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  #136  
Old 12-30-09, 03:59 PM
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Re: Dos and Don't with an AD/HDer

I can relate to all of your posts but...
Now that I know what "this" is I like being ADHD. I would not want to be NT..It would just be too boring. I like having the H part. I like the creativity, the emotion, the excitment, the energy.

It took me a long time and a lot of reading of Dr. Hallowell's books (and a few alternative programs) and fish oils to get me to this place.

I am proud to have ADHD and when I use my powers for good and not for evil I let people know I can do that because of my ADHD.

It is a benefit or a flaw? It is up to you how you spin it. Just like self help books tell you to never think bad of yourself because soon you start to believe it.

I have a magnet that a friend gave me that I put right by the chair that I work from that says,
"I am fairly certain that given a cape and a nice tiara, I could save the world. It is because of ADHD that I feel this way-again thanks to the interventions and age.

LilaADHD
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  #137  
Old 12-30-09, 04:29 PM
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Re: Dos and Don't with an AD/HDer

hehe funny stuff don't think I saw

If you see random things laying around the house please don't touch

A Vacuum in the middle of the living room is a reminder to finish vacuuming
Dish soap in the bathroom means to finish the dishes after you finish vacuuming
and Keys in the fridge means...... umm not sure on this one but please leave them there as we will get hungry long before we find them in whatever spot you decide might be right for them!!
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  #138  
Old 01-05-10, 11:55 AM
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Re: Dos and Don't with an AD/HDer

Please, when I interrupt your conversation or finish your sentence for you, it is not because I am trying to be rude. It is because I am able to determine the outcome of the matter long before anyone else and don't want to sit through a movie I already know the ending to.

I understand how frustrating it must be to watch me begin and not finish time and time again. Please try to imagine how frustrated I am living with it day in, day out.

Those starts and stops aren't failures - I simply haven't found them interesting enough to continue with!

I was listening, really I was...but this thought I just had is really begging me to follow it.
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  #139  
Old 01-05-10, 01:17 PM
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Re: Dos and Don't with an AD/HDer

Quote:
Originally Posted by RedHairedWitch View Post
Alrighty folks, this is what Ive got so far:

Things the person with ADD or ADHD in your life needs you to understand


I am NOT making it up, using a brain disorder as a copout, or trying to excuse my laziness.

I am neither stupid nor slow; please do not treat me as such. AD/HD does not affect intelligence, though it does affect how we use that intelligence.

Understand that my memory works differently than yours. There may be times where you can't believe I forgot (or remembered) something, well that’s a two way street!

Please don't ask me "Well where did you last see ____?" If I knew that, I wouldn't be tearing my house apart looking for it!

Don’t ask me to remind you about something important.

Don’t ask me 'did you remember to bring' such and such when you didn't remember either.

Shouting, “pay attention!” at me is not effective in the slightest.

AD/HD does not mean I am not capable of being successful in life, work, school etc. But please do understand that I work twice as hard as you do for the same results. That deserves respect does it not?

Please spare me your Dr. Phil gleaned advice.

I have a lack of a concept of time. 3 minutes, 30 minutes, 3 hours, 3 days all kind of feel the same, or feel like nothing. Please refrain from such comments as “You’ve been at this for three hours!” three hours is meaningless to me. Please do not expect me to be able to “feel” when it has been 15 minutes, I will not, I cannot.

I have a short attention span. If at all possible, please get straight to the point and spare me all the background information, the whys and wherefores, unless they are absolutely necessary.

If you had any idea how hard I'm trying, maybe you wouldn't get so annoyed.

Please do not assume or expect that I will do, understand, or remember something that is obvious to you.

Do not assume that I am doing, or not doing, certain things simply to upset you or **** you off.

If I am not paying “proper” attention to you, please do not assume it is because I lack love, respect or care for you. I simply cannot help it. Please redirect me in a kind and loving manner.

Please do not assume I am on meds or drugs or a junkie.

Understand I communicate very differently than you. I am trying to understand you, and I am trying to articulate in a way you will understand.
Boy oh boy, do I want to print this out and hand it to my wife! I made #2 above large for a reason...after my recent dx of ADD-PI, my wife and I were watching Jeopardy last night...and of the 61 questions (60 regular & final Jeopardy), I got all but 5 correct. Of course, I then got the "How come you can do so well at this, but can't ____, _____, and ____?"

NTs just won't get it...
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  #140  
Old 01-06-10, 01:08 AM
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Re: Dos and Don't with an AD/HDer

Please don't tell me to focus. It's not helping.
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  #141  
Old 01-06-10, 09:35 AM
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Re: Dos and Don't with an AD/HDer

Please don't ask (in an angry voice) "Have you taken your meds today?"
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  #142  
Old 01-06-10, 10:54 AM
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Re: Dos and Don't with an AD/HDer

If you haven't written it down, you haven't told me!
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  #143  
Old 01-06-10, 01:52 PM
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Re: Dos and Don't with an AD/HDer

Don't be mad at me if I overspend, it's your fault if you gave me too much money to try to manage at one time.
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  #144  
Old 01-08-10, 04:52 PM
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Re: Dos and Don't with an AD/HDer

Quote:
Originally Posted by doiadhd View Post
Don't ask me what rubbish am i watching on the tele-I'M NOT WATCHING IT.
same applies to YouTube obv

Quote:
Originally Posted by birdchica View Post
Please don't tell me to focus. It's not helping.
additionally, adding the word "just" still doesn't help

>> JUST focus
>> JUST do it
>> JUST snap out off it

.... nope, still JUST not helping
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  #145  
Old 01-24-10, 10:21 PM
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Re: Dos and Don't with an AD/HDer

Quote:
Originally Posted by RedHairedWitch View Post
I flipped through a few pages and didn't find a thread like this, so I hope I'm not re-hashing anything, or maybe if I am thats a good thing? lol
I wasn't sure if I should put this in the Support section but I will allow the moderators to worry about that.
Anyways...

What are some DOs and DO NOTs you would reconmend to friends, family loved ones etc who are NT when dealing with a AD/HDer? I know everyone is different, but even if its just to rant a little...


* Do not drop by unexpectedly, please phone first or better yet, give me 24 hours notice. I panic when I see a car pull up in my driveway and I realise the kitchen is a mess and its 3pm and I'm still in my PJs

* Do not bring a friend, especialy a stranger, unexpectly when you are visiting (see above) AD/HDers often suffer from some form of social anxiety an such and this will put that anxiety through the roof.

* Unless you live with me, please refrain from commenting on my messy house.

* Please try to patient if I ask you the same question 3 times (oh, and sorry about that)

* Please don't ask me "Well where did you last see ____?" If I knew that, I wouldn't be tearing my house apart looking for it!

* Please do not tell people about my AD/HD or hint that I have a disorder or mental illness etc, thats my personal information to give to whom I choose, you do not have that right.

* AD/HD may not be "real" to you, but it is to me, so either give me the benifit of the doubt or keep your opinion to yourself.

* I am not stupid or slow, please do not treat me as such.

* Understand that my memory works differently than yours. There may be times where you can't believe I forgot (or remembered) something, well thats a two way street!

* AD/HD does not mean I am not capable of being sucessful in life, work school etc. But please do understand that I work twice as hard as you do for the same results. That deserves respect does it not?

* AD/HD often goes hand in hand with other problems, such as learning disabilities. Also AD/HD comes in varying degrees and types. Not all AD/HDers are created equal, so if you know one AD/HDer do not assume we are all just like that person.

* Unless you are my signifigant other, or I am a child and you're my parent, or your are an concerned employer, please do not comment on my wrinkled blouse or messy hair.

* Unless you live with me, please do not offer to help me clean my house, or organize my cupboards or fix my life for me. Thanks
OMG, what you wrote sounds almost 100% like me- lol
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  #146  
Old 01-25-10, 06:19 AM
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Re: Dos and Don't with an AD/HDer

...don't criticise me. It just makes the noise in my head louder.

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I didn't mean to offend you, it was a slip of the mind
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  #147  
Old 01-28-10, 01:21 AM
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Re: Dos and Don't with an AD/HDer

To paraphrase something I read somewhere....

"I don't want to be like you. I want to be like me, and for that to be okay."
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  #148  
Old 01-30-10, 01:34 AM
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Re: Dos and Don't with an AD/HDer

Excellent thread!

Do: Get straight to the point.
Don't: waste my time...ahem' I mean attention span.
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  #149  
Old 02-05-10, 06:34 PM
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Re: Dos and Don't with an AD/HDer

* Don't remind me about the same thing 3 times.
* I easily forget where the phone/keys/remote is/are.
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  #150  
Old 02-05-10, 09:12 PM
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Re: Dos and Don't with an AD/HDer

LOLOL!! They all fit perfectly! I'm going to copy all of them and print it out as "the manual of me" and give it to everyone close to me who hasn't gotten it by now.
I'll probably keep a few copies around for people who come in to my life. It'll eliminate the years of frustration that always happen before a new NT in my life gets used to my "quirks"!
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