ADD Forums - Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder Support and Information Resources Community  

Go Back   ADD Forums - Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder Support and Information Resources Community > ADULTS AND ADD/ADHD > Adult Diagnosis & Treatment
Register Blogs FAQ Chat Members List Calendar Donate Gallery Arcade Mark Forums Read

Adult Diagnosis & Treatment This forum is for the discussion of issues related to the diagnosis of AD/HD

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #31  
Old 03-20-17, 12:16 PM
mctavish23 mctavish23 is offline
 

Join Date: Sep 2003
Location: USA
Posts: 5,978
Thanks: 13,479
Thanked 9,899 Times in 3,112 Posts
mctavish23 has disabled reputation
Re: is ADHD just me making excuses for my faults?

Hopefully this might help ya'll some...

When I was diagnosed in 1972 (at 22yo) with MBD (Minimal Brain Damage), which ADHD was called back then,

and subsequently placed on stimulants before starting grad school (on probation, due to terrible GRE's), I went

from 9F's in HS & Undergrad, including never having made the B Honor Roll, to Dean's List in a Clinical Psych.

grad. program. On top of all that, I wasn't even a Psych. major in college.

What I told my parent's afterwards, including after the 4.0 the following quarter, was... "Don't you think I'd have

done this sooner if I could have ?" At that point, I think they first started to "get it." It still took a while, and required

some constant "reminders," but they finally recognized ADHD for the devastating invisible disorder it is.


mctavish23
Reply With Quote
The Following 5 Users Say Thank You to mctavish23 For This Useful Post:
aeon (03-20-17), ajaxblu (03-21-17), Lunacie (03-20-17), stef (03-20-17), tearsong (03-20-17)
  #32  
Old 03-20-17, 02:08 PM
dvdnvwls dvdnvwls is offline
Mr. BllVt
 

Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Anywhere I can
Posts: 14,235
Thanks: 1,226
Thanked 17,319 Times in 8,639 Posts
dvdnvwls has a reputation beyond reputedvdnvwls has a reputation beyond reputedvdnvwls has a reputation beyond reputedvdnvwls has a reputation beyond reputedvdnvwls has a reputation beyond reputedvdnvwls has a reputation beyond reputedvdnvwls has a reputation beyond reputedvdnvwls has a reputation beyond reputedvdnvwls has a reputation beyond reputedvdnvwls has a reputation beyond reputedvdnvwls has a reputation beyond repute
Re: is ADHD just me making excuses for my faults?

Quote:
Originally Posted by tearsong View Post
With that said, I'm asking myself the same question as the post-title right now...

'How do I know if I'm just being lazy, or if a particular thing is a result of ADHD-I? Or am I just making excuses for not getting started on [insert task]?'
What happens when people act as if you're lazy? Actual laziness is fixed by the way people treat you when they think you're lazy - that's why they do that. Does your "laziness" get fixed by the proverbial kick in the ***? If not, it's probably something else.
__________________
Postmodernism, the school of 'thought' that proclaimed 'There are no truths, only interpretations' has largely played itself out in absurdity, but it has left behind a generation of academics in the humanities disabled by their distrust of the very idea of truth and their disrespect for evidence, settling for 'conversations' in which nobody is wrong and nothing can be confirmed, only asserted with whatever style you can muster.
Reply With Quote
  #33  
Old 03-20-17, 03:30 PM
ajaxblu ajaxblu is offline
Member
 

Join Date: Feb 2017
Location: Fort Wayne, IN USA
Posts: 86
Thanks: 94
Thanked 63 Times in 39 Posts
ajaxblu has a spectacular aura aboutajaxblu has a spectacular aura about
Re: is ADHD just me making excuses for my faults?

Quote:
Originally Posted by ToneTone View Post
You say you know some people who use the ADHD diagnosis as a badge of some type.

Can you say more ... because this is extremely strange. No one in our society gets any respect based on announcing that they have ADHD. We don't get any plus points from employers or teachers or family members. Employers can fire ADHD people whose symptoms interfere with good work. It's that simple. Teachers (I am one) can and do flunk people with ADHD.

I'm extremely open about the condition, but I rarely share the diagnosis with people anymore because whenever I do, there is always a yawn of absolute and total disinterest, if not skepticism.

There just isn't much sympathy for people with ADHD and our struggles. Like none.

So are you sure these people who have shared the condition are getting some kind of positive feedback? I don't get it. People with ADHD have higher levels of accidents, injuries, car accidents, falls, and every negative metric you can imagine. And no one feels sorry for us based on that.

The point of a diagnosis is to help us understand our brain enough to be able to minimize symptoms and get meds that minimize symptoms.

Tone




Thanks - I understand what you're saying and I probably wasn't clear.


What Iím referring to is people who donít have ADHD, but claim to, for purposes of sympathy, attention or access to meds. The same goes of parents who claim the same of their kids for the same purposes.



It happens.



A kid continually acts like a brat and her perfectly coiffed well-rested mom says itís okay, she has ADHD; when what she really needs is more discipline or more time with mom and dad. Meanwhile there are many kids like ours who actually DO have ADHD, whose parents are exhausted in their efforts to help them, and whose hyperactivity or inattention do not cause them to act like brats, but to be misunderstood.


An overworked office worker or college student claims they have ADHD to get meds when they actually just need a break.


A workaholic frantically asks for a rush job on his Starbucks because he has ADHD and heís late getting his report to his boss; then I see him relaxing in his car in the next parking lot over reading the paper, sipping his latte.


Now I understand theyíre all not trying to scam people. Our world is made of all different personalities and Iím sure some of those people are legitimately ADHD and Iíve not given them the benefit of the doubt.



But for the most part, I prefer not to tell people that my kid has ADHD, or that I might have it. If my kid appears rude to someone or if I was running late Ė hey thatís on us. Yeah, it might be due to ADHD, or ODD, but Iíd be mortified and unless I have to defend my kid or myself, the less others know, the better.
Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to ajaxblu For This Useful Post:
mctavish23 (03-20-17)
Sponsored Links
  #34  
Old 03-20-17, 03:46 PM
dvdnvwls dvdnvwls is offline
Mr. BllVt
 

Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Anywhere I can
Posts: 14,235
Thanks: 1,226
Thanked 17,319 Times in 8,639 Posts
dvdnvwls has a reputation beyond reputedvdnvwls has a reputation beyond reputedvdnvwls has a reputation beyond reputedvdnvwls has a reputation beyond reputedvdnvwls has a reputation beyond reputedvdnvwls has a reputation beyond reputedvdnvwls has a reputation beyond reputedvdnvwls has a reputation beyond reputedvdnvwls has a reputation beyond reputedvdnvwls has a reputation beyond reputedvdnvwls has a reputation beyond repute
Re: is ADHD just me making excuses for my faults?

ajaxblu: You're making a fundamental mistake. You're confusing other people's likes and dislikes (plus your own likes and dislikes) with figuring out what's true or false.

Both categories, like/dislike and true/false, are important in their own ways. I'm not saying the like/dislike thing doesn't matter, because obviously it does. But mixing up the two categories is bad for everyone.
__________________
Postmodernism, the school of 'thought' that proclaimed 'There are no truths, only interpretations' has largely played itself out in absurdity, but it has left behind a generation of academics in the humanities disabled by their distrust of the very idea of truth and their disrespect for evidence, settling for 'conversations' in which nobody is wrong and nothing can be confirmed, only asserted with whatever style you can muster.
Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to dvdnvwls For This Useful Post:
ajaxblu (03-21-17)
  #35  
Old 03-21-17, 12:31 PM
ajaxblu ajaxblu is offline
Member
 

Join Date: Feb 2017
Location: Fort Wayne, IN USA
Posts: 86
Thanks: 94
Thanked 63 Times in 39 Posts
ajaxblu has a spectacular aura aboutajaxblu has a spectacular aura about
Re: is ADHD just me making excuses for my faults?

Quote:
Originally Posted by dvdnvwls View Post
Does your "laziness" get fixed by the proverbial kick in the ***? If not, it's probably something else.

Mine does. It doesn't last very long but someone redirecting me to get my a** in gear jump-starts me back to what I should be doing for a while. Hence, the doubt.

However, the more time I spend on this forum and on Additude articles and talking to others, the more I realize that I really do probably have ADHD, and it's not just me making excuses for not getting stuff done.
Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to ajaxblu For This Useful Post:
Lunacie (03-21-17)
  #36  
Old 03-21-17, 01:33 PM
Postulate Postulate is offline
Suspended Account
 
Join Date: Jan 2017
Location: Canada
Posts: 334
Thanks: 113
Thanked 74 Times in 64 Posts
Postulate is infamous around these partsPostulate is infamous around these parts
Re: is ADHD just me making excuses for my faults?

Dvd is right.

Last edited by namazu; 03-21-17 at 01:36 PM.. Reason: topicality
Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to Postulate For This Useful Post:
ajaxblu (03-21-17)
  #37  
Old 03-21-17, 02:31 PM
Johnny Slick Johnny Slick is offline
ADDvanced Member
 

Join Date: Dec 2016
Location: Chicago, Il
Posts: 132
Thanks: 234
Thanked 215 Times in 97 Posts
Johnny Slick is just really niceJohnny Slick is just really niceJohnny Slick is just really niceJohnny Slick is just really nice
Re: is ADHD just me making excuses for my faults?

Quote:
Originally Posted by ajaxblu View Post
Mine does. It doesn't last very long but someone redirecting me to get my a** in gear jump-starts me back to what I should be doing for a while. Hence, the doubt.

However, the more time I spend on this forum and on Additude articles and talking to others, the more I realize that I really do probably have ADHD, and it's not just me making excuses for not getting stuff done.
OK, but this isn't quite contradicting what dvd is saying. A "naturally lazy" person (which I hate already; almost everybody has a reason for doing or not doing stuff) doesn't "need" a person snapping at them to "get their *** in gear" to "jump-start" them; that person often needs to see stuff like the consequences of their inaction at play and the like (though again, it's gonna vary from person to person). What you're describing sounds a *lot* to me like a person who, how shall I say this... gets easily distracted, almost as though that person has a disorder relating to a deficit of attention...

If I'm sounding sarcastic and mocking here it's because I recognize these thought processes in myself. Even though the world might call you lazy, if you have ADHD you're not necessarily lazy like, at all. The world is sometimes wrong.
Reply With Quote
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to Johnny Slick For This Useful Post:
ajaxblu (03-21-17), dvdnvwls (03-21-17), Lunacie (03-21-17)
  #38  
Old 03-21-17, 02:50 PM
ajaxblu ajaxblu is offline
Member
 

Join Date: Feb 2017
Location: Fort Wayne, IN USA
Posts: 86
Thanks: 94
Thanked 63 Times in 39 Posts
ajaxblu has a spectacular aura aboutajaxblu has a spectacular aura about
Re: is ADHD just me making excuses for my faults?

Quote:
Originally Posted by dvdnvwls View Post
ajaxblu: You're making a fundamental mistake. You're confusing other people's likes and dislikes (plus your own likes and dislikes) with figuring out what's true or false.

Both categories, like/dislike and true/false, are important in their own ways. I'm not saying the like/dislike thing doesn't matter, because obviously it does. But mixing up the two categories is bad for everyone.
It's taken me a while to wrap my head around this properly. On the surface I know what you're saying, of course. But there are layers to this statement, as well as to your signature statement, that I wanted to mull over before replying. These are good points. Thanks for bringing them up.
Reply With Quote
  #39  
Old 03-21-17, 02:50 PM
Lunacie's Avatar
Lunacie Lunacie is online now
ADDvanced Forum ADDvocate
 

Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: south-central Kansas
Posts: 16,911
Thanks: 16,173
Thanked 22,503 Times in 10,367 Posts
Lunacie has a reputation beyond reputeLunacie has a reputation beyond reputeLunacie has a reputation beyond reputeLunacie has a reputation beyond reputeLunacie has a reputation beyond reputeLunacie has a reputation beyond reputeLunacie has a reputation beyond reputeLunacie has a reputation beyond reputeLunacie has a reputation beyond reputeLunacie has a reputation beyond reputeLunacie has a reputation beyond repute
Re: is ADHD just me making excuses for my faults?

Have you read this book yet? "You Mean I'm NOT Lazy, Stupid or Crazy?"
by Kate Kelly and Peggy Ramundo. I absolutely recommend it.
__________________
ADD is not a problem of knowing what to do; it is a problem of doing what you know.
-RUSSELL A. BARKLEY, PH.D.


As far as I know, there is nothing positive about ADHD that people can't have w out ADHD. ~ ADD me
Reply With Quote
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Lunacie For This Useful Post:
ajaxblu (03-21-17), Johnny Slick (03-21-17)
  #40  
Old 03-21-17, 02:52 PM
ajaxblu ajaxblu is offline
Member
 

Join Date: Feb 2017
Location: Fort Wayne, IN USA
Posts: 86
Thanks: 94
Thanked 63 Times in 39 Posts
ajaxblu has a spectacular aura aboutajaxblu has a spectacular aura about
Re: is ADHD just me making excuses for my faults?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Johnny Slick View Post
What you're describing sounds a *lot* to me like a person who, how shall I say this... gets easily distracted, almost as though that person has a disorder relating to a deficit of attention...




Sometimes humor shines through when all is is elusive.
Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to ajaxblu For This Useful Post:
Johnny Slick (03-21-17)
  #41  
Old 03-21-17, 02:57 PM
ajaxblu ajaxblu is offline
Member
 

Join Date: Feb 2017
Location: Fort Wayne, IN USA
Posts: 86
Thanks: 94
Thanked 63 Times in 39 Posts
ajaxblu has a spectacular aura aboutajaxblu has a spectacular aura about
Re: is ADHD just me making excuses for my faults?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Lunacie View Post
Have you read this book yet? "You Mean I'm NOT Lazy, Stupid or Crazy?"
by Kate Kelly and Peggy Ramundo. I absolutely recommend it.

I haven't yet. You wonderful people have given me so many great recommendations - thank you so much! I do plan to read them. I don't know how the rest of you are but, even though I can zone in on exciting fiction for hours and not realize the world is passing me by, sometimes it takes me a while to get through non-fiction that's not on a bright shiny internet page, or even to buy/rent it in the first place. Add that to too many things rotating through my to-do list (which I gather is also typical), and I haven't yet picked up those publications. I will do it though!

Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to ajaxblu For This Useful Post:
Johnny Slick (03-21-17)
  #42  
Old 03-21-17, 03:02 PM
dvdnvwls dvdnvwls is offline
Mr. BllVt
 

Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Anywhere I can
Posts: 14,235
Thanks: 1,226
Thanked 17,319 Times in 8,639 Posts
dvdnvwls has a reputation beyond reputedvdnvwls has a reputation beyond reputedvdnvwls has a reputation beyond reputedvdnvwls has a reputation beyond reputedvdnvwls has a reputation beyond reputedvdnvwls has a reputation beyond reputedvdnvwls has a reputation beyond reputedvdnvwls has a reputation beyond reputedvdnvwls has a reputation beyond reputedvdnvwls has a reputation beyond reputedvdnvwls has a reputation beyond repute
Re: is ADHD just me making excuses for my faults?

...and it's easy and normal for the world to be wrong, because for a lot of people, life works very differently.

I do sometimes wonder whether the so-called increase in cases of ADHD is simply a result of a corresponding increase in destructive competition among people in general, along with increasing sociopathic attitudes among the rich and powerful. (There has always been sociopathic behaviour in that group, but it seems to be spreading in ways that it hasn't before.)

I think that when helping each other and peacefully coexisting is society's norm, people with ADHD don't necessarily lag behind all that badly. But when cutthroat competition is not just for a few tycoons anymore, when winning against your neighbours and treating them as adversaries becomes the primary expectation, then I think we're probably some of the first obvious casualties.

Training people to be afraid of each other is a horrible idea.
__________________
Postmodernism, the school of 'thought' that proclaimed 'There are no truths, only interpretations' has largely played itself out in absurdity, but it has left behind a generation of academics in the humanities disabled by their distrust of the very idea of truth and their disrespect for evidence, settling for 'conversations' in which nobody is wrong and nothing can be confirmed, only asserted with whatever style you can muster.
Reply With Quote
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to dvdnvwls For This Useful Post:
aeon (03-21-17), ajaxblu (03-21-17), Johnny Slick (03-21-17)
  #43  
Old 03-21-17, 03:06 PM
dvdnvwls dvdnvwls is offline
Mr. BllVt
 

Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Anywhere I can
Posts: 14,235
Thanks: 1,226
Thanked 17,319 Times in 8,639 Posts
dvdnvwls has a reputation beyond reputedvdnvwls has a reputation beyond reputedvdnvwls has a reputation beyond reputedvdnvwls has a reputation beyond reputedvdnvwls has a reputation beyond reputedvdnvwls has a reputation beyond reputedvdnvwls has a reputation beyond reputedvdnvwls has a reputation beyond reputedvdnvwls has a reputation beyond reputedvdnvwls has a reputation beyond reputedvdnvwls has a reputation beyond repute
Re: is ADHD just me making excuses for my faults?

Quote:
Originally Posted by ajaxblu View Post
It's taken me a while to wrap my head around this properly. On the surface I know what you're saying, of course. But there are layers to this statement, as well as to your signature statement, that I wanted to mull over before replying. These are good points. Thanks for bringing them up.
(My signature isn't my own writing - it comes from Daniel Dennett.)
__________________
Postmodernism, the school of 'thought' that proclaimed 'There are no truths, only interpretations' has largely played itself out in absurdity, but it has left behind a generation of academics in the humanities disabled by their distrust of the very idea of truth and their disrespect for evidence, settling for 'conversations' in which nobody is wrong and nothing can be confirmed, only asserted with whatever style you can muster.
Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to dvdnvwls For This Useful Post:
ajaxblu (03-21-17)
  #44  
Old 03-21-17, 03:14 PM
ajaxblu ajaxblu is offline
Member
 

Join Date: Feb 2017
Location: Fort Wayne, IN USA
Posts: 86
Thanks: 94
Thanked 63 Times in 39 Posts
ajaxblu has a spectacular aura aboutajaxblu has a spectacular aura about
Re: is ADHD just me making excuses for my faults?

Quote:
Originally Posted by dvdnvwls View Post
But when cutthroat competition is not just for a few tycoons anymore, when winning against your neighbours and treating them as adversaries becomes the primary expectation, then I think we're probably some of the first obvious casualties.

Training people to be afraid of each other is a horrible idea.

This.
Reply With Quote
  #45  
Old 03-21-17, 03:32 PM
Lunacie's Avatar
Lunacie Lunacie is online now
ADDvanced Forum ADDvocate
 

Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: south-central Kansas
Posts: 16,911
Thanks: 16,173
Thanked 22,503 Times in 10,367 Posts
Lunacie has a reputation beyond reputeLunacie has a reputation beyond reputeLunacie has a reputation beyond reputeLunacie has a reputation beyond reputeLunacie has a reputation beyond reputeLunacie has a reputation beyond reputeLunacie has a reputation beyond reputeLunacie has a reputation beyond reputeLunacie has a reputation beyond reputeLunacie has a reputation beyond reputeLunacie has a reputation beyond repute
Re: is ADHD just me making excuses for my faults?

Quote:
Originally Posted by ajaxblu View Post
I haven't yet. You wonderful people have given me so many great recommendations - thank you so much! I do plan to read them. I don't know how the rest of you are but, even though I can zone in on exciting fiction for hours and not realize the world is passing me by, sometimes it takes me a while to get through non-fiction that's not on a bright shiny internet page, or even to buy/rent it in the first place. Add that to too many things rotating through my to-do list (which I gather is also typical), and I haven't yet picked up those publications. I will do it though!

Same thing here, much prefer fiction. But if it's something that interests me ...
and reading this book there was so much that I really related to. I got it at the
local library.
__________________
ADD is not a problem of knowing what to do; it is a problem of doing what you know.
-RUSSELL A. BARKLEY, PH.D.


As far as I know, there is nothing positive about ADHD that people can't have w out ADHD. ~ ADD me
Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to Lunacie For This Useful Post:
ajaxblu (03-21-17)
Reply

Bookmarks


Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On
Forum Jump

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
ADHD Comorbidity, a long analysis. TheFactsMachine Scientific Discussion 0 11-23-15 02:35 AM
Opinions on Dr. Daniel Amen's technique for adults with ADD? PinkPanther_04 Adult Diagnosis & Treatment 25 03-10-14 05:10 PM
Adult and Child ADHD Assessment Centres in UK launter United Kingdom 27 12-20-10 09:05 AM
ADHD Is Real: Millions of Adults Are Taking Medication for Disorder Andrew ADD News 2 01-25-05 09:22 AM
Making the best decisions about ADHD treatments Andrew ADD News 0 09-30-04 09:11 PM


All times are GMT -4. The time now is 10:50 AM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.7.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2017, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
(c) 2003 - 2015 ADD Forums