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General Medication Discussion This section is to be used for general medication discussion and other medications not broken out in their own respective forums.

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  #1  
Old 03-09-09, 10:06 AM
Late Boomer Late Boomer is offline
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EPIC BAD Reaction to Wellbutrin right now

***Not for the faint of heart***
150 mg of Wellbutrin:

I haven't been on addforum for I can't remember. Since I was here I started wellbutrin it has been a month and it is totally dominating my reality right now and I am so scared.

Last night I had a major panic attack that lasted from 530 am to at least 8am. I haven't had a panic attack in forever. years. at first I thought this was caused by my dexedrine. I thought I was actually going through some sort of dex withdrawal because I hadn't taken one in 2 days and was refilling on sunday. But I had done that in the past. Today I took my normal dose of dex and it was all good. And then last night until now it struck again.

630 am My first reaction was no way. you have to understand people that I went from a peaceful day to this feeling small as a pin prick in my chest and worsening worsening worsening...

I had a full on epic panic attack that is still happening now. In the throngs of it I had this idea that taking a shower would make bad stuff go away. I was trying to be strong. Trying to be a man and pretend that there is a whole bunch of people that this is happening to right now and I need to be strong for them. makes sense. I need to help people more in life. That is the only way to be free.

It comes in waves. Goes and comes back Thank you for listening. I am being strong. Strong rigid or strong bending. Tao te Ching

*googling ancient chinese text*

Stiff and unbending is the principle of death.
Gentle and yielding is the principle of life.

Thus an Army without flexibility never wins a battle.
A tree that is unbending is easily broken.

The hard and strong will fall.
The soft and weak will overcome.

-- Tao Te Ching (76)


Just words. I know how mortified I will be when I read this later but I don't care. My hair is still wet from the shower how long has it been.. I just want this to GO AWAY.

Stimulants were fine. why could I not have been happy with them. Why did I need to try something else. stimulants: take them, they do there thing, they are honest, safe. like coffee. have a cup goes... away, have a tea... goes away, have a dexedrine same thing. This crazy back door take the medication for weeks then it starts working doesn't work for everybody etc etc etc... that is NOT for me. Totally blindsiding. I know this isn't real. But there are feeling in my chest and thoughts that I can't control but watching them. I need/don't want/want very badly to call my girlfriend. I can't even talk. I didn't call her last night and I won't call tonight. talked to her today about fixing her computer, bus route numbers and what else ? how boring is that. I WAS FINE TODAY. Sweet simplicity of life is the best thing.

It's better now. a Downwave. I had water and swallowed half and spit the rest on my carpet. just wetting my lips. my heart goes out to all that has anything remotely bad as this.

I look in the mirror and I look totally fine. not unhealthy and then the mirror itself freaks me out. I am never paranoid like this. I am not going to send this.

if the worse of this was 10 I am at like 7.

I will explain. I just don't want to scare anyone. This is just therapeutic. I don't know maybe I won't send it. There is maybe some crazy spyware thing logging this and will be used against me at a later date like a job interview or for some crime I didn't do. Can you imagine these people in jail that are innocent. Why? That **** is real. It happens. Awful. The internet is public domain. This is paranoia and I know it. I can't send this. **** it I am HONEST this is the truth. this is not me I need to get back to one. I hope this helps and doesn't do harm. This is just the reality of my particular situation that is NOT reality. If you don't like it come to my stupid condo and tell me to my face. I am a REAL person and can be sent to the wolves like anyone else.

I am going to be ok.

if the worse of this was 10 I am at like 6.

This part reminds me of a dream. not so bad. hope no more bad wave. I will be fine. Don't worry.

at 6 heavy, dreamlike, still kind of paranoid. waiting. time kind of normal.
At 7 general paranoia, strange feeling in my body. Racing speculation of the world.
At 8 unexplicable feeling of being hijacked. worried that I haven't lived my life properly and it ends here. the need to move around. try and focus on one thing and deny.
at 9 various 'things' everywhere. anything. like stuff in the dark corner, closet. paralyzing sounds. I rotate between brave searching for 'them' and also being to scared cause I don't know what it is. I know I am not crazy but that doesn't help at all. I pretend I am protecting children, people, anything and this is the only thing that gives me the balls to do it.
(I totally realize now that this is so stupid)
at 10 black and white. not even anything. 2 minutes seem like forever.

I am pressing submit now and I am fine enough.
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Old 03-09-09, 04:23 PM
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Re: EPIC BAD Reaction to Wellbutrin right now

hope your okay dude... that was actually kind of comical in a morbid way .. I'd try and stick it out...lol " just kidding' . Anyway you should try drinking some tea with valerian or something the next time that happens. I actually did have a panic attack from well about 3 years ago but I was living alone at the time and on my first dose it was sr and i think it was for 300 + mg's . So usually I can take the xl but if I'm starting obviously it's at a much lower dosage. Good luck bro. Maybe you took too many , I forget what you mentioned your dosage was?
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Old 03-09-09, 04:25 PM
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Re: EPIC BAD Reaction to Wellbutrin right now

Oh, this sounds really horrible. Hope you get better soon.
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Old 03-09-09, 10:19 PM
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Re: EPIC BAD Reaction to Wellbutrin right now

Thanks for the support guys.

I just woke up. Some strange dreams but otherwise I am fine.

Just to clear it up I only took 150 mg's of Wellbutrin SR generic. I have been taking it for a month once a day and I 'thought' it was working. I guess it is just starting to kick in now. I am not taking it anymore. I know it is not right for me enough said.

Quote:
that was actually kind of comical in a morbid way
True. I found myself in such a ludicrous situation that it was funny. I think I was using humour because I knew what was happening wasn't real.

Besides being kind of embarrassing it is exactly how I remember it. Just to elaborate on #9: I didn't want to say everything and scare people but basically there was a 'little person' in my closet. Kind of playful and peeking but powerful and otherwordly. scary. I actually looked in my closet like 3 times and I am 29 years old. Also tall and slim things in the walls observing the whole thing. The whole experience was just suffocating.

It's just Dexedrine/Adderall for me from now on. I intuitively knew not to dabble in ssri's or snri's but I of course had to rush things. They just don't agree with me. I think I am on a small enough dose to just stop. My doctor is on vacation until late March. Any Ideas? Should I just stop or split my pill in half.

A few more facts about my reaction that I have figured out.

1. Taking a Dexedrine calmed down my mind but I was scared to take more because my heart was beating so fast and it was hard to breath.

2. Both panic attacks happened exactly 7 hours after taking the pill and lasted about the same amount of time (3 hours).
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Old 03-09-09, 10:25 PM
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Re: EPIC BAD Reaction to Wellbutrin right now

forgot

Quote:
Originally Posted by hollywood View Post
you should try drinking some tea with valerian or something the next time that happens
Yes valerian totally calms me down. I had this great "Peace Tea" with valerian and chamomile, sullcap, catnip, etc. It would have helped. I actually had an urge to just pound some alcohol but I didn't have anything around and it could have made things worse.
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Old 03-09-09, 11:00 PM
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Re: EPIC BAD Reaction to Wellbutrin right now

yeah sleepy time tea may have helped. Are you on xl or sr , xl would be better most likely . It could take weeks to adjust if you held with it and the combo can be good after time, usually the anxiety will subside after time. I find the sr to be more stimulating. At 150 you can drop it and you will be sleepy for a few days then you will be fine.
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Old 05-21-09, 05:41 PM
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Re: EPIC BAD Reaction to Wellbutrin right now

Hi Late Bloomer,

I am very new to this board. I just had a comment. I am no expert but I read somewhere (and I don't remember where) that generic Wellbutrin is not the same, and not as good, as the real thing. Sounds like you would agree! Hope you're doing better. It's been ages since I've had a panic attack but I remember how un-fun they can be.

Take care,
Gail
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