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  #1  
Old 09-10-11, 10:43 AM
Roxanne111 Roxanne111 is offline
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Newbie, heart breaking for little boy again

Hi,

I'm new to the forums as well. I have an almost 8yo boy who has ADHD combined. We live in Australia.

After a particularly heart breaking day, am looking for a way to connect with other ADHD parents, support etc, discuss issues/ concerns.

Kids (other kids) can be so cruel. What can you do about exclusionary play, teasing and just pain bullying. What can I say to my beautiful son who, when asking to join in a game with his soccer team, they all call him an idiot and look for ways to provoke him, and then their parents just stand there and watch and do nothing - as such endorsing such cruelty. It usually has to be play his way or he gets frustrated, but that didn't even happen today. Instead he just came over, siddled up to me and asked me why they call him an idiot? Ignore them honey, walk away. I did, but they followed me.

Of course the frustrations boiled up later, coming out as sharp words to me. I couldn't help it, he saw me cry today. It made my cry more with him wiping away my tears, saying he is sorry, he's not angry anymore, that he does love me, that he doesn't hate me, that he's so sorry, he wont do it again, he'll try harder.

What can you do?

My little guys is not violent, he doesn't scream or kick or bite. But he can be socially awkward, full on, sometimes in your face, over-excited, over-enthusiastic. He doesn't 'get' personal space. He talks to anyone, hugs sometimes inappropriately. He says what's on his mind and doesn't get that you just can't say some things.

My heart is breaking daily at the moment as I see the gap between him and other kids get wider and wider. And I know he sees it too. Not once this year has he been invited over for a play. He's had kids over, but I know they get frustrated when he trys to control the play too much. He's starting to make comments about playing by himself at lunchtime.

The tantrums, while only at home, are longer and more intense. he won't let things go. I know there's logic in there somewhere, but the hot wires in his brain just fire constantly.

What's the next step? I know there's so much more heartbreak to come and there is little to be done to protect him. We try to guide him, steer him in the right direction, arm him with self confidence, surround him with love. On days like this I wonder if it can ever be enough.
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Old 09-10-11, 06:09 PM
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Re: Newbie, heart breaking for little boy again

Hello Roxanne111 & welcome to the forums!
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Old 09-10-11, 06:15 PM
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Re: Newbie, heart breaking for little boy again

Hi Roxanne111!

My heart was getting tugged on reading your story. I don't have anything to offer right now, but I did want you to know that you are NOT alone!

{{hugs to you and your beautiful son}}
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Old 09-10-11, 06:23 PM
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Re: Newbie, heart breaking for little boy again

What is his diagnosis and is he on any medication?
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Old 09-11-11, 08:33 AM
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Re: Newbie, heart breaking for little boy again

Welcome Roxanne.

We have your discussion about your little boy in our parenting section; I hope you find the information and support you need.

Nice to have you here.
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Old 09-11-11, 09:03 AM
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Re: Newbie, heart breaking for little boy again

It's taken more than two years of play therapy, but my now 9 year old
Autistic granddaughter is learning to play with others without insisting on
playing HER game by HER rules. She's finally got some friends to play with.
Play therapy can be very helpful in teaching the child how to handle social
interactions.
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As far as I know, there is nothing positive about ADHD that people can't have w out ADHD. ~ ADD me
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Old 09-19-11, 11:38 AM
Jeremy.Ritz Jeremy.Ritz is offline
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Re: Newbie, heart breaking for little boy again

I don't have a child with ADD (yet, hopefully it skips a generation!), but having grown up with ADHD i know how your son feels. It's difficult to understand why the other kids are different and why they make interacting with each other look so easy, when it isn't for you. The only suggestion i can give you is to keep doing what you're doing, being a loving parent who is trying to do what you can. Some cognitive therapy may help you're son develop positive coping techniques as well. I hope it gets better for you and your son!
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Old 09-21-11, 08:40 AM
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Re: Newbie, heart breaking for little boy again

Hey, I could of written your post myself. My little boy is 7 and has ADHD combined, he is currently on Concerta XL which has been a huge help but he too doesnt get the social side of things, and struggles, and has recently been diagnosed with mild autistic spectrum disorder but for the very reasons you have mentioned and we have always felt his dificulties were due to the ADHD. I hope we can help each other out. I am in the UK but there seems to be a lot of parents with autistic children, alot of blogs about autism and very little about ADHD. I have recently started my own blog which I would like to develop into something for ADHD and aspergers in the hope it may help others or simply as a way to share knowledge with other parents (www.theramblingpages.blogspot.com please beq rin mind I have only just decided to take the blog down this route).
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Old 09-21-11, 10:06 PM
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Re: Newbie, heart breaking for little boy again

Welcome to the forums and hugs.I still dont play well with others and Im 36,Give me my kickball Im going home.Anyway I was treated like this as a kid and I wish i could give you some advice on how to handle it.I like the saying the apple doesnt fall too far from the tree.The parents seem just as heartless and ignorant as there kids do for not saying something.Kids learn alot of stuff by learned behaviors and seeing other people especially there parents treat people.I grew up in a loving household,no domestic abuse/drugs etc and was taught how to respect/boundaries/tact.But if a kid sees there father abuse his mom thats all he knows and maybe the said kid will be a bully and a abuser.Good luck to you and your son.
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