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Old 04-16-15, 09:25 PM
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Job interview tomorrow - nervous

As a few of you know, I have been unemployed for the past 4 months. I have been depressed and before that the anxiety I felt before each shift of work was absolutely devastating, and crippling, leaving me to be the most quiet person at work, show no personality, and quite frankly be looked at as the odd ball.(at least I thought so).

Anyways, the interview is not really what I am nervous about, it's if I get hired. I NAIL interviews, I have always done the "fake it until you make it" and didn't realize it until late 2014 where my world came crashing down, after I began to think I had adhd and all the fun stuff that comes with it.

The thing I am most nervous about is giving into things I do not want to. Me and the chef at the restaurant who called me for the interview, talked briefly on the phone and set the thing up. He asked me if I am interested in full time or part time, I said "I prefer part time, at least until I get my feet wet".
So already I am worrying about that, and ruminating quite a bit, I do not want full time, at all, and I want to be a prep cook, not a line cook, this time. They are hiring for both, and I am worried I may just give into being a full time line cook, instead of a part time prep cook, which is what I want.

How do I stick to my guns if I need the job so badly? I don't want to get into another cycle of hating my job, because I gave into everything they asked of me, I don't want to be a yes man anymore, I want to have balance, and in order to have balance I need to eliminate the stress of having no income, but also have plenty of time to relax and just try enjoying my life. It has been so long, and I just want to be happy. Of course though, I cannot mention this to him in the interview cause I feel I will probably sound like a nut.

Hoping it goes well, I know I will nail it, but afterwards my personality will lack, perhaps due to my suspected social anxiety, or adhd, or depression, whatever the reason is, I have trouble being myself and I put on that act to get by.

I need to somehow make it clear I only want 3 shifts a week, and not full 8 hour days if its possible but I am sure I can live with that.
All this being said, I am worrying about everything about this place, it's a steakhouse, the reviews are very good(so extremely busy), and I don't even want to cook anymore to begin with, but it's all I know. Another thing is it's not on a direct bus route so I am worrying I will be late quite often.

Wish me luck
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Old 04-16-15, 10:03 PM
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Re: Job interview tomorrow - nervous

Wow, good luck Kent!

I don't know how you can stick with your guns.
I do think it's important that you start out slow like you're wanting to though. Jumping in full time will very likely only lead to overwhelming you and burning you out...and you'll be stuck where you've been stuck before...dreading and hating your job .

Maybe keep this in mind:
We support you!
We fully support your decision to only start out at part time.

Maybe that's been part of your problem in the past. Guilt and shame?
Do you feel ashamed that you can't do 'full time' even though (to the outside world) you 'should' be able to?
Perhaps you feel guilty about not being able to do full on full time...and there for you become a 'yes man' and do whatever your employee tells you to.

So maybe it'll help just to know that you've got people on the otherside of the coin who fully support your needs to go slow, and not only support it, but understand it and don't in anyway look at is as anything to be ashamed about.

I don't know, it's just an idea.

Also...will you get free meals working there? lol
I worked as a bartender at a steak house for a few weeks many years ago, and I always got a free meal at the end of the day. Best part of the job for sure! (sure as heck wasn't the non-existent tips! lol)
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Old 04-16-15, 10:28 PM
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Re: Job interview tomorrow - nervous

Thanks bud, I'm not sure what my deal is. I felt like a puppet to my parents for most of my childhood, always doing things I never wanted to, like Tae Kwon Doe, swimming lessons, getting a job at 14 wiht my brother. All those things have probably led me to believe that I need to do things I hate doing, and have limited my options for success in other fields.

Part of my nervousness for this is that I need a job, but because I don't want this with all my heart I may not try hard to get it, but I need it and some income, and if he is only looking for full time, well, that's what I am worried about.

I realize as I am writing this I have hated every job I have ever had, eventually. I usually enjoy it for a while, but something will happen, I won't get a raise, it will get to repetitive, I won't fit in with the people, something happens that makes me hate it and I move on or even worse, just dread it for a long time. That first job I got was a crappy diner franchise called Salisbury House, and I hated it since they treated their employees as disposable, never gave me more then a dime raise, and I stayed there for 5 years, hated it for 3 at least. I have worked full tiem since I was 15, WITH high school bright and early at 8:30am. My schedule from 15 on was pretty much 8:30am-3:30pm school, 4:00pm-11pm work. Just garbage. My parents encouraged it. They stopped making me lunches cause I could spend my money and blah blah, basically leaving me be since I have had work.

So with this being said, I have virtually NEVER worked part time, I don't know what it's like.. How could someone just work 3 days a week and ENJOY a LONG WEEKEND every week? It's mind boggling to me, but I want it so bad.

As for guilt and shame, I have never gotten the description I want for those words, I can't explain how I feel about work. The best answer I can come up with is "I am not motivated by money" and to a certain degree I am not, so work feels utterly pointless, and a waste of my life. I wish I could just explore the world and enjoy all that the beauty that has been given to us, without having to look at it through a window.


Edit: ah, forgot to answer the last question, I'm sure tehre is a discount of some sort, although I could care less. I used to gobble down food at my old jobs but as my experience has grown I have learnt a lot about sanitization, standards, and food storage. Kind of makes me disinterested in some of it.
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Old 04-17-15, 12:10 AM
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Re: Job interview tomorrow - nervous

Wishing you the best in whatever takes place. I wouldn't offer up too much. Take notes, have a couple questions ready for them, too.

Just let them know the flow of your life currently limits you to p/t hours, and you would most likely thrive if allowed to demonstrate your strengths in the area you most want to work in. Or something like that. It's hard to play a role to get a role you don't really dig, in any arena.

Don't forget to breathe deeply and often with a straight spine. Best of luck to ya'!!
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Old 04-17-15, 01:14 AM
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Re: Job interview tomorrow - nervous

Make a list with your requirements and take it with you to make sure you mention them. Best of luck
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Old 04-17-15, 08:51 AM
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Re: Job interview tomorrow - nervous

I am one of those 'I'll do whatever you want whenever you want' pre-employees and then after I get the job I just sort of adapt my working style to what I want.

Go get 'em Tiger!
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Old 04-17-15, 09:12 AM
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Re: Job interview tomorrow - nervous

I'm really good at interviewing. Here's what I do. 5 minutes before its time to interview, go to the bathroom and find a stall, preferably one with a mirror. Look directly into the mirror and say to yourself "I am a chicken sht and deserve nothing" then slap yourself with the right and then left hand. You want to use force but not enough to walk into the interview red faced. Next spin in place until dizzy and throw up in the toilet if needed. After that find a corner and lay in it in the fetal position with your thumb in your mouth. You want to think about how inept you are at everything during this time. Lastly look in the mirror once more and think about how crazy you are for what you just did. Works for me.
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Old 04-17-15, 09:37 AM
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Re: Job interview tomorrow - nervous

Good luck kent
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Old 04-17-15, 08:36 PM
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Re: Job interview tomorrow - nervous

Hey, Kent...hoping it went okay today ...looking forward to hearing back from ya, and I'm really hoping they offered you the kind of position you are hoping for!
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Old 04-18-15, 03:37 AM
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Re: Job interview tomorrow - nervous

There was a place I worked after the last job i had, worked there for 2 shifts. I was a wreck last night and stayed up all night, so I couldn't handle doing an interview, the anxiety was too much, the location was too far, people there may not like me, I still feel awkward, i dont know, my mind made up a million excuses after someone i used to work with had told me the place i was going to for the interview was horrible and had bad turnover with staff.... So, it shut me down, and I feel like a ******* loser for it. Bad day.

AT LEAST THOUGH, I texted the GM of the restaraunt I had worked at for 2 days, shortly after my crappy job back in December.. He expressed interest in having me back, as my buddy works there and he knows how skilled I am as a Line cook. The 2 days I worked there were fairly relaxing I suppose, not very busy, and there is a lot of simple no brainer type things I can do there that will mean the world to them since the restaraunt has lazy cooks, so here's hoping today wasn't a complete waste of a day......
But right now, I still feel liek a complete failure.
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Old 04-18-15, 04:36 AM
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Re: Job interview tomorrow - nervous

Bah, I'm sorry man

I know it's not worth much, but I don't think you're a failure.

You knew the job wasn't right for you...so you're only saving yourself from a hell of a lot of turmoil. It very well could've done more damage to you and your self esteem then it would've ever have been worth.
So even though you feel like sh** about it, and even though you feel like a big failure...you very likely made the right decision.
I know money is a serious concern of yours right now, but there will be more opportunities down the road for you. It'd be great if something happened with the restaurant you worked at in December again!

I sure as hell know what it's like to toss and turn and make myself both physically and mentally sick the night before decisions like this. I hate it...it's crazy how dark the world can get.

(((Kent)))

Just so you know...I truly am not disapointed in you.
I hope you don't get stuck kicking your own a** for too long man
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Old 04-18-15, 05:47 AM
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Re: Job interview tomorrow - nervous

Take it easy
You had mixed feelīgs about that job in the first place ,maybe your intuition was tellīng you something

This second opportunity sounds promising
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Old 04-18-15, 06:33 AM
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Re: Job interview tomorrow - nervous

Kent you're not a failure
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Old 04-18-15, 07:23 AM
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Re: Job interview tomorrow - nervous

If what you need to live exceeds what you like about the job you should try to get it, If its a toss up then its up to you.
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Old 04-18-15, 07:32 AM
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Re: Job interview tomorrow - nervous

Sometimes you have to learn to love your work. And when you find that love, stick with it.

Go for it!
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