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  #1  
Old 07-28-12, 04:59 AM
chattycathy chattycathy is offline
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driving lesson drama

Hi,

I need to clear my head. I tend to overthink things and would like some perspective. Thank you


My head gets bored or something and likes to make a big drama out of everything. And I am the kind of person who does not enjoy watching soaps, so I would like to put an end to it. A lot of drama has already passed and I am going to try to focus only on what is relevant now.


Two things:

  1. The way I act during my driving lessons.
  2. My feelings for my driving instructor.



I'll start with the second. At first I thought I might be in love with him and I deceided that I should ask him out after I get my licens, so that I wouldnt end up thinking later: I should have asked him out. This caused anxiety because I wasnt sure what I felt for him and I didnt know wheter I should then ask him out after getting my licence or not. I dont want to ask him out just because I feel like I have to, but I also dont want to regret not asking him out.


Then the way I act in the car. Sometimes I find it difficult that it is his job to teach me how to drive. Like when we are talking and to me it almost feels like we are friends and then I remember that it is his job to sit in the car next to me. Then, when I am in the car, I overthink. I want to try to figure out what he thinks of me. And what I think of him. And I want to be spontanous and at the same time I want to think about my words because I want to appear really cool to him.
Yesterday I had a driving lesson and it kinda depressed me. My head is telling me that my driving lessons are awesom, but when I am in the car I feel pressured to make the lessons awesome and funny. Yesterday I felt it went horribly wrong. I blurted out stupid things and that makes me feel anxios. (Seriosly, I am such a dumb ***)


I think what I need is to relax and just focus on the driving. I am a bit dissapointed that I cant enjoy the driving lessons as much as I wished I could, but thats because I overthink things and expect too much from them . Just focus on getting your driver's licence now. And you sit in that car to get your licence and not try to impress him.


Its just, I find it hard to shut up sometimes. And that makes me feel like a dumb ***. So I am giving myself an assignent. Next lesson, I'll ask him how he is doing and after that just remain quite unless he starts a conversation and focus on driving.


FOCUS on driving! AHHHHHHH. I am frustrated.
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Old 07-28-12, 09:11 AM
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Re: driving lesson drama

Are you sure its love and not admiration? How long have you worked with him?
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Old 07-28-12, 10:54 AM
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Re: driving lesson drama

A really good professional instructor for anything is going to be working hard to not only teach you something, but also to give you a good experience. He (or she) is going to be interested in you, have empathy for you, is going to be very encouraging and positive, is going to couch feedback in a non-judgmental way. This may be a new experience for you, and it might be easy to miss that this is just him being a good instructor.
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Old 07-28-12, 03:30 PM
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Re: driving lesson drama

Honestly if he is reciprocating in any way such as flirting you wont learn how to drive you will learn how to flirt.
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Old 07-28-12, 03:59 PM
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Re: driving lesson drama

Hi,

Thank you so much for wanting to help me. I am really glad because I had such a hard time trying to write down what was bothering me that I thought that no one would bother trying to make sense of what I had written down.

He has been my instructor for the past 2 months.

Yes, I agree with the post about him being interested because he is my instructor and that is what I find difficult. I felt such a click with him and enjoyed talking with him that it made me feel rather stupid knowing that he might not enjoy talking to me and that he only pretends to enjoy talking to me. It makes me overthink when I talk to him which makes me feel down and makes me say things I feel are stupid. So I want to work on that. And that is by just keeping my mouth shut and focusing on driving.

What bugs me more is that when I felt this click at the begining of our lessons, it made me feel kinda dumb and it made me think that I would like him as a friend. But realising that he is currently my teacher I decided taht I will have to wait until i have my license.
But what bugs me, is that it makes me feel anxious and it makes me have so much expectation of every lesson. Like: this lesson has to be awesome otherwise I shouldnt ask him out.

I find it hard to explain. I guess I should just take one step at a time.
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Old 07-28-12, 06:47 PM
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Re: driving lesson drama

People will either like you or they won't. You can't make someone like you by being extra awesome, it doesn't work out in the long run. how long can you keep it up for? Just be yourself.
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Old 07-30-12, 12:53 PM
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Re: driving lesson drama

Just... drive. And let things be.

And, maybe, you shouldn't ask him out anyway? Don't know, maybe it's just me.... but I wouldn't ask any guy out straight after I've been his student/patient/doctor/teacher/whatnot. And I would not appreciate them to do so with me. May just be me... but doesn't seem like a terrific place to start a relationship...

I've had a crush on one of the doctors (SHO/resident) when I was a student, and doing my neurology clinical rotation. Decided I'd ask him out if I ever got a chance to chat with him person-to-person. Never happened, and that's fine too. If I were to meet him now, I wonder what I'd think of him...
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