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General Parenting Issues The purpose of this forum is to discuss general parenting issues related to children with AD/HD(ADD & ADHD)

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Old 07-04-18, 05:47 PM
mildadhd mildadhd is offline
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Shepherds VS Engineers, Parenting Vs Bad Parenting

This thread is meant to help learn how to promote positive development, in humans born with a AD(H)D temperament.

(This thread is not meant to blame anyone, but to promote the positive emotional environments, that promote positive emotional states, that promote healthy emotional development, in the lives of the parents and their children.

Biologically, when ever possible, our children are better with us, than without, this thread is also meant to help reduce the guilt parents feel, by promoting the different types of individual help, we all need, in our family life at home and "pastures" to promote positive development.)

1. Parents are Shepherds, Not Engineers
 ADHD is a disorder of brain development and functioning
 It is not a choice or the result of willful misbehavior
 ADHD is a strongly genetically influenced disorder in 65- 75% of all cases
 It is not the result of poor parenting or social learning and so it
cannot be unlearned just by changing the social environment
 ADHD cannot be trained out of the child
 Parents must accept and adapt to the child‟s ADHD
Parents must create a supportive environment (pastures) around the child with ADHD to reduce conflicts and impairments and promote the child‟s adjustment and positive psychological development as much as possible
Although this thread topic is partly inspired by Dr. Mate's and Dr. Barkley's works', I also want to encourage a diversity of works' and insite by any other Attention Disorder specialists you prefer, in regards to the thread discussion subject, as well.

I have attention deficit disorder myself, and my three children have also been diagnosed with ADD.

I do not think it is a matter of bad genes and bad parenting, but I do believe it is
a matter of genes and parenting.

Neuroscience has established that the human brain is not programmed by biological heredity alone, that its circuits are shaped by what happens after the infant enters the world, and even while it is in the uterus.

The emotional states of the parents and how they live their lives have a major impact on the formation of their children's brains, though parents cannot often know or control such subtle unconscious influences.

The good news is that major changes in the circuits of the brain can occur in the child and even the adult if the conditions necessary for positive development are created.
-Gabor Mate, M.D., "Scattered", (introduction)

"When people are suffering mentally, they want to feel better葉hey want to stop having bad emotions and start having good emotions." (-Temple Grandin)

Last edited by mildadhd; 07-04-18 at 06:01 PM..
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