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Old 04-23-18, 02:11 PM
peripatetic peripatetic is offline
 
 

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parents of children diagnosed with adhd: when did you suspect, when did you know?

as the title suggests, i'm interested in hearing from parents with adhd diagnosed children. specifically:

when did you start to notice things here and there (at what age) and when did you actually seek out a diagnosis (if at a different age)?

i see things in my girl. little things that are just slightly off developmentally appropriate. but i don't see these things as too far off at this point. if they worsen or don't change, then i'll be suspicious.

so, anyway, wondering when you, as a parent, started to notice things were potentially non-standard and when did you feel for sure they weren't and sought help?

cheers!
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Old 04-23-18, 02:28 PM
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Re: parents of children diagnosed with adhd: when did you suspect, when did you know?

I was oblivious. Around 5th grade (10/11 years old) my son got more forgetful, more vacant expressions, more oblivious to what was going on around him. I didn't have the right words when I spoke to teachers about what could be wrong...they kept saying it was common in boys. 8th grade (13) he couldn't figure out what the teachers wanted. They kept using words like "hes not paying attention", "he's here but he isn't here" "He doesn't know when to stop"....as he was failing everything except advanced math I finally heard from a baseball mom that I had to use the words "I want my son formally diagnosed for a learning disorder"...once that report came back it was filled with words that made the pediatrician diagnose ADHD-inattentive.

I was on the lookout after that for my daughter who was diagnosed at age 8. I questioned it, but didn't know. I asked the teacher to keep me updated with any concerns. In April of last year the teacher sent home an email "I can't get her to stay in her seat. She has to go to the bathroom, get a cup of water, get a band aid, get something from her book bag, throw something out...etc. If I can't get her to sit still I can't teach her."

My daughter had been to the psychiatrists office with me and my son twice. On the third time I mentioned what the teacher had said. The dr. said "Of course she is ADHD, she's hyperactive, shes been zooming all over my office since the day I met you."...and poof my daughter was officially diagnosed.
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Old 04-23-18, 06:53 PM
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Re: parents of children diagnosed with adhd: when did you suspect, when did you know?

Between 3 and 4 for the adhd.

Watch for the co-morbid conditions. This is my earliest memory for myself. Aged 3.

Me: crying while playing with my favourite toy
Mother: why are you crying?
Me: I don't know
Mother: Are you hungry?
Me : No
Mother: Are you thirsty?
Me: No
Mother: Do you want a different toy?
Me: No
Mother: So you just like crying
Me: I like crying.

I agreed I liked crying coz nothing else made sense. Because I can remember how I felt I now recognise that feeling as depression and the sense of impending doom that also goes with anxiety.

Both my kids showed signs of depression and anxiety from a young age. Personally I think it's more important to worry about these at a young age than adhd.

If there is anxiety and depression there it makes it harder for the child to overcome the challenges of being adhd because there is less resilient.

If only I knew then what I know now!!

The best advice I can give is to try and build her resilience as much as possible so when the adhd starts to impede her she has the confidence to get though it.

Hope this helps!
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Old 04-23-18, 07:19 PM
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Re: parents of children diagnosed with adhd: when did you suspect, when did you know?

The only sign I saw in my daughter was that she went through a time when she
was quite shy. This was over 30 years ago and it we thought shyness was quite
normal. She has not been diagnosed but I do recognize some symptoms in her
and believe she would be diagnosed as mild adhd.

Her oldest daughter was maybe 2 when I began to notice little things. She'd
often run off in parking lots, or dash around the next aisle in the stores. Drove
her mom crazy always saying "Mom? Mom? Mom?" and her mom would say
"What is it honey?" Only to be met with "I dunno" or "I forget." And 2 minutes
later "Mom? Mom? Mom?"

She was 4 before we lived in a place where I could take her to story time at the
library, something her mom enjoyed as a child. But Katlin could not sit still and
be quiet when the librarian was reading a book out loud. Warning bells went off
at that point, but that was 16 years ago and I thought only hyperactive boys
were diagnosed with adhd.

Apparently her teachers thought the same thing because I could not get any of
them to admit they saw any of the signs I was seeing until she was in the 4th
grade (maybe it was 5th). Finally her mom agreed to get her evaluated.

By then she was depressed and beating herself up for being "stupid." She'd hit
herself in the head and repeat "Stupid" over and over. Nothing we ever said
reassured her. Started her on Concerta and she was different child.


Have you browsed through the thread "You know your child has adhd when ..."
thread in the children's sub-forum? It might help to see how many of those
symptoms you are seeing in your little one.
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Old 04-23-18, 07:22 PM
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Re: parents of children diagnosed with adhd: when did you suspect, when did you know?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Lunacie View Post
Have you browsed through the thread "You know your child has adhd when ..."
thread in the children's sub-forum? It might help to see how many of those
symptoms you are seeing in your little one.
i haven't, but i will now; cheers for the suggestion
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Old 04-23-18, 09:14 PM
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Re: parents of children diagnosed with adhd: when did you suspect, when did you know?

I'm not a parent, but I am told my mother saw something in me at age 4 (she wasn't around from 2-4).

She took me to clinicians, but they didn't want to hear the musings of a smart woman with no degree, and combined with my cognitive nature and desire to people-please (adults), she was told she was imagining things, and to relax.

37 years later I was diagnosed.

She told me she felt vindicated all those years later.


Cheers,
Ian
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Old 04-24-18, 04:45 AM
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Re: parents of children diagnosed with adhd: when did you suspect, when did you know?

With my son we noticed around age 3- and ad him evaluated at age 3.5.My oldest daughter and her sister we didnt notice until agaes 4 and 5.
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Old 04-24-18, 05:12 PM
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Re: parents of children diagnosed with adhd: when did you suspect, when did you know?

All my children were noticeably different from other children from when they were babies. I'm not sure if that was because of the adhd or other conditions. Anxiety and sensory issues definitely showed up very early on.

In terms of parenting strategies, I decided it was safer to simply assume that they had adhd. If it turned out later on that they didn't, then that would be a bonus. As it is, they all have adhd and I'm glad I chose to do things the way I did.
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Old 04-24-18, 11:58 PM
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Re: parents of children diagnosed with adhd: when did you suspect, when did you know?

I noticed it when my son never pays attention to what I say and I find it difficult to tell him to behave.
He's sometimes hyperactive especially during gameplays but sometimes inattentive/unmotivated. It's just so hard to understand his mood.
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Old 04-25-18, 05:36 PM
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Re: parents of children diagnosed with adhd: when did you suspect, when did you know?

thank you everyone.

tudor, your point is a really great one...to consider other signs, too. i have two additional diagnoses and i don't see them in my girl, or any anxiety/depression either, but i'd be delighted if she ended up with adhd in lieu of one or both of the other two.

i've been reading the thread luna suggested and a lot of the early ones...don't sound necessarily symptomatic to me; they just sound like regular kid things. but maybe i'm not a good judge of regular kid things.

i mean, i see her zone out like i do...and she's a runner, never walking, always running, she's a chatterer, and she has no attention span for anything that's not an art project and will try to hold her urine until she nearly pees her pants because she's absorbed in art projects. but she's also three, so there's that. i just don't have "kid experience" in general. her pediatrician is aware of my situation though and thus alerted to watch for signs in E.
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Old 04-27-18, 03:13 PM
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Re: parents of children diagnosed with adhd: when did you suspect, when did you know?

Both my kids have adhd, daughter is 11 (diagnosed at age 8) and son is six (diagnosed at age 4, not long after my daughter as I was more educated at that point).

In retrospect I guess the signs were there when they were babies. They were not the typical babies who sat in their stroller and were content to look around at the world and were never calm. They were very attached, always wanted to be 'on the go', started to walk early (age 9-10 months) always wanted to have attention and be held or stimulated, stopped napping at an earlier age (18 months), got bored with toys very quickly and couldn't sit still ever.

Then as they got into toddler years, they were into everything, the terrible twos started at 1 and never grew out of. They never could listen or follow direction without a lot of effort by me and my husband and even now it is a struggle for basic things such as getting dressed in the morning without us having to physically direct them to do things as transitions are very hard for them.

In school my daughter was typical, very social, but not able to focus a real daydreamer and my son has very behind socially than his age (he's six and still can't share or get along with others well) but is extremely bright in school his math is way ahead as well as his reading for his age.

Also there was the anxiety, some sensory issues (EXTREME fussiness to food).
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Old 06-18-18, 12:39 AM
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Re: parents of children diagnosed with adhd: when did you suspect, when did you know?

I have also seen some symptoms on my son, but for now I'm still observing his actions.
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Old 06-26-18, 07:59 PM
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Re: parents of children diagnosed with adhd: when did you suspect, when did you know?

My son's ADHD diagnosis came as a tag along. He was diagnosed with ASD at 5. He was my only child or I would might have known what to look for so he was a little late. Around 7 they were like "Oh, he has ADHD too." "ok" "There is medication for this one" "oh. yay". He is also diagnosed with side of anxiety (not medicated). Just please please please let him not be bipolar.

I managed to not get diagnosed with anything until around 27. At that point everyone was only concerned with the issues that were trying to kill me.
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Old 06-27-18, 10:44 AM
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Re: parents of children diagnosed with adhd: when did you suspect, when did you know?

Honestly, I didn't even start thinking about the possibility of my son having actual ADHD until I was diagnosed at 37 years old. As soon as I received my diagnosis, I went back and had him checked out immediately because everything suddenly made sense. For both of us.

He also has some pretty wicked anxiety, and there was a period where the word bipolar kept getting tossed around, but I don't think it is quite that bad, thankfully. We have an amazing therapist, and I've seen so much improvement in both of our lives since our diagnosis and subsequent treatment.
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Old 06-28-18, 09:22 AM
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Re: parents of children diagnosed with adhd: when did you suspect, when did you know?

http://www.addforums.com/forums/showthread.php?t=145739
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