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  #12046  
Old 01-04-17, 11:36 AM
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Re: The what's bothering you RIGHT NOW thread Part III

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Seems like the clinic isn't affected by the wildfires, which to me is a great relieve.
This is great news! Thanks for the update!
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Old 01-04-17, 12:00 PM
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Re: The what's bothering you RIGHT NOW thread Part III

Ran out of Magic Fairy 12mg 50pg/50vg (got some coming in the mail), so I using some honeysuckle backup I was given as a gift that is 18mg 70pg/30vg...kinda blech...not the best flavor, low clouds, and it smells like a Memphis brothel in early summer.

OK, OK, I don’t know what such a place really smells like, but I can imagine, and this smells like I remember Memphis honeysuckle smelling at that time of the season, but in a cheap perfume kind of way.


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  #12048  
Old 01-04-17, 12:01 PM
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Re: The what's bothering you RIGHT NOW thread Part III

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Originally Posted by Little Missy View Post
Undoubtedly. Plus that damned Fetzima causes agitation and I'm the target. I'm calming down now. She never treated me this way before nor did my parents so even though I can rationalize and understand the causes, it hurts my feelings! So, I will go in there and toughen up myself. Besides, the whole day she's pleasant. It is always the last two hours. I'm just too sensitive.

Thank you!
My emotions seem to have no concept of reason. Hurtful things hurt even when you know where they are coming from. Hope yokirrow will be better!!
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  #12049  
Old 01-04-17, 12:55 PM
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Re: The what's bothering you RIGHT NOW thread Part III

I want a ribeye, potato au gratin, and asparagus for lunch, but I am going to end up having something far, far more pedestrian.

Yet my mind will not give up this fantasy.

Maybe I am missing some kind of nutrient.

And there’s proper linen napkins and a bottle of cab sauv.

And a flourless chocolate torte.

And Stan Getz and Charlie Byrd playing.


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  #12050  
Old 01-04-17, 01:30 PM
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Re: The what's bothering you RIGHT NOW thread Part III

I wish I wasn't so freaking awkward and stiff in so many social situations.
I wish I didn't feel so rigid. I think I come across as super serious.
I'd love to be able to relax and let my guard down once in awhile. Just be one of the guys without my damn anxieties flaring up.

How do people do it? Let their guards down and just have fun so easily in large social gatherings? I don't get it.
I think this is a bit of the asperger's (which I've suspected I have for years now) in me.
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  #12051  
Old 01-04-17, 01:45 PM
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Re: The what's bothering you RIGHT NOW thread Part III

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Originally Posted by psychopathetic View Post
I wish I wasn't so freaking awkward and stiff in so many social situations.
I wish I didn't feel so rigid. I think I come across as super serious.
I'd love to be able to relax and let my guard down once in awhile. Just be one of the guys without my damn anxieties flaring up.

How do people do it? Let their guards down and just have fun so easily in large social gatherings? I don't get it.
I think this is a bit of the asperger's (which I've suspected I have for years now) in me.
For me, I’m always smiles- and laughter-seeking, so my need for that is such that I just gotta be relaxed and go with the flow.

And for sure, Dexedrine helps, especially when the group becomes a crowd.


Cheers,
Ian
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  #12052  
Old 01-04-17, 02:08 PM
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Re: The what's bothering you RIGHT NOW thread Part III

Thinking about soybean oil, the smell of it and the yucky taste it permeates anything it is in.
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  #12053  
Old 01-04-17, 02:08 PM
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Re: The what's bothering you RIGHT NOW thread Part III

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Originally Posted by psychopathetic View Post
I wish I wasn't so freaking awkward and stiff in so many social situations.
I wish I didn't feel so rigid. I think I come across as super serious.
I'd love to be able to relax and let my guard down once in awhile. Just be one of the guys without my damn anxieties flaring up.

How do people do it? Let their guards down and just have fun so easily in large social gatherings? I don't get it.
I think this is a bit of the asperger's (which I've suspected I have for years now) in me.
Where is it that you want to go socially?
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  #12054  
Old 01-04-17, 03:13 PM
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Re: The what's bothering you RIGHT NOW thread Part III

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Umm..my problems are Petty slimy ugly enbarassing???

This really made me laugh and I needed thst right now to make being awake slightly less unpleasant.

I agree too. I do feel embarassed to share really silly issues (though not enough to stop sharing I guess) and I do feel very petty and yes it's reassuring when I see I'm not thr only one who gets bothered by stuff.

I'm actually quite encouraged to share my even pettier thoughts but I'd run out of time.

When I was younger my parents had huge expectations too. They still do. Mainly to be happy but in the way they want me to be happy and by doing things they think should make me happy.
You know, I considered removing any reference to what you shared, realizing I might come across as though I was implying what you described was petty, slimy, etc. I frequently make errors like that, as my ADD continues to push me along the bow wave rapidly, leaving uncorrected gaffs like that one. I'm glad you didn't want to strangle me for that. (Or, perhaps you did, but maybe you decided to have mercy on me.)

You see, I don't mind confessing to a personal problem like say, "My right arm was cut clean off today as I was clearing my 73 acres of dense redwoods out back. My 400 lb professional, extra heavy duty, monstrous chain saw popped out of my hand when the 800 foot tree I was felling was struck by lightening. I was finishing my horizontal notch cut 14 feet deep into her side (using only my left hand) when, without warning, that bolt of 10 billion volts cracked through a twenty-six ton branch dangling overhead. I'm truly grateful it was just my arm, only nine teeth, and merely six vertebrae that were smashed into a millions pieces and I'm delighted that it required only 17,000 stitches to sew me back together."

Now, that's the kind of thing I don't mind sharing.
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  #12055  
Old 01-04-17, 03:21 PM
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Re: The what's bothering you RIGHT NOW thread Part III

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Originally Posted by psychopathetic View Post
I wish I wasn't so freaking awkward and stiff in so many social situations.
I wish I didn't feel so rigid. I think I come across as super serious.
I'd love to be able to relax and let my guard down once in awhile. Just be one of the guys without my damn anxieties flaring up.

How do people do it? Let their guards down and just have fun so easily in large social gatherings? I don't get it.
I think this is a bit of the asperger's (which I've suspected I have for years now) in me.
I wish I would shut my trap once in a while. Wish I wasn't so free and loose, cracking dumb jokes all the time. I have practically no inhibitions any more. Can't keep quiet and be mature, acting my age like everyone else. Don't know what's wrong with me. Everywhere I go, I stand out like a big clown, always performing and acting like a complete doofus. Don't know how others can be so hip and suave.

Just in case a little comparison might be helpful.

Last edited by Letching Gray; 01-04-17 at 03:33 PM..
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  #12056  
Old 01-04-17, 03:22 PM
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Re: The what's bothering you RIGHT NOW thread Part III

Well the good thing is, is that you're at least left with 1 hand. That's all you really need to be a part of these forums!


(((Letch)))

p.s.
I sure hope your post was made for an example only and that the whole losing an arm thing wasn't based of any true events...and that this comment I'm leaving here hasn't offended you or anything. lol
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  #12057  
Old 01-04-17, 03:37 PM
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Re: The what's bothering you RIGHT NOW thread Part III

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Originally Posted by Little Missy View Post
Where is it that you want to go socially?
Nowhere.
Everywhere.
lol

I use to play a lot of a card game (magic the gathering) at a local gaming shop...but have taken a break from the game this year. I bumped into the card shop owner at the store though yesterday and he tried to start up a conversation with me.
And I was so nervous that I could feel myself stiffen up. My throat constricted a bit and I went a bit rigid. He's a cool guy who I could spend all day talking with about this game...and neither of us would bore of the conversation.
But dang.

And I'd LOOOOOVE to be able to hang at his shop and just be one of the guys. But I become so freaking serious. I have the hardest time just kicking back and playing this game for fun. I'm always so super focused and intense. I mean I smile and everything...but it's clear I'm there to play and to win.

And I just feel so awkward inside. So distant from everyone.
I'll watch all the guys in the shop and they'll be laughing and joking and making snide (in friendly ways) remarks to each other...and I want that so bad!
Or there's a form of this game that's big at the shop that's all about playing casually and having fun (commander) and I've tried playing these a few times...but I always feel like I suck all the fun out of the games because I don't get how to play casual...I'm ruthless and I can't even begin to imagine running non-ruthless decks. I'm the a-hole at the table who just played a Cataclysm an hour into a 8 man commander game. And I assure you I didn't play it for laughs and giggles.

I don't know I just get so serious. I don't understand how to do the whole 'chit-chat' kinds of things. Light talk. I don't get joking around in the way these guys joke around...and I want to get it!
I'm too tight inside to laugh. I may fake laugh so I don't stand out like a sore thumb...but that's all it ever is...fake.

So I don't know. I'm just awkward and aloof. I'm very much so there and focused, and yet I'm still very far away and distant. Different.
I just want to be one of the guys. I want to know what it's like to be able to loosen up and laugh in a social situation. I mean real laughter too. I want to know what it's like to joke around without being so dang analytical, or too dumb to get the jokes, or too slow because I have to process each and every world that leaves my lips.
What's it like to be spontaneous?

Sorry for the long vent/ramble/rant here.
I'd just like to loosen up a bit though. It's damn draining to be in social situations where I feel so awkward and different.
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  #12058  
Old 01-04-17, 03:40 PM
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Re: The what's bothering you RIGHT NOW thread Part III

The chain of spiraling thoughts that nearly made me start crying on transit. I'll revisit this later. I'm glad I was able to stop myself.
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Old 01-04-17, 03:46 PM
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Re: The what's bothering you RIGHT NOW thread Part III

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Well the good thing is, is that you're at least left with 1 hand. That's all you really need to be a part of these forums!


(((Letch)))
I know, but during the war my left hand was shot to pieces as I alone engaged the enemy, 3,000 heavily armed gorillas, in a 128 degree, 98 percent humidity, snake infested swamp in southeast Asia. Yea, I was hired as a decorated sniper with bulls eyes accuracy at 2 miles. Then, out of nowhere, they flew in a dozen Mig Fighters and dropped 4,000 tons of incendiary bombs. They ambushed me. Had to have 47 reconstructive surgeries after I fought my way out of the 100 feet deep lion pit, with just one knife to free myself.
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Old 01-04-17, 03:55 PM
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Re: The what's bothering you RIGHT NOW thread Part III

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I know, but during the war my left hand was shot to pieces as I alone engaged the enemy, 3,000 heavily armed gorillas, in a 128 degree, 98 percent humidity, snake infested swamp in southeast Asia. Yea, I was hired as a decorated sniper with bulls eyes accuracy at 2 miles. Then, out of nowhere, they flew in a dozen Mig Fighters and dropped 4,000 tons of incendiary bombs. They ambushed me. Had to have 47 reconstructive surgeries after I fought my way out of the 100 feet deep lion pit, with just one knife to free myself.
Wow, sounds like you've had it tough, Letching

I am glad you made it and joined these forums
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