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Old 01-02-09, 01:23 AM
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Re: Dos and Don't with an AD/HDer

From a facebook group called the ADD/ADHD law (http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=2233680125):

This is dedicated to the students who really do have ADD and ADHD and struggle with it. It is also for those who support those with ADD and have stood by our side for years. If it's anything from mild to extreme ADD or ADHD, your pain is understood. Here are laws that govern in
dealing with those who are ADD.

1. When a non-ADD/HD person is speaking is interrupted by an ADD/HD person, you cannot be offended. Understand that it is not because what you are saying is boring, but the said ADD person had a whim.

2. Law of Randomness: Non-ADD/HD people shouldn't look at an ADD/HD person when they make a comment that's out of the blue as if they are alien. If said ADD/HD person wants to say a random fact about coffee when you're talking about the zoo, just smile!

3. For extreme ADD/HD off medication, understand there isn't any moderation in their mood. They are either hyper or tired.

4. If said ADD/HD person is tired, do not bother them. Enjoy the silence because chances are it won't last long.

5. Law of Patience/ Impatience: If you are the friend of a person with mild-extreme ADD/HD, you understand one quality you have to have is patient.
On the part of the person with ADD/HD, they maybe impatient at times (especially if they are hungry, but they are not to be rude about it) If the said ADD/HD person goes to extreme temperments in public, their friend (patient) does have the right to leave or give a gentle slap on the back.

6. Law on Love: Most of the time, ADD/HD people have a lot of love for their friends, family, and significant other. They have different methods of showing it.If you are confused by a certain event, understand that it's their way of saying you are wonderful.

7. Law of Movement: A. When an ADD person twitches or swings their hands around when they speak, know they are not deaf. Do not try their sign language because you will hurt your own mind.
B. When the ADD person is speaking with their hands, don't imitate them because they will be confused even more. This confusion can cause brain damage to said person.

8. A perfectionist or A-type personality thrives on working for their best. ADD/HD people don't have A- or B-type. An ADD/HD person thrives on being social. This is a natural right given to them because of their ADD/HDness. As a non-ADD/HD friend or supporter, the stated must not take said right away from them!
(Certain punishment results in being surrounded by energectic, off-medication ADHD people).

9.Law of Medicated Concentration: When a person with ADD/HD takes their medication and is hard at work, do not poke or prod, or make fun of said person for their intense concentration. If this law is ignored you can expect an angry/panicked reaction from said person, or possibly a 'freak out' (Abby Wood)

10. If you as the friend suggest something to do keep in mind if ADD/HD friend isn't on their medication they will be bored in less than 10 minutes...unless it deals with something of extreme interest. Examples would be ice cream or anything with sugar.

11. If a person breaks into dance in the middle of strange areas, i.e. parking lots, football field, or pedestrian walking while humming their own tune either A) Laugh WITH them. Laughing at them causes serious damage not to be mentioned here. Or B) If person dancing in dangerous place, i.e. middle of the road, non-ADD/HD person must save them.

12. Law of All Over the Place:
A non ADD/HD person may run into their ADD/HD friend more than twice within the timespan of an hour at different places on campus. Do not be afraid because they do not know how to teleport. But, it is normal since ADD/HD people just like to be "all over the place" and keep themselves busily entertained to avoid boredom (aka studying or doing homework).

13. Law of Piles - (and not the ones on your anus! Sick People out there)

Never mess with piles of objects made by one with ADD/HD! This can result in death. Those pile are the person's "filing cabinet" or closet! NEVER mess with piles!

14. Law of Erratic Eyes:
Do not be alarmed if you are in conversation with an ADD/HDer and he or she does not make solid eye contact, but instead glances around constantly as if he only recently survived a zombie attack that he expects to be repeated at any moment. He was not necessarily abused as a child, is not necessarily untrustworthy, and does not necessarily think you are boring and/or unattractive. Nor does it mean you should brace for attack from the rear, turn around to see what the hell he is looking at, or ask if you have something on your face, as this will only distract him. It is just that for an ADD/HDer, looking at one fixed point for any length of time at all is as almost as difficult as chewing gum while laying eggs and levitating. If he or she is standing or sitting in one place to talk to you (or walking around in your general location and picking up random objects to examine while talking to you), accept this as a signal that if he were ADD/HD-free, he would be boring a hole through your eyeballs and into your brain with the weight of his gaze alone, putting you at severe risk for brain hemorrhage.

Corollary: If an ADD/HDer stares you in the eye for more than .7 seconds, and you are not incredibly attractive or incredibly unattractive, you should probably run.

Second Corollary: If he screams, "Look out!" and points to something behind you, be thankful he has ADD/HD and wasn't staring you in the eye. But do it after you have gotten your *** to relative safety, because something bad is about to happen to the back of you.

Law of Mix and Matchness
ADD/HD people have the full right to wear mix-matched socks with-out question. It entertains them, and makes finding socks easier. Instead of trying to find a two blues socks, all we have to do is pull out two socks and put them on.

Law of 'special school'

If an ADD/HD person is at a 'special school', understand that they are not stupid (in fact most ADD/HD people are very smart, they may SEEM to be stupid (see laws 10, 13 and 16) They are there because of the fact that they/we learn Differently!

Laws of Cleaning:
NEVER attempt to clean a ADHD persons room because NO matter HOW messy it may be. it is VERY clean and orginized to them and they know where every thing is. Cleaning there room or even worse organizing it will only cause them confusing and they will more than likely to ether takle you, bit you ankel or pee on you face in while you sleep.

Law of forgetfullness :
ALWAYS respect the time frame when giving an important task to an ADDer... Priorities should always be presented in the morning , 45 min and 2 cups of coffee after the medication , and before 3p.m. , when medication wears out .. if the subject of interest is a non medicated ADDer and the importance of the task is imperative , , the suggestion is to DO IT YOURSELF , and avoid the OPS.. effect or white-lies cover-up syndrome .. ps- did the ADDer who wrote this explained those 2 laws ??? OPS...

law of dance:
If one with add/hd is at a concert and is very erratic, give him/her space...he/she probably wants to dance.....DANCING IS LIKE FISH....GOOD!
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Old 01-02-09, 01:31 AM
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Re: Dos and Don't with an AD/HDer

Cool!
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Old 01-06-09, 02:42 AM
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Re: Dos and Don't with an AD/HDer

Excellent post. Great read, and I have found myself smiling through it.

Oh, and it's all true. Thanks for putting into words what I've wanted to say for so many years.
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Old 01-07-09, 08:56 AM
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Re: Dos and Don't with an AD/HDer

I also like this thread.
I really tried to read everything, so if I mention something that was already said... oh well...

- I can hyperfocus, but that doesn't mean I don't finish the things you want me to do because I don't like them... I also fail to finish things I really, really, want to do!

- Think of my thought process as one of those scrolling signs with the words all lit up and flashing across my mind at a speed faster than my mouth can handle... sure I drop a few words during conversation, but I know what I've been thinking, why can't you just keep up?

- If you want me to finish one task at-a-time, please don't start checking off a to-do list with me. Just write it all down in the order of importance and I'll see what I can do.

- Please stop telling me, "Well, if you'll just ______", I'm 48 years old and have probably tried every smart little idea you want to suggest... if any of them worked I would still be using them!

- I have an iPod Touch (or PDA for some of you) that really helps me to remember stuff, so please allow me time to put down my appointment with you before you carry on with the conversation or walk away or turn away and start talking to someone else... it really doesn't take me more than a minute to type it in.

- Yes, your Honor, I do have trouble sitting still in my seat during Jury Selection.... No your Honor, I am not 'under the influence' of illegal substances... I get my Speed from a Doctor!

- I'm sorry about the delay, my wife/husband, but I've always had to make at least three trips back into the house before leaving for dinner/a movie/vacation because I'm not really sure that I've turned off the stove/iron/tv/computer/bathroom fan/lights, or I can't seem to find my keys/gloves/glasses/wallet/purse/checkbook/shopping list/concert tickets/cell phone/PDA/written directions/meds. Honestly.. I'm not trying to annoy you!

And I promise... when I go back in, ONE LAST TIME, that I'll try really hard not to get distracted because I meant to: set the timer for the lamp before we left - but didn't, leave a note out for the pet sitter, or "gosh! I really meant to put away those clean towels, and .. awww, it'll just take a second...".

Better yet... why don't I wait in the car while you run back in?
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I have no 'deficit' of attention... I pay attention to TOO many things.
I don't have a 'disorder'... My brain works fine the way it is, society just doesn't have room for my unique talents.

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I know have a new diagnosis: Attention Difference Display / Happy Dance (ADD/HD)... I think it fits!
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Sometimes I worry that if I don't slow down... I'll run my batteries down and won't be able to recharge myself... powered down permanently at such a young age!
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Old 01-07-09, 12:35 PM
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Re: Dos and Don't with an AD/HDer

Yeah and talking slower to me doesn't make me remember later what you're saying. I'll forget it later anyway and you know it, besides it makes me feel like an idiot, which I'm not.
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Old 01-07-09, 07:45 PM
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Re: Dos and Don't with an AD/HDer

If I ask you something I've asked you before, don't tell me you told me already. Tell me what you told me last time.

Also, ditto on the stack filing system. Do NOT touch the stacks.
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Old 01-07-09, 09:45 PM
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Re: Dos and Don't with an AD/HDer

Wow. I agree 300% with all of the above and can't think of anything to add at the moment. But I certainly concur with all of it!
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Old 01-14-09, 10:49 AM
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Re: Dos and Don't with an AD/HDer

Yes I lost my key and or wallet AGAIN! And yes I've tried putting them in one spot. But, you see, that doesn't make a difference for me. I'll just lose them again! Why would I do this on purpose? It's a real pain in the *** actually.
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Old 01-14-09, 10:58 AM
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Re: Dos and Don't with an AD/HDer

Yes I know more about pop culture than paying my bills. I retain weird **** and not everyday stuff. Not sure why. I just do. Why not appreciate it? It's a lot more fun than talking about banking. I know the cast of Facts of Life for some reason. And you know a lot about filing your taxes. That's fine with me. Just don't ask me to go for a coffee. Chances are, I 'll freak you out and you'll bore the crap out of me.
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Old 01-14-09, 11:31 AM
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Re: Dos and Don't with an AD/HDer

They are all good but these resonate the most with me from your post.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Gianfranco Zola View Post
1. When a non-ADD/HD person is speaking is interrupted by an ADD/HD person, you cannot be offended. Understand that it is not because what you are saying is boring, but the said ADD person had a whim.

2. Law of Randomness: Non-ADD/HD people shouldn't look at an ADD/HD person when they make a comment that's out of the blue as if they are alien. If said ADD/HD person wants to say a random fact about coffee when you're talking about the zoo, just smile!

13. Law of Piles - (and not the ones on your anus! Sick People out there)

Never mess with piles of objects made by one with ADD/HD! This can result in death. Those pile are the person's "filing cabinet" or closet! NEVER mess with piles!
Also:

DO give me a deadline for something to get done. Otherwise, it will not get done.

DO NOT ask me a million times how something is coming along BEFORE the deadline. I will get it done, I promise

DO make lists for me. I like friendly reminders.

DO NOT interupt me if I am hard at work at something.

DO understand that if I am doodling while you are talking or during a meeting, it means that I am actually paying better attention than if I am blankling staring at you.
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Old 01-14-09, 09:44 PM
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Re: Dos and Don't with an AD/HDer

I love this thread

has anyone said DONT MOVE MY STUFF

sometimes my apt looks like the inside of a dumpster but I KNOW where everything is and its CLEAN
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Old 01-15-09, 09:49 AM
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Re: Dos and Don't with an AD/HDer

Law of piles seconded
voted

passed by a majority
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Old 02-06-09, 12:01 AM
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Re: Dos and Don't with an AD/HDer

Just read this, and enjoyed it immensely!

How bout this one...

- If I walk past dirty dishes/full garbage can/empty toilet paper roll/unmade bed/full laundry basket/empty soda can on coffee table, I actually don't see it. I know it looks like I am pretending to ignore it, but I don't leave it all for you to do on purpose.
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Old 02-12-09, 11:50 PM
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Re: Dos and Don't with an AD/HDer

- Avoid saying "As long as you did your best.". We usually think we could of done better.
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Old 02-13-09, 01:56 AM
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Re: Dos and Don't with an AD/HDer

Say "I know you're trying" and mean it, once in a while.
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