ADD Forums - Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder Support and Information Resources Community  

Go Back   ADD Forums - Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder Support and Information Resources Community > ADULTS AND ADD/ADHD > Adults with ADD > General ADD Talk
Register Blogs FAQ Chat Members List Calendar Donate Gallery Arcade Mark Forums Read

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #1  
Old 09-30-19, 11:21 AM
drlizard drlizard is offline
Member
 

Join Date: Dec 2018
Location: Sweden
Posts: 27
Thanks: 30
Thanked 5 Times in 5 Posts
drlizard is on a distinguished road
Do you have troubles in group situations?

When I was a child it was extremely severe, I couldn't speak in class at all. I could sometimes form bonds with other kids 1 on 1, but group situations were impossible for me. Looking back the only explanation I can think of is that you can't have that chameleon quality which adapts to the person you're with to match his expectations or maybe to NOT create any personal bonds or expectations.



Did you have or still have such difficulties?
Reply With Quote
  #2  
Old 09-30-19, 04:01 PM
PI-ADHD 29 PI-ADHD 29 is offline
ADDvanced Member
 

Join Date: Aug 2018
Location: TURKEY
Posts: 191
Thanks: 45
Thanked 76 Times in 64 Posts
PI-ADHD 29 is on a distinguished road
Re: Do you have troubles in group situations?

Intersting. We're similar. I was always introvert, shy, lack of self-esteem etc... in all my life. For me some of reasons for that are:
*Depression and social phobia that coexist with adhd.
*Clumsiness, careless mistakes, forgetfullness, impulsiveness (i'm inattentive but have also impulsivity symptoms too).
*Not to be able to concentrate to conversations if the conservation doesn't interst me (for example i'm not interested in football, tv series, slang, gossip). I think most of conversations are waste of time.
Also i think your 'chameleon quality' explanation is super and just describes me also.
__________________
Born in 1989. Treated for major depression and anxiety since 21 yo.
Tried almost all of SSRI's (none of them worked)
Predominantly inattentive adhd, diagnosed in 2018.
Started with ritalin (worked only for two weeks)
Also tried wellbutrin and strattera
Now: ritalin and medikinet
For about three years local corticosteroid pomades for atopic dermatitis.
Reply With Quote
  #3  
Old 09-30-19, 10:36 PM
Monox D. I-Fly Monox D. I-Fly is offline
Member
 

Join Date: Oct 2017
Location: Indonesia
Posts: 92
Thanks: 6
Thanked 77 Times in 40 Posts
Monox D. I-Fly has a spectacular aura aboutMonox D. I-Fly has a spectacular aura about
Re: Do you have troubles in group situations?

I seldom have any trouble in group situations unless they start getting fed-up by my behavior which they perceive as childish. If neither of us can change it, I go to the Safe Mode: Shutdown. This has been my fourth time shutting down to other people: The first was when I was in grade 8, the second in grade 12, the third was in the fifth semester during college, and the last is currently at work.
Reply With Quote
Sponsored Links
  #4  
Old 10-01-19, 04:17 PM
Fuzzy12's Avatar
Fuzzy12 Fuzzy12 is offline
ADDvanced Forum ADDvocate
 

Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: UK
Posts: 20,283
Blog Entries: 1
Thanks: 32,681
Thanked 30,768 Times in 14,149 Posts
Fuzzy12 has a reputation beyond reputeFuzzy12 has a reputation beyond reputeFuzzy12 has a reputation beyond reputeFuzzy12 has a reputation beyond reputeFuzzy12 has a reputation beyond reputeFuzzy12 has a reputation beyond reputeFuzzy12 has a reputation beyond reputeFuzzy12 has a reputation beyond reputeFuzzy12 has a reputation beyond reputeFuzzy12 has a reputation beyond reputeFuzzy12 has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Do you have troubles in group situations?

Yes. I can never understand what other people are talking about unless it's something I find highly interesting. So I can't really contribute anything to a group situation. One on ones are getting harder too. Even medicated.
Reply With Quote
  #5  
Old 10-01-19, 04:27 PM
acdc01 acdc01 is offline
ADDvanced Forum ADDvocate
 

Join Date: May 2013
Location: Oregon
Posts: 3,264
Thanks: 3,081
Thanked 4,165 Times in 2,150 Posts
acdc01 has disabled reputation
Re: Do you have troubles in group situations?

Yes, the larger the group the bigger the problem.

It's partly about too much stimulous for me. I found that the environment I was in made a huge difference in how comfortable I felt. A restaurant filled with tons of different background noises and lots to see (aka too much stimulous) is very different from a single, silent white walled room.

2-3 is my favorite number of people to talk with too. More than that and again theres too much going on. Less then that and I'm forced to talk.

I'm pretty introverted so it's usually an effort to socialize. Especially getting myself to go to social events. That's actually the most difficult part.
Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to acdc01 For This Useful Post:
Fuzzy12 (10-01-19)
  #6  
Old 10-02-19, 09:07 AM
Clavius78 Clavius78 is online now
Member
 

Join Date: Apr 2019
Location: Klundert
Posts: 29
Thanks: 7
Thanked 34 Times in 17 Posts
Clavius78 is on a distinguished road
Re: Do you have troubles in group situations?

I'm 42 and I'm still having problems in groups. I've had them for all my life. One-on-one is fine. (So it's not shyness.) When another joins it becomes harder but manageable. From three people onward I become a spectator. I still don't exactly understand why. It's like my brain is busy with all sorts of things simultaneously. Things from my past, things I need to do, grocery lists, my work, my hobbies, my future, my wife, my daughter, and then with some spare room my brain processes the conversation. The more people join in the harder it gets to process everything with that bit of extra room. That's the best way I can describe it.

This problem vanishes when I'm medicated though. The stimulant forces me in the here and now, so I can join the conversation. I love how people noticed that change.
Reply With Quote
  #7  
Old 10-02-19, 10:53 AM
benito's Avatar
benito benito is offline
ADDvanced Member
 

Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: spain
Posts: 146
Thanks: 97
Thanked 63 Times in 54 Posts
benito is on a distinguished road
Re: Do you have troubles in group situations?

The same thing for me. You have described it very well...
Reply With Quote
  #8  
Old 10-02-19, 08:47 PM
Rebelyell's Avatar
Rebelyell Rebelyell is offline
ADDvanced Forum ADDvocate
 

Join Date: May 2010
Location: Somerset NJ
Posts: 10,538
Thanks: 6,561
Thanked 11,490 Times in 6,081 Posts
Rebelyell has a reputation beyond reputeRebelyell has a reputation beyond reputeRebelyell has a reputation beyond reputeRebelyell has a reputation beyond reputeRebelyell has a reputation beyond reputeRebelyell has a reputation beyond reputeRebelyell has a reputation beyond reputeRebelyell has a reputation beyond reputeRebelyell has a reputation beyond reputeRebelyell has a reputation beyond reputeRebelyell has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Do you have troubles in group situations?

I suck in group settings I always end up the outcast somehow..or being pushed aside n ignored grrr
Reply With Quote
  #9  
Old 10-03-19, 03:10 AM
TheDreamer's Avatar
TheDreamer TheDreamer is online now
ADDvanced Member
 

Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Europe
Posts: 159
Thanks: 111
Thanked 90 Times in 66 Posts
TheDreamer has a spectacular aura aboutTheDreamer has a spectacular aura about
Re: Do you have troubles in group situations?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Rebelyell View Post
I suck in group settings I always end up the outcast somehow..or being pushed aside n ignored grrr
Same here really. I'm not someone people really enjoy talking to, not sure why. One-on-one can work, but if another person enter those two start talking and I'm left out. When in a group with an odd number of people, like walking to lunch with coworkers, people tend to partition 2 and 2 and I'm the one left.

Can't say I mind it too much, as I usually prefer to be in my own thoughts, but still a bit of an itch...
__________________
Crastinating like a PRO
Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to TheDreamer For This Useful Post:
Rebelyell (10-03-19)
  #10  
Old 10-03-19, 07:35 AM
Little Missy's Avatar
Little Missy Little Missy is offline
ADDvanced Forum ADDvocate
 

Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: BIG, Wonderful, Wyoming USA
Posts: 16,642
Thanks: 24,443
Thanked 22,381 Times in 12,052 Posts
Little Missy has a reputation beyond reputeLittle Missy has a reputation beyond reputeLittle Missy has a reputation beyond reputeLittle Missy has a reputation beyond reputeLittle Missy has a reputation beyond reputeLittle Missy has a reputation beyond reputeLittle Missy has a reputation beyond reputeLittle Missy has a reputation beyond reputeLittle Missy has a reputation beyond reputeLittle Missy has a reputation beyond reputeLittle Missy has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Do you have troubles in group situations?

I;m not a grouper, either I'm in charge and won't let anyone squeeze a word in edgewise or I just let them pick on me until I explode in a torrent of words they don:t ubderstand.
__________________
The only true currency in this bankrupt world is what you share with someone else when you are uncool ~ Lester Bangs

And in the end, the love you take; is equal to the love you make...Beatles Abbey Road 1969
Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to Little Missy For This Useful Post:
Rebelyell (10-03-19)
  #11  
Old 10-03-19, 09:03 AM
Rebelyell's Avatar
Rebelyell Rebelyell is offline
ADDvanced Forum ADDvocate
 

Join Date: May 2010
Location: Somerset NJ
Posts: 10,538
Thanks: 6,561
Thanked 11,490 Times in 6,081 Posts
Rebelyell has a reputation beyond reputeRebelyell has a reputation beyond reputeRebelyell has a reputation beyond reputeRebelyell has a reputation beyond reputeRebelyell has a reputation beyond reputeRebelyell has a reputation beyond reputeRebelyell has a reputation beyond reputeRebelyell has a reputation beyond reputeRebelyell has a reputation beyond reputeRebelyell has a reputation beyond reputeRebelyell has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Do you have troubles in group situations?

I don't know why because people who have gotten to know me are like crap your nothing like you are at work or I'm told I'm a fun loving or interesting person etc. I don't like it when people interrupt n talk over me I think it's very rude n disrespectful
Reply With Quote
  #12  
Old 10-03-19, 10:33 AM
acdc01 acdc01 is offline
ADDvanced Forum ADDvocate
 

Join Date: May 2013
Location: Oregon
Posts: 3,264
Thanks: 3,081
Thanked 4,165 Times in 2,150 Posts
acdc01 has disabled reputation
Re: Do you have troubles in group situations?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Rebelyell View Post
. I don't like it when people interrupt n talk over me I think it's very rude n disrespectful
You realize plenty of adhders cannot help but interrupt people when they talk. Sorry, you hit a sensitive topic here for me.

I've been yelled at for interrupting others and told the same thing. I still do it adter that cause i cant help it and then they get even angrier. But no, I wasn't intending to be rude or disrespectful. I actually find it disrespectful to be angry at me for a disability symptom.

I actually think most people don't mean to be rude or disrespectful when they do that. They probably don't even realize it. Like I said, pet peeve.
Reply With Quote
  #13  
Old 10-11-19, 12:41 AM
meadd823's Avatar
meadd823 meadd823 is offline
Super Meowaderator
 

Join Date: May 2004
Location: address unknown
Posts: 20,896
Blog Entries: 38
Thanks: 6,854
Thanked 15,433 Times in 6,132 Posts
meadd823 has a reputation beyond reputemeadd823 has a reputation beyond reputemeadd823 has a reputation beyond reputemeadd823 has a reputation beyond reputemeadd823 has a reputation beyond reputemeadd823 has a reputation beyond reputemeadd823 has a reputation beyond reputemeadd823 has a reputation beyond reputemeadd823 has a reputation beyond reputemeadd823 has a reputation beyond reputemeadd823 has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Do you have troubles in group situations?

Depends on the group.
__________________


Follow ADDForums on Twitter & Facebook
Reply With Quote
  #14  
Old 10-14-19, 04:01 PM
Rebelyell's Avatar
Rebelyell Rebelyell is offline
ADDvanced Forum ADDvocate
 

Join Date: May 2010
Location: Somerset NJ
Posts: 10,538
Thanks: 6,561
Thanked 11,490 Times in 6,081 Posts
Rebelyell has a reputation beyond reputeRebelyell has a reputation beyond reputeRebelyell has a reputation beyond reputeRebelyell has a reputation beyond reputeRebelyell has a reputation beyond reputeRebelyell has a reputation beyond reputeRebelyell has a reputation beyond reputeRebelyell has a reputation beyond reputeRebelyell has a reputation beyond reputeRebelyell has a reputation beyond reputeRebelyell has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Do you have troubles in group situations?

I'm done w groups of people time to go my own way..
Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to Rebelyell For This Useful Post:
Little Missy (10-15-19)
  #15  
Old 10-15-19, 10:17 AM
Little Missy's Avatar
Little Missy Little Missy is offline
ADDvanced Forum ADDvocate
 

Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: BIG, Wonderful, Wyoming USA
Posts: 16,642
Thanks: 24,443
Thanked 22,381 Times in 12,052 Posts
Little Missy has a reputation beyond reputeLittle Missy has a reputation beyond reputeLittle Missy has a reputation beyond reputeLittle Missy has a reputation beyond reputeLittle Missy has a reputation beyond reputeLittle Missy has a reputation beyond reputeLittle Missy has a reputation beyond reputeLittle Missy has a reputation beyond reputeLittle Missy has a reputation beyond reputeLittle Missy has a reputation beyond reputeLittle Missy has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Do you have troubles in group situations?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Rebelyell View Post
I'm done w groups of people time to go my own way..
Yup. Ride a new bicycle.
__________________
The only true currency in this bankrupt world is what you share with someone else when you are uncool ~ Lester Bangs

And in the end, the love you take; is equal to the love you make...Beatles Abbey Road 1969
Reply With Quote
Reply

Bookmarks


Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 2 (1 members and 1 guests)
Clavius78
Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On
Forum Jump

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Dating in 2017 seems impossible, Staying in bad situations to avoid fresh rejection EG19682 Relationships & Social Issues 9 11-23-17 06:11 AM
what are the disorders that make up the autism spectrum disorders group? gabriela Aspergers/Autism Spectrum/PDD 10 02-23-17 08:05 PM
ADHD Support Group Meetups Laserfocus General ADD Talk 0 01-23-11 02:50 AM
Issue with a Non-ADD Spouse / Partner Support Group Leader moxee33 Relationships & Social Issues 39 10-13-04 10:45 AM


All times are GMT -4. The time now is 05:11 AM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.7.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2019, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
(c) 2003 - 2015 ADD Forums