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  #1  
Old 11-29-17, 04:46 PM
Essa96 Essa96 is offline
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Depression, suicide and ADHD

I'm sick and tired of my mind running away and playing games. All of my peers are finishing university this year and I am here struggling to pay attention in a local college doing a **** easy course... and failing still.

21 year old man rocking and spinning in his chair, daydreaming and doodling like a 10 year old in class, unable to focus for a minute or read a book (without remembering anything)..

This is just no way to live and I am losing hope

I get a feeling that even if I do get diagnosed with ADHD, the medication will hardly help. The antidepressants I took certainly do NOTHING for me... I seem to be immune to ease, and someone wants me to suffer.

Anyone else feel like they just don't have a place in this world?
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Old 11-29-17, 04:53 PM
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Re: Depression, suicide and ADHD

I don't feel like I belong, either, and I have not been diagnosed with ADHD, my diagnosises are other things
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Old 11-29-17, 06:56 PM
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Re: Depression, suicide and ADHD

I used to and funnily enough it was stimulants that made all the difference. I thought I'd always be depressed. I couldn't even imagine not being depressed...or leading a somehwat functional and satisfying life. I thought my brain just didn't do happy.

Antidepressants didn't really help me either.

Stimulants did. Not only did they make me more functional but they also reduced my constant anxiety (because I wasn't just chasing deadlines all the time anymore) and just made me feel better. I felt calmer. More relaxed. My mind was just a more pleasant place to be in

Don't lose hope. If you do happen to have ADHD medication can make a huge difference.
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Old 11-29-17, 10:26 PM
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Re: Depression, suicide and ADHD

I understand this feeling well.

but it get's better. it doesn't sound like it will do anything, but right now just say "things will get better, tomorrow will be better".

I strongly believe that people with ADHD need purpose and an outlet. ya, that class might be easy, but it's hard as a box of rocks to actually do anything without motivation.

if I might suggest, think about something you might see yourself doing in the future. something that, as a kid maybe, interested you.

sometimes people with ADHD can be so fascinated by a concept we utilize our ability to hyper-focus in a real positive way. the downside is, at a young age this can be squelched, we can try to talk to other people about something that they don't really undertand and that can make us feel like we have to squelch our feelings and creativity to fit in.

the upside is, we can get that back by refocusing on just whatever that is. or perhaps it also takes some self discovery.

the world is full of people with ADHD that found their passion in science, math, music, acting, sports, business, both somewhere up the latter and at the top. however, it has to be what interests you. sometimes it feels like society is pressuring us on being "just like everyone else", I believe that that is the roadblock that many of us can hit from time to time. trying to fill an obligation to a father, mother, or friend that just doesn't resonate.

farbeit for society to understand, that is how self-compassion starts. that is how self worth starts. by picking up that piece of ourselves.
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Old 11-30-17, 11:13 PM
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Re: Depression, suicide and ADHD

Well, even though I don't know you, I do have to say you DO have a place in the world, and it is an important one. Have you considered talking to a specialist about your situation? Sometimes something as simple as a dietary change can have very positive results in helping concentration issues. Please don't give up hope. Some of the most brilliant people throughout history have talked about times when their thoughts outpaced their minds, and they went on to be very successful people. There is no reason you can't be one of those people.
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Old 12-01-17, 06:38 AM
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Re: Depression, suicide and ADHD

How old are you? From my own experience some of these symptoms do get better with time. In my case I am able to read and learn things now that I am 27, something I was never able to do before. I still can't use knowledge to get results, but I hope that will change as well by the time I'm 30.
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Old 12-02-17, 06:22 AM
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Re: Depression, suicide and ADHD

Everyone has a purpose. All life is precious.
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Old 12-02-17, 07:47 AM
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Re: Depression, suicide and ADHD

dude you are only ******* 21... I am so envious. there are many options for you in terms of medication, I would advise to try something different. get your brain together, this is your number 1 priority try other meds, after that you have so many options.
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Old 12-02-17, 03:14 PM
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Re: Depression, suicide and ADHD

Hey Essa,

I think there are more people our age who feel out of place than there are people who don't. Everyone tends to feel different in some ways. Only being able to perceive what goes on in your own mind and not in others', like any human, is enough to make one feel out of place. Maybe you can find some consolation in shared misery?

That said, suicidal ideation is a different cup of tea. I have certainly struggled with it at times, but that was mostly due to a lack of perspective. It seems like you have a lot of perspective right now. You are aware that you might have ADHD but are not treated yet. That is a world of possibilities you have yet to explore. Why assume the worst? Why not go into it with a more realistic open mind?
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Old 12-03-17, 09:06 PM
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Re: Depression, suicide and ADHD

Get to a really good psychiatrist.

Get to a really good therapist.

There are dozens of ways to treat depression, including all kinds of older drugs and off label medications ....

Get to a really good psychiatrist, one who has the creativity to keep trying different medications until one works.

At the same time, you want to do the work of retraining your brain in therapy.

A sign of your depression and depressive thinking: you're already assuming ADHD treatment won't help even though you haven't tried it.

First rule of life beyond depression: try out treatment! ... I have found treatments that frankly have worked way better than I EVER could have imagined ... and that includes the ADHD treatment.

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