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Women with ADD/ADHD This forum is for women to discuss issues related to being a woman with AD/HD.

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  #61  
Old 07-15-14, 03:28 AM
T____y T____y is offline
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Re: Who has trouble making and keeping friends?

Hi!! I have a problem keeping friends. Between losing my phone and poor follow up. And I hate Facebook invites! I'm missed everyone of them
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  #62  
Old 07-15-14, 04:03 AM
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Cool Re: Who has trouble making and keeping friends?

Essentially, I make friends really easily, but I drop them, as well. I'm in my early fifties, and until this week I would have said I was a Nigel No-mates.

Except in the past few days I've :

(a) had a study date with an old friend from my early corporate career days, from 30 years ago, who is also now doing a uni degree;

(b) received an email from an AFS-exchange-student mate (we were at school in Cleveland, Ohio!) ... from 35 years ago, with whom I lost touch for decades, and who I have recently tracked down (he's a sexy architect in Paris; bugger, how did I let HIM get away???);

(c) received an email from a recently-made friend, who I had slacked off contacting during my exams;

(d) .... it goes on.

In the KanBan Flow productivity thread (search on "Accountability"), a group of us ADD-types are acting like pom-pom girls to help each other keep on top of the business of life. I've got a task called "Write to my friend ..." which is helping me get re-connected with long-lost pals, and to stay connected with current ones.

I thought I was a social failure. But it turns out, doing a real time audit can sometimes dispel the myths we have churning around in our head, about being a social loser.

Just sayin' ...
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  #63  
Old 07-16-14, 03:35 PM
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Re: Who has trouble making and keeping friends?

Hi I'm a man I don't have many friends but I don't need them really why would u want people who u think r ur m8s an really all they want r or meds .fu###kem I say her I **** a lot off people off not by choice it just happens .!!!!!!!!!!!!! Live or life the best way u can an just be u an I'll be or friend !!!!!!!!!!!!! Hi I'm Steve
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  #64  
Old 07-27-14, 04:28 PM
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Re: Who has trouble making and keeping friends?

I have had awful luck with friends too. The few that have stuck around get along with me because they have issues of their own. I'm nice and people like me but idk.
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  #65  
Old 08-05-14, 03:33 AM
Jacklynlovett Jacklynlovett is offline
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Re: Who has trouble making and keeping friends?

Wow it's nice, in a sad way, to know that there are others. Besides all those points all of you talked about, I am very weird and strange on top of ADD. Aliens, ghosts, paranormal stuff really interest me. How many girls actually like that stuff? Not a whole lot -.- so it's extremely difficult for me to have and make friends. I usually get bored of the ones that I have nothing in common with then it ends up with me just being alone. I need a weird rocker chick who also has ADD to be my best friend. If I have one person around me that I feel completely comfortable around then I tend to be very outgoing. Strange isn't it?
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  #66  
Old 08-11-14, 10:39 PM
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Re: Who has trouble making and keeping friends?

I have difficulty maintaining some friendships; I find it tiring. Many of my female friends want to sit on the phone chatting for hours, they want to go out all the time...it's draining and time-consuming. I'm not sure how they manage to keep their lives in order with their constant socialising but they do, somehow. Meanwhile if I did the same, my life would spiral into complete disorder.

Sometimes I don't know who the 'abnormal' one is - me or them. I can't fathom needing that much interaction or such complete inability to be alone for a while. I work with one particular friend quite closely - we see/talk to each at work all day. Then she calls me in the evening to talk about things we've already talked about ad nauseum...
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  #67  
Old 08-12-14, 02:00 AM
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Re: Who has trouble making and keeping friends?

Quote:
Originally Posted by mrs. dobbs View Post
Say that someone wants to be friends with you, seeks you out. You give it a go. Then you realize that you find it tedious or otherwise unpleasant. What happens next?
I ask myself if there is something I am resisting and/or afraid of.

I ask myself if my experience was more a function of my headspace at the time than something to do with the person in question.

That's before I move on to thinking about conversational style, self-awareness, boundaries, values, and a ton of other stuff.

I end up being more tedious and overall unpleasant than they were, for certain!
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  #68  
Old 08-13-14, 03:32 PM
Mom2GnJ Mom2GnJ is offline
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Re: Who has trouble making and keeping friends?

Yeah, I don't know why, but I fall into this category as well. I put some effort in, but not too much so I don't come off seeming loony. But others don't reciprocate much. Bah.
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  #69  
Old 09-17-14, 01:16 AM
x2startermom x2startermom is offline
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Re: Who has trouble making and keeping friends?

I have a hard time making and keep friends as well. Mostly because I feel like I have to keep the conversation going. A lot of my conversations are "Hi, How are you?" the end.
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  #70  
Old 10-02-14, 07:51 AM
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Re: Who has trouble making and keeping friends?

I find it quite easy to make friends in the first place when I meet people I get on with (though not so much with very "normal" people, luckily I'm good at finding the "abnormal" types, ha!), but I have trouble sustaining friendships a lot of the time as I struggle with all the stuff you need to do to maintain a friendship (keeping in touch, helping each other out, organising meeting up, replying to texts, being reliable, etc). I have quite a lot of casual friends who seem to enjoy my company but I struggle to turn those types of people into close friends because keeping up with social expectations is overwhelming & exhausting for me; the only thing I'm good at that helps me keep friends is facebook, but even then I do things like forget to reply to messages etc and people start to feel they can't rely on me
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  #71  
Old 10-11-14, 11:29 PM
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Re: Who has trouble making and keeping friends?

Wow, reading all of this is helping me to understand my life and my ups and downs. When I was younger (teens) I had friends (more male) and would have one female friend at a time, for some reason one female friend wouldn't like my other female friend, so I would only be friends one at a time. This also happened in grade school, pattern?

Now, that I'm in my 50's I would rather be alone than try to develop a friendship just in case I can't meet expectations.. mine and theirs. It's hard to commit to anything, a lunch, a day out, a meeting. I have always called myself spontaneous and used that as an excuse to never plan.

I find many people boring for a long period of time, I just dread the family (in-laws) get-to-gethers and can hardly wait for the time to get home again. I'm better with one on one for short spans.

I'm so thankful for finding this place, I'm starting to understand me and to be less judgmental of my life and why I am who I am (hence my username).
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  #72  
Old 10-12-14, 05:26 AM
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Re: Who has trouble making and keeping friends?

I definitely find it hard to make friends and keep them, usually what happens is when we move anywhere we promise to keep in touch but we never do manage it. I've only ever been able to keep in touch with one friend and even then we only really chat over facebook about once a week for a few minutes.
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  #73  
Old 11-06-14, 03:57 PM
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Re: Who has trouble making and keeping friends?

I have always had problems making and keeping friendships. There's a lot of reasons why.

For one, I feel like nobody ever really likes me! I don't know why, but I get the impression that people just think I'm a little off and need to be avoided. I can space out a lot. Other times I can be a little hyper and act in a way that I guess others think is immature for an adult.

I have a hard relating to people. I feel like people don't "get" me.

It's hard for me in social situations. I get bored easily. I can't listen for very long. I get frustrated because other adults just want to sit and chat all the time.

I'm really forgetful. I forget to text people back a lot or answer their message.

I get really lonely sometimes and wish I knew people I could invite out. But then in reality I just can't seem to get along with anybody or I find other people too boring.

It sucks.
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  #74  
Old 11-06-14, 04:16 PM
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Re: Who has trouble making and keeping friends?

Make lovers and enemies....those are a lot more fun. Friends are boring and hard to deal with.
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  #75  
Old 11-06-14, 06:10 PM
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