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  #1  
Old 02-24-14, 01:54 AM
cosmok cosmok is offline
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Angry Losing credibility at work because of disorganization

This always happens.
I start a job and get along with everyone real well.
If the place is a well organized company, I can be a top performer.

Once things get disorganized, stressful or if I have to do too many different things, I fall apart.

It is really hard for me to concentrate once the work environment or organization changes.

My job, which I used to be great at, just had a management change. Along with that, some stressful things are happening making my job much more difficult. More responsibilities have been added to my plate.

When this happens, I cannot pay attention to details. I ask questions that have already been answered, I fail to absorb info that is needed to take care of things, I forget a lot, I cannot get things done and every time I open my mouth, I sound like a rambling idiot.

I went from a great employee to a disorganized airhead. This always happens. Once this happens, I lose the credibility I once had because I sound so disconnected and disorganized.

On top of that, I am running my own business. So, I have 2 jobs really. I do much better working for myself, but right now, working for myself with no other employment is not wise. This will change, but just not an option for the time being.

Anyways, the point is, once I get swallowed up in stress and disorganization, I appear to be an idiot. No one listens to me, my opinions don't matter and people speak to me in a condescending tone. Then I get angry, which makes it harder for me to concentrate! I will end up lashing out emotionally, which will only alienate me and possibly get me fired.

Has anyone had this problem? How do you handle losing credibility because of your ADHD? I am not an idiot! But my ADHD makes me look like a total spaz. I just don't have the same threshold as other people when it comes to major changes and stressors. I do not adapt well.

Any advice?
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  #2  
Old 02-24-14, 02:11 AM
dvdnvwls dvdnvwls is offline
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Re: Losing credibility at work because of disorganization

This is extremely common for ADHD I think. Another way to think about it is supportive environment vs non-supportive environment. That is, if things are already organized, already running smoothly, then we can fit in with much less trouble.

My first thought is, when times are good, spend time and energy preparing your environment so that when times get bad you might not be affected so much. This is assuming that the same few things always go wrong, and that you might be able to prepare for them somehow.

My second thought is, is this kind of job even worth it, if the same thing keeps happening. Maybe a career change. (Except you seem to be already working on that...)
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Old 02-24-14, 08:48 AM
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Re: Losing credibility at work because of disorganization

Yes, my advise is to modify your environement to give you the best chance of success!

What does that mean? You can't put so much on your plate and expect to handle everything and stay on top of it all the top. We are just not built for that. You say right now it is not an option, that you need both jobs. As long as you continue like this it is going to be stressful and we do not do well under this type of pressure. At least not for long periods of time.

But like you say, in many cases we do not have a choice. So we continue on until something bad happens like we get fired or we get to the point where we are very unhealthy.

So then we make the decision to modify our environment for success.

I know it's not what you wnat ot hear, but until we sharpen our skills and improve how we multi task and handle pressure the only way to be successful and healthy is to keep that stress under control.

I have learned through the years that I can ignore the obvious and continue on the path of stress and unhelathyness, or i can make a change to accomodate my strengths until I get better at handling these tasks.

I wish good things for you.
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Old 02-24-14, 09:49 AM
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Re: Losing credibility at work because of disorganization

Two great responses right there ^...

The word credibility strikes me... and i think it's a good word for how we feel... Our world seems so binary... that once "we are exposed"... then it's finite...

One wonders how much of this is reality ( not your day to day experience!... i'm referring to how much you've really lost credibility with others ) ... or possibly ties in with some sort of repressed alternate emotion... such as dissatisfaction or alike... What's behind this binary snowball effect... Indeed... focussing on strengths and working your environment are the appropriate ways to haul yourself back to flow... though... at some point... I think you'll find that underneath the snowball... is perhaps one... "theme".... "topic".... repressed energy or emotion....

Just a thought I wanted to share...
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Old 02-24-14, 10:10 AM
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Re: Losing credibility at work because of disorganization

wow, great thread...
I had never thought of our world seeming binary;
once "we are exposed" , it's finite.
Brilliant!!!!

If there are management changes, EVERYONE will be affected and it's not any easier for the NTs (on their own "NT level", if that makes any sense).
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Old 02-24-14, 01:47 PM
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Re: Losing credibility at work because of disorganization

I don't know how to fix it, I'm sorry! ((((((hugs)))))))

I have always had an awful time getting anyone to take me seriously.

As an RN, I've always been competent at my job.
Once I know how to do something, I do it well. I'm not afraid of work.
I think a part of my own struggles is that I do not do well in interpersonal interactions. I do not like any of the drama and head games that seem to occur at the hospital, don't know how to play them, and won't get involved in them.
Because I don't really know how to respond, or if there is some underlying reason something has been said, I will try to avoid interacting with people at the hospital beyond a pleasant, superficial friendliness.
I won't suck up to anyone, or talk about anyone behind their back.
There is constant back stabbing and fighting.
Because of this, because I'm kind of socially awkward I guess, I don't enjoy small talk.
I don't ask people I don't care about how they are, because I don't care.
If someone comes to me with a problem, I will listen and try to be supportive, but I won't give much in the way of suggestions, because 1) my suggestions would probably suck, and 2) I don't want it coming back to bite me.
Because of this, I've never been offered a better position or title, and while most of the other RNs are able to get paid extra or get extra perks for "specializing" in some area, I seem to always be looked over. We have the "diabetes education nurse", the "trauma coordinator", the "infection control coordinator", yadda, yadda. And these things seem to be a way to garner respect and get paid more. Now, a couple of times, I thought I could offer something. The director of nursing is in charge of all the chemotherapy drugs and their administration. They must be mixed under a vent hood, wearing a mask. They must be administered through a central line IV, either a subclavian in the neck, a PICC line, or an implanted port, as they are quite nasty drugs and can cause a bit of damage to underlying tissues if they infiltrate. She didn't want to do it anymore, it was a hassle, so I said I would. I even called an oncologist, who offered to teach me more in depth. That was the last I heard about it. One of the others is doing it now. I'm good at putting in IVs, so I offered to take the class to put in PICC lines. This would be helpful in that if a patient needed a central line, they wouldn't have to be sent off to have one surgically implanted before we could do anything. A surgically implanted line would be ideal for a chronically ill patient in the long term, but a PICC could give us a couple of weeks at least, and having someone who could insert them would have been a great financial boon to the hospital. Oh, that's a great idea....never heard another word about it. I volunteered to keep track of everyone's continuing education requirements....another "great idea", and now, one of the LPNs does it.
I mean, it's whatever, if they think I'm stupid and can't do anything. I did get my feelings hurt quite badly once, when I found out I was getting paid substantially less than my coworkers. The next lowest paid was I think $5 an hour ahead of me, the highest, $10 or $12 more. There was really no reason, except that I hadn't asked for a raise, so it had been overlooked....for years. I was quite hurt and offended, especially since I had more experience, credentials, and education than all but like 2 of them. In fact, one had been an RN less than a month, and was newly hired. But....she was the trauma coordinator. Whatever. I found out about it, had a fit, and the next morning my boss just happened to show up before I left and gave me a $10 an hour raise that had been "overlooked".

Whatever. It's all good. Lol.

I hate all those snotty b******.
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Old 02-24-14, 04:02 PM
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Re: Losing credibility at work because of disorganization

Quote:
Originally Posted by stef View Post
wow, great thread...
I had never thought of our world seeming binary;
once "we are exposed" , it's finite.
Brilliant!!!!

If there are management changes, EVERYONE will be affected and it's not any easier for the NTs (on their own "NT level", if that makes any sense).
Well, maybe being "exposed" is not quite it?... but I do see a binary sort of possibility. I think it has to do with the downward spiral; I think part-way down that spiral there's a "point of no return", a place where everything has got so out of control that it seems all possible coping strategies have become un-workable. The point where it seems getting fired would be nothing but a relief, where having to hunt for (and maybe not find) another job seems less painful than fixing all the things in this job that are broken.

It's the same as the point where a novelist intentionally deletes his unfinished 700-page manuscript. The same as the point where a construction crew knocks the whole thing down and starts again.

For an unconscious/inexperienced ADHDer, such as I have been for years (and mostly still am, though hopefully I'm improving), that "point of no return" is high up on the spiral - basically, once we start to feel the water swirling, we're done for. ADHDers who learn how to manage the disorder, and to manage their environment better, are in effect pushing that point of no return farther and farther down the spiral, as well as improving their ability to not let a spiral even begin, and (probably most challenging) even their ability to reverse an early-stage spiral and get back to doing what's needed.

I hit a spiral not that long ago at one of my little jobs, and my boss (who months ago for complicated reasons had to hear that I have ADHD) has compassionately and thoughtfully given me space to pull out of the spiral and bring myself back to OK again, and has done a spectacular job (spectacular for someone without a disorder or any related experience) of offering assistance without being patronizing or accusatory. Admittedly it was a small spiral in a small job, but the experience has been very liberating - yes, at least with compassion and support from others, I can recover from what initially looked like a disaster. Maybe without medication it would have meant spiralling worse, spiralling more quickly, and getting fired; maybe medication wasn't the major factor this time - not sure.
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Old 02-24-14, 04:48 PM
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Re: Losing credibility at work because of disorganization

Thanks everyone for the great responses! I am glad to have a place to talk about this.
You all bring up great points.
I usually am unprepared for when things go from supportive to unsupportive environments!
The job I have and the business I run are in the same industry, just in different capacities. I love the job and industry, but man, things are crazy right now!
I have 2 jobs and both are demanding. I work both from home. I think the issue is, I never know if I am in a truly stressful situation or if my ADHD is just making it seem that way. I do not trust my own perceptions. I also have this fear of my ADHD taking control of my life again. So, when I hit a rough spot like I am now, I'm like "OMG is this because I have no coping abilities or is it because my situation really is stressful?"
I have always been judged as being not competent because I appear so disorganized. It has become a deep rooted self esteem issue for me. I always feel like I have to prove myself. I also poke fun at myself in front of others, which I really need to stop doing.
By losing credibility, I mean, when I constantly ask questions that have been answered, or because I miss details, I make many mistakes, people tend to think I don't "have it all together." I brought up an important issue at work last week because I noticed glitch in our system. I reported it. It was ignored. Someone else reported it and it was immediately attended to. This happens a lot especially lately.
However, in my own industry, I am actually comparatively very successful and do much better than most. I hate when people are always surprised when I accomplish something. There are shocked when they see how many clients I have. However, I miss details a lot. The more stressed out I am, the more I miss.
It is hard for me to admit that I cannot handle everything because that makes me feel so out of control. I hate feeling out of control.
My current situation is unhealthy. I could make it more healthy, but that would mean letting some people down. I hate that I have to do that.
I have read every single response here and I am so grateful for all of them. You guys are great.
I have to go get back to work! LOL!!! UGGHHHH!!!
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Old 02-24-14, 05:12 PM
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Re: Losing credibility at work because of disorganization

Quote:
Originally Posted by someothertime View Post
Two great responses right there ^...

The word credibility strikes me... and i think it's a good word for how we feel... Our world seems so binary... that once "we are exposed"... then it's finite...

One wonders how much of this is reality ( not your day to day experience!... i'm referring to how much you've really lost credibility with others ) ... or possibly ties in with some sort of repressed alternate emotion... such as dissatisfaction or alike... What's behind this binary snowball effect... Indeed... focussing on strengths and working your environment are the appropriate ways to haul yourself back to flow... though... at some point... I think you'll find that underneath the snowball... is perhaps one... "theme".... "topic".... repressed energy or emotion....

Just a thought I wanted to share...
I think it is anger, lol. I think I am angry that this keeps happening and angry that I always have had to prove myself.
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Old 02-24-14, 06:37 PM
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Re: Losing credibility at work because of disorganization

Stress is stress. It doesn't matter if the situation justifies it; if you're having stress, then you need to deal with that stress in a way that's good for you. You don't choose your feelings, only your actions.
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Old 02-24-14, 07:10 PM
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Re: Losing credibility at work because of disorganization

Quote:
Originally Posted by dvdnvwls View Post
Stress is stress. It doesn't matter if the situation justifies it; if you're having stress, then you need to deal with that stress in a way that's good for you. You don't choose your feelings, only your actions.
Yes, true. I just think I need to let go and realize that I cannot control the outcomes of everything else. Something is going to fail and that is ok. I just need to be sure that I stay healthy.

I am working as we speak, and am answering some customer service inquiries that I would normally freak out over. Just letting go of this mentally is helping already.
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Old 02-24-14, 07:16 PM
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Re: Losing credibility at work because of disorganization

I can 100% relate and empathize with this.

The first few months at any job, I'm a rockstar. Funny, brilliant, they love me, constant telling me I'm amazing. Then, once I'm expected to remember processes, paperwork, ..when people see my desk day to day,.. or expect me to answer my phone (I answer the phone - but certain things I cant interrupt.) etc etc.. it's all down hill.

For me, the only thing that worked was running my own business. I am unable to manage my day to day professional "appearance" or "vibe". (Spaz, disorganized, unfocused, irresponsible, etc.) But I can manage how I appear for the isolated moments when it matters. AND if I ever look like a dork,.. I might lose that client (and probably not even). But I won't lose my job. And people who are hyper sensitive to the things I'm bad at - I don't work with them. I get paid when I hit - I can miss as many shots as I want. But an employer can't let you do that.

Quote:
On top of that, I am running my own business...I do much better working for myself, but right now, working for myself with no other employment is not wise. This will change, but just not an option for the time being.
My $0.02. I'm sure you know hot to assess of it's the right time, but let me say that going 100% on your own is always scary. It's never the right or best time. Just a thought.

Quote:
No one listens to me, my opinions don't matter and people speak to me in a condescending tone.
That sucks - I know what that's like. When you finally go on your own, you will not wish you had done it years sooner!
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