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  #91  
Old 09-16-08, 10:04 PM
Michellee7 Michellee7 is offline
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Re: Do you tell people you have ADD?

Great cape Mantis! That's awesome. I like it. You seem like you'd be fun 2 hang with. You're definitely creative!
:O)
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  #92  
Old 09-17-08, 01:14 PM
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Re: Do you tell people you have ADD?

Family and close friends I will tell, because I know they won't attempt to discredit a valid medical diagnosis with something along the lines of "lazy" or a "need for a drug that creates motivation."

People don't realize it, but when I've done something related to ADD (like procrastinating and delaying projects/papers) i'll joke around and say something along the lines of "i'm so ADD." Well, they don't know i'm actually serious! My little joke on the world!

And I am not on medication yet, but when(wishful thinking) or if I do begin taking them, only my family and really close friends will know. My mom and dad and brother will be first, and I won't bring it up with friends too fast though. Everyone else will be denied knowledge by profuse denial that the meds even exist!
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  #93  
Old 09-21-08, 03:51 PM
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Re: Do you tell people you have ADD?

I tell everyone. Not unlike a few of the replies here, I would only tell those close to me in the beginning. Since then, I've felt that a complete willingness to share it with anyone...even a complete stranger, has had an amazing impact. It also manifests itself in different ways. There are times when the conversation is emotional and contemplative (typically when I'm offering advice to those who feel they may have it or they know someone who may) and there are times when I'm very self-deprecating and laugh about it. If you can get to the point where you truly accept it and channel it in a positive fashion, the doors begin to open. It's quite amazing..
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  #94  
Old 09-21-08, 04:02 PM
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Re: Do you tell people you have ADD?

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Originally Posted by dstewart21 View Post
I tell everyone. Not unlike a few of the replies here, I would only tell those close to me in the beginning. Since then, I've felt that a complete willingness to share it with anyone...even a complete stranger, has had an amazing impact. It also manifests itself in different ways. There are times when the conversation is emotional and contemplative (typically when I'm offering advice to those who feel they may have it or they know someone who may) and there are times when I'm very self-deprecating and laugh about it. If you can get to the point where you truly accept it and channel it in a positive fashion, the doors begin to open. It's quite amazing..
I believe the more we tell others the better others may accept our point of view and may even help those who are ADD or ADHD but don't really know it yet or have a loved one who shows the symptoms and signs of it. Plus, telling them how the medicine helps us. But, I'd still be cautious about who I tell, I'm not sure why... but it's a gut feeling. Of course it matters on how we tell them so they can understand. I only tell people if I sense that they would understand... in a way to let them know it's not a "self-pity" reason that I'm disclosing that information about myself.
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  #95  
Old 09-21-08, 04:18 PM
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Re: Do you tell people you have ADD?

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I believe the more we tell others the better others may accept our point of view and may even help those who are ADD or ADHD but don't really know it yet or have a loved one who shows the symptoms and signs of it. Plus, telling them how the medicine helps us. But, I'd still be cautious about who I tell, I'm not sure why... but it's a gut feeling. Of course it matters on how we tell them so they can understand. I only tell people if I sense that they would understand... in a way to let them know it's not a "self-pity" reason that I'm disclosing that information about myself.
When I have that cautious feeling, that's when the self-deprecating approach works best in my experience. Living with ADD is nothing to be ashamed of. If I'm forthright with someone and I detect a negative or contemptible reaction, then that immediately gives me the discernment I use moving forward with regards to who creates loss in my life and who creates gain...who reveals my weaknesses and who reveals my strengths. In the end, these types of individuals are not who ultimately judge us and I take solace in the fact that I truly accept my life and I refuse to take a step back and wallow in the whole lamenting, poor-me routine. I've replaced all the guilt, shame, conformity and pride with absolute acceptance, responsibility and humor...lots of it. I quite simply do not care if someone walks away from a conversation or a mere encounter with a negative perception. Instead, I choose to live with the notion that when ADD is contained and channeled in a positive fashion, we have boundless gifts to offer the world.

Derrick

P.S. Apologies for the strong tone but I'm very passionate about my beliefs.
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  #96  
Old 09-21-08, 05:04 PM
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Thumbs up Re: Do you tell people you have ADD?

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Originally Posted by dstewart21 View Post
When I have that cautious feeling, that's when the self-deprecating approach works best in my experience. Living with ADD is nothing to be ashamed of. If I'm forthright with someone and I detect a negative or contemptible reaction, then that immediately gives me the discernment I use moving forward with regards to who creates loss in my life and who creates gain...who reveals my weaknesses and who reveals my strengths. In the end, these types of individuals are not who ultimately judge us and I take solace in the fact that I truly accept my life and I refuse to take a step back and wallow in the whole lamenting, poor-me routine. I've replaced all the guilt, shame, conformity and pride with absolute acceptance, responsibility and humor...lots of it. I quite simply do not care if someone walks away from a conversation or a mere encounter with a negative perception. Instead, I choose to live with the notion that when ADD is contained and channeled in a positive fashion, we have boundless gifts to offer the world.

Derrick

P.S. Apologies for the strong tone but I'm very passionate about my beliefs.
I think that's what I meant... of course, I still have trouble expressing myself without being misunderstood... Oops, I guess I did it again! I should have said (if I didn't) that I meant to inform others in a way that I would not seem to be "self-pitying"... Oh well, such is life, ADD life! But, thanks for clarifying that. Of course, I wouldn't mention it during a job interview. And would not mention it after I get a job at least for the first week. I think.. that's a hard one, do I or don't I?
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  #97  
Old 09-21-08, 11:49 PM
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Re: Do you tell people you have ADD?

I'm new to ADD was just recently diagnosed, I haven't told anyone I feel ashamed of it. Not something I want to advertise. I really don't know why anyone has to know about what my mental or physical conditions are, I live with them on a daily basis that is why I have to know. But telling other people even those close to me will just lead them to judge me.

I know I used to think of people on ADD meds as cheaters b/c I thought everyone had some sort of problem paying attention and they were just using the meds to cope with a problem that everyone else does naturally through hard work and pulling themselves up from their boot straps.

That is why I went to a pychiatrist to get a diagnosis, so that I would have some science to back up my claim that I had a problem and needed meds to address the problem. Trying to justify myself that I'm not a cheater and just leveling the playing field.

It seemed like the pharmaceutical companies generate their money by creating a drug and then after that looking for symptoms that a large portion of the population has and creating the condition from those symptoms to sell the drugs.

I am new to ADD, so have a lot to learn about its development and the perception of people on meds and I am open to learn that is why I troll this the addforums daily, everyday I learn something knew.
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  #98  
Old 09-22-08, 02:02 AM
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Re: Do you tell people you have ADD?

Quote:
Originally Posted by johnnyx View Post
I'm new to ADD was just recently diagnosed, I haven't told anyone I feel ashamed of it. Not something I want to advertise. I really don't know why anyone has to know about what my mental or physical conditions are, I live with them on a daily basis that is why I have to know. But telling other people even those close to me will just lead them to judge me.
You should get better friends. Sorry, that came off as rude, but when I go back to school this fall I'll likely tell my friends. One already knows because he told me he has it first. I would have NEVER guessed. Anyway, I don't see them judging me for it.

Quote:
I know I used to think of people on ADD meds as cheaters b/c I thought everyone had some sort of problem paying attention and they were just using the meds to cope with a problem that everyone else does naturally through hard work and pulling themselves up from their boot straps.
Yeah, I know what you mean. ADD seems like one of those things that everybody has to a degree. But after I tried desperately to fix this by myself for over 2 years I decided to get professional help and got told it was ADD.

My philosophy now is to not hide it and just ignore people who look down on me for it. I'm trying to help myself, not them.
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  #99  
Old 09-25-08, 11:09 AM
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Re: Do you tell people you have ADD?

I used to be very open about it, but the negative "Oh please" reaction I get makes me angry, embarassed and upset. I told my sister twice before, and she said everyone has that problem, you're not alone, etc., and then I told her agian last night in regards to meds when I said "Dr. upped the mg of my meds; wants to try psychostimulant if this doesn't work." and she was like "Oh I guess you got what you wanted, huh?" and then proceeded to belittle me and say ADHD is over-diagnosed and everyone has it why do you get to cop out on meds, etc., basically she said to just deal with it. It was so frustrating. I tried defending myself and only managed to portray myself through her eyse as someone I don't even see myself! So yeah, that being the general response I get I don't tell anyone. I've told my non-ADD BF because he was the one who lovingly said I should see someone about my inability to do things and conentration so he was all like "Cool, now we know what's wrong, let's work on working with it." He's also stood by me with all the ups and downs of the meds. So I won't be telling anyone else at all because I can't stand feeling the way peoples' ignorance makes me feel.
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  #100  
Old 09-25-08, 01:23 PM
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Re: Do you tell people you have ADD?

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Originally Posted by PolkaDotCom View Post
I used to be very open about it, but the negative "Oh please" reaction I get makes me angry, embarassed and upset. I told my sister twice before, and she said everyone has that problem, you're not alone, etc., and then I told her agian last night in regards to meds when I said "Dr. upped the mg of my meds; wants to try psychostimulant if this doesn't work." and she was like "Oh I guess you got what you wanted, huh?" and then proceeded to belittle me and say ADHD is over-diagnosed and everyone has it why do you get to cop out on meds, etc., basically she said to just deal with it. It was so frustrating. I tried defending myself and only managed to portray myself through her eyse as someone I don't even see myself! So yeah, that being the general response I get I don't tell anyone. I've told my non-ADD BF because he was the one who lovingly said I should see someone about my inability to do things and conentration so he was all like "Cool, now we know what's wrong, let's work on working with it." He's also stood by me with all the ups and downs of the meds. So I won't be telling anyone else at all because I can't stand feeling the way peoples' ignorance makes me feel.
This comment is made based solely on what you've stated here but if the negative reactions are still bothersome, then you simply aren't ready for this step.

I'm deeming it a step because I truly believe coping, accepting, managing and ultimately having an inner peace with regards to this condition are best achieved when you can speak about it openly.

I'm not suggesting you're taking the "poor me" approach but I will tell you that in my experience (and it doesn't take long to look through these forums to reiterate this point), this approach will not work with individuals such as this...most of which are likely dealing with their own set of problems...whether you see them or not. It takes a special person to genuinely care for another...to listen...to console...to sympathize. Unfortunately, these individuals not as common and accessible as we'd like.

Having said that, this is precisely why I believe a self-deprecating approach works best...especially in the beginning. If you can accept the conditions knowing that you're doing your best (supportive family members, friends, etc.), then you will begin to flourish. Negative comments no longer have the same impact because you have a purpose...a strength...a peace of mind knowing that you look at your past as simply a reference point and not a foreshadowing of guilt, despair and hopelessness.

Blessings,
D
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  #101  
Old 09-25-08, 10:50 PM
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Re: Do you tell people you have ADD?

I only told my boyfriend of 5.5 years who I have lived with for 5 years almost 2 years after I was diagnosed with adhd. I explained the medication I take (ritalin) with the explanation that it works wonders and the jokes started and have not stopped. He also does not believe in any psychological disorder. So now I wonder about a plan to tell him I am off all medications to give myself some peace.
A couple of my good friends are supportive. One however explained to me on evening last year right before Christmas that I have made up the learning disability and the adhd to have a crutch to use if I don't get into Law school. She then went on to "diagnose" me with Schizophrenia for many reasons but I remember best was the one because I have (if you believe) a very keen, weird sense of perception of more than what we see and hear. All of this I had from childhood and my grandmother was the same. I do not broadcast my adhd or the perceptions. And now I developed a full on fear of telling anyone because they could use it against me. Especially my parents as we have never had a relationship for the 30 years, and the past speaks for itself as they do use anything against you. Sad but true.
I feel like a huge fake or that I am a facade to everyone. It is quite sad.
I am so glad to find this site because I do not know anyone in the same boat as the rest of us here.
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  #102  
Old 09-25-08, 11:28 PM
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Re: Do you tell people you have ADD?

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Originally Posted by Outside the Box View Post
I only told my boyfriend of 5.5 years who I have lived with for 5 years almost 2 years after I was diagnosed with adhd. I explained the medication I take (ritalin) with the explanation that it works wonders and the jokes started and have not stopped. He also does not believe in any psychological disorder. So now I wonder about a plan to tell him I am off all medications to give myself some peace.
A couple of my good friends are supportive. One however explained to me on evening last year right before Christmas that I have made up the learning disability and the adhd to have a crutch to use if I don't get into Law school. She then went on to "diagnose" me with Schizophrenia for many reasons but I remember best was the one because I have (if you believe) a very keen, weird sense of perception of more than what we see and hear. All of this I had from childhood and my grandmother was the same. I do not broadcast my adhd or the perceptions. And now I developed a full on fear of telling anyone because they could use it against me. Especially my parents as we have never had a relationship for the 30 years, and the past speaks for itself as they do use anything against you. Sad but true.
I feel like a huge fake or that I am a facade to everyone. It is quite sad.
I am so glad to find this site because I do not know anyone in the same boat as the rest of us here.
As for the facade, I can relate to that. I had a facade for years...an addiction to alcohol, conformity and denial.

Finding faith in my life enabled me to break free. Two revelations along the way have proven to be instrumental: 1. There's only one judge I need to concern myself with and 2. A clarity to envision myself years from now living in regret because of fear.

My suggestion to you is to visit and contribute often. It takes a profound determination to not only accept the conditions, but to live with peace...devoid of fear and the repercussions.

GB,
D
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  #103  
Old 09-26-08, 08:06 PM
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Re: Do you tell people you have ADD?

Im a very private person and dont tell anyone that's not close to me. If i feel like i can trust them i will probably tell them.
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  #104  
Old 09-26-08, 09:32 PM
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Re: Do you tell people you have ADD?

yes, i do. only so they can understand me and can laugh WITH me when i say/do something ADDish during a conversation .. instead of them walking away feeling uncomfortable. lol
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  #105  
Old 10-02-08, 02:43 PM
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Re: Do you tell people you have ADD?

I don't tell people mostly because I don't like the uncomfortable feeling it gives them because they don't know enough about it. My son on the otherhand will tell anyone. He just says "I have ADHD, what do you expect?"
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