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Old 07-11-17, 10:04 AM
englanjk englanjk is offline
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Depressed today

Hey guys, I haven't posted in some time and wanted to reach out because I am feeling pretty down today. I have been going to therapy for my depression and to get help dealing with ADD but my next appointment is not until Thursday so I figured I would type this out here.

I suffer from impostor syndrome, a lot of people do but it never seems to fade for me. I know that I have come somewhat far in my career but I constantly need help with tasks at work and it gets to me.

I feel like I need to change my image at work as well, I find my self from time to time wanting to dress better, I mostly wear jeans, docs and band t-shirts. This is also the norm for several other co-workers but I don't want to dress like this any more, not even in my off time. I have always had a self image problem and have never been happy with the way I look/present myself.

And finally the kicker, I know that I would be much farther in my career if it was not for ADD. I find a lack of interest in studying for certifications or just doing more than what is required of me at my job. I wish I could break past this but it's hard when I cannot focus on more than one thing for a few minutes at the most.

ADD has affected every aspect of my life. My marriage, my social life, my career and even my personal entertainment. I cannot tell you the last time I saw anything I wanted to do to the end. I have lived with this disorder my entire life and now at 37, it seems to be the worse it has ever been. I don't know what to do.
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