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Old 04-20-17, 02:31 AM
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Letching Gray Letching Gray is offline
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The Traditional 12-Step Thread

I hope I'm doing this right.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Hermus View Post
I think both are right in some way. Letting go, not knowing where you'll end up might be beneficial. But I can't blame myself or others for wanting to know what the benefits will be for going through all these troubles. It's hard to put myself through the fire if I don't know what will be on the other side.
Yea, who the heck wants to go through this process if there's no assurances where we're headed, where we will come out.

The AA and Affiliated 12 Step Program Literature contains Promises.

Quote:
Originally Posted by AA
The AA Promises
1. If we are painstaking about this phase of our development, we will be amazed before we are half way through.
2. We are going to know a new freedom and a new happiness.
3. We will not regret the past nor wish to shut the door on it.
4. We will comprehend the word serenity and we will know peace.
5. No matter how far down the scale we have gone, we will see how our
experience can benefit others.
6. That feeling of uselessness and self-pity will disappear.
7. We will lose interest in selfish things and gain interest in our fellows.
8. Self-seeking will slip away.
9. Our whole attitude and outlook upon life will change.
10. Fear of people and of economic insecurity will leave us.
11. We will intuitively know how to handle situations which used to baffle us.
12. We will suddenly realize that our Higher Power is doing for us what we could not do for ourselves
Are these extravagant promises? We think not. They are being fulfilled among us -sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly. They will always materialize if we work for them.
Alcoholics Anonymous p83-84
Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous with permission of A.A. WorldServices, Inc
FOR SLAA
Quote:
Originally Posted by SLAA
S.L.A.A Promises

1. We will regain control of our lives.

2. We will begin to feel dignity and respect for ourselves.

3. The Loneliness will subside and we will begin to enjoy being alone.

4. We will no longer be plagued by an unceasing sense of longing.

5. In the company of family and friends, we will be with them in body and mind.

6. We will pursue interests and activities that we desire for ourselves.

7. Love will be a committed, thoughtful decision rather than a feeling by which we are overwhelmed.

8. We will Love and Accept ourselves.

9. We will relate to others from a state of wholeness.

10. We will extend ourselves to nurture our own spiritual growth and that of others.

11. We will make peace with our past and make amends to those we have harmed.

12. We will be thankful for what has been given us, what has been taken away and what has been left behind.

Last edited by namazu; 04-20-17 at 01:53 PM.. Reason: Removed proselytizing comments; added quote tags.
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Old 04-20-17, 11:01 AM
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Letching Gray Letching Gray is offline
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Re: The Traditional 12-Step Thread

Quote:
1. We admitted we were powerless over alcohol - that our lives had become unmanageable.

2. Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.

3. Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.

4. Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.

5. Admitted to God, to ourselves and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.

6. Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.

7. Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings.

8. Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all.

9. Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.

10. Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.

11. Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out.

12. Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to alcoholics and to practice these principles in all our affairs.
Something I find amazing in these steps is the assurance, the reality, of a spiritual awakening as the result of doing them.

As a newcomer to AA, I often felt overwhelmed when I read these suggested steps to recovery. But, it wasn't necessary. Taking time to learn about them and to do the steps were key for me, and no one does them perfectly.

Last edited by namazu; 04-20-17 at 01:51 PM.. Reason: Added quote tags; removed proselytizing comments and comments discussing religion more generally.
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Old 04-20-17, 11:10 AM
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Hermus Hermus is online now
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Re: The Traditional 12-Step Thread

Quote:
Originally Posted by Letching Gray View Post
I hope I'm doing this right.



Yea, who the heck wants to go through this process if there's no assurances where we're headed, where we will come out.

The AA and Affiliated 12 Step Program Literature contains Promises.

The AA Promises
1. If we are painstaking about this phase of our development, we will be amazed before we are half way through.
2. We are going to know a new freedom and a new happiness.
3. We will not regret the past nor wish to shut the door on it.
4. We will comprehend the word serenity and we will know peace.
5. No matter how far down the scale we have gone, we will see how our
experience can benefit others.
6. That feeling of uselessness and self-pity will disappear.
7. We will lose interest in selfish things and gain interest in our fellows.
8. Self-seeking will slip away.
9. Our whole attitude and outlook upon life will change.
10. Fear of people and of economic insecurity will leave us.
11. We will intuitively know how to handle situations which used to baffle us.
12. We will suddenly realize that HP? (is HP ok here?) is doing for us what we could not do for ourselves
Are these extravagant promises? We think not. They are being fulfilled among us -sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly. They will always materialize if we work for them. Alcoholics Anonymous p83-84
Reprinted from the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous with permission of A.A. WorldServices, Inc

FOR SLAA
S.L.A.A Promises
S.L.A.A Promises

1. We will regain control of our lives.

2. We will begin to feel dignity and respect for ourselves.

3. The Loneliness will subside and we will begin to enjoy being alone.

4. We will no longer be plagued by an unceasing sense of longing.

5. In the company of family and friends, we will be with them in body and mind.

6. We will pursue interests and activities that we desire for ourselves.

7. Love will be a committed, thoughtful decision rather than a feeling by which we are overwhelmed.

8. We will Love and Accept ourselves.

9. We will relate to others from a state of wholeness.

10. We will extend ourselves to nurture our own spiritual growth and that of others.

11. We will make peace with our past and make amends to those we have harmed.

12. We will be thankful for what has been given us, what has been taken away and what has been left behind.
POSTED BY SLAA
LABELS: S.L.A.A PROMISES
Now in principle I'm willing to recover, but number 7 of the SLAA actually freaks me out more than it sounds like a promise. A committed thoughtful decision, sounds like signing a contract with a new employer. According to Robert Sternberg's triangular theory of love consummate love (which is the ideal) involves three elements: commitment, passion and intimacy. I don't necessarily fear commitment, but without intimacy and passion it is what Sternberg calls empty love.
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Last edited by namazu; 04-20-17 at 12:49 PM.. Reason: quote consistency
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Old 04-20-17, 11:54 AM
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Re: The Traditional 12-Step Thread

Quote:
Originally Posted by Hermus View Post
Now in principle I'm willing to recover, but number 7 of the SLAA actually freaks me out more than it sounds like a promise. A committed thoughtful decision, sounds like signing a contract with a new employer. According to Robert Sternberg's triangular theory of love consummate love (which is the ideal) involves three elements: commitment, passion and intimacy. I don't necessarily fear commitment, but without intimacy and passion it is what Sternberg calls empty love.
To love is an action, and actions, when we are present and engaged, are always born of considered choices.

In no situation is this more true than the interplay of Storge, Agape, and Eros.


Cheers,
Ian
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  #5  
Old 04-20-17, 12:12 PM
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Re: The Traditional 12-Step Thread

Thread reopened after review.

Please remember that the Meditation and Spirituality section is a place for sharing your own experiences and practices that have helped you manage your ADHD or other conditions (including addictions).

It is not a place to proselytize or preach, nor a place to belittle those for whom the path you've chosen failed. (Share, don't sell.)

Last edited by namazu; 04-20-17 at 12:52 PM..
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  #6  
Old 04-20-17, 07:00 PM
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Re: The Traditional 12-Step Thread

Quote:
Originally Posted by Hermus View Post
Now in principle I'm willing to recover, but number 7 of the SLAA actually freaks me out more than it sounds like a promise. A committed thoughtful decision, sounds like signing a contract with a new employer. According to Robert Sternberg's triangular theory of love consummate love (which is the ideal) involves three elements: commitment, passion and intimacy. I don't necessarily fear commitment, but without intimacy and passion it is what Sternberg calls empty love.
I hear you. Had the same thoughts. Amazing.

Two things come to mind. I remember it dawned on me, "Well, i haven't exactly had a ton of success so far doing it my way." LOL

And passion is different than souped up sexual energy. I never knew the difference. The fools gold of addictive trappings and the opportunity for a mature, passionate give and take relationship based on my own intact and emerging integrity, were blurred by my urgent neediness, my cravings for love and approval, for the opportunity to have an other make me feel whole and like a man.

I had done enough research to know that if I didn't change, I'd forfeit what possibilities remained to love and to be loved. That's just me.
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Old 04-21-17, 12:57 AM
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Re: The Traditional 12-Step Thread

Quote:
1. We admitted we were powerless over alcohol - that our lives had become unmanageable.
IOW, to begin to work on my sobriety through this program, I must start out conceding there is something other men can do to their heart's delight, but I can't cause I don't have enough determination, enough guts, enough power? I can't control; my drinking? Is that what you think? Honestly? Do you have any idea who it is you're talking to, pal? Huh?

I see. Well, go s..... you. I'm tougher than anyone you ever seen and I'll show you who has whatever it takes to be sober.

Twelve years later. S.... you. I had some bad luck. I can do anything you can do, only better.

Three years later. I told ya. S.... you. I'm here because my wife is driving me crazy.

One year later. Excuse me. I can't stop drinking no matter what I do or try. I give it my all. I swear today is it. I vow never to drink again every time I drink. I promise, every single
day.
Can you help?

I seem to enjoy getting the tar whooped out of me.
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