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  #136  
Old 05-29-11, 09:15 PM
peripatetic peripatetic is offline
 
 

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Re: eshperiful...in memoriam

lavie,

thank you so much not just for these, but the frequent doses of shaney you send my way. the man loved me boundlessly and posted so prolifically that there are sooooo many i didn't see at the time. not to mention the entire threads he started.

i saw this limerick immediately after the one you quoted (which, this one, i hadn't seen):
Quote:
Originally Posted by EshkaronsEngine View Post
In order to b eidetic
1 must know peripatetic
She muses deeply
and listens completely
and soon you'll be magnetic.
i love, love, love the song!!! oh...our man was music and poetry embodied, was he not i still miss him so much...daily...all the ****ing time...but i do have him with me and can't thank you enough, dear friend, for your posts, messages and texts ever leading me back to the beauty and joy a little more and the sorrow and loss a little less when i lose my way. you know how grateful he is, somewhere, and how grateful i am, for you
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  #137  
Old 05-30-11, 10:41 PM
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Re: eshperiful...in memoriam

v
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  #138  
Old 06-21-11, 10:46 AM
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Re: eshperiful...in memoriam

Happy Birthday, Esh.
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  #139  
Old 06-21-11, 10:59 AM
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Re: eshperiful...in memoriam

Happy Birthday my friend.
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  #140  
Old 06-21-11, 04:09 PM
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Re: eshperiful...in memoriam

I havent the words to say, i havent the songs to sing, we just miss you Esh ,may you be partying with the angels. Happy Birthday x
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  #141  
Old 06-22-11, 02:25 PM
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Re: eshperiful...in memoriam

I wasn't near any wifi yesterday to come on here and wish ya a Happy Birthday,Esh,but as I passed the beautiful mountains reaching up to the sky I thought of you and wished you were still around,buddy.
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  #142  
Old 06-22-11, 07:53 PM
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Re: eshperiful...in memoriam

Happy Birthday esh may you no longer suffer any more pain-plays the dance for Esh from garth brooks
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  #143  
Old 06-23-11, 02:31 PM
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Re: eshperiful...in memoriam

I know it was Shane's birthday a few days back. It still tears me up. Happy Birthday Shane!
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  #144  
Old 06-24-11, 07:27 AM
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Re: eshperiful...in memoriam

Happy Birthday Esh,Shaney x
Day after my babies mumma,

Am shocked that you have gone,and surprised.
Felt as though i understood you quite well.....even more now.

Such a telented and gifted man,especially in music and with your horoscopes thread.You were so accurate with mine,blew me away.

Don't like coming back and finding this out.

Sorry Peri,your a great friend.....wish i had got to know Esh better myself.

It's so upsetting that one who can bring so much can be taken away.

It's not fair

Going to miss you Shaney x
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Last edited by doiadhd; 06-24-11 at 07:34 AM.. Reason: Why Eshk.
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  #145  
Old 06-26-11, 12:52 PM
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Re: eshperiful...in memoriam

oh doi i'd not intended to break the news to you this way. you know he loved you so much and enjoyed all of your posts and thought of you often. i emailed you ...but apparently botched the send...just found it as a "draft"...along with hobble's :-(

feck

i did good though once and have decided to mention it here (was in my ridiculously super longie emotionally overwrought email "draft" that i'll edit to standard longie and send at some point...).

you remember that one time we were hanging out on here and i'd just learned of his musical talent? he'd told me about the muse thread he started with all of the videos of him singing and i was like, "holy ****, doi! esk can sing really well" and sent you link? those that were made on his droid (which didn't do his voice justice...i mean, the recording i linked here from 199-something on a ghetto blaster is much closer to how he sounded "live"). anyway, we were talking about how his voice resonated and i'll never forget your comment that it had something. that it sticks with you...that even after the video finished it was like he was right outside your door.

so, fast forward to march. i was encouraging him to play more and he mentioned the possibility of getting a busking license so he could play throughout his city. he had to audition for it though...and they gave him a spot to do so about a week out. he'd never been one to "practice"...even as a kid his piano teacher said he was talented, but never practiced, etc, etc. well, he practiced a lot for the audition. still, the day of...he suggested my appreciation was...aberrant. sincere. but unique and possibly biased toward seeing the best in spite of it not being all that good more objectively.

i told him that snippet of our conversation. that you'd also thought he had something special...your comment about his voice lingering. that it wasn't just me who thought him impressive. i **** you not, sweets, he took it to heart. said he knew you wouldn't say it without meaning it and respected your opinion a lot. he blew them away at the audition, of course.

it's been so hard with him gone...a lot of us are still quite raw with grief...still feeling how you feel having just heard. just so you know you're not alone there.

love you doi, as always

x...pp
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  #146  
Old 06-30-11, 08:26 PM
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Re: eshperiful...in memoriam

I have not spoken openly in response to the news of Shaneys passing for no words can add or subtract from his life - I was not real close but I did get to know him off site He liked to discuss spiritual matters.

I don't believe in death but transition - He is no longer in a form we can converse with in the physical but his energies will always be part those whom he interacted. Energy is never destroyed in only changes forms - His spirit has been release from the physical body and it's chemical ups and downs. Spiritually he is home.

Nothing I say changes any thing and words for me are hard -

I was blessed to have been allowed to share time with him some folks never got that chance.
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  #147  
Old 07-11-11, 04:04 PM
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Re: eshperiful...in memoriam

There is a "smut filter" here that tries its electronic heart out to stop us from using language that is not permitted. I know that there are ways around this filter but will try my beating heart out to not use them. To do less would result in a post filled with asterisks and probable banning- I have learned that there are times and situations that beg for a thoughtful string of profanity.

This is one of those times.

Today is the first time I have been on the board in over two months. Right now I am trying to not succumb to the need to feel guilty because I wasn't able to be here two months ago. Truthfully, I could have said nothing to make anything different or better, but would have had an opportunity to stand next to my friend while she started out on the terrible journey that is grieving the loss of part of your soul. It's a route I know only too well.

One of the things that I learned quickly is that some people can speak to loss in a way that is a balm to the tattered soul. I'm not one of those. In grief, eloquence escapes me and all I can see or feel or speak to is the gaping hole left by the loss of one gone too soon that- for me- seems to only find expression in the sobs that leave you believing that the sorrow is too much to bear and must surely be deadly.

Dearest Peri, I won't ply you with convenient platitudes that don't reflect how I feel or are somehow "correct". I will simply tell you honestly and sincerely that I don't know what to say. This means that you now have the floor to tell me anything you wish with the knowledge that I will listen. My experience has been that knowing who I could share with is a gift.



Stop all the clocks, cut off the telephone,
Prevent the dog from barking with the juicy bone.
Silence the pianos and, with muffled drum,
Bring out the coffin. Let the mourners come.

Let aeroplanes circle moaning overhead
Scribbling in the sky the message: “He is dead!”
Put crepe bows around the white necks of the public doves.
Let the traffic policemen wear black cotton gloves.

He was my north, my south, my east and west,
My working week and Sunday rest,
My noon, my midnight, my talk, my song.
I thought that love would last forever; I was wrong.

The stars are not wanted now; put out every one.
Pack up the moon and dismantle the sun.
Pour away the ocean and sweep up the woods.
For nothing now can come to any good.

W.H. Auden

Esh- I get it. I just wish...
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  #148  
Old 07-11-11, 04:39 PM
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Re: eshperiful...in memoriam

i love you, tig. there's much to say...and i'm so grateful to have you back around. i, too, am at a loss for words at present (but we both know that never lasts long), so i'll just say what i know for certain: i've missed you and thought of you often, thought of the loss you've faced and known that i wanted to spare you hearing...but that your hearing would reunite us in an inexplicable and incomparable way. your strength gives me strength, as will your voice when i hear it in the near future
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  #149  
Old 07-11-11, 09:19 PM
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Re: eshperiful...in memoriam

I know this will probably make you cry and this isnt my intention to do so .I saw your photo and you and Esh made a good looking couple.Some people when you look at them they look like they belong together and you guys were 1 of them.1 again my deepest sorrows and prayers go out to you.
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  #150  
Old 07-12-11, 06:34 AM
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Re: eshperiful...in memoriam

thank you so much, rebel yeah...i did well up...but in gratitude for having had what time i did, and your kind thoughts.

best to you always
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