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  #12136  
Old 01-07-17, 08:16 PM
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Re: The what's bothering you RIGHT NOW thread Part III

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Originally Posted by Little Missy View Post
Sometimes they send you the bill first, don't ask me why, but it happens.
Well it's not the first time I've went to this clinic and I never had a bill before.. that's why it's weird. It even says that the pending insurance is $0 as if to say the insurance didn't cover.... I hope I can resolve this issue easily without having to actually pay out of pocket... it's nearly 400 dollars and I only have about $1400 in my bank account and no income at the moment... I really wanted to save up my money and hate to see the little I have get wasted because of this silly issue with my insurance.
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  #12137  
Old 01-07-17, 09:55 PM
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Re: The what's bothering you RIGHT NOW thread Part III

Benign fasciculation and myoclonus from coffee.

Damn does it hurt.


Aargh,
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  #12138  
Old 01-07-17, 10:33 PM
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Re: The what's bothering you RIGHT NOW thread Part III

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Originally Posted by psychopathetic View Post

And man...I SO wish I had you to play with. lol I don't mind that I don't really have friends very often...but dang...I'm so wanting to get more and more into board games and to expand my collection of them...but it's so hard to do so without anyone to play with (though...I do play many of the games by myself haha...where I play both players! ).
And I was really excited to get a bunch of light-mid weight games for my mom and me to play...but dang...she's proving VERY difficult. She acts as if I'm asking her to do something really bad most the time I ask if she wants to play a game . I was hoping games would be something we could bond over.../sigh.

Oh jeeze lols...sorry for the big ramble here!
I love this kind of stuff though! Trading card games, board games, miniature tabletop games. I could talk about this stuff all night if someone would let me! lol

whenever my family gets together (me my mom and my brother) we all play Catan (and he got the expansion pack with WATER), a little card game called Love Letter, Courtier (which is from the same universe as Love Letter) and this other game called Carcassonne and he just got us ANOTHER GAME called Tsuro and ugh they're all just SO GOOD

i couldnt do a table top game though. i just wouldnt be invested in it, but i always admire people who do get really into it omg
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  #12139  
Old 01-07-17, 10:52 PM
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Re: The what's bothering you RIGHT NOW thread Part III

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Originally Posted by Hermus View Post
Got confronted with my sex and love addiction again and fell back into old behaviour. A girl from rehab that I kept in touch with because I'm sexually interested in her, and who is still in South Africa herself, texted me. I decided to text back, while the right option for my recovery would be not to do that. Every time I engage in addictive behaviour I feel more guilt about it and I'm not even enjoying it in any way anymore. Yet, it seems like I keep relapsing. I start to realize more and more that I'm really powerless over my addiction.
i understand, though i wouldn't necessarily call it powerlessness; it was habit for so long and your brain thinks thats what you want but YOU are the one who wants to rewire that.. and i'm sure that a bunch of people have told you that relapse is natural and part of the process (or i hope they have, though i know the guilt wont magically go away) (sometimes i have trouble resisting mine as well but i've built up enough reasons/alternatives for not doing it to be pretty successful).

but relapse, i think, is sort of like this (imagine it's someone on a video you took home or in a pamphlet or whatever idc):

"Okay, so now you've just started recovery. Congratulations! Soon you'll be in control of your addictions. For a little while. Maybe a couple days, maybe even a couple weeks go by----- and then you'll relapse. It'll feel horrible. But then you get right back up and continue -- not start over, continue, because you don't recover without relapsing (even though you'll still want to do your best to avoid it!). Eventually, each relapse will become more and more spread out, until it's months in between, and eventually years in between, and then maybe even decades. But you don't get there without tripping over a bunch of rocks and sticks and vines and other annoying (and awful) things on your path. Eventually, you'll be able to walk right past them or right over them. You'll probably always know they're there, because you're probably not blind, and sometimes you might feel tired of jumping over all those hurdles... But you're likely better-equipped and you have what you need to make it past, and you know you don't want to trip over something again, because it hurts and you get scrapes and maybe a bruise or two and it sucks. There might be times when your life gets to a point where you feel like the only thing that can help you is the previous addictions, but you can't let that get in your way of success and health. Have fun!!!"


I hope that doesn't make too light of your situation, but I feel like it's a pretty good ....... metaphor???? idk but I hope it can help you not feel terrible about it ): just remember that YOU're not weak, and there is no perfect road to recovery.
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  #12140  
Old 01-08-17, 11:08 AM
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Re: The what's bothering you RIGHT NOW thread Part III

My father died of ALS back in 2014.

This morning, some part of me wanted to talk to him, and it felt like new news that I could not, and that I never would again.

At the same time that I understood, I also felt bewildered, and I was overwhelmed with grief and loss.

I had a short cry, but a powerful one, and then in less than a minute, it was over and the feeling had passed.


Blesséd Be,
Ian
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  #12141  
Old 01-08-17, 11:30 AM
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Re: The what's bothering you RIGHT NOW thread Part III

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Originally Posted by aeon View Post
My father died of ALS back in 2014.

This morning, some part of me wanted to talk to him, and it felt like new news that I could not, and that I never would again.

At the same time that I understood, I also felt bewildered, and I was overwhelmed with grief and loss.

I had a short cry, but a powerful one, and then in less than a minute, it was over and the feeling had passed.


Blesséd Be,
Ian
This is one of the worst parts of dealing with a loss is being unable to share good news or bad with your parent(s). It rips open the empty hole even further.
And yes, a big ole cry is about all you can do.
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  #12142  
Old 01-08-17, 11:56 AM
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Re: The what's bothering you RIGHT NOW thread Part III

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Originally Posted by aeon View Post
My father died of ALS back in 2014.

This morning, some part of me wanted to talk to him, and it felt like new news that I could not, and that I never would again.

At the same time that I understood, I also felt bewildered, and I was overwhelmed with grief and loss.

I had a short cry, but a powerful one, and then in less than a minute, it was over and the feeling had passed.


Blesséd Be,
Ian
I dream about dead people . . . my mom, my dad, my ex. Had one last night.

Didn't sleep well last night, the wind is fitful and Murphy kept barking at it,
waking me up. Dumb dog.
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  #12143  
Old 01-08-17, 05:42 PM
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Re: The what's bothering you RIGHT NOW thread Part III

I hyperfocus a game which is no good idea.
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  #12144  
Old 01-08-17, 06:23 PM
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Re: The what's bothering you RIGHT NOW thread Part III

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Hope you are feeling better today missy
Much, much worse but rx cough syrup on the way! They deliver *weak smile*
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  #12145  
Old 01-08-17, 06:39 PM
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Re: The what's bothering you RIGHT NOW thread Part III

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Originally Posted by Little Missy View Post
Much, much worse but rx cough syrup on the way! They deliver *weak smile*
Why!? Are you snowed in??
  #12146  
Old 01-08-17, 06:41 PM
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Re: The what's bothering you RIGHT NOW thread Part III

My parents staying here indefinitely really stinks. I'm dtarting to go crazy again mainly because of the stress of not knowing if hubby is going to explode when he finally can't bear it amynore.
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  #12147  
Old 01-08-17, 09:59 PM
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Re: The what's bothering you RIGHT NOW thread Part III

:*(
(((((((My Lil Miss Sicky Sick)))))))

&

(((((((Fuzz Fuzzsters)))))))
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  #12148  
Old 01-08-17, 09:59 PM
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Re: The what's bothering you RIGHT NOW thread Part III

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Why!? Are you snowed in??
No, I just didn't want to drive a mile.
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  #12149  
Old 01-08-17, 10:03 PM
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Re: The what's bothering you RIGHT NOW thread Part III

You know...I think I look normal on the outside. I mean through other people's eyes. Maybe they see me as out of shape and such, but they certainly don't see me as being socially akward.

And dang...I was walking around today feeling perfectly normal.

And then I went through the drive through at a fast food place...and then I couldn't hardly talk because my words were coming out all wonky and I started to fumble on them and stutter...

And then it becomes painfully clear. Sometimes even though I appear perfectly normal, sometimes even though I feel perfectly normal...
I still have my struggles .

Just makes me sad. I'm not going to beat myself up though damn it. I didn't mean to make a fool of myself. It's not like I did this to myself.
I just didn't need the reminder though tonight. I was doing perfectly fine without being reminded that sometimes I suck at doing this whole "human" thing.
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  #12150  
Old 01-08-17, 10:06 PM
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Re: The what's bothering you RIGHT NOW thread Part III

BONUS GAME!:

Take a shot of whiskey each time I use the word "perfectly" in the post above! I assure you...you'll be perfectly drunk!
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