #11  
Old 03-17-12, 02:57 AM
SB_UK SB_UK is offline
 
 

Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: -
Posts: 21,012
Blog Entries: 20
Thanks: 6,150
Thanked 6,463 Times in 4,712 Posts
SB_UK has disabled reputation
Re: Extreme introversion, how to deal with it?

Quote:
Originally Posted by messironaldo View Post
Even though there is nothing for me to do here, I need to be here. Why?!
Because 'here's' everything that you need.

So why go elsewhere ?

And so when people make us feel as though we need to go elsewhere
- we feel bad - because we can't comply.

It's not that we're inferior - it's that we're freed from the need.

To the type of mind you describe - the 'grass is sufficiently green' {wherever}.
__________________
ADHD understood - simple matter of defining purpose (morality) of mind
See Stabile 'enforced moral consistency' ~15 years ago, nothing else since has been of any relevance to ADHD.
Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to SB_UK For This Useful Post:
messironaldo (04-09-12)
  #12  
Old 03-17-12, 04:18 AM
purpleToes's Avatar
purpleToes purpleToes is offline
Forum Guru
 

Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: California, USA
Posts: 962
Blog Entries: 1
Thanks: 1,095
Thanked 763 Times in 442 Posts
purpleToes has much to be proud ofpurpleToes has much to be proud ofpurpleToes has much to be proud ofpurpleToes has much to be proud ofpurpleToes has much to be proud ofpurpleToes has much to be proud ofpurpleToes has much to be proud ofpurpleToes has much to be proud ofpurpleToes has much to be proud of
Re: Extreme introversion, how to deal with it?

Messironaldo, what you said about the ADD making it difficult to pay attention with your friends and how that affects you, I can very much relate to that.

I don't have a huge amount of social anxiety around strangers, but it's more my own friends and family that I find myself avoiding at times. The effort and difficulty of keeping up with conversation and getting jokes and responding appropriately, and the embarassment when I can't hide it very well, all give me anxiety and avoidance. It's easier for me to hide my deficits with strangers and brief social interactions, harder with people who know me, and longer interactions.

I talked to one of my friends about this, and he said I should just be myself, he's not judging me, which I thought was very kind, but I'm still extremely self conscious about my deficits to the point that I isolate myself when my symptoms are bad. When medication is working well and my symptoms are mild, I enjoy socializing (to a point, remember I'm still an introvert).

It would be good if you could figure out whether you're depressed because of being isolated, or whether depression is causing you to withdraw.
Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to purpleToes For This Useful Post:
messironaldo (04-09-12)
  #13  
Old 04-09-12, 01:22 PM
messironaldo messironaldo is offline
Member
 

Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: Phoenix
Posts: 40
Thanks: 11
Thanked 7 Times in 7 Posts
messironaldo is on a distinguished road
Re: Extreme introversion, how to deal with it?

Quote:
Originally Posted by purpleToes View Post
Messironaldo, what you said about the ADD making it difficult to pay attention with your friends and how that affects you, I can very much relate to that.

I don't have a huge amount of social anxiety around strangers, but it's more my own friends and family that I find myself avoiding at times. The effort and difficulty of keeping up with conversation and getting jokes and responding appropriately, and the embarassment when I can't hide it very well, all give me anxiety and avoidance. It's easier for me to hide my deficits with strangers and brief social interactions, harder with people who know me, and longer interactions.

I talked to one of my friends about this, and he said I should just be myself, he's not judging me, which I thought was very kind, but I'm still extremely self conscious about my deficits to the point that I isolate myself when my symptoms are bad. When medication is working well and my symptoms are mild, I enjoy socializing (to a point, remember I'm still an introvert).

It would be good if you could figure out whether you're depressed because of being isolated, or whether depression is causing you to withdraw.
I have difficulty differentiating between those two things. My dr has asked me about the same thing when I mentioned my depression.

Part of the problem is I have always been more of an observer than someone who likes to engage in socializing.

"look alive!" that's another common phrase. I know they mean well, but it's irritating. Apparently taking on the observer role is not very welcomed in society.

Adderall has been partially giving me some confidence, the initial euphoria that wiped out any introversion has long subsided. I am trying to work on it though, I don't want to have to depend on several drugs for each aspect. As my dr says "You're too young to be a walking pharmacy" lol.

I Have begun wellbutrin for my depression. It has been helping elevate my mood, does nothing for introversion but being in a stable mood is a good start.
Reply With Quote
Reply

Bookmarks


Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On
Forum Jump

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Metadate causing extreme fatigue Chuck Connors Metadate CD & ER 1 07-27-11 03:59 PM
Rebound with Extreme Hyperactivity Realmom1 Vyvanse 4 02-19-10 12:34 PM
Rebound with Extreme Hyperactivity Realmom1 Children's Diagnosis & Treatment 0 02-17-10 05:54 PM
Books on Introversion velvetcactus General ADD Talk 4 10-12-04 03:25 PM
Why do Norms only want to deal with me if I am medicated? Draga General ADD Talk 22 09-03-04 04:10 PM


All times are GMT -4. The time now is 12:57 PM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.7.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2018, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
(c) 2003 - 2015 ADD Forums