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  #16  
Old 09-19-13, 10:14 PM
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Re: Bipolar and ADHD--any personal experiences? Would LOVE to hear!

Sarahsweets sure said it all.
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Old 11-25-13, 09:17 AM
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Re: Bipolar and ADHD--any personal experiences? Would LOVE to hear!

I dont remember a time which I a havn't been attention deficit. Since the age of 3 I've always been a little wacky around other kids. I found school hard and easy at the same time. Sometime it would be the longest grind and others I'd be the peepiest.... and in hindsight.. the most outspokenly enthusiatic kid. That was always me. I could and still do not read. I've read a handful of book in my life. I also find it VERY hard mataining focus listening and doing tedious work; much like the friction of a grinding stone. Funniest thing was my parents told me that my high school though i was the special kid. Well in many way.

First Signs

When I began high school, I started a film society ( that got disbanded in 6 monts)and was the president of my class for 5 years. Really because i was the only wacky kid who wanted the resposiblity. When I was 15 years old, my parents marital confict threw me into an irratic depression. I was off and I didn't know why. I couldn't sleep and I had to protect my parents from killing each other. I declined quickly and was angry, guilty and depressed and was hospitalised for the first time in chirstmas. The hospital help me cool off;wierd that being away from my parents(stressors) help me pull myself together. I was diagosed as Authority Defient, which in hindsing is an excellent marker for ADD and Bipolar. Looking at it then, I was kinda ****** that i was diagnosed with angry kid disease.

Bipolar Diagnosis
It took a year in a comunity collge to find out that i wasn't dumb, or dumb in the way others treated me. With some support from saner and more supportive family member; they convinced me to apply to a real university.

My first year away from familial support was...... turbulent. My first year's grades where ok with all the letters of the alphabet. I started doing dumber and dumber things in school. Like growing pot in my dorm which i was caught for. I didn't like smoking it i just wanted to grow it.

I got kicked out of residence and i believe i had my first hypomanic episode. no sleep, risky behaviour, feeling great. But it wouldn't end then it did. Moderate Depression.... long and consistent and chronic. Whenever i get depressed i wish i was dead.... just so i could get a good night sleep. I would streetch from weeks to sometimes months. With ever progressively failing grades and inconsistancy with mood. My GP sent me to a mood clinic and in 3-4 months they had me diagnosed with Bipolar II. I was a relief.

Stability
Fast foward 4 years and I'm 24. I've droped out of school the previous year and started working. I learned to put up with pressure and for 5 months am the most consistant in my life. Strict sleeping and eating scheduals and medicine taking (Lithium) and (Seriquil) for sleep. I get fired and fall into a bit of a depression, can barely hold down a job or pay the rent but living around close group of friends helps.

A few months later i was recomended strattera by a friend and the change was instatanious. I could listen to people and empathise with them. I couldn't really do that before and I still don't do it 100 percent but the best way to explain it was it could see when priviously i couldn't. I was patient, kinder and much more attentive to my friends. I also started exercisng allot and allot harder. I've put on allot of lean bulk since and I'm going to try and compete in my city's bodybuild circuit. Its just been a stupid dream for the last 6 months, I want to show the bodybuilder in my country that you can do it natural and do it better.

It's been 5 months since strattera(40mg) and what i can say is that it's changed my life. Much of the attention benefits from straterra have dissipated but I feel more like what i ought to but there's still work to do. It gives me much much more control over mania and depression has not been an issue. Which is still amazing. I'm back in school studying full time but i find it very very very hard to focus. I want to beable to focus and to commit to a task. I want to achieve personal projects, I want to be as close to 100 % as possible.


Now I'm seeing a psychiatist and he and I are trying to find out what we can supplement without upsetting mania. He was thinking on trying me on Ritilin next month after he observes more consistancy in mood. As frustrating as that is he is right. Now I'm thinking that he might put be on modafilnil/provigil instead as it might be the safer alternative with greater effect.

But for now, I'm happy, not depressed.
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Old 12-01-13, 05:53 AM
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Re: Bipolar and ADHD--any personal experiences? Would LOVE to hear!

I've started a baby dose ritlin (5mg when needed)for the last 3 days.

It feels like i've grown up. I rember saying about 10 years ago I felt like a 8 cylinder car forced to dive at 3. When force to go faster, the machine would simply break.

I'm on a mini dose of ritlin and so far it helps trendously with studing and impusivity. Studying for two hours now gets as much work done as studying for 5 days....... I feel like i can get to my 8 cylinders when i need to.

I feel sharp but I also know I have to keep to strict structure; add is like the antithesis to structure. The crash is a bit to get use to but what the medication proves that the realm of significantly better exists.

Now, the gauntlet is to see what else i can try safely while maintaining and in possible imroving my symptoms.

Will post again next week
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Old 03-22-14, 05:12 AM
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Re: Bipolar and ADHD--any personal experiences? Would LOVE to hear!

I was initially diagnosed with bipolar disorder, for some years before another psychiatrist who saw me changed (or add on) the diagnosis to ADD. Despite my inability to sleep (I fluctuate from sleeping all the time to zero sleeping for days) but I wasn't very enthusiastic with my bipolar treatment and started to skip my visits until I went quite crappy and unable to function normally and went to the doctor to 'continue' treatment. After the interview, he decided to put me on concerta, even though my initial complain was I couldn't sleep for days (to the point that my head is losing all forms of concentration) and obviously the medication is known to cause people to suffer insomnia. A month after that I told him I was functioning very well, but I still have sleep problems (although concerta made me able to concentrate it doesnt take care of the headaches that lack of sleep gives, nor does it eliminate occasional hallucinations; I used to think they were real, but I begin to realize that not all that I have heard or seen, were actually real - and I know that lack of sleep usually triggers them; the ability to acknowledge/recognized that they were hallucinations wasn't that easy either) eventually I was prescribed concerta and ritalin in the day, and seroquel to help me sleep in the night. What do I really have, I don't really know already. Perhaps due to a part of me not sticking the ADD label well enough, and the other being I don't know if bipolarism or something else was the reason for my insomnia and occasional hallucinations.
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Old 04-16-14, 11:00 PM
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Re: Bipolar and ADHD--any personal experiences? Would LOVE to hear!

While both conditions are untreated, every decision you attempt to make in your life is like trying to hit rapidly-moving targets while standing on a moving platform using a shoddy bow, and you are oftentimes surrounded by people talking about how they successfully hit immobile targets from solid ground.
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Old 10-16-16, 03:16 PM
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Re: Bipolar and ADHD--any personal experiences? Would LOVE to hear!

Quote:
Originally Posted by BellaVita View Post
Hey everyone...not sure how to word this, but it's been on my mind for quite some time...

I hope these questions aren't offensive in any way, but I am truly interested in this and any info I can get in regards to this topic.

What's it like to live with Bipolar disorder and ADHD? I'd love to hear any personal experiences/stories/whatever you feel comfortable sharing.

I really look up to all of you, I myself have ADHD-C and I can not imagine what it must be like to have both. To live with both on a day-to-day basis...baffles my mind! You all are amazing!! Like I'm for real!!

Thank you sooo much in advance for anything you have to share.
Hi, Bellavita,

I am here for similar reasons as yourself; I'd really love to hear stories from folks who are both Bipolar and ADHD, like me.

I am 28 years old currently, and was originally diagnosed with ADHD at the age of 8. No treatment was pursued. When I my parents encountered extreme difficulty with my behavior around 13-14, I was taken to a psychologist again, but this time was diagnosed with Bipolar II. Again, no treatment was pursued.

I wound up dropping out of high school, and eventually (to make an extremely long story short) went to community college. I transferred to Clemson University for engineering at age 24 (worked my way up from three classes below college level algebra, and was immensely proud of myself), and decided to check in with the campus shrink because of my inability to concentrate.

He diagnosed with me ADHD. I dropped out of Clemson because I was so terrified of such a large, intelligent student body (no self confidence academically), and returned home to resume classes at the community college.

My primary care doc prescribed me 40mg of Adderall/day (I am 95 pounds) in order to help the focus issue. Well, instead helping, she sent me into one of the deepest depressions I have ever encountered. I became suicidal, and fantasized so much about dying that I was scared for my own life.(many, many strange things were happening to me. I was hallucinating, losing muscle mass, becoming more OCD.)

I quit Adderall cold turkey (bad idea), and less than a week later, in the middle of a semester, packed up all of my backpacking gear, put it in the car, and drove off at 2am. I drove all the way from my house in Gainesville, Florida (at the time) to Aspen, Colorado.

I fell in love with the people in Colorado and moved there, only going back to Florida long enough to get my things(all happening inside of 3 weeks).

I failed all of my classes in Florida. I had had a 3.84 GPA, and in one swoop, it fell to 2.23. I lost all confidence in my capabilities. I took two years off of school after moving.

Now, I'm in school again. And, I've tried treatment for my ADHD again (which was nerve-wracking given my experience), and again, kept hitting dead ends. Finally, I switched docs and was diagnosed with ADHD and Bipolar II.

All in all, I feel like:
1. Meds are never going to help because no one can find the right cocktail. In addition, they make me feel like crap. I have headaches, abdominal pain, and nausea all.the.time.
2. Generally, I feel caught in a state of identity crisis. My BD moods cycle fairly quickly, and I have ADHD mood swings in between. I'm either extremely [i]on[i] or completely off. In my normal state, I'm an incredibly open minded person who is very accepting of others and self confident, in other states I am petty, jealous, and nasty. All of which leave me feeling ashamed of myself.
3. I am aware of my intelligence and instability, and I'm also aware that the two together have led to my being undereducated and underemployed. It's a point of tension for me.
4. My mother was diagnosed with BD in the 70s, but was never treated. Growing up with her (she was also an addict) was turbulent, dark, and wild to say the least. It makes me wonder if I actually have BD or if I am "mirroring" the behaviors I learned.

I don't really know where things are headed for me yet. I'm still working with my docs to find the best med combo for me (though Lithium is wonderful). I'm also still trying to learn whether or not behaviors ABCD... are caused by BD or the ADHD, but something tells me I'll spend my whole life wondering.

Sam
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Old 03-07-17, 12:25 PM
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Re: Bipolar and ADHD--any personal experiences? Would LOVE to hear!

BP1 w/psychotic features & ADD...fun stuff :/ Initially I thought pfft ADD trouble focusing disorganised..eh, no biggie. The BP scared me, i researched endlessly, but wondered why this remission was not happening. I've just recently realized ADD has caused more problems than the BP. This was why i never felt normal/in remission due to ADD. Also having both makes each condition worse...so yea...fun times.
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Old 03-29-17, 04:44 AM
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Thumbs down Re: Bipolar and ADHD--any personal experiences? Would LOVE to hear!

BP 1 w/psychotic episodes, GAD, PTSD....FUN TIMES ! When I was dx BP i was glad that i wasn't just a wackjob who could'nt handle life aka self medicating for years! Which has made my BP worse. Also BP & ADD have many of the same symptoms, memory loss, impulsivity, executive function impairment, anxiety...so having both sux as BP makes the ADD worse & vice versa. I used to wonder why i never experienced this so called "remission" from BP where you have normal mood. This was before i knew the extent of problems ADD caused. We all have crosses to bear, i can see, hear, walk etc. things can always be worse. And my sense of humor helps a great deal! Making fun of my behaviors and being able to laugh at the absurdity of it all rocks, if i couldnt do that i think id never be able to stop crying. So yeah, it blows, but you just have to accept it is what it is, and try to make the best of it!
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