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  #31  
Old 03-31-16, 04:29 PM
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Re: A joke

How do you measure the intelligence of a vegetable?

With an IQ-cumber!
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  #32  
Old 03-31-16, 04:48 PM
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Re: A joke

A rope walks into a bar and asks for a drink. "We don't serve ropes" replies the barman. So the rope walks out again and comes back a few hours later wanting a drink. "I told you already, we don't serve ropes" replied the barman so off the rope walks again. Later on, another rope walks into the bar. "Are you that rope that was in here earlier?" asks the barman. "I'm a frayed knot" replies the rope.
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Last edited by midnightstar; 03-31-16 at 04:48 PM.. Reason: stupid keyboard
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  #33  
Old 04-01-16, 02:48 PM
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Re: A joke

A neutron walks into a bar and orders a drink. When the neutron gets his drink, he asks, "Bartender, how much do I owe you?"
The bartender replies, "For you, neutron, no charge."
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  #34  
Old 04-01-16, 04:32 PM
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Re: A joke

The snow is long gone here but I think this one's funny.


Two snowmen are standing next to each other in a yard.
One says to the other, “Funny, I smell carrots too.”
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  #35  
Old 04-04-16, 01:30 AM
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Re: A joke

Earlier today in court
Judge: State your name.
Me: Not Guilty
Judge: What?
Me: I had it legally changed.
Judge: You're Not Guilty?
Me: *moonwalks outta there*
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  #36  
Old 04-04-16, 01:32 AM
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Re: A joke

Teacher: "Anyone who thinks he's stupid may stand up!"
*Nobody stands up*
Teacher: "Im sure there are some stupid students over here!!"
*Little Johnny stands up*
Teacher: "Ohh, Johnny you think you're stupid?"
Little Johnny: "No... i just feel bad that you're standing alone..."
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  #37  
Old 04-04-16, 01:32 AM
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Re: A joke

Boy: *calls 911* Hello? I need your help!
911: Alright, What is it?
Boy: Two girls are fighting over me!
911: So what's your emergency?
Boy: The ugly one is winning.
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  #38  
Old 04-04-16, 01:34 AM
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Re: A joke

Boy: The principal is so dumb!
Girl: Do you know who I am?
Boy: No...
Girl: I am the principal's daughter!
Boy: Do you know who I am?
Girl: No...
Boy: Good! *walks away*
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  #39  
Old 04-04-16, 01:35 AM
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Re: A joke

I was in in the public restroom
I was barely sitting down when I heard a voice in the other stall:
"Hi, how are you?"
Me: (embarrassed) "Doin' fine!"
Stall: "So what are you up to?"
Me: "Uhhh, I'm like you, just sitting here."
Stall: "Can I come over?"
Me: (attitude) "No, I'm a little busy right now!!"
Stall: "Listen, I'll have to call you back. There's an idiot in the other stall who keeps answering all my questions!
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  #40  
Old 04-29-16, 03:08 PM
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Re: A joke

Two men are in a truck driving around with a penguin. Noticing the penguin, a traffic cop stops the truck driver and tells him to take this animal to a zoo right away. The next day, the same cop sees the same two men in the same truck with the same penguin again.

He stops them and says, "Didn't I tell you guys to take this animal to a zoo yesterday?"

The driver replies, "We did officer! We are taking him to the movies today."
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  #41  
Old 04-30-16, 12:38 PM
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Re: A joke

A group of horses were moving down towards the horse court for horse jury.

One horse asks another, "Where do we enter again?"

The other horse replies indignantly, "Why the mane entrance of course!"
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  #42  
Old 04-30-16, 02:55 PM
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Re: A joke

What do you get when you cross a snowman and a vampire?

Frostbite!
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  #43  
Old 04-30-16, 03:21 PM
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Re: A joke

LOL........I love Corny!!!! Makes me smile every time.
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  #44  
Old 09-10-17, 07:03 PM
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Re: A joke

Q: When does a joke become a dad joke?
A: When the punchline becomes apparent.
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Old 09-10-17, 07:04 PM
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Re: A joke

Q: What do you call a dog that does magic tricks?
A: A labracadabrador.
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