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  #61  
Old 09-11-17, 03:37 PM
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Re: A joke

TEACHER: How many feet are there in a yard?

STUDENT: It depends. If there are 3 people, then we have six feet!
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  #62  
Old 09-11-17, 03:45 PM
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Re: A joke

Did you hear that they moved all the prisoners from Alcatraz island over to the Greek island of Crete?

They also changed the name to Con-Crete!
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  #63  
Old 09-11-17, 03:46 PM
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Re: A joke

Why are there old dinosaur bones in the museum?

Because they can't afford new ones!
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  #64  
Old 09-11-17, 03:48 PM
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Re: A joke

I told my boss that three companies were after me, so I needed a raise in pay to stay with the current job.

He asked which companies?

I told him gas, electric, and cable.
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  #65  
Old 09-11-17, 04:06 PM
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Re: A joke

Midnight you are on a roll! your going to make me pee my pants!
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  #66  
Old 09-11-17, 04:11 PM
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Re: A joke

Q: Why did the tofu cross the road?


A: To prove that he wasn’t chicken.
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  #67  
Old 09-11-17, 04:13 PM
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Re: A joke

Q: What did the little lost calf say to the silo?


A: “Is my fodder in there?”
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  #68  
Old 09-11-17, 04:43 PM
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Re: A joke

Lil Johnny is sitting in class and raises his hand to ask for permission to go to the bathroom.

The teacher says "yes, Johnny?"

Johnny says "I really need to uninate."

Teacher "Wow, that's a big word Johnny. If you can use it in a sentence, I will let you go."

Johnny thinks for a moment......

Johnny says "I got it. You are quite pretty and urinate."

Teacher looks very confused.

Johnny says "Yeah, urinate but with a little plastic surgery you could be a 9 or a 10."
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  #69  
Old 09-11-17, 06:25 PM
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Re: A joke

Teacher: "Kids, what does the chicken give you?"
Student: "Meat!"
Teacher: "Very good! Now what does the pig give you?"
Student: "Bacon!"
Teacher: "Great! And what does the fat cow give you?"
Student: "Homework!"
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  #70  
Old 09-11-17, 06:26 PM
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Re: A joke

A child asked his father, "How were people born?" So his father said, "Adam and Eve made babies, then their babies became adults and made babies, and so on." The child then went to his mother, asked her the same question and she told him, "We were monkeys then we evolved to become like we are now." The child ran back to his father and said, "You lied to me!" His father replied, "No, your mom was talking about her side of the family."
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  #71  
Old 09-11-17, 06:27 PM
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Re: A joke

Teacher: "If I gave you 2 cats and another 2 cats and another 2, how many would you have?"
Johnny: "Seven."
Teacher: "No, listen carefully... If I gave you two cats, and another two cats and another two, how many would you have?"
Johnny: "Seven."
Teacher: "Let me put it to you differently. If I gave you two apples, and another two apples and another two, how many would you have?"
Johnny: "Six."
Teacher: "Good. Now if I gave you two cats, and another two cats and another two, how many would you have?"
Johnny: "Seven!"
Teacher: "Johnny, where in the heck do you get seven from?!"
Johnny: "Because I've already got a freaking cat!"
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  #72  
Old 09-12-17, 03:48 PM
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Re: A joke

Old and corny joke but I still like it.

Two peanuts were walking down the street, one was assaulted.
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  #73  
Old 09-12-17, 03:51 PM
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Re: A joke

Why don't they play poker in Africa? Too many Cheetahs.
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  #74  
Old 09-12-17, 03:55 PM
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Re: A joke

Why didn't the toilet paper cross the road?


It got stuck in a crack.
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  #75  
Old 09-12-17, 03:57 PM
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Re: A joke

If Will Smith got lost in a snow storm how would you find him?

Easy, just follow the Fresh Prince
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