ADD Forums - Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder Support and Information Resources Community  

Go Back   ADD Forums - Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder Support and Information Resources Community > ADULTS AND ADD/ADHD > Adults with ADD > General ADD Talk
Register Blogs FAQ Chat Members List Calendar Donate Gallery Arcade Mark Forums Read

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #1  
Old 01-01-18, 12:21 AM
Fraser_0762's Avatar
Fraser_0762 Fraser_0762 is online now
ADDvanced Forum ADDvocate
 
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Somewhere in the clouds?
Posts: 4,901
Thanks: 3,797
Thanked 5,936 Times in 2,880 Posts
Fraser_0762 has a reputation beyond reputeFraser_0762 has a reputation beyond reputeFraser_0762 has a reputation beyond reputeFraser_0762 has a reputation beyond reputeFraser_0762 has a reputation beyond reputeFraser_0762 has a reputation beyond reputeFraser_0762 has a reputation beyond reputeFraser_0762 has a reputation beyond reputeFraser_0762 has a reputation beyond reputeFraser_0762 has a reputation beyond reputeFraser_0762 has a reputation beyond repute
Unhappy I'm just a ghost

I always knew it was true. I'm not really alive. I'm just a wondering spirit in this world that people can't perceive.

I went out alone for new year, as the only alternative was to sit in the house alone and do nothing. So I went up town to hit the clubs. They were jam packed with people. But I knew in the back of my mind that despite this, I was still going to feel all alone. Tonight just confirmed it for me. Not one person acknowledged my existence. I looked at people, I smiled, I nodded at them, but only about 1 out of 100 people looked back. The ones that did were very quick to look away.

Is it possible to be so socially awkward that people hate you so much so quickly that they won't even acknowledge that you are there?

Am I better off dead? Because I feel like i'm already at the half way point and nobody can even see me.
Reply With Quote
The Following 6 Users Say Thank You to Fraser_0762 For This Useful Post:
aeon (01-01-18), ginniebean (01-01-18), kwalk (01-05-18), Little Missy (01-01-18), midnightstar (01-01-18), stef (01-01-18)
  #2  
Old 01-01-18, 01:04 AM
ginniebean's Avatar
ginniebean ginniebean is offline
ADDvanced Forum ADDvocate
 

Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: Canada
Posts: 11,785
Blog Entries: 27
Thanks: 22,957
Thanked 21,919 Times in 7,990 Posts
ginniebean has a reputation beyond reputeginniebean has a reputation beyond reputeginniebean has a reputation beyond reputeginniebean has a reputation beyond reputeginniebean has a reputation beyond reputeginniebean has a reputation beyond reputeginniebean has a reputation beyond reputeginniebean has a reputation beyond reputeginniebean has a reputation beyond reputeginniebean has a reputation beyond reputeginniebean has a reputation beyond repute
Re: I'm just a ghost

Oh sweetie, people are dicks. They are self absorbed, self interested and they don't hate you even if it feels that way. We have all been ghosts in the crowd and it is a wounding isolating feeling You are not alone in this

I wish there was more I could say to give you comfort. A blessed New Year for you.
Reply With Quote
The Following 5 Users Say Thank You to ginniebean For This Useful Post:
aeon (01-01-18), Fraser_0762 (01-01-18), Little Missy (01-01-18), Lunacie (01-01-18), stef (01-01-18)
  #3  
Old 01-01-18, 01:09 AM
WhiteOwl's Avatar
WhiteOwl WhiteOwl is offline
ADDvanced Contributor
 

Join Date: Sep 2017
Location: Texas, USA
Posts: 638
Thanks: 1,042
Thanked 1,175 Times in 507 Posts
WhiteOwl has much to be proud ofWhiteOwl has much to be proud ofWhiteOwl has much to be proud ofWhiteOwl has much to be proud ofWhiteOwl has much to be proud ofWhiteOwl has much to be proud ofWhiteOwl has much to be proud ofWhiteOwl has much to be proud of
Re: I'm just a ghost

You just went to the wrong clubs, Fraser, that's all. You need to party with your cool ADD friends, we wouldn't ignore you.

But to answer your questions, no. No one hates you and you are not better off dead. But I know what you mean about feeling like a ghost in a room full of people. That's how I always felt. In school, at clubs, etc. I think smiling and nodding is not assertive enough, I guess, so those of us who are shy and awkward doom ourselves to being ignored.

I'm sorry that was your New Years Eve experience. Those people missed out on talking to a great person. I'm sitting at home going through a bottle of wine. Not technically alone, as I have sleeping kids and my mom, but not exactly living it up, either. You don't have any family nearby?

Reply With Quote
The Following 6 Users Say Thank You to WhiteOwl For This Useful Post:
aeon (01-01-18), Fraser_0762 (01-01-18), ginniebean (01-01-18), Little Missy (01-01-18), Lunacie (01-01-18), stef (01-01-18)
Sponsored Links
  #4  
Old 01-01-18, 01:41 AM
aeon's Avatar
aeon aeon is offline
ADDvanced Forum ADDvocate
 

Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: Twin Cities, Minnesota
Posts: 7,778
Thanks: 23,336
Thanked 13,259 Times in 5,901 Posts
aeon has a reputation beyond reputeaeon has a reputation beyond reputeaeon has a reputation beyond reputeaeon has a reputation beyond reputeaeon has a reputation beyond reputeaeon has a reputation beyond reputeaeon has a reputation beyond reputeaeon has a reputation beyond reputeaeon has a reputation beyond reputeaeon has a reputation beyond reputeaeon has a reputation beyond repute
Re: I'm just a ghost

Fraser, if I was there we'd go out for a pint (or two) and you'd get to see how I engage and have vignettes and mini-adventures. I'm not the most socially skilled and I'm not the most handsome, but I have fun nonetheless.

A friend of mine who has always been fairly reserved and shy has seen how I do my thing, and it has led to some changes in their engagement style, and with positive results.

It's all selfish, mind you...I just love to see people smile, and I'm really quite shameless about my methods, which is okay, I suppose, because their smile is real, and people I see often have come to know my name, and seem to smile when they see me.

And I'm an ambivert at best, so don't think I'm so outside your reality.

Perhaps by your own measure you are socially awkward. Be careful about confirming your own bias. I've read enough of your posts here to know you're all that and a bag of chips, even if you aren't so sure about that.

There's time for haunting the moors later, you know.


Cheers,
Ian
__________________
@>~,~~'~ Voici mon secret. Il est trŤs simple: on ne voit bien qu'avec le cúur. L'essentiel est invisible pour les yeux.
Reply With Quote
The Following 5 Users Say Thank You to aeon For This Useful Post:
Fraser_0762 (01-01-18), kwalk (01-05-18), Little Missy (01-01-18), stef (01-01-18), WhiteOwl (01-01-18)
  #5  
Old 01-01-18, 01:58 AM
Ronelh Ronelh is offline
Member
 

Join Date: Sep 2017
Location: Chad, Africa
Posts: 69
Thanks: 34
Thanked 94 Times in 44 Posts
Ronelh has disabled reputation
Re: I'm just a ghost

Quote:
Originally Posted by Fraser_0762 View Post
Is it possible to be so socially awkward that people hate you so much so quickly that they won't even acknowledge that you are there?
Gracious, people canít hate you if they donít even know you and all youíve done is smile at them! Or if they do, they are making too hasty a judgment. But my guess is that no one there hates you. They were just busy with their own things.

No one could be more socially awkward than I was when I started college. I just didnít know how to interact in a group setting, and I got very frustrated with myself sometimes. But no one hated me, it just took me longer to make friends than it takes for most people. And in time, I began to learn better social skills... however awkward you are socially, it is a skill that can be improved with practice. So donít despair.

I donít know if this is true for you, but I learned that one reason people sometimes wouldnít talk to me at parties was because they thought I looked like I was engrossed in my own thoughts and didnít want to be bothered. As I have symptoms of inattentive-type ADHD, yeah, I do get pretty engrossed in my own thoughts, but actually I did want people to talk to me. But sometimes they didnít know it until I made an effort to talk to them first. Then I found out they actually enjoyed my company just fine, after all.
__________________
"It's this brain of mine, it's always making mistakes. It's got a mind of its own!" -Crutchy in the movie Newsies
Reply With Quote
The Following 8 Users Say Thank You to Ronelh For This Useful Post:
aeon (01-01-18), Fraser_0762 (01-01-18), Fuzzy12 (01-01-18), ginniebean (01-01-18), Little Missy (01-01-18), Lunacie (01-01-18), stef (01-01-18), WhiteOwl (01-01-18)
  #6  
Old 01-01-18, 04:32 AM
stef's Avatar
stef stef is offline
Zen moderator
 

Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: west of Paris
Posts: 18,067
Thanks: 35,220
Thanked 26,386 Times in 12,879 Posts
stef has a reputation beyond reputestef has a reputation beyond reputestef has a reputation beyond reputestef has a reputation beyond reputestef has a reputation beyond reputestef has a reputation beyond reputestef has a reputation beyond reputestef has a reputation beyond reputestef has a reputation beyond reputestef has a reputation beyond reputestef has a reputation beyond repute
Re: I'm just a ghost

Many years after high school, I learned from an old friend that some people thought I was a snob;
I couldn't even string a sentence together some days, I was so shy and intimidated.
Reply With Quote
The Following 7 Users Say Thank You to stef For This Useful Post:
aeon (01-01-18), Fraser_0762 (01-01-18), ginniebean (01-01-18), kwalk (01-05-18), Little Missy (01-01-18), Lunacie (01-01-18), The D (01-15-18)
  #7  
Old 01-01-18, 05:44 AM
Ronelh Ronelh is offline
Member
 

Join Date: Sep 2017
Location: Chad, Africa
Posts: 69
Thanks: 34
Thanked 94 Times in 44 Posts
Ronelh has disabled reputation
Re: I'm just a ghost

That’s what some people thought of me too, because I would get bored with ordinary small talk but would chatter away happily about the languages I was studying. I had to learn to make more of an effort to show interest in other subjects.
__________________
"It's this brain of mine, it's always making mistakes. It's got a mind of its own!" -Crutchy in the movie Newsies
Reply With Quote
The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to Ronelh For This Useful Post:
aeon (01-01-18), Fraser_0762 (01-01-18), ginniebean (01-01-18), Little Missy (01-01-18)
  #8  
Old 01-01-18, 09:17 AM
Little Missy's Avatar
Little Missy Little Missy is online now
ADDvanced Forum ADDvocate
 

Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: BIG, Wonderful, Wyoming USA
Posts: 14,500
Thanks: 21,362
Thanked 20,021 Times in 10,661 Posts
Little Missy has a reputation beyond reputeLittle Missy has a reputation beyond reputeLittle Missy has a reputation beyond reputeLittle Missy has a reputation beyond reputeLittle Missy has a reputation beyond reputeLittle Missy has a reputation beyond reputeLittle Missy has a reputation beyond reputeLittle Missy has a reputation beyond reputeLittle Missy has a reputation beyond reputeLittle Missy has a reputation beyond reputeLittle Missy has a reputation beyond repute
Re: I'm just a ghost

Get you passport and a plane ticket. NO ONE is shy here. Honest.
__________________
The only true currency in this bankrupt world is what you share with someone else when you are uncool ~ Lester Bangs

And in the end, the love you take; is equal to the love you make...Beatles Abbey Road 1969
Reply With Quote
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to Little Missy For This Useful Post:
aeon (01-01-18), Fraser_0762 (01-01-18), ginniebean (01-01-18)
  #9  
Old 01-01-18, 09:28 AM
Fraser_0762's Avatar
Fraser_0762 Fraser_0762 is online now
ADDvanced Forum ADDvocate
 
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Somewhere in the clouds?
Posts: 4,901
Thanks: 3,797
Thanked 5,936 Times in 2,880 Posts
Fraser_0762 has a reputation beyond reputeFraser_0762 has a reputation beyond reputeFraser_0762 has a reputation beyond reputeFraser_0762 has a reputation beyond reputeFraser_0762 has a reputation beyond reputeFraser_0762 has a reputation beyond reputeFraser_0762 has a reputation beyond reputeFraser_0762 has a reputation beyond reputeFraser_0762 has a reputation beyond reputeFraser_0762 has a reputation beyond reputeFraser_0762 has a reputation beyond repute
Re: I'm just a ghost

Quote:
Originally Posted by Little Missy View Post
Get you passport and a plane ticket. NO ONE is shy here. Honest.
I am though. So while everybody else is busy being chatty with everybody else, i'd be completely invisible. Just as I am here.
Reply With Quote
The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to Fraser_0762 For This Useful Post:
aeon (01-01-18), ginniebean (01-01-18), kwalk (01-05-18), Little Missy (01-01-18)
  #10  
Old 01-01-18, 09:31 AM
Little Missy's Avatar
Little Missy Little Missy is online now
ADDvanced Forum ADDvocate
 

Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: BIG, Wonderful, Wyoming USA
Posts: 14,500
Thanks: 21,362
Thanked 20,021 Times in 10,661 Posts
Little Missy has a reputation beyond reputeLittle Missy has a reputation beyond reputeLittle Missy has a reputation beyond reputeLittle Missy has a reputation beyond reputeLittle Missy has a reputation beyond reputeLittle Missy has a reputation beyond reputeLittle Missy has a reputation beyond reputeLittle Missy has a reputation beyond reputeLittle Missy has a reputation beyond reputeLittle Missy has a reputation beyond reputeLittle Missy has a reputation beyond repute
Re: I'm just a ghost

Quote:
Originally Posted by Fraser_0762 View Post
I am though. So while everybody else is busy being chatty with everybody else, i'd be completely invisible. Just as I am here.
Nope. They crawl all over the new guy.
__________________
The only true currency in this bankrupt world is what you share with someone else when you are uncool ~ Lester Bangs

And in the end, the love you take; is equal to the love you make...Beatles Abbey Road 1969
Reply With Quote
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to Little Missy For This Useful Post:
aeon (01-01-18), Fraser_0762 (01-01-18), ginniebean (01-01-18)
  #11  
Old 01-01-18, 10:24 AM
Barbrady1 Barbrady1 is online now
ADDvanced Member
 

Join Date: Mar 2017
Location: Kent, UK
Posts: 135
Thanks: 32
Thanked 38 Times in 29 Posts
Barbrady1 is on a distinguished road
Re: I'm just a ghost

I'm terribly sorry this happened to you but aren't you somewhat contradicting yourself?

In a different thread, I believe you stated that you are happy to be alone and do not need friends.
Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to Barbrady1 For This Useful Post:
Fraser_0762 (01-01-18)
  #12  
Old 01-01-18, 10:26 AM
Fraser_0762's Avatar
Fraser_0762 Fraser_0762 is online now
ADDvanced Forum ADDvocate
 
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Somewhere in the clouds?
Posts: 4,901
Thanks: 3,797
Thanked 5,936 Times in 2,880 Posts
Fraser_0762 has a reputation beyond reputeFraser_0762 has a reputation beyond reputeFraser_0762 has a reputation beyond reputeFraser_0762 has a reputation beyond reputeFraser_0762 has a reputation beyond reputeFraser_0762 has a reputation beyond reputeFraser_0762 has a reputation beyond reputeFraser_0762 has a reputation beyond reputeFraser_0762 has a reputation beyond reputeFraser_0762 has a reputation beyond reputeFraser_0762 has a reputation beyond repute
Re: I'm just a ghost

Quote:
Originally Posted by Barbrady1 View Post
I'm terribly sorry this happened to you but aren't you somewhat contradicting yourself?

In a different thread, I believe you stated that you are happy to be alone and do not need friends.
Yep, that's exactly what i'm doing. I have to be happy being alone, because I can't see an alternative.
Reply With Quote
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Fraser_0762 For This Useful Post:
aeon (01-01-18), ginniebean (01-01-18)
  #13  
Old 01-01-18, 10:54 AM
Barbrady1 Barbrady1 is online now
ADDvanced Member
 

Join Date: Mar 2017
Location: Kent, UK
Posts: 135
Thanks: 32
Thanked 38 Times in 29 Posts
Barbrady1 is on a distinguished road
Re: I'm just a ghost

Quote:
Originally Posted by Fraser_0762 View Post
Yep, that's exactly what i'm doing. I have to be happy being alone, because I can't see an alternative.
Do you not socialise at the gym at all, Fraser?

I'm thinking about joining one soon but getting back into shape wouldn't be my only aim if I do sign up to be a member with a local gym.

I can understand your difficult in befriending others as most people in their twenties seemingly have an established circle in place.

Perhaps we don't all 'need' friends but it's inevitably going to have an impact on your self-esteem and quality of life if you struggle to relate to other people.
Reply With Quote
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to Barbrady1 For This Useful Post:
aeon (01-01-18), Fraser_0762 (01-01-18), ginniebean (01-01-18)
  #14  
Old 01-01-18, 11:19 AM
Little Missy's Avatar
Little Missy Little Missy is online now
ADDvanced Forum ADDvocate
 

Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: BIG, Wonderful, Wyoming USA
Posts: 14,500
Thanks: 21,362
Thanked 20,021 Times in 10,661 Posts
Little Missy has a reputation beyond reputeLittle Missy has a reputation beyond reputeLittle Missy has a reputation beyond reputeLittle Missy has a reputation beyond reputeLittle Missy has a reputation beyond reputeLittle Missy has a reputation beyond reputeLittle Missy has a reputation beyond reputeLittle Missy has a reputation beyond reputeLittle Missy has a reputation beyond reputeLittle Missy has a reputation beyond reputeLittle Missy has a reputation beyond repute
Re: I'm just a ghost

That can't be right because the song says: 'as long as I'm a ghost you can see.'
__________________
The only true currency in this bankrupt world is what you share with someone else when you are uncool ~ Lester Bangs

And in the end, the love you take; is equal to the love you make...Beatles Abbey Road 1969
Reply With Quote
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to Little Missy For This Useful Post:
aeon (01-01-18), Fraser_0762 (01-01-18), ginniebean (01-01-18)
  #15  
Old 01-01-18, 11:32 AM
Fraser_0762's Avatar
Fraser_0762 Fraser_0762 is online now
ADDvanced Forum ADDvocate
 
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Somewhere in the clouds?
Posts: 4,901
Thanks: 3,797
Thanked 5,936 Times in 2,880 Posts
Fraser_0762 has a reputation beyond reputeFraser_0762 has a reputation beyond reputeFraser_0762 has a reputation beyond reputeFraser_0762 has a reputation beyond reputeFraser_0762 has a reputation beyond reputeFraser_0762 has a reputation beyond reputeFraser_0762 has a reputation beyond reputeFraser_0762 has a reputation beyond reputeFraser_0762 has a reputation beyond reputeFraser_0762 has a reputation beyond reputeFraser_0762 has a reputation beyond repute
Re: I'm just a ghost

Quote:
Originally Posted by Barbrady1 View Post
Do you not socialise at the gym at all, Fraser?
I think I scare people at the gym. I'm like a wild tiger when I get the blood flowing and the muscles pumping. The only time anyone makes eye contact is when they look concerned lol.
Reply With Quote
The Following 5 Users Say Thank You to Fraser_0762 For This Useful Post:
aeon (01-01-18), Barbrady1 (01-01-18), ginniebean (01-01-18), Little Missy (01-01-18), stef (01-01-18)
Reply

Bookmarks


Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On
Forum Jump

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
The ghost of Christmas Past ADHDTigger General ADD Talk 24 12-27-11 08:35 AM
A Ghost in my PC? Ancient Music Chit-Chat 15 03-25-05 08:00 AM
Ghost Stories Or Haunted Places, Anyone? Draga Chit-Chat 6 09-02-04 01:46 AM


All times are GMT -4. The time now is 09:15 AM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.7.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2018, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
(c) 2003 - 2015 ADD Forums