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Old 10-22-13, 10:11 AM
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i'm scared to drive cross country and

i'm terrified of uprooting again - especially as my son was the reason I left as he would not help me in my home - I know it's different now - he and I have really grown this past few weeks especially.

I know I have to 'go' back and 'finish' what I started with the local congressman helping me and the atty general - I have to file small claims on the 3 guys who reneged on legal contracts and robbed me of all my husbands personal items, our entire kitchen and goods left for a tenant and my office - one guy actually told me he went into my computer - the severest violations were the sexual harassment of these people and how they ignored my pleas for my suicidal child who beat me up mercilessly by his punishment of me for bringing him into the world.

I always feel like what i'm doing is for him - but what about me? as a mom I know sacrifice is important TO AN EXTENT but the greatest good has to be served - not a martyr like sacrifice - granted i'm not happy in the horrifying humidity of summer but I love the ocean and winter here is SO lovely - I just found comedy group -and the local Players Guild -

i'm avoiding my home - because of how sobering the thought is of what faces me there.

I've been so deeply wounded by the experience there and going back reliving the deaths - i'm very very unsure and i'm not in my 20's anymore -I have a friend who may be able to fly back and he'd help us drive...and that would be such a relief....otherwise i'm just going commando as in 'have Glock will travel' and 'wtf, I got nothing to lose I haven't already had taken or attempted to take'

moving is almost as intense as getting married or having a baby - and with a kid who is allergic to 'sweat' - UGH - all the logistics

ok well - any advise on driving - my friend said I35 thru Nebraska then thru the mountains - and that scares the crapola out of m e - it's gonnna take a week - omg

k i'm done being my own devils advocate but OMG - this is so UGH - and i'm now so tired and so living on fumes - and the kid is uber dependent - and he won't finish HS if he leaves - he'll never do it - and I know he can finish online at home - and that's on him - he's 19 now and I've done nothing but encourage him while the schools did the opposite - wasting the last 2 yrs pulling him out while he was suicidally depressed so that this summer was the worst of my and his life

his depression and hostility reached all time highs while I was sick and fighting with banks - schools -the lawyer I retained who charged me 7k and refused to do the exception I retained her for - so she charged me that for faxing docs knowing i'm an Investment banker, Sr Loan Originator and a processor with Underrwriting experience - what part of 'I need your firms leverage to help me get a principle interest rate reduction and an owner occupied loan giving me time to get home = well I bought the time since Congress and atty general got involved -

enough any advice is gratefully appreciated for logistics, opinions, questions....cus I have to be really ok with this for me too and on that score i'm really not sure - I want to retreat ...and i'd so much rather get renters....and just save the money we blew moving here - wait for the VA money owed us and then make our moves.

But, the home is one we put money into and down on in a purchase and if they adjusted for equity lost in the market it would be worth it again

otherwise I pay too much for a home not worth what they're charging me?

still I was told - go and do this - stand up and do it - and I know that it's right - then I can lobby in Olympia for the change of insulation of Veteran Service Reps who treat widows and their disabled dependents like vermin if we don't want their sexual advances. It's so disgusting.

well - thanks and while excited about the prospect of seeing the country - and since i'm licensed to carry - i'm ok about doing this - it's the kid the dog and 2 cats in the car for a week - I mean like 7 days most likely unless someone helps drive ARGHHHHHHHHH

thanks u guys - I do need some moral support or i'm just being a needy wooooos - or both
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Old 10-22-13, 10:29 AM
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Re: i'm scared to drive cross country and

Hugs, what doesnt kill you makes one stronger..adversity builds character
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Old 10-22-13, 10:38 AM
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Re: i'm scared to drive cross country and



Licensed to carry! Driving across a country! Your living my dream I hope it's the smell of roses and not gunsmoke along the way!

I got no idea on route but make sure you got tunes!
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Old 10-22-13, 11:05 AM
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Re: i'm scared to drive cross country and

oh I got tunes - always - cannot do a moment of a day without them - and - you guys - I have no 'cheerleaders' and I need some so kick me daily - please - i'm absolutely quaking about the drive cus I've been battling severe nerves - overwork -and relentless kid snark which has only died down since he's happy to see friends - he is like me tho - more concerned with a financial security - and time to heal from the 5 yrs of trauma and stress

it's kinda serious - you all may have family - we've had no one but hostile attacks and friends who left when we needed them most

granted I didn't know what to tell them - I had no idea my panic attacks were comorbid adhd and the ptsd makes me freaking go ape crap on anything that scares me so when a few 'friends' intimated I was a liar I went off on them and cut them out of my life.

now i'm just sober...what i'm facing is not something I want to do and never wanted to do - i'm pushed to do it as an 'adult' - ugh - i'm an adult - ugh geez

what route would you guys take - is this time of year safe to do the Nebraska thru Montana route?/ Do I need to get snow tires orr studded tires? on the back at least?

and you know it's easier said than down - all - but mostly - I know these crossroads are all about timing - and taking a leap at best....I simply never have a net so my leaps about take everything out of me - it's been a lifetime of them

and i'm not really giddy - i'm just wanting to disappear to tend my self for once....

what are your driving tips - moving tips - anyone? I even thought about just storing my apt - and once there seeing how it goes - then sending for the stuff or I may end up moving again - see??

The home and I have a loan but it's got to be proper - and I believe it will work out but I know i'm not wanting to live in Olympia - or even WA - i'm not sure - i'd rather live in the area north of seattle if I was to stay - or i'm looking at Alaska

i'm a widow and i'm on my own - letting my son go and rightly - helping nudge him as he's so anxious without me and so tender - we've both been hurt so bad - I need to know our health is more impt than a house - and that's my issue...the Dr's there sucked so bad we had to come here - the only good ones are in seattle and the kid will not do therapy - maybe it's useless - maybe friends will be of greater good - but so few of them have their acts together and their parents - omg - I never met such awful people - the stuff they did to impose on me while I was in mourning and with no family - was more trauma - unbelievable.

i'm serious here guys - I've been caretaking the dying in my family for 17 yrs - my husband, brother and my son - all required me to be the one caretaker

I have to ultimately make this decision for ME - and - I don't make these type of decisions or any really - lightly at all.

I'm tore up from the floor up - and have spent my savings getting here and to son's and my dr's and diagnoses - after 2 yrs of hospitalisations from the side effects of the trauma surgery - it's mind boggling - and WTH am I gonna do there - squat until someone comes thru - oh joy

wel - if ya know of any routes - I have a 2001 Acura MDX paid off - in good shape but I never drove cross country and my kids anxiety wiith the animals - money stress

egads - come ON lol
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