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  #1  
Old 06-12-12, 03:14 PM
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Angry Work Fuzzy Work!!!

It's past 8pm and I've got a hard deadline tomorrow that I can't miss. I've got a ton of work to do at home as well, which again has to be done tonight. Another sleepless night and I'm so tired already.

I am working. I'm writing/reading at the rate of one sentence an hour.

Why do I do this??? Maybe it's because I might have ADHD but still why??£$%£!!! Will I never learn??? I still can't comprehend how my brain can't be under my control. I feel as if my head is just empty. I have the correct thoughts but they just pass through my brain without having any impact whatsoever. It's as if there is a rogue part of my brain that is watching the other motivated parts getting more and more stressed, tired and frustrated and the rogue brain part is just laughing its head off and refusing to do anything at all because it knows that no one can force it to do anything.

And still I'm here on ADDF sprouting my rubbish instead of working.

I really am a complete idiot.

Bad fuzzy. Bad, bad, bad fuzzy
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  #2  
Old 06-12-12, 03:51 PM
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Re: Work Fuzzy Work!!!

hey fuzzy.. no help on my end but put on the coffee or tea kettle now!
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Old 06-12-12, 04:52 PM
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Re: Work Fuzzy Work!!!

Do you typically tend to get things completed - or at least as close to it as you can - in a last-minute frenzy after putting them off as long as possible? What is the usual outcome when this happens to you.
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Old 06-12-12, 05:21 PM
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Re: Work Fuzzy Work!!!

I know sweets

I'm still in the research and coding phase of my own dissertation so its okay.

But I DREAD the write up phase.

A friend suggested that I use a dictaphone (a modern cellphone or smartphone wil work too, they have enough memory) to dictate my written content.

Then play it back, transcribe and edit.

Or if you have the resources PAY SOMEONE ELSE TO DO IT!!!
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Old 06-12-12, 05:48 PM
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Re: Work Fuzzy Work!!!

Quote:
It's past 8pm and I've got a hard deadline tomorrow that I can't miss. I've got a ton of work to do at home as well, which again has to be done tonight. Another sleepless night and I'm so tired already.

I am working. I'm writing/reading at the rate of one sentence an hour.

Why do I do this??? Maybe it's because I might have ADHD but still why??£$%£!!! Will I never learn??? I still can't comprehend how my brain can't be under my control. I feel as if my head is just empty. I have the correct thoughts but they just pass through my brain without having any impact whatsoever. It's as if there is a rogue part of my brain that is watching the other motivated parts getting more and more stressed, tired and frustrated and the rogue brain part is just laughing its head off and refusing to do anything at all because it knows that no one can force it to do anything.

And still I'm here on ADDF sprouting my rubbish instead of working.

I really am a complete idiot.

Bad fuzzy. Bad, bad, bad fuzzy
WOW.

Fuzzy, you are the POSTER CHILD for The Now Habit, by Dr. Neil Fiore. Buy it on tape and listen to it.

Seriously, I'm EXACTLY the same as you and bit by bit, his methods are changing my life.

You can also check out "Awaken Your Strongest Self" by the same guy. But start with The Now Habit.

I promise, cross my heart, hope to die, that you won't regret doing that.

And in the meantime, you will get this done (or get extensions) just like you always do so BREATHE. The important thing isn't what you coulda shoulda woulda 10 days ago or 2 months ago or 5 minutes ago. The important thing is WHAT DO YOU KNOW RIGHT NOW? WHAT CAN YOU DO RIGHT NOW?

So take a breath. Take another. Close your eyes and take one more.

Ok, now. Write a little list of what you must get done tonight or tomorrow. Anything that can be pushed off to some other time does not go on that list.

Take another breath.

Pick one item on the list, and begin. Give yourself 15 minutes. Tell yourself that if you're not making progress with it, you will stop in 15 minutes.

I guarantee that you will be making progress with it and will likely end up spending an hour on it. Then pick off the next task.

It will be ok.
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  #6  
Old 06-12-12, 08:18 PM
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Re: Work Fuzzy Work!!!

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Originally Posted by Sandy4957 View Post
WOW.

Fuzzy, you are the POSTER CHILD for The Now Habit, by Dr. Neil Fiore. Buy it on tape and listen to it.
I second that. It's a great book. Mixed results for me so far due to overwhelming anxiety. My current problem isn't last minute work... I'm just not getting work done at all.
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  #7  
Old 06-12-12, 08:41 PM
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Re: Work Fuzzy Work!!!

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Originally Posted by Drewbacca View Post
I second that. It's a great book. Mixed results for me so far due to overwhelming anxiety. My current problem isn't last minute work... I'm just not getting work done at all.
I'll have to check that out. When I get around to it. LOL.
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  #8  
Old 06-13-12, 01:11 AM
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Re: Work Fuzzy Work!!!

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Originally Posted by spunkysmum View Post
I'll have to check that out. When I get around to it. LOL.
At least check out the reviews so that you don't forget about it!

http://www.dextronet.com/blog/2011/0...habit-summary/

http://lifehacker.com/5658620/the-no...uilt+free-play
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  #9  
Old 06-13-12, 01:21 AM
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Re: Work Fuzzy Work!!!

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Originally Posted by Drewbacca View Post
How did you know I was going to forget it? LOL
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Old 06-13-12, 03:29 AM
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Re: Work Fuzzy Work!!!

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How did you know I was going to forget it? LOL
Call it a hunch.
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Old 06-14-12, 04:19 PM
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Re: Work Fuzzy Work!!!

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Originally Posted by Drewbacca View Post
My current problem isn't last minute work... I'm just not getting work done at all.
Me too. Before my diagnosis I would put everything off until the last minute, now I don't even bother. I think my diagnosis caused some sort perspective shift in me, one that I'm not fully conscious of.

Whatever's going on, my work issues are worse now than they've ever been. Medication actually seemed to be making my procrastination worse, because I would become so self aware on the meds that I started over thinking everything and wondering if I should be in school at all. Now I'm trying to see how I do off meds. The heightened self awareness is gone, my old anxiety is back, my house is getting messier, and nothing is changing on the procrastination front.
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Old 06-14-12, 04:30 PM
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Re: Work Fuzzy Work!!!

Drew and Ana,

He specifically addresses the anxiety issues in Awaken Your Strongest Self.

I actually paid to consult with him, and he has helped me fix my issue with writing at the last minute. I don't have it perfectly down, but I've made major progress on it.
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Old 06-14-12, 04:35 PM
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Re: Work Fuzzy Work!!!

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Originally Posted by Drewbacca View Post

I'm just not sure if I agree with this-


Quote:
We don’t procrastinate because we are lazy. You certainly have motivation and energy for various activities that you do daily. Procrastination is not a character defect.
We procrastinate to defend our self-worth when we feel a threat to our sense of worth and independence. We procrastinate to temporarily relieve deep inner fears.
I really do think I procrastinate because I'm lazy- I simply don't like working. I really hate doing any kind of hard work, it's boring and I can think of a million other things I'd rather be doing.

I think my problem is that I never really grasped the idea that if I don't apply myself in the present I'll actually be less happy in the long run, because I'll always be stuck in dead end jobs that make me miserable. Same goes for having a clean house. I LOVE it when my house is clean, but I hate doing the work to make it clean.

I'm so focused instant gratification that I neglect to see how my future happiness is compromised by my current actions.
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Old 06-14-12, 04:39 PM
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Re: Work Fuzzy Work!!!

P.S. Ana, here's what I think is happening.

You've realized that this is a lifelong issue, and that you're not going to "fix it" by "trying harder." On the one hand, it was a relief to realize that you're not lazy, crazy, or stupid, as you previously believed. But on the other, now you don't know HOW to do it.

And when you add anxiety (or, in my case, PTSD) into the mix, it becomes a complicated soup. How do you motivate without returning to your basket-case self, who got things done at the last minute through herculean effort, and only because you were so embarrassed that you couldn't imagine any other way of making peace with yourself.

The answer is to first figure out how to stop depriving yourself, because (if you're like me, you've become so accustomed to it that you don't even know what you'd WANT to do if you had the freedom to do whatever you wanted to), and then to figure out how to reduce the anxiety over the past "failures."

And if you're like me, your "failures" are not "failures" that anyone else would see. They're all in your head. So figuring out how to allow yourself to let go of them is finding freedom for the first time.

It's a lot of work. A ton of work, and it requires outstanding professional help. I've been fortunate in that I've had the resources to hunt that down. But it's expensive and time-consuming, and frustrating, and requires a lot of your own time and attention, which is annoying. I just keep coming back to it because my situation feels so intolerable when I'm in it.

I hope that that makes sense.
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Old 06-14-12, 04:40 PM
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Re: Work Fuzzy Work!!!

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Originally Posted by Sandy4957 View Post
Drew and Ana,

He specifically addresses the anxiety issues in Awaken Your Strongest Self.

I actually paid to consult with him, and he has helped me fix my issue with writing at the last minute. I don't have it perfectly down, but I've made major progress on it.
I actually think that I'm incapable of working if I'm not anxious. I think it's one of the reasons my school output plummeted when I started dexedrine- I was suddenly very relaxed for the first time in my life.

I'm reliant on my anxiety, but it's also so hard to control. Sometimes it does my work for me, other times it shuts me down. But without, I seem to have zero output at all.
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