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  #16  
Old 12-31-18, 06:09 PM
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Re: serious question, about smarts and mental disorders.,

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Originally Posted by Drogheda98 View Post



but damn man, it seems that every high iq person has something, dyslexia, comorbids, adhd. I've just been able o self reflect, and I don't know if it's because of my adhd or over controlling parents. I find myself asking myself "why is my family screwed up", then I witness my mother refracting behaviors that my father and other family members internolizes and I have to try my damndestto keep my cool, remembering everything that my therapist has said.

...

I guess, if anyone is willingm to provide a link to why it is that smart people, specificly, usually have some sort of thing to overcome. I'm just tired tonight, and needed to vent for a bit, seeing those similar to myself, struggeling with the same issues man,, it's hard to know that this is the case sometime. I have to study transactional analysis to be who I am to not **** others off, when it seems that, others are just overly ambisious to walk over me and still, I have to fly like the pheonix to not walk on eggshells anymore, a balancing act to be sure.


I would guess (but don't know for sure) that we simply don't hear about the
Mensa-people who haven't had to overcome some disability or disorder. There
wasn't anything interesting about them except for the fact they *are* smart.
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  #17  
Old 12-31-18, 07:36 PM
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Re: serious question, about smarts and mental disorders.,

nah, I'm not talking about just being smart, I'm talking about what I can do that matches my values and my beliefs and lining them up with my own compassion. you know, what I find awe inspiring.

take for instance astronomy, I was able to complete a course(not just in astronomy, but most courses I find interesting) in 2 weeks, literally 2 weeks. that number seems to align with most of the things I find interesting in one way or another. in photography without instruction, I was able to compete on a international level in just a little over 2 years.

that's not bragging, that's how I operate, everything I know and love I'm able to do extremely swiftly. however, I think to others the way that I operate *does* come off as bragging and for the love of everything, I'm trying to figure out how not to come off as bragging.

in college, in econ courses we did simulation, I did my best and came out on top in both simulations... way on top. however, in those classes, no one wanted to hear how I did it, I even made suggestions trying to help others, self reflecting on the how some of the more fine tuned elements in the econ simulations gave me the upper edge (up to a 10%). other's only seem to pinpoint the smartness aspect of myself and it's incredibly hard to relate to others when, you know, there is so much more to why I do what I do and I try to relate that information all around, that seems to be what people see (and ya, I started this thread like that, I'm just now starting to figure this out right now so...)

the reason I did so well in astronomy was simply because I thought that the entire course's where fascinating, awe inspiring. yet all anyone else(again, ya I started the thread in a down manner like this, I'm not blaming anyone just, figuring out this situation right now) see's is "he is smart".

in photography, same thing, in only 2 years I was able to compete with professionals.

however in photography, the entire time I wasn't thinking about where I was going, I just did photography because it was super fun. it's the bit of "in 2 years I was able to compete with professionals around the world" that I think comes off as bragging. that is an achievement, I celebrate other peoples achievments and I'm compassionate about other peoples achievments. I get to a certain point where I'm achieving and I've started to think achieving is a horrible thing. it seems that, no one cares about my achievements.

I could say in a self reflecting way "just do what you do because you are good at what you do and find what you do exhilarating, it doesn't matter what others say " however, no one wants to hear it, I don't know if that is just a local thing(south) or what.

on my work vacation when I competed internationally, I traveled places I've never been, met so many nice and wonderfull people, saw sights that where fantastic. everyone just saw the photo's "pretty photo's", no one asked me how I was doing the entire time, no one asked me about my adventures in colorodo and nevada and arizona. everyone just see's the achievments that I hardly ever aim for, they don't... see me

and that is the same sentiment echo'd on those boards, either quora or that facebook group. right now I'm posting this knowing that I might get blowback, however, just like everyone else people who are smart have to talk to actually know themselfs, or else we are just stuck talking to ourselfs. I know I'm smart and I could care less that I am, and I don't know if that's a good thing or not.
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Old 12-31-18, 09:14 PM
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Re: serious question, about smarts and mental disorders.,

Internationally where?


What type of medication do you take?
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Old 12-31-18, 09:17 PM
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Re: serious question, about smarts and mental disorders.,

Competing with professionals for what?

What are your published works with whom?
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Old 12-31-18, 09:35 PM
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Re: serious question, about smarts and mental disorders.,

here is one of the photos I took that got me some international acclaim as a photographer. with this and several other photo's I competed with some of the top photographers in the world. I was almost in the finals to have my photo's exhibited in Amsterdam via gurushots. I was in the top 2000 rankings

I'm not making any of this up.

photo.jpg
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  #21  
Old 12-31-18, 09:47 PM
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Re: serious question, about smarts and mental disorders.,

Astronomy and meteorology? For a pilot's license?
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  #22  
Old 12-31-18, 10:02 PM
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Re: serious question, about smarts and mental disorders.,

well, I wanted to become an astrophysicist. those photo's where for a competition on gurushots. kind of a compensation for not being able to live the astrophysicist dream.

on one hand when I produce work and show the work(thinking of the past, not the present), people think I'm all achievments, I had to get out of the mindset to not show off, however, you know, when you can do the things you want to do(self reflection) you produce achievements. on the other,(self reflection) when you produce achievments people can think you are showing off, which... I'm just doing what I can do.

it's like, when I talk about my own mental processes people think I'm making it up, however, when I show the product first people can think I'm just showing off.

I guess, you know, I just want people to ask me how I am doing, that's new to me(or would be new). ya I tend to set myself on fire in an entrepreneurial spirit(the phoenix symbolism), work fast on what I want do do
(I'm not kidding about the number 2, I can think of a host of courses I've completed in 2 weeks when the courses are actually 3 months).

Im not the achievments though, I'm a person. the adventure in colorodo and arizona and nevada was fantastic.

I just, don't want to have to prove myself for the things that I know I can do, I just want to do and have the outcome be what it is. if I planned the vacation, the outcome (which I did some), I would have never actually gotten the best photo's I did. a lot of that was just exploring the landscape, finding an atlas at a diner on the road and flipping through it to see what caught my eye.
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Old 12-31-18, 11:33 PM
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Re: serious question, about smarts and mental disorders.,

Keep your cards closer.
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Old 01-01-19, 12:58 AM
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Re: serious question, about smarts and mental disorders.,

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no one in my family believes in me, except for perhaps my brother. he was the golden child, I was the ghost child and my sister the scapegoat. I've never lived up to my potential because of my mothers iron reign, and that is mostly what therapy has been about, connecting all those dots. it's hard, when you (self reflection) knows that you are really smart however, your mother (my mother) commands with a you statment (refractive I think, turns the brain into gue unless you know how to dismiss projections), to say " can you do these two very simple things", makes you think you can't handle things you can(self reflective).

ehh I'm sorry, just sort of, down tonight and need to vent.
You are not on the right forum for this issue. Neither is the smart group. You won't get what you need from either.

You may get some more constructive advice from an adult children of narcissists forum. Deal with that and life gets easier
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  #25  
Old 01-01-19, 04:22 AM
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Re: serious question, about smarts and mental disorders.,

a lot of this is just talking(wrighting) to myself, I invite anyone to critisize because critisism is the only way in which I learn how to communicate better, what works and what doesn't.

I can self reflect, and ya, I am digging up old wounds tudorose. I'm not afraid to sit in the wounds and self reflect to heal. I truly know what this is and unlocked that door to see myself long ago. you know, you(self reflection), I'm not afraid to look in the mirror and burn judges inside of me instead of outside of me, same with old scripts that I'm unlocking and ego statments.

and I know just saying I'm compassionate is kind of lame, and I'm ok with that, I'm alright with self deprecating humor. the therapist did his magic and I've allreaddy moved through them, and now ya, thanks to yourself tudorose, I see that wound. more self reflection is needed to heal that particular wound.

also, and I know this is kind of lame of me to admit right here, like "look at this guy thinking he is so cool with his words and and s''t(working on humor ) however, I am fully capable of visualizing and feeling what other people feel from their own perspective.... which is, you know, hard to do on discussion boards.... uhh, I am way less robotic in person, and that's alright, I'm getting this. I know the difference between self talk and talking to others, I can often find a projection that I am projecting (and ya you caught one turdose that I need to sit in for a while).

ehh, I just kind of think that the boards are kind of, an extension of therapy. I know were perfection is, perfection is that we are all human beings and of equal value because we are human beings. every person is perfect just the way we all are because of that fact, that we are humans. the 0 so to speak. perfection from being a human does not mean that we can't change aspects of ourselfs that we don't like(ehh, that I don't like in myself that is, other people are responsible for the same) because ya, I'm smart, doesn't make me more human than anyone else, and I get that. any kind of critisism is welcome and you know, you(SR) can really change who you(SR) are. I think just in this thread I've changed a lot, and that is exactly why I made the thread, to see the limits of where my ego can go.

I get the psyche(or at-least parts of it), the blinds in my windows in my room are removed (that has value), I've allreaddy battled the darkness and that... heh, that was an interesting event, it's all life drive from here on out, learning to communicate properly with people. for a good couple of months I didn't do any of that and I could feel my cognition slipping, so I guess, thats another reason I'm writing so much . the more I wright the more I connect the dots on just how far this can go in any direction while talking to people.

so I'm looking for advice. my mind is just, fast. even in this thread I've changed a lot just looking at each post and the TA from them. when I'm on, I engage in behavior really fast. I know a lot about a lot of stuff because curiosity is a core component of who I am, it's part of my personality. when I denied that part of myself, I slipped cognitively, I could feel the cloud in my mind, and to love oneself one has to love everything about oneself

thats right, I'm remembering something my therapist said long ago, the connections to people, you talk about photography stuff to people that are interested in photography, same with space stuff, business stuff etc...(I don't think I have to say SR anymore). I could be wrong but this is the place for self healing, asking advice, landing on my face heh, etc...

you are like a lighthouse for the acquired knowledge you have, however, you only talk about such knowledge in appropriate situations, I get it now. you do not brag about what you can do, you show what you can do with the acquired knowledge and skills you have(all sr).

all these dots where what I where looking for, to connect em for a bright new year.

sense the beginning of therapy, I've always been determined even in the darkest parts, I always had hope and courage. turdose(sp) I think I needed that kick in the pants so to speak to keep me on my feet, I leget thank you turdose. any critisism is welcome even though, most of this here is just me talking to myself and reorganizing idea's
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  #26  
Old 01-01-19, 11:31 AM
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Re: serious question, about smarts and mental disorders.,

I guess I am trying to grasp what it is you are saying or asking in this thread. Is this about being so smart but having a disability? Or is it having a place to lament all the troubles with being smart? or is it simply because you want to share how being smart is difficult for you? Or is it because you feel you cant share how smart you are because people get jealous?
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Old 01-01-19, 12:49 PM
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Re: serious question, about smarts and mental disorders.,

Quote:
Originally Posted by Drogheda98 View Post
a lot of this is just talking(wrighting) to myself, I invite anyone to critisize because critisism is the only way in which I learn how to communicate better, what works and what doesn't.

I can self reflect, and ya, I am digging up old wounds tudorose. I'm not afraid to sit in the wounds and self reflect to heal. I truly know what this is and unlocked that door to see myself long ago. you know, you(self reflection), I'm not afraid to look in the mirror and burn judges inside of me instead of outside of me, same with old scripts that I'm unlocking and ego statments.

and I know just saying I'm compassionate is kind of lame, and I'm ok with that, I'm alright with self deprecating humor. the therapist did his magic and I've allreaddy moved through them, and now ya, thanks to yourself tudorose, I see that wound. more self reflection is needed to heal that particular wound.

also, and I know this is kind of lame of me to admit right here, like "look at this guy thinking he is so cool with his words and and s''t(working on humor ) however, I am fully capable of visualizing and feeling what other people feel from their own perspective.... which is, you know, hard to do on discussion boards.... uhh, I am way less robotic in person, and that's alright, I'm getting this. I know the difference between self talk and talking to others, I can often find a projection that I am projecting (and ya you caught one turdose that I need to sit in for a while).

ehh, I just kind of think that the boards are kind of, an extension of therapy. I know were perfection is, perfection is that we are all human beings and of equal value because we are human beings. every person is perfect just the way we all are because of that fact, that we are humans. the 0 so to speak. perfection from being a human does not mean that we can't change aspects of ourselfs that we don't like(ehh, that I don't like in myself that is, other people are responsible for the same) because ya, I'm smart, doesn't make me more human than anyone else, and I get that. any kind of critisism is welcome and you know, you(SR) can really change who you(SR) are. I think just in this thread I've changed a lot, and that is exactly why I made the thread, to see the limits of where my ego can go.

I get the psyche(or at-least parts of it), the blinds in my windows in my room are removed (that has value), I've allreaddy battled the darkness and that... heh, that was an interesting event, it's all life drive from here on out, learning to communicate properly with people. for a good couple of months I didn't do any of that and I could feel my cognition slipping, so I guess, thats another reason I'm writing so much . the more I wright the more I connect the dots on just how far this can go in any direction while talking to people.

so I'm looking for advice. my mind is just, fast. even in this thread I've changed a lot just looking at each post and the TA from them. when I'm on, I engage in behavior really fast. I know a lot about a lot of stuff because curiosity is a core component of who I am, it's part of my personality. when I denied that part of myself, I slipped cognitively, I could feel the cloud in my mind, and to love oneself one has to love everything about oneself

thats right, I'm remembering something my therapist said long ago, the connections to people, you talk about photography stuff to people that are interested in photography, same with space stuff, business stuff etc...(I don't think I have to say SR anymore). I could be wrong but this is the place for self healing, asking advice, landing on my face heh, etc...

you are like a lighthouse for the acquired knowledge you have, however, you only talk about such knowledge in appropriate situations, I get it now. you do not brag about what you can do, you show what you can do with the acquired knowledge and skills you have(all sr).

all these dots where what I where looking for, to connect em for a bright new year.

sense the beginning of therapy, I've always been determined even in the darkest parts, I always had hope and courage. turdose(sp) I think I needed that kick in the pants so to speak to keep me on my feet, I leget thank you turdose. any critisism is welcome even though, most of this here is just me talking to myself and reorganizing idea's
Actually, this reminds me of my friend from high school, so smart and got good
grades ... but I swear she didn't have the common sense to go with it.

I had more common sense than her, and I have ADHD and ASD.
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Old 01-01-19, 01:56 PM
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Re: serious question, about smarts and mental disorders.,

well, we all talk about ourselfs to know ourselfs, atleast I think. the message I received growing up was "shut up and don't say anything about yourself" (pointed at me).

this particular element of myself I have never really talked about, or, I should say, never tried to communicate to others in an appropriate way. sometimes (like the first of this thread) I would sort of push the subject. I'm done bragging, however, to stop bragging you(sr) have to sort of , you know, talk about this part of who you(sr, ehh, all you's are sr unless you is pointed at someone else, like " x were x is a name followed by a *you*", I believe I have that right anyways.) are to figure out the balance needed. and I have learned a lot in this thread already.

and I'll admit, the starting of this thread I was a bit overwhelmed by the Christmas week. I'm really starting to understand were everyone is coming from from their own super ego and this statments and was a bit(more than a bit) overwhelmed, you know, you have to talk about stuff when you are hurting, bottling up emotions is the exact way of letting the darkness in, I'm done with all of that.

to directly answer your question sarasweets, it's a bit of your third and fourth statement. I'm figuring out right now when it's appropriate to share what I can do and when it isn't. and ya, people do get jealous and with that in mind.
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Old 01-01-19, 02:18 PM
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Re: serious question, about smarts and mental disorders.,

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Actually, this reminds me of my friend from high school, so smart and got good
grades ... but I swear she didn't have the common sense to go with it.

I had more common sense than her, and I have ADHD and ASD.
it's those kind of statments that actually hurt. I'm not bottling up emotions anymore, but I am being tactful. I'm trying to figure out how to communicate that I am smart to folks in a non threatening way. maybee, give people like me a little slack?

anyway, this thread isn't about your friend. have a beef with me, or if, you know.... have actual advice to give me, the person writing this, not your friend, that would be cool because that is exactly what I'm looking for, advice and criticism, hopefully constructive.

the comment I made to turdose(sp) was about the therapeutic process and where I have been, it was directed souly at her because I think she knows about that process.
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Old 01-01-19, 02:52 PM
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Re: serious question, about smarts and mental disorders.,

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it's those kind of statments that actually hurt. I'm not bottling up emotions anymore, but I am being tactful. I'm trying to figure out how to communicate that I am smart to folks in a non threatening way. maybee, give people like me a little slack?

anyway, this thread isn't about your friend. have a beef with me, or if, you know.... have actual advice to give me, the person writing this, not your friend, that would be cool because that is exactly what I'm looking for, advice and criticism, hopefully constructive.

the comment I made to turdose(sp) was about the therapeutic process and where I have been, it was directed souly at her because I think she knows about that process.
I didn't mean to hurt your feelings, didn't even think about it coming across that way.
But I know I've been hurt by the judgments that I'm not smart enough. I actually have
an IQ of about 135 but am not able to harness and use that intelligence well.

Also ... I was meaning my response as insight into what seems to be going on.
Sometimes we see a little spark of light that throws everything into a different
context. If that's not helpful in any way, I'll just move along now.
__________________
ADD is not a problem of knowing what to do; it is a problem of doing what you know.
-RUSSELL A. BARKLEY, PH.D.


As far as I know, there is nothing positive about ADHD that people can't have w out ADHD. ~ ADD me
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