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  #136  
Old 12-05-08, 08:04 PM
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Re: Do you tell people you have ADD?

Well, it makes me wonder when the 'excuse' issue comes up so often. There are a lot of people out there who have no idea they have add, reaching out to them by being honest about yourself, the difficulties and the pluses might be a valid reason for coming out of the closet.
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  #137  
Old 12-13-08, 05:51 AM
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Re: Do you tell people you have ADD?

For me, my family and close friends have figured I've had it so it was no great shocker to them when I told them I had finally been diagnosed. Otherwise, my partners at work know I have ADD, but otherwise I don't really say much about it. The meds have helped me socially in various settings so that helps take the "HEY EVERYBODY, THIS GUY'S GOT ADD!!!!" flashing lights and arrows sign off me when I talk.

It's just one of those things I don't talk much about to those who don't need to know. I am certainly not ashamed of it, but I've learned through the years that the less certain people know about you, the better off you are.

Excellent question, by the way.
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  #138  
Old 12-13-08, 08:08 AM
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Re: Do you tell people you have ADD?

It's a tough question isnt it? Over the years I have learned to be a master at concealing myself and my faults. I had almost lost the ability to have an honest relationship with anyone. I was really hating my sense of isolation. Right now I am telling almost ayone except employers or people who might pass it back to them. For me part of the process of freeing myself is to accept vulnerability and be honest.
I am so sick of being guarded- and having to conceal my ADD induced mistakes.
It hasn't anthing to do with what other people think. It is all about my freedom to be comfortable in my own skin.
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  #139  
Old 12-17-08, 05:24 PM
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Re: Do you tell people you have ADD?

I tell my friends that I suspect I have ADD and have been trying to get an evaluation, and generally they're just like "That's cool, I mean if it will help". They see my house, they hear about my problems, so I think that they're understanding.


I mentioned that I was 99% sure I had ADD in my math class to some fellow students, and they didn't really doubt it (I had just been saying how I nearly had stroke forcing myself to do 2 weeks of homework and a take home test the night prior to the final).

If I were to mention it at my work however, I'm not sure if many people would understand, because I mostly suffer in a home and academic setting. The issues I have at work aren't very noticeable to others (extreme boredom, day dreaming, pinballing thoughts, disorganization) because I work by myself all day doing a nightmarishly boring job that is very easy.

*sigh* This post has taken me about 20 minutes to write....
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  #140  
Old 12-21-08, 04:28 PM
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Re: Do you tell people you have ADD?

I know, I shouldn't brag, but I admit, I do.
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  #141  
Old 12-23-08, 04:44 AM
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Re: Do you tell people you have ADD?

Well, my family knows but other than that I'm pretty tight-lipped about it. I don't want people to misunderstand and think less of me or use it as grounds to judge me or assume I'm stupid. I'm even tight lipped with really close friends; ones I know would be understanding. I'm debating telling one friend who teases me in a friendly way about my clumsiness but also patiently offers pointers. But I really don't want even these people possibly thinking less of me in any way. Even thought this fear exists mainly in my own head, I'm certain that these friends I'm really close to will be understanding. Yet still, I keep it from them
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  #142  
Old 12-24-08, 11:32 PM
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Re: Do you tell people you have ADD?

Well, I think I might have too. I was demoted at work essentially because I am having trouble focusing on it. Read my post in new members for more details, but I am going to the doc on monday about it and if I am AD/HD and if I tell them I am getting help, they might think about promoting me back?
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  #143  
Old 12-30-08, 05:58 PM
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Re: Do you tell people you have ADD?

I love the honesty.....
Thank you so much!
and by the way...I still hide!
One day!
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  #144  
Old 12-30-08, 06:47 PM
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Re: [b]Do you tell people you have ADD?

Quote:
Originally Posted by MissAdhd View Post
I'm honest with those close to me.. the difference Meds have made in my life is pretty obvious..

But to those who are not in my close circle.. it's none of their business
Seems like the wisest additude to me. Public awareness is getting better, but it's still a risk to have people make stupid judgments that could affect your livelihood, your children's education, etc.
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  #145  
Old 12-30-08, 10:49 PM
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Re: Do you tell people you have ADD?

I have told some family but not all. I am not embarrassed about it, I have decided that I have only been diagnosed for six months now that I will focus on getting myself better and regulated on my meds before I open myself up to the people that I anticipate will have an opinionated reaction. My friends know and I have all been very supportive.
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  #146  
Old 01-08-09, 10:55 PM
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Re: Do you tell people you have ADD?

I told my immediate family and my closest friends. I don't just tell anyone though.
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  #147  
Old 01-10-09, 04:03 PM
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Re: Do you tell people you have ADD?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Jediknight36 View Post
Well, I think I might have too. I was demoted at work essentially because I am having trouble focusing on it. Read my post in new members for more details, but I am going to the doc on monday about it and if I am AD/HD and if I tell them I am getting help, they might think about promoting me back?

It's possible... once they see that you're able to focus better, they might at least consider it... I know I've been there. I've been demoted... more than once... I'd start doing my job good at first, then I guess, either lost interest or had trouble focusing or both.. so I was assigned a different "duty".. not that I enjoyed... this has happened several times in my life, until I finally got around to going to a psych dr and getting on ADD meds (after I got evaluated as I suggested to the State Vocational Rehab agency after I suspected that I might have ADD)...

I wish you the best of luck...
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  #148  
Old 01-11-09, 10:52 PM
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How open are you about discussing your ADD with other people?

I feel that ADD does not have the stigma many other psych-issues/disorders have. ADD doesn't make us nuts, or evil, or necessarily stupid. But it does have it's challenges and affects our lives in many ways. Most importantly, I feel like I need to discuss my ADD with people to explain my behavior. I mean I'm not going around telling everyone I have ADD, but I have no shame in saying that I have it.

I enjoy talking to other people with ADD (several of my friends have ADD). I also like explaining it to people who don't have it or don't know about it (for example, explaining inattentive type ADD - most people hold a stereotype that people with ADD are bouncing off the walls, this isn't true for many). Knowing that my friends/acquaintances understand that I have ADD makes me feel more comfortable because they can take it into consideration when evaluating me or my behavior, on and off of meds.

So do you think ADD is something you can discuss with people? Do you?
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  #149  
Old 01-11-09, 11:34 PM
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Re: How open are you about discussing your ADD with other people?

I think this topic is appearing in a few other posts, just in a different context.
I'm just not feeling like re-writing everything I wrote in another post so I'll just paste it here if you don't mind.

Quote:
Originally Posted by wsmac View Post
Personally, I have never had the apprehension some folks seem to have over telling people I am diagnosed with ADD/HD.

Partly, I think, because my actions and inactions are so much in everyone's face that I just want them to know it's not because I choose to be this way... it's just the way my brain is wired.

Also, I don't come from this as seeing myself with a disorder.
Honestly, since my second diagnosis, I am pretty adamant that this is NORMAL.. normal for me!
My own unique person is no threat to anyone else, and I have positive abilities and traits that other people around don't usually seem to have or utilize as well as I do.

It's that perspective, I think, that helps me stay pretty happy most any day.
And I am not afraid to tell anyone about the label ADD/HD that I use to explain my awesome but sometimes frustrating way of being!

As to your issue...

I just don't see why you wouldn't tell him. I mean, I don't think you have to set up a specific time and place to divulge it.
Personally, I think if you treat is as a delicate issue, that indicates you believe there is something 'wrong' with you, so then why shouldn't other people around you view it the same way?
I mean.. after all, they're going take cues from you as to how they should be around you and treat you... well, sometimes that is

I'd say let it out when the moment offers an opportunity to do so and it just feels right.
This could be while you two are watching a show like 20/20 (is that still on t.v.? that's the program I first learned about add and also adults with add), or Oprah and one of the stories is about ADD/HD or AS, etc.

But then again... some people are very sensitive about their AS also.

Anyway... not to digress!...

If you or your boyfriend does something that illustrates your difficulties because of your ADD/HD, that might be a good time to bring it up.

Above all... do not apologize for it. Do not act like it's something to be ashamed of. Do not treat it as a disease that one needs to get rid of.

Educate yourself about it, if you need to, and start thinking about how you would explain it to anyone.

Personally, I do get stymied sometimes when the other person quips, "Oh I do that too!", yet what they are talking about is a momentary thing with very low significance in their lives.

I've had to start thinking about good examples with which to illustrate what my ADD/HD is all about for me and how it really affects my life in the context of living within our society.

I have had some really good talks with my co-workers, for example, when I explain just how difficult it is for me to perceive time the same way they do... or why, when my schedule includes a day I don't normally work at hours I normally am not there, I am likely to forget about it completely until they call the house looking for me.

Most people I explain this to, seem to take it well and understand the significance of it... or maybe I'm just fooling myself about their reactions

But every once-in-a-while, I come across people who adamantly refuse to believe that my brain does not function EXACTLY like theirs!

I just have to let it slide most times because their opinions and how they treat me will have little to no real effect on my life.

Uh... did I answer your question anywhere in there?
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I have no 'deficit' of attention... I pay attention to TOO many things.
I don't have a 'disorder'... My brain works fine the way it is, society just doesn't have room for my unique talents.

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I know have a new diagnosis: Attention Difference Display / Happy Dance (ADD/HD)... I think it fits!
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Sometimes I worry that if I don't slow down... I'll run my batteries down and won't be able to recharge myself... powered down permanently at such a young age!
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  #150  
Old 01-12-09, 12:16 AM
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Re: How open are you about discussing your ADD with other people?

Quote:
Originally Posted by dkaiser View Post
I feel that ADD does not have the stigma many other psych-issues/disorders have. ADD doesn't make us nuts, or evil, or necessarily stupid. But it does have it's challenges and affects our lives in many ways. Most importantly, I feel like I need to discuss my ADD with people to explain my behavior. I mean I'm not going around telling everyone I have ADD, but I have no shame in saying that I have it.

I enjoy talking to other people with ADD (several of my friends have ADD). I also like explaining it to people who don't have it or don't know about it (for example, explaining inattentive type ADD - most people hold a stereotype that people with ADD are bouncing off the walls, this isn't true for many). Knowing that my friends/acquaintances understand that I have ADD makes me feel more comfortable because they can take it into consideration when evaluating me or my behavior, on and off of meds.

So do you think ADD is something you can discuss with people? Do you?
I enjoy discussing ADHD with others as well. I'm not ashamed of having it (I also have the inattentive ADD) and like you, I like to explain it to others who don't understand what it is and how it affects someone. I've learned a lot about ADHD over the years and my husband and both of our children have it as well. Only my husband has the hyperactive/impulsive type.

Sometimes my children roll their eyes at me and say, "Don't get her started", knowing that I could go on and on about ADHD and all I have learned. I am generally a quiet and introverted person, but get me started on one of my "pet" subjects like ADHD and you may have a hard time shutting me up. I love to help people see a different side to ADHD and correct the many misconceptions people have about the disorder.

ADDMagnet
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