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Women with ADD/ADHD This forum is for women to discuss issues related to being a woman with AD/HD.

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  #1  
Old 07-31-08, 04:31 AM
ADHDphysicist ADHDphysicist is offline
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I think I finally know what is wrong with me

I am a 30 year old mother of 4 year old and a graduate student in Physics. I always thought there is something wrong with me, I can never focus, or get organized.... I found out about ADD and ADHD through researching due to my son`s daycare where my son somehow acting differently than other kids. ( well,.. he is very smart or gifted,.. he is 3.5 years old and already reading and doing basic substractions and he is acting completelly diffeent outside of the school.. so we are very confused about his stuation) But the good thing is while I was doing research about my son, I realized that I might have just found an answer for my problem which I have since I was a child. Well... that might be confusing that I am a physicist.. and how I did achived all the way up to Graduate school..? IT WAS SO HARD... AND STILL SO HARD because I have to work 100 times more then any other student in the department.. If I sit down to study at 8:00 in the morning and time goes by with daydreaming .. not concentrating and I finaly if I am lucky that day, manage to focus at midnight or later and study as long as I can.. But as I try to study, I cant spend any time with my child, my husband or the regular house work.. I have to do only one thing at a time. I forget things so often, such as finding my key in the morning.. well.. my husband says If I find a regular spot for my key that will solve my problem.. but no it doesnt ,I take the key from there in the morning and I suddenly remember taking somehing else, or go to bathroom,.. and guess what I dont know where I put it again.. I search for it everywhere at least another 20 minutes or so. The problem is this happens so often. I always forget about taking vitamins or even medicines which I must take on time ( if I am sick). And many more things ....

I also think about my childhood, I was a student in a class who always miss what teacher said about the next task while we are supposed to finish the first one. I always found myself asking what did she said? Did we finish the the fist one already? what are the aswers of the first one?.. And than I think about my mother I am almost sure she has all the symtoms of ADHD..

I dont talk so much, but it is because of being scared to say something wrong or stupid.. As I sit down and the enviroment is boring or not interesting for me I start moving or shaking my legs crazy, I even have to scrab my feet to each other as I try to sleep or move my body in the bed( not intentionally, just doing and realizing later ).

I work in the lab and Prof. gives me some task to do and explains it to me but I get so frustrated and nerveous thinking that I wont understand and keep in my mind and of course I cant. And also I am so scared that prof. will realize I am stupid, I dont even ask him to tell me again. I go to lab and sit down and try to figure out from his couple of words that I copied in my memory and it takes me long time to do the task, OF course I am always late

One more thing, I live with WHAT IF something happenes to my husband, to my child or to my mother.... what if , what if and what if...

I just got an appointment from a psychiatrist. What type of tests should be done? If I have the ADHD, would it effect my future job applications?
And can anybody tell me how much ( percentage according to you if possible) the medication helped to you? I had more questions but I already forgot

Thank for this forum, I learn alot
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  #2  
Old 07-31-08, 01:37 PM
2OnyxPercs 2OnyxPercs is offline
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Re: I think I finally know what is wrong with me

I am new here to the boards. I have read them before but not registered.

Anyways, I want to tell you I know how you feel. Sounds very similar to my issues. I was a graduate student in Toxicology. If it wasn't for going to the mental health clinic at the university, I probably wouldn't of ever finished my dissertation. I was put on adderall and wellbutrin, and it saved my graduate career. I haven't been on the medication since I graduated (july 06) and my work is suffering now. My boss has already talked with me about my work performance. I know I must get back on the medication. I will be going to a behavioral clinic/psychiatrist next wednesday. I hope they will put me on the same medication.
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  #3  
Old 07-31-08, 08:30 PM
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Re: I think I finally know what is wrong with me

Yes, you kinda sound like you might belong here. I've been like that my entire life and I've always felt like something was different or wrong with me. I was never able to put my finger on why I was the way I was but I just wasn't like everyone else. As far back as I remember, I struggled in school, was moved away from windows because I'd be interested in what was moving outside as to what I should have been paying attention to in class. I never studied because I never knew where to start. As I grew into an adult, I worked a stressful job that you had to juggle many accounts/phonecalls/customers at a time and I failed miserably at it. I would walk away from my desk when times got hard because I had to "shut down" from being so overwhelmed. My desk was always a bomb and I couldn't find my files.

Then, as a mom and wife and being in charge of my own home was a nightmare. I can barely get out the door somedays with my kids because I have to get myself and them dressed, bathed and packed to get out the door. Just when I thought I would have things under control one of things 3 things would happen: 1.) I wouldnt' be able to find my keys/purse/cellphone. 2.) The dreaded sock would happen (I'd be out the door and see something that needed on the floor and need to put it away and would go to put it in the laundry room, see we didn't have detergent, so I'd go downstairs to write it on my grocery list and start looking for my pen. I'd look for the pen and find a magazine instead and start looking through that. Something would strike my curiosity in a magazine and I'd have to research it online) and I would be late for where I was supposed to be going. or 3.) I'd forget something I was supposed to bring with me.

So, the point of my story is, if you're like this, you know it's miserable. You've probably had a hard time controlling your urge to follow distractions in life. If that's the case, you're doing a great thing by checking up on it with a psychiatrist. As far as testing goes, for me, I was asked to tell as far back in childhood I could what I remember about schooling and my attention problems and I also took this very boring computer test that has you press a key on any letter that pops up except for "x". Depending on how you do will measure your level of distraction.
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Old 08-04-08, 07:15 AM
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Re: I think I finally know what is wrong with me

I can def relate, however, I eventually got bored and tired at college, and just quit (I'm back now starting nursing clinicals in 3 weeks).

My doc sent me for bloodwork for thyroid levels, then I did an abbreviated (3 hours) of tests, they included a music recongnition thing, a computer thing, some definitions, a IQ test, a 300 or so question true false questionaire. I don't know what each of the tests were called. Of course not all in the same day.

Some doctors diagnose without them, I've heard. So your doc may be diff.
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Old 08-21-08, 01:06 AM
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Re: I think I finally know what is wrong with me

I love that you posted this! I can relate 100% Except, I wasn't so lucky in the education department. I was a brilliant student in grade school up to sophmore year in High School....honors and such...but then it all went down hill from there and I struggled a ton! My family was wondering how I could be so bright and intelligent but do so horribly in college and well...in life.

I am just now seeking a diagnosis and treatment.....
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Old 08-21-08, 01:09 AM
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Re: I think I finally know what is wrong with me

re: #1

perhaps your son is different at school (big group) than he is with 1:1 situations. sounds pretty typical for ADDers. We tend to do better with 1:1 situations, such as learning with a tutor, than we do being 'lost' in a class of 20-30 students and just 1 teacher...
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Old 08-21-08, 01:11 AM
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Re: I think I finally know what is wrong with me

re: #5

what you describe can occur b/c high school demands more reliance on the brain's executive functions (typically a challenge for ADDers)...
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Old 08-21-08, 01:17 AM
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Re: I think I finally know what is wrong with me

re: #1 (again)

Psychiatrists don't really do 'testing' for ADD. (Hopefully you won't run into one who 'doesn't beleive' in ADD -- and says this w/o seeing any Neuropsych testing results.)

Testing Psychologists DO do this testing (neuropsych testing), however.

Neuropsych testing assesses brain function deficits (e.g. TOVA test, executive dysfunction tests/games (Trail Making tests; Tower of London; Stroop Test), working memory, auditory memory/processing tests (not same as a hearing test), WCST test, etc.) -- all tests which can be problematic in ADDers.
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Old 08-21-08, 01:56 AM
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Re: I think I finally know what is wrong with me

Wait a second...did you just crawl into my brain and steal all my feelings?



I'm exactly the same...I don't even know where my keys are right now! I spend all day struggling to get through one distraction after another. For years I had no idea what was wrong with me (I'm 34 and just got diagnosed), and thought maybe I was just a big lazy failure. Now I know my brain isn't firing quite right.

I've just started on Adderall, and I'm on a low dose but I do feel it working. The first few days were better...I could focus, the 'brain chatter' was lower, I slept better, I accomplished small things. I'll need to adjust my dose, but it's very promising to feel progress.

I don't know if it is common to ADD sufferers, but I had constant anxiety about my children, to the point I would keep them back from doing things out of fear something would happen. If one was a little late coming home from school my mind would race with all sorts of horrible what-ifs, etc. I've gotten better now that they are older (and have been trained to let me know where they are 24/7), but I wonder if this is connected to ADD?
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Old 09-02-08, 05:27 PM
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Re: I think I finally know what is wrong with me

Quote:
Originally Posted by Araglin View Post
Wait a second...did you just crawl into my brain and steal all my feelings?



I'm exactly the same...I don't even know where my keys are right now! I spend all day struggling to get through one distraction after another. For years I had no idea what was wrong with me (I'm 34 and just got diagnosed), and thought maybe I was just a big lazy failure. Now I know my brain isn't firing quite right.

I've just started on Adderall, and I'm on a low dose but I do feel it working. The first few days were better...I could focus, the 'brain chatter' was lower, I slept better, I accomplished small things. I'll need to adjust my dose, but it's very promising to feel progress.

I don't know if it is common to ADD sufferers, but I had constant anxiety about my children, to the point I would keep them back from doing things out of fear something would happen. If one was a little late coming home from school my mind would race with all sorts of horrible what-ifs, etc. I've gotten better now that they are older (and have been trained to let me know where they are 24/7), but I wonder if this is connected to ADD?
Hey there Araglin
I am 34 years old too and just had a diagnosis. I have started on medication but on Strattera. I started on a low dose and now it has been increased! I think it is working but I have quite a few side effects. Sleeping is becoming nightmare as I am dreaming very vividly! Sounds silly but true. Anyway, I hope that is all works out for you!!

Regard Andrea

P.s My 6 year old son has ADHD too!!!
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Old 09-02-08, 11:21 PM
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Re: I think I finally know what is wrong with me

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Originally Posted by ADHDphysicist View Post
One more thing, I live with WHAT IF something happenes to my husband, to my child or to my mother.... what if , what if and what if...
ADHDphysicist - I see that you have only made this one post. I hope you will come back and post more, because you could be my twin.
I've felt EVERY SINGLE THING you have described.

On thing in particular that I identified with was your description of worrying about the WHAT IF's. You will find that many ADHD symptoms lists include "a sense of impending doom". It's a feeling I was very familiar with - I described it as being in a state of near panic AT ALL TIMES. No wonder ADHDer's tend to have issues with anxiety and depression too.
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Old 09-03-08, 12:02 AM
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Re: I think I finally know what is wrong with me

put your keys around your neck like teachers do. lol that way when you pick it up from the designated spot hubby suggested, it'll always be around your neck .. just dont forget to look there when you can't 'find them' again.
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