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  #1  
Old 04-27-06, 03:04 PM
smileh1985 smileh1985 is offline
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How does ADD affect maturity levels in adults?

I've read in a few threads here that adults who have add tend to mature later. Is this correct? I'm 20 years old and I'm struggling through nursing school beause the instructors seem to think I'm "unprofessional" in other words, immature. I really don't think that I am and I feel like they are being way too hard on me. I don't go out and party every night wtih my friends, or ANY NIGHT for that matter... I'm always at home studying. I'm well prepared whenever we have to work in the hospital and all that. I don't eally understand where they are getting it from because I feel like I'm being very professional. Could the add be causing this unprofessionalness in me? Or is just a problem I have? I just don't understand it because I think I'm very mature compared to most people my age who go out and party every night and have no responsibilties or jobs or anything like that.

I'm taking adderall xr 20 mg right now. Do add meds seem to help anyone with their maturity level? When I'm on my medication I feel more relaxed and I dont blurt out things that are absurd and ridiculous. I have kind of like a mute button affect and I control what comes out of my mouth.
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Old 04-27-06, 03:07 PM
smileh1985 smileh1985 is offline
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Could it be possible that I'm not on the right medication and I should try something else to help me with this? I really hope not because I'm on my 4th different add med and I hate doing trial and error with meds. I just want SOMETHING that will help me with all of my add problems.
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Old 04-27-06, 03:39 PM
william tell william tell is offline
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This is a very good question, I was wondering that myself the other day. I'm 41 and certainly don't feel it or act it.
Professionally I have done very well, but emotionally, well I don't know what emotional level I'm at or should be at -
That said I have met plenty of normals who are very immature emotionally. Will wait for the incoming responses and sorry I could'nt be of any help
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Old 04-27-06, 03:44 PM
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Have they given any examples of how they think your unprofessional?
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Old 04-27-06, 04:56 PM
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Define mature please.
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Old 04-27-06, 05:41 PM
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I don't know about anyone else, but being "mature" sure sounds boring.

You can make me grow older. but don't dare tell me to be "mature" or "act your age" when there is no good reason to.

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Old 04-27-06, 05:57 PM
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If you define mature as "stop being an idiot," I don't know about generally, but I definitely took longer to mature. I was around 20 when I decided to pull my head out of my nether region.

I went to college at 22, and that was just about right for me. I am 100% sure I would have flunked out in short order if I had gone straight in after college.

As for acting "professional," I really can't even tell what that means. Is that like not belching in public, or more like don't break into a rendition of "Roxanne" in the elevator? If so, my advice would be: don't belch in public, and don't sing "Roxanne" in the elevator. Take it from me.
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Old 04-27-06, 06:44 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Uminchu
If you define mature as "stop being an idiot," I don't know about generally, but I definitely took longer to mature. I was around 20 when I decided to pull my head out of my nether region.

I went to college at 22, and that was just about right for me. I am 100% sure I would have flunked out in short order if I had gone straight in after college.

As for acting "professional," I really can't even tell what that means. Is that like not belching in public, or more like don't break into a rendition of "Roxanne" in the elevator? If so, my advice would be: don't belch in public, and don't sing "Roxanne" in the elevator. Take it from me.
hehehe

I think my maturity is hit or miss. In some ways I am very mature, I have generally gotten along better with people older than me, maybe they were more tolerant of me, I'm not sure. I also had some things in my childhood that caused me to grow up faster than I should have.

I think that, for me, I feel so immature inside (still randomly jump and dance around, get really excited about childish things, have a hard time waiting my turn for something exciting...) that I feel self-conscious about it and try hard not to display it. I think that it can turn others off to me, I can come across as having no personality, but at times when I am myself, it seems to be perceived as "immature."

I think that I am generally immature, but have areas of maturity (which tend to be the areas that matter most anyway, such as a sense of what is right and wrong and empathizing with others ).
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Old 04-27-06, 06:51 PM
Bob1951 Bob1951 is offline
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afhoppie,

I think I know what "they" are calling "unprofessional" but it is going to be tough to put into words.

How do you feel in the presence of others, for instance, your instructors. Do you feel secure? Confident? People readily pick it up if not. I've seen it myself. There was a time when I was extremely insecure. I would have had trouble even posting to this board for fear of being viewed an idiot. Fortunately, at the time - 1968, a Univac with a 1.3 MHz CPU and a half meg of RAM could be mine for a mere 1.6 megabucks. And I don't think the internet was invented yet. I was viewed by others the same way that I viewed myself and it put them off.

Somewhere between age 27 and 30, I began to feel much better about myself probably because I was finally "maturing." Here is the strange thing, IF YOU FEEL CONFIDENT, you can act immature and people will love you for it. For instance, I walked into a cafeteria at age 53 wearing a double rotor propeller cap. I was trying desparately to keep a straight face but as I was taking a sip of soda I lost it and the soda came spraying out both sides of my mouth. The manager nearly wet himself laughing.

Did I make any sense?

Bob
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Last edited by Bob1951; 04-27-06 at 06:56 PM.. Reason: get my math straight
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Old 04-27-06, 06:55 PM
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Hahahah, I love it. Doing "immature" things because you want to. Doing them because you find them funny and don't care what other people think. This to me is healthy, this to me is mature. The ability to do stupid things you think are funny and defend them.

Goodonya.

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Old 04-27-06, 08:11 PM
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Well I guess we all have to define the word "mature" our own way.
If maturity is not running outside excitedly during the first snowfall of every year, then I'm not mature.
If maturity is pulling it together when you're falling apart because people are depending on you, then I am.
I'm often told I still have a "little girl" side. In that way, I guess I'll never mature.
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Old 04-27-06, 09:04 PM
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im new here so i dont how many of you will listen, but ill throw my 2 cents in. i have been highly immature, and have been told by many ppl, yet thats y i have the friends i do, i feel most of the time thats y they keep me around, cuz im the "funny guy" in the group, although when there is another guy like me i tend to get uncomfortable cuz they are invading my comfort zone if that makes any sense. ive been this way as long as i can remember, and now all the feelings of y am i acting like this and such forth are commin out and im gettin really uncomfortable, and when i try and act "normal" ppl ask me if im ok. i really just tend to act on impulse and put myself down right afterwards, but i guess its just my way of dealin with other ppl i guess, i dont know if that made any sense cuz i think i just confused myself so yeah
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Old 04-27-06, 09:22 PM
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I can only try to tell you, at 42, some of my experiences, in how I define my maturity level:


Quote:
As for acting "professional," I really can't even tell what that means. or more like don't break into a rendition of "Roxanne" in the elevator?
I have been known, on more than one occassion, to sing the tune, if I know it, played in an elevator- as long as it isn't one that's bores me to death.

You KNOW most people are usually humming it in their 'mind' anyways !!!



Quote:
For instance, I walked into a cafeteria at age 53 wearing a double rotor propeller cap. I was trying desparately to keep a straight face but as I was taking a sip of soda I lost it
Bob, I only wish I was there when you did that !!! (0:
I would've been the one to keep spinning the propeller on the cap !


I've said this before (not on here), but if I see a hopscotch drawn out, I HAVE to play it, no matter what I'm wearing (just the little 'kid' in me).

I jump up and down, clap my hands, and say 'Yay !!!' when I get excited about things, STILL !!!


I still walk/skip/walk when I'm laughing/talking with someone, and we're walking for a little distance.

I've gone to coffee shops, after work, dressed in business suits, and read Archie Digest comics (I don't know if any of you remember those, LOL!), because I just wanted to do something FUN to read, and have a good cup of coffee at the same time !


Other than that, I do my best, like everyone else, to adhere to work/social rules (pay bills, etc.)....you know..the 'boring' stuff that I have to do. (0;


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Old 04-27-06, 09:37 PM
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IMHO ADHD is a broad term that describes many permutations of a series of characteristics. Having said that, a lag in maturity is a common problem for ADHDers. The other problem that ADHDers have is the impulse problem. Blurting out things that should be left unsaid. That internal edit function that our brains have, is just not at the same developmental stage of our peers. From personal observations, I've noticed that students start to mature around age 16. So I believe Uminchu's observations are very accurate. Personally, I don't think I was fully "professional" in my maturity until my late 30's. Heck perhaps not until past my 40th.

I'm lucky that in what I do, I don't have a lot of personal observation about my performance from my superiors. I get to spend a lot of time working with kids. It's sink or swim and I'm a tadpole. My job found me!

Barkley who is a leading researcher in the field has talked about this subject. Here are some excerpts From his SF2k lecture.

Quote:
We tend to see as kids grow up a developmental curve. The development of inhibition and selfregulation that goes with it tends to show this kind of curve. So hereís what we see in normal kids. Youíd see a curve somewhat similar to that in AD/HD kids, and notice at any age you study them, AD/HD kids are behind. Thatís evidence that AD/HD is a developmental disability...just as learning disabilities all show these curves. They are developmental lags, but lag does not mean catching up. It means a chronic developmental lag in the development of that trait, so that at any age you study them they are not where they should be, but they are better than where they were before. So that AD/HD kids do get more inhibition, do get more self-control, do get more ability to manage themselves. But, itís never what it should be because other kids are improving, too. Itís like two cars going down a highway. Oneís going 80, thatís the normal kid; another oneís going 50, thatís the kid with AD/HD. Whatís going to happen? Theyíre both going to get there, but the gap between them is going to get wider and wider and wider. Thatís what you tend to see. So how much is this gap? We can measure it. Itís roughly 30-40 percent. AD/HD therefore is producing about a 30 percent lag in the development of self-control and inhibition. Now we can take that to the bank.
Quote:
Whatís the second-most common one [domain impacted by AD/HD]? Interpersonal relationships, as you might guess. Youíve got a hot-headed, emotional, immature, impulsive individual who says whatís on their mind. Not good. Not going to make a lot of friends. Hereís the third one [domain]: the occupational environment. AD/HD individuals change jobs more often, are seven times more likely to be fired from the job, and will not rise up the economic or employment ladder as quickly as other people without the disorder from the same neighborhood of the same IQ and the same educational level.
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Old 04-27-06, 09:47 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by stevek182
im new here so i dont how many of you will listen, but ill throw my 2 cents in. i have been highly immature, and have been told by many ppl, yet thats y i have the friends i do, i feel most of the time thats y they keep me around, cuz im the "funny guy" in the group, although when there is another guy like me i tend to get uncomfortable cuz they are invading my comfort zone if that makes any sense. ive been this way as long as i can remember, and now all the feelings of y am i acting like this and such forth are commin out and im gettin really uncomfortable, and when i try and act "normal" ppl ask me if im ok. i really just tend to act on impulse and put myself down right afterwards, but i guess its just my way of dealin with other ppl i guess, i dont know if that made any sense cuz i think i just confused myself so yeah
That made 100% sense to me.
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