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Women with ADD/ADHD This forum is for women to discuss issues related to being a woman with AD/HD.

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  #1  
Old 04-20-14, 07:47 PM
Greengrasshoppe Greengrasshoppe is offline
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Who has trouble making and keeping friends?

I do. I'm not sure why. I think I'm pretty nice although I can be a little moody. I've read that trouble with friendships is common among ADDers. But I'm not sure what aspect of my ADD is the problem. Even when I make friends it seems to fizzle out after a while and then they seem not to want to be friends anymore.

I have one good friend. I asked her opinion on the matter, but she didn't know what the problem could be either.
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  #2  
Old 04-20-14, 08:24 PM
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Re: Who has trouble making and keeping friends?

As a male Im in the same boat as you. Ive gone counseling for years and still cant get an honest answer so IDK either .
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Old 04-20-14, 09:12 PM
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Re: Who has trouble making and keeping friends?

Do you think it's from having and then losing hyperfocus for people?
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Old 04-20-14, 09:41 PM
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Re: Who has trouble making and keeping friends?

^^^For me, no. I don't think I get hyper focused on friends. Moreso in romantic r'ships. Good question though.
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Old 04-20-14, 09:47 PM
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Re: Who has trouble making and keeping friends?

We can choose to be friends with people. If they choose to be or not to be our friends that is their choice! It is not a reflection on us.

That being said since beggining treatment I have 10 times as many friends as I did before. I even realized all the friends I already had!

Keep it weird!
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Old 04-20-14, 10:42 PM
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Re: Who has trouble making and keeping friends?

Really Nick? That's great! What does your treatment include, meds and therapy? Why do you have more friends now? Can you identify a reason?
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Old 04-21-14, 12:54 AM
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Re: Who has trouble making and keeping friends?

DISCLAIMER (tangent) not complaining -- 50% posts aren't really women.........
------------------------------------------------------------------------
I can say that I had more successful friendships when I became less judgmental
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Old 04-21-14, 02:32 AM
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Re: Who has trouble making and keeping friends?

I don't have friends, but wish i did... The ones that I used to have, I get so into them then I say something stupid when i feel hyper out of no where and that drives them away for good
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Past Rx= Vyvanse 30mg (6/13/14), Adderall 15mg 1/7/14, Medical Marijuana, Smokeless Tobacco, Adderall IR 25mg 4/23/13, Dexedrine IR 20mg, Ritalin IR 60mg.
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Old 04-21-14, 02:42 AM
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Re: Who has trouble making and keeping friends?

I don't have trouble making friends but d i have huge problems keeping friends. well my problem is that most people I don't want to be friends with and when I do like someone I start acting crazy and scare them off. I'm absolutely unbefriendable.

Hoppe what exactly happens?
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  #10  
Old 04-21-14, 03:06 AM
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Re: Who has trouble making and keeping friends?

I think I have more trouble making new friends, than keeping them. I.m afraid to make plans with people.
at the same time i'm so busy with work i need tons of down time.
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Old 04-21-14, 03:24 AM
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Re: Who has trouble making and keeping friends?

I am afraid of having too many friends. So I hide and avoid. Insecurity, lack of assertiveness, limited time and energy. In group settings I am often unpopular but I have no problem attracting 1 on 1 friendships. I am pretty sure I do things to keep people at arm's length and I have a hard time with tender expressions. I am so grateful for the close friendships that I have, I really like my friends. I would like to do better in groups and medium distance relationships.
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Old 04-21-14, 03:49 AM
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Re: Who has trouble making and keeping friends?

Twiggy... me and my friends say alot of stupid things... and we haven't run away from one another yet. Well I kind of did. To another country.

What happens with me is that with new people or groups, I say something 'stupid' when I get hyper.... then *I* hide out of embarrassment, being avoidant and excluding myself.

I got this sense that people can be rejecting for the smallest of reasons and drop others just for being a little 'off' in their minds... so I run away first.
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  #13  
Old 04-21-14, 08:13 PM
Greengrasshoppe Greengrasshoppe is offline
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Re: Who has trouble making and keeping friends?

Quote:
Originally Posted by tryn-optmsm View Post
DISCLAIMER (tangent) not complaining -- 50% posts aren't really women.........
------------------------------------------------------------------------
I can say that I had more successful friendships when I became less judgmental
What do you mean? Judgmental about what?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Fuzzy12 View Post
I don't have trouble making friends but d i have huge problems keeping friends. well my problem is that most people I don't want to be friends with and when I do like someone I start acting crazy and scare them off. I'm absolutely unbefriendable.

Hoppe what exactly happens?
I just feel like people don't really like me. Most of the people who seem to take to me are men, so I assume they usually have an ulterior motive. Sometimes I try to reach out and be friendly with another woman, but they generally don't take to me. I've asked people if they wanted to hang out and sometimes they just say no. When I finally do get a friend who seems to like me, I find a way to flub it up or I for some reason don't like them.

I contrast myself against my manager whom everyone loves. She's leaving and they're having a farewell gathering for her. It made me wonder if I left my job whether anyone would bother attending a farewell forme.

Quote:
Originally Posted by mrs. dobbs View Post
I am afraid of having too many friends. So I hide and avoid. Insecurity, lack of assertiveness, limited time and energy. In group settings I am often unpopular but I have no problem attracting 1 on 1 friendships. I am pretty sure I do things to keep people at arm's length and I have a hard time with tender expressions. I am so grateful for the close friendships that I have, I really like my friends. I would like to do better in groups and medium distance relationships.
What do you mean you're unpopular in groups?
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Old 04-21-14, 08:39 PM
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Re: Who has trouble making and keeping friends?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Greengrasshoppe View Post
What do you mean? Judgmental about what?
Green -- if I acted like a complete Snob -- & weren't accepting of any flaws, Yours OR mine -- would you want me as a friend?
My guess is no....

Quote:
Most of the people who seem to take to me are men,
Throughout my entire life, I Always had more guy friends than women friends. . . it's natural (I'm a PRUDE by the way) .
I don't know a thing about makeup, or anything else that's girly girl.... I do NOT have the patience for girly-girl stuff.... barely know what they consist of apart from makeup.
All my "jobs" were in male dominated environments
(that said, I HATE it when guys see my in a dress and start treating me like a girl/woman --- their entire everything completely changes --- DUDES - it's still me ....)

That all changed in grad-school where I met other strong women like myself.


--- not to rain on anyone's parade -- people 80% of the time love my hyper , when I do something stupid --- all my friends ALWAYS pointed it out. It's Really easy for me to make friends -- 'cause I am REALLY talkative, yet very sensistive to other's feelings and for some reason I could never understand --- people LOVE opening up to me (however uncomfortable that makes me feel) --------------

That said -- I'm in an X year hiatus from life ---> distanced myself from ALL my friends -- who REALLY aren't too happy with me --- though again, everytime I go into the world I make new ones . . . . I'm chatty and hyper -- so people may think I'm interesting and fun (+ I'm rather petite -- non-threatening, unfortunately looks still mean something in every country & society)

*** I never feel comfortable in groups that require adhering to conformity -- I run REALLY fast from those; I'm down to earth (LOVE hiking, e-sports) and gravitate towards similar people

did i mention somewhere that I tend to have long posts and NO patience to edit

disclaimer:I'm combined ADHD (Hyper + InAtent'===> impulsive too) so it's like a Seinfeld episode -- you like gum, I like gum --> let's be BFF's

Last edited by tryn-optmsm; 04-21-14 at 09:01 PM.. Reason: remembered disclaimer:
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Old 04-21-14, 10:54 PM
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Re: Who has trouble making and keeping friends?

I have always had trouble making and keeping friends. It was easier when I was able to get my medication, but now with the trouble at the pharmacies I'm running into, I am beginning to have a hard time handling things again. You aren't alone.
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