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Relationships & Social Issues This forum is for adults with AD/HD to discuss how AD/HD affects personal relationships.

 
 
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Old 12-24-17, 12:08 AM
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WhiteOwl WhiteOwl is offline
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Re: What I'm doing to try to handle my codependency

Quote:
Originally Posted by aeon View Post
Your emotions are a gift, and are key to your survival, just like the nerve endings that carry pressure, temperature, and pain signals.

It is possible to experience them fully and deeply, but without the need or desire to control them, or have the sense of being controlled by them.

I used to think as you do. Learning how to be present and engaged with my emotions, and accepting them as they are was one of the best things I ever did for myself.
I'm definitely present and engaged when I'm feeling that sinking, empty feeling. That sense that something is just "wrong", that I need something (assurance? validation? comfort?) that the other person can't/won't provide (or provide enough of, because I don't think anyone could ever provide enough) and that I can't seem to find a way to provide for myself. It's a feeling of doom, like a huge raincloud hovering over me. I don't know how to accept this feeling, or how accepting it will help me to feel any less miserable when I feel it.

How did you learn to not try to control your emotions and not be controlled by them?


Quote:
Originally Posted by aeon
I can appreciate what you are saying, but know that Love does not concern itself with such things...and that's part of what makes it beautiful.
But how do you tell the difference between love and just infatuation? Can you truly love someone, if you're not happy with yourself and have so many issues? Or am I just using people to try to fill a void, to get validation and make myself feel better? Scary thought.
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