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Women with ADD/ADHD This forum is for women to discuss issues related to being a woman with AD/HD.

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  #1  
Old 06-21-12, 09:19 AM
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Help?!?!?

This is really difficult for me to do, I am a new member and have come looking for understanding of myself I suppose. Since I was a teenager I have struggled with thoughts and feelings that I was not like the other kids at school and at 36, I feel it is becoming worse as the years go by. I have researched lots of different things looking for what could possibly be the reason for me being like I am, starting with depression, I tried medication but nothing i tried ever made me feel any different so eventually gave up. I have looked at bipolar, and even suggested it to my doctor but he wasnt convinced and to be fair, neither was I so I didnt persue the issue. Then 6 months ago I was approached by a teacher at school who suggested I took my 7 year old son to the doctors and asked about ADHD, I did this and he has just been diagnosed with moderate ADHD. This has led me to go reading (as it does) to find out more about it. And I am now wondering if this is possibly the answer I have been looking for about myself all these years. I have mentally beat myself up for years about how lazy I am, how im a terrible mother, I am currently in the middle of spilitting up with my third long term relationship because I simply just cant stay in a relationship, for reasons that I cannot settle down, im always wanting to move on, etc etc My head is a complete mess to be honest, Im not even sure any of this is making sense! Im sorry if this is posted in the wrong part of the forum or anything, I did try to read through rules and stuff on the forum before posting, but I find it incredibly hard to read through lots of information and take it in, I skim things because i dont have the focus to read properly, so again my apologies if this is not in the right place or against any rules etc. Anyway, I just wanted opinions from people who live with ADHD daily as I'm currently too scared to go to see the doctor as ive got it into my head that they will just think im a loon who has been reading all this stuff about her son's ADHD. But i will list the symptoms I have listed over the last few days, there is more but coming up with a complete list is just overwhelming.

Lack of motivation to the point where I don't deal with every day life. Confusion
irrational overthinking all the time
Inability to concentrate unless it's something that really interests me,
inability to hold down a relationship
forgetting appointments
disorganisation,
poor self control,
planning to do stuff but never carrying it out,
Hyper focus to the point of obsession sometimes,
fidgeting (foot tapping, hair playing, can't sit still without shuffling, my inability to sit still at the cinema)
easily distracted,
hyper emotional
hyper sensitive,
panic attacks,
low self esteem,
feeling overwhelmed by trivial things,
inability to cope with small amount of stress,
mood swings,
trivial things making me lose my temper and fly off the handle,
over self conscious,
perfectionist tendencies with certain things,
bossy,
talking to myself and having conversations in my head,
stupid spending of money,
forgetting to pay bills,
starting projects but unable to see them through,
struggle to sleep due to brain not turning off

as I said this is just half of the things that bother me and i am totally unable to control, I tell myself every night when I go to bed that I will make a concious effort to change these things about myself tomorrow, then I get up, and I do little else other than sit at my computer all day because I cannot find the motivation, strength or energy to do much else and its effecting every aspect of my life from relationships, to my kids to just simple every tasks that most people take for granted... its like I cant cope with life and Im losing the will to live here!

Can anybody offer me some insight on whether any of this sounds familiar? I am desperate

Sorry for my long winded ramblings, I rarely make much sense when I get started
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  #2  
Old 06-21-12, 01:51 PM
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Re: Help?!?!?

Sounds a lot like me.

Your post made a lot of sense actually.

Have you looked in to depression as well as ADHD? I'm definitely NOT saying that you have depression, just that ADHD and co-morbidity with other disorders is common. Depression being one of them. They also share similar symptoms.

Have you or are you considering seeing a psychiatrist to discuss this? I do think it would be a good start.
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Old 06-21-12, 02:36 PM
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Re: Help?!?!?

Can you elaborate more on:

1 - The overthinking stuff.

2 - The sensitivity stuff.

3 - The emotion stuff.

4 - The temper stuff.

5 - Why you're unable to hold down a relationship.
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Old 06-21-12, 06:39 PM
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Re: Help?!?!?

Quote:
Originally Posted by avjgirsijdhtjhs View Post
Can you elaborate more on:

1 - The overthinking stuff.

2 - The sensitivity stuff.

3 - The emotion stuff.

4 - The temper stuff.

5 - Why you're unable to hold down a relationship.
1 - Over thinking - for instance, somebody says something trivial and meaningless to me and I start to think it over in my head and suddenly it becomes something it never was intended to be... plus my mind is always ticking over, I try to sleep but my mind will not switch off, it can sometimes take me till 4am to fall asleep because I just cannot shut my mind down.

2- Extremely sensitive over everything! Someone makes a passing comment and I will dwell on it. I get upset very easily.

3- Emotion - Hard to explain, cannot seem to find the correct words, ive typed out what Im trying to say 4 or 5 times and deleted it as it just isnt what I mean :/ I'll come back to this one another time lol

4 - I am unable to hold down a relationship because I sabotage them, Ive never been dumped, im always the one that ends the relationships because "im bored" I feel there has to be something "better" Ive ended three long term relationships now, I am currently going through another split and to be honest he is probably the best thing that has ever happened to me, he understands me better than anyone I have ever met, better than I understand myself at times, he is very supportive, understanding, does everything around the house that I cannot motivate myself to do, if it was not for him my house would be in chaos, yet here I am telling him to leave because I am bored of the relationship and I think there is something better out there! This is the same reasons/feelings I had for ending all my other relationships... what more could I possibly want??? but I cannot settle ever and its starting to scare me that I will never find what ever it is I am looking for! I always told him right from day 1 that i was "no good at relationships" because this is how I feel.

Again sorry for the rambling lol it makes sense in my head haha
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Old 06-21-12, 11:55 PM
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Re: Help?!?!?

I think you must have copied the list I had made for myself!!

I had never considered the possibility of being ADHD. I always thought "those" people had tons of energy, accomplished everything they set out to do, and always had energy to face whatever they had to deal with each and every day. I certainly did not fit that description and so never had considered it.

That just shows you how little I knew about Adhd.

About 2 years ago, I had literally burned out. I had no energy left to deal with each day. I finally sought medical help and went through a battery of tests, physical and psychological.

After a few months, I was dx'd with a whole slew of alphabet soup acronyms. But, the main one was the ADHD-PI. Most of the other labels are co-morbid to the ADHD.

Turns out that I had learned different coping methods throughout my life. But, after hitting a certain age, I just ran out of energy and coping strategies.

I was certainly relieved to learn that I was not experiencing early onset Alzheimers, or any of the other things on my list. But, on the other hand, I was shocked with how ADHD really does impact your life, and how differently we try to process information.

As someone else pointed out, get help for your depression. Then you can deal with the rest. My doctor immediately prescribed an anti-depressant for me, then I was able to start working on the other stuff.

Good luck to you.
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Old 06-22-12, 01:18 AM
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Re: Help?!?!?

It helps just to know that I'm probably not just a lazy so and so after all! I've beat myself up for a long time not understanding why basic everyday life was so difficult to deal with for me, if I have more than one day a week that lists something a need to do I feel overwhelmed. I never used to be this bad, Ive always struggled with busy schedules but not to this level, it's becoming impossible to cope at all. I am going to make an appointment to see my G.P today, gonna bite the bullet and see what he has to say, I will be a single mum of three again by this time next week and I just don't know how I'm going to manage. Thank you for your comments, it's certainly made it a little bit easier to get off my *** and go get some help xx
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