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  #121  
Old 11-12-08, 03:31 PM
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Re: Do you tell people you have ADD?

Only my mom and few close friends....the rest, well, its not anything that they need to know.
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  #122  
Old 11-13-08, 12:41 AM
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Smile Re: Do you tell people you have ADD?

My first post and boy can I talk to this point...

I am 32 and up until 2 years ago had told only my girlfriend of 7 years and my mother. Not even my sister knew...It's never been an embarrassment but just the unknown of how it is perceived on the the other end. If I meet someone that tells me they have ADHD I question it simply because it is so over-diagnosed so how can I expect better of others.

So this past year I have been applying for my MBA at multiple schools all in the top 25 and many in the top 10 in the country so I had to explain many things as they scrutinize every single grade and aspect of the application. I mean you can not simply gloss over the fact it took 5.5 years to graduate undergrad? Why I took Business Calculus 4 times? How I got a .79 my freshman year? Why did he fail 1st and 2nd grade? How did he get a 380/800 on the GMAT (required entrance exam--like the SAT's for high school kids--the average is around 690 for these schools)?

They give you between 3-5 essays answering questions like "In 1,500 words or less describe your biggest failure and what you've learned from it." So I went for it and explained everything...I didn't blame anything but rather illustrated the point that I had the first 19 years of my life undiagnosed and how all those things they saw as a negative were in reality the things that allowed me to excel.

It worked and I got 2 offers out of 10...I also got rejected within minutes (literally) from a few schools.

So I guess my point is that if you are going to tell, make sure the person you are telling has the ability to understand that all people are different and bring different things to the table. If you have a manager that in private condemns his boss because she is a woman, I would keep my mouth shut. Also, if you are having issues and ADHD can explain the issues--don't simply blame ADHD but explain why it may appear as one thing but in reality be another and how the other person can perhaps help you.

Also, it can really tell you volumes about people. My girlfriends parents just couldn't understand why it was taking so long for me to get into a school so I said just tell them it takes 12 weeks longer because I am applying for extended time due to ADHD...They visited last week and just couldn't understand why my girlfriend carries my credit cards, keys and phone in her purse...To explain the rate I go through the 3 of them when left to my own devices would fall on deaf ears and now I know that...

Can someone tell me how to post a picture for my profile??? I can't find it.
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  #123  
Old 11-14-08, 03:43 PM
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Re: Do you tell people you have ADD?

GMAT: at the top of the page there is a link called User CP, click on that, and there you can edit or add a picture.
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  #124  
Old 11-16-08, 06:31 AM
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Re: Do you tell people you have ADD?

Ive shared with important people in my life. the rest are on a need to know basis and they usually dont need know
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  #125  
Old 11-16-08, 09:46 AM
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Re: Do you tell people you have ADD?

It's funny, I feel the need to tell people sometimes in order to justify my problems but I never really have. It's not something people easily take in though, if I was to tell it would probably just roll off them and I doubt they would even take me seriously, they'd probably just think I was trying to make up excuses anyway.

I wish I could tell people, but in the end, if people dont care enough to try and understand, then theres really no point in telling them in the first place. Best for only a select few I suppose.
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xraylady33 (11-27-08)
  #126  
Old 11-24-08, 06:25 PM
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Re: Do you tell people you have ADD?

Personally, I tell everyone I meet. I don't think their isn't anyone that knows me that doesn't know. I don't apologize for it. I don't expect different treatment. I don't accept unfair or ignorant criticisms about it. I let people know I am impulsive and say things sometimes I don't intend to. I let them know that I may have to ask them a couple of times about something b/c I'm not paying attention. some people have a hard time with it, but I feel like it's my job to educate them on it. If they choose to continue being ignorant, then that's their decision and their's nothing I can do about it anyway. I am very comfortable being ADHD and anyone who spends more than 10 minutes with me figures it out pretty darn quickly whether I tell them or not. Because I'm so open about it, you would be really surprised how many students or people have come up to me alone to ask questions about it or thank me for being so open and honest with them.

I can also appreciate others who aren't so open about it. I haven't always been this way, but at some point I figured I needed to accept myself for who I was and that would have to include my ADHD. As long as you are open, honest and live your life with integrity, let others see your ADHD and they may even realize how gifted it makes us in other areas.

For example, students don't fall asleep in my lectures because I am so hyperactive I walk among the rows of seats and don't even notice. I'll stop right in front of a students' desk to ask them a question in the middle of lecture. As a result, my students are almost always on top of their studies for my classes because they never know whether I will impulsively pick them that day. Also, I give each semester to a class solely dedicated to ADHD where my students are allowed to openly and honestly ask me questions about it: what's it like?, what's the worst thing about it?, what's the best thing about it?, I think my brother has it, how do I find out?, etc.

So my advice....be you and that includes everything about you. You were made beautiful just the way you are, let that shine through. Is it easy? No. No one said it would be, but I'll take real over easy any day. Just my 2 cents to add to the post.
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  #127  
Old 11-26-08, 04:33 PM
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Re: Do you tell people you have ADD?

I've known I had adhd as long as I can remember. My parents were told to put me on meds at three years of age. They declined and now at age 44 I'm medicated, omg what a difference! As far as telling people, I never did, the thought of having a label was more than grating, I had no forgiveness for my symptoms and felt I could fix it if I just tried hard enough. It didn't work. It's pretty much a testament to ignorance about adhd since I'm a flaming case of it.

I did have one workplace where everyone knew, that's because there were three of us, and we were all the super performers. It was amazing how people took things in stride like when I would be stressed and rushed to the point of incoherence (talking so fast it came out as gibberish) they'd just laugh and say, ok, let's slow that down.

I'm really torn about telling people, on the one hand I have zero desire to be the subject of prejudice and discrimination, on the other hand, it would come really handy when I have one of those 'oops moments' of not hearing even one thing they said and on the third hand (yes I have three when I count really fast) I don't want others to feel the shame I have.
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  #128  
Old 11-26-08, 08:22 PM
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Re: Do you tell people you have ADD?

I tell people that i know closely and that i know arent judgmental, I also just got hired and found out that one of my managers has ADD
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  #129  
Old 11-27-08, 02:33 AM
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Re: Do you tell people you have ADD?

Relative to the person I share my ADHD with. At work, well the cats outside the bag. My word has been spoken. I cannot take it back. BLAH!

My friends and family members have known I was ADHD before I was even DX.
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  #130  
Old 12-04-08, 04:06 PM
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Re: Do you tell people you have ADD?

Yeah I tell everybody, but if anybody gives me any 'tude about it, I say, "well, I'm sorry you feel that way," because it's their problem if they have a problem with it.

ADD/ADHD are nothing to be ashamed of if you are resilient and use the resources available to you to cope, survive, and do good in the world as well as you can. However, if you're one of the people who uses the disorder as an excuse NOT to do these things, you need to change that and get help to change it if you need to.

I work with people who have traumatic brain injuries, alzheimer's, dementia, etc. Trust me, ADD/ADHD does NOT have to be your stigma.
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  #131  
Old 12-04-08, 04:10 PM
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Re: Do you tell people you have ADD?

For example, I told my boss because she needs to understand that I can't listen to her for more than about an hour without taking a 5 minute break or else I won't get everything she's trying to tell me. If I didn't tell her that, she'd think I was being rude or weird, but now she understands. She's a neuropsychologist, though. I guess that other peoples' bosses might not always be so cool and understanding about it.
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  #132  
Old 12-04-08, 05:38 PM
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Re: Do you tell people you have ADD?

I tell people about my ADD and/or Bipolar rather casually. Not in a making excuse kind of way, but in a "those are my quirks" or a why I'm having some inexplicable mood changes.

If I hide them in a closet, it stays a social stima. If I'm matter of fact about it, maybe empathy can grow out of it.
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  #133  
Old 12-04-08, 06:21 PM
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Re: Do you tell people you have ADD?

hmm. i dunno if i definitely have it. i am very sure i do, and i tell my best friends but no one else.
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  #134  
Old 12-04-08, 07:19 PM
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Re: Do you tell people you have ADD?

I don't tell. I have worked to use ADD to may advantage and have been very succesful. I feel it is my competitive advantage over other people, especially since I've managed it for so long. As long as my managers are amazed at my abilities and I can deflect the mistakes, then I am good.
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  #135  
Old 12-05-08, 05:59 PM
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Re: Do you tell people you have ADD?

....interesting. Is telling others a mechanism or deflecting mistakes and having an excuse or is it the pure expression of who we are? Tough question. Any thoughts?
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