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Old 11-07-18, 10:11 PM
peripatetic peripatetic is offline
 
 

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vivid, but not real memories

Query: is this an ADHD thing or related to my other issues? I can imagine in a visceral, thechnicolour, consistently precise/detailed Way "memories" of stuff I know I didn't do. I'll give you an example: I have those kinds of near tangible experiences about observing my mum as a child (she's the child) from an "observer" perspective. Clearly this is false insofar as i never casually/analytically/near tangibly lived that given its impossibility.

They are indistinguishable from the real, objectively (*confirmable* even) way I have of remembering things I *did* live.

Anyone?
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Old 11-07-18, 10:19 PM
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Re: vivid, but not real memories

I believe they are real. Even if only in my mind.
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Old 11-07-18, 11:58 PM
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Re: vivid, but not real memories

I don't know how much has to do with ADHD, vs. other diagnoses, vs. the human mind just doing its weird thing.

There are circumstances/events that I did not personally observe, but which my mind can sew into a "living movie" of sorts, because I have seen pictures of the people involved, and heard stories, and fill in the blanks.

But I do not doubt that these vividly animated scenes of a past that I was not privy to are the product of my imagination. (Leaving out some quibbles about whether I was there as a germ cell, e.g....)

Sometimes I dream very vividly, and upon waking, it can sometimes be harder to distinguish memory from fantasy (or memory of fantasy?).

But I do not become easily convinced while awake that -- for example -- my deceased relatives are still alive and with us in a corporeal sense; nor (more weirdly) that my significant other has shrunk to the size of a crumb and has become mixed in with the crumbs from some baked goods and I must be careful in my panic not to squish him, if I haven't already. That doesn't mean I don't still feel a sense of (e.g.) unease after I wake.

So, my experience is that while I can visualize and almost feel and hear scenes as though I was there (when they were clearly, for one reason or another, fictitious), I also know and feel that these "recollections" are the products of my imagination mixed with photos and stories I've heard, and/or the bizarre products of REM sleep.

I'm having trouble coming up with an instance of this (either a sleep-dream or a day-dream) where the impossibility of it would be difficult to prove (by incongruity of facts or general implausibility) -- but then, how would I know if I had simply imagined it, if I couldn't verify against something other than my own recall?

I guess it's time to be concerned when one begins to discount the incongruous facts and general implausibility and to believe that something happened (despite evidence to the contrary), because it feels so real....? (I recognize that "implausibility" is a squishy and therefore probably operationally useless criterion, though the existence of contradictory facts is less so.)
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Old 11-08-18, 12:12 AM
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Re: vivid, but not real memories

I understand this and can relate. Whether it's adhd related I dunno. I'm a visual person and sometimes even daydreams seem real.
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Old 11-08-18, 04:17 PM
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Re: vivid, but not real memories

I think you have a particularly strong visual memory system, but I don't think it's directly related to ADHD. I think it's relatively common to have false memories that seem just as real as real memories.
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Old 11-18-18, 02:51 PM
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Re: vivid, but not real memories

Could it be that the photos of her that you have seen and stories she has shared are being remembered in a very vivid way? I guess it could also be hallucinations.
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Old 11-18-18, 05:46 PM
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Re: vivid, but not real memories

Sometimes I have dreams where my deceased parents and sister are still around and my hubby is not disabled and sick (he appears fine, so this is before late 2002, when castrophic health problems started). Not about things that actually happened in the past, but just any events my mind comes up with. Obviously, this is my mind fulfilling my wishes to have my deceased loved ones back and my hubby in much better shape.
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Old 12-05-18, 11:50 PM
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Re: vivid, but not real memories

If what you describe, you do that incessantly, to the extent that it affects your productivity, I would say this is exactly what ADHD-Inattentive is, in my opinion?.


Quote:
Originally Posted by peripatetic View Post
Query: is this an ADHD thing or related to my other issues? I can imagine in a visceral, thechnicolour, consistently precise/detailed Way "memories" of stuff I know I didn't do. I'll give you an example: I have those kinds of near tangible experiences about observing my mum as a child (she's the child) from an "observer" perspective. Clearly this is false insofar as i never casually/analytically/near tangibly lived that given its impossibility.

They are indistinguishable from the real, objectively (*confirmable* even) way I have of remembering things I *did* live.

Anyone?
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Old 12-11-18, 08:42 PM
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Re: vivid, but not real memories

sometimes it's important to get grounding in trusting our own intuition even if the memory isn't precise, precise enough.

our own narratives of the past often come up in who we are right now. there was memory I had as a kid when I couldn't really remember if I was the catcher at a baseball game or the batter, but I remember distinctly getting knocked out, on the ground.

with a concussion those types of memories can be distorted, because I can remember playing the catcher in baseball and also being the home-run hitter in baseball. however, for the life of me, I can't recall if I was hit in the head with a bat as catcher or beamed with the baseball. ever sense I've been scared of getting hit in the head (well, as I think anyone should), however the fear from that moment in time left me over-defensive. I would constantly recall myself saying stuff about concussions even though I know the only time I could of ever had a concussion was from that one time (one of the ones).

so to close the feedback loop I decided that I was beamed. the memory might not be completely accurate however, a memory that is 20 years old never will be, so to get over my fear of that particular moment and stop the feedback loop I just decided to wright a narrative over that moment, picking whichever memory seemed right to myself. and it worked.
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